86 Ways to Torture and/or Annoy House

Why 86 you ask? Because that is, currently, the number of House episodes that have aired on TV. These are 86 ways I have thought of to either torture or annoy Dr. Gregory House. I will be doing this list in four parts: the 1st and 2nd will have 21, the 3rd and 4th will have 22. Hope you enjoy!

Disclaimer: Unfortunately, I do not own House. Though he may or may not be locked in my very tiny closet…looks innocent then locks closet door

Let's get this torture party started…

1) Obviously, you could take his cane away, but let's make this more fun shall we?

2) Take the little flames off the end of his cane (too easy am I right?)

3) Take his Vicodin, tie it to a string from the ceiling just high enough so he has to jump for it, an sit back and watch.

4) Reincarnate his car into a very rusty 1967 pick-up.

5) Switch his motorized scooter with a push scooter.

6) Put Cuddy in a glass box in her underwear and make him wear a blindfold.

7) Do the same with Cameron.

8) Put him in a small white room with Chase.

9) Record Chase talking and put him in a sound-proof room with the recording without an off switch.

10) Hide his electric guitar (I got the idea from Wilson.)

11) Replace all his Vicodin pills with laxatives (blame Cuddy)

12) Put him in a room with a very optimistic person and tape his mouth shut.

13) Bring Vogler back.

14) Give him a dribble cup.

15) Make Foreman fix his coffee for the rest of his life.

16) Trip him.

17) Make him go to the top of the Empire State Building by way of the stairs.

18) Make him work in the clinic.

19) Make him work in the clinic without pay.

20) Move his apartment to the top floor.

21) Make him go on another date with Cameron.

Does anybody else think I should quit while I'm…not so much ahead as out of ideas? I'm having a surprisingly hard time coming up with new ways to torture and/or annoy the infamous Dr. House. Any ideas? Please tell me what you thought of my first 21 ways. I need your feedback or this is never going to come anywhere close to finished.

-Phantom