You find yourself in a large, theater-like, room with a life sized T.V. A guy in an usher's uniform walks in and stands in front of the audience (you).
"Hello," says the usher, "I'm one of the author's many nameless creations. Since he's the one writing this fic., he created me to tend to boring things like disclaimers and representations.
"He does wish that you enjoy this fic. and if you have anything to say that might help the author write a better story, send him a reveiw after reading this fic." He starts to leave, but realizes something and walks back.
"One more thing," he adds," the disclaimer."
He whips out a large sign saying 'Disclaimer:This author owns only the plot, Supertastic's Jewel Glue, and the crew that recorded the jewel glue commercial. The Egg Carrier 3 was borrowed by an author by the name of TheFormerPrinceofDDR.'
"That is all," he says as he puts away the sign and walks out the door.Shortly thereafter, the fic begins.
What In Blue Blazes? (A Sonic Oneshot)
The scene focuses on a diplated old shed. Inside, we see the blue wonder, the sonic boom, the fastest thing alive,... Sonic the Hedgehog! Asleep on a living room sofa.
With the sleepiest yawn you can think of, the hedgehog rolls out of bed and stretches out as far as his body permits.
"Aahhhhhhhh," yawns the blue wonder, " I wonder what Sega has in store for me today?" He glances at the calander, shrugs, and walks over to a mini-fridge when something hits him and he snatches the calander from it's spot on the wall. There's a week circled on the calander and all the weeks before it are covered in Xs.
The sonic boom lets out the biggest "YAHOOOOOO!!!" known to the cool, blue planet.
"Finally! I've been waiting for this week to come for...," Sonic pauses to think, trying to remember the last time he had a vacation. "Fooooooorrrr... errrm... you know, I don't think I have ever had a vacation before. I'm either kept busy by Sega, the comics, or my many public appearances." mumbles Sonic. "Well, I better make this vacation the best one I can have. Sooooooo... what to do?"
He starts thinking about what to do, only to draw a blank. "Uggh!" Sonic starts getting fustrated. "Why can't I think of anything? I need some fresh air!" And with a classic sonic boom, he races out of the house.
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Meanwhile, everyone else notices the exact same thing on their calanders same thing, except for Rouge and Knuckles, who have to do a Supertastic Jewel Glue commercial first. We focus in on a floating aircraft, the Egg Carrier 3, parked near Angel Island. Eggman, despite being an evil supergeinus, was also at a loss on what to do. "Ugh! I'm one of the biggest supergeinuses in the universe and I can't think of anything to do on my one week off!" proclaimes the angry doctor, "Curse you, Sega, comic books, and the Justice System!" (Don't ask.) He paces up and down the bridge. "Hmm... I've got it!" Egghead-ehrm,Eggman- exclaims when a robot hands him a piece of paper.
"Huh? What's this?" he asks as he snatches the paper from the robot.
"What, a truce hidden in the fine print that prevents me from harming Sonic and co.? URRRRRRGGGHHH!
"Prepare an invasion! Tonight is the night we eradicate all lawyers!" Robotnik proclaims as the robots start mobilizing.(Sorry, but I had to give him something, and, let's face it, hardly anybody likes a lawyer. At least, according to T.V.)
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At the exact same time, a camera crew is setting up for the aforementioned commercial on the "island."
"Okay, places everybody! You make the prop shards look messier, you get out the the prop tube, you make sure the cameras are ready, and YOU!" orders the surely director, "Have you memorized your lines?" He directs this question towards Rouge and Knuckles. Rouge looks bored while Knuckles is almost in a frantic panic.
"Heeelllllllooooooooooo, Sega choose me to be the thief for a reason, you know," says Rouge in her seductive voice in a half-bored, half-annoyed tone, "If I can memorize 12 bluprints in 15 minutes, memorizing a few lines is a piece of cake!"
"Ummm...," Knuckles, well, umms, " I don't remember if..."
"Geese! You really are a Knucklehead, aren't you?" Rouge says in a half-taunting, half- if you don't have those lines memorized I'm gonna pummel you, sort of way.
"Forget it! Just read the cue cards," snaps the director. "Places everybody! We're on in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1, and hit it!"
Due to the horribleness of Knuckle's acting (and my lazyness), I'll just skip to what Rouge says after the first take.
"Somehow, I don't think there's going to be much vacation time left by the time we're done..."
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As for everyone else, they had already decided to take their vacation at the secondary station square located near Honolulu. The only reason they left Sonic behind is because wherever Sonic is, trouble is right at his heels. Everyone, however, didn't feel anything except the masusses hands and a burning curiousity: despite their better judgement, they had invited Shadow along as well, but he was nowhere to be seen. Where was Shadow?
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2 hours later, Sonic is still running around.
"UGH!!! Next time, if there is one, I'm planning my vacation out ahead of schedual!" yells the stressted mammal. He continues racing towards the Egg Carrier 3, not knowing that was where he was going.
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Dr. Eggwhi- I mean- Dr. Eggman, was beaming at how quick his army had assembled.
'Perhaps I should give them an upgrade as a reward for their dilligence,' he mused as he cleared his throat.
"My dear servents, as you already know, we are going to war with some of the most brilliant, coniving geinuses, after me of course, the universe has ever given witness to, The Lawyers." A few robots shudder at the words while others start preparing their arms.
"They manipulate the law in ways that countless villains would give their right army for. They speak in doublespeak and know how to pull the wool over the cleverest minds eyes. Even I can barely see what they where saying. Well tonight, we will decimate their numbers and enslave those we spare." A creeply smile sneaks across the bad proffesor's lips, savoring the thought as the blue blur smashes through the window.
"What in blue blazes?" Eggman yells as he helplessly watches Sonic smash almost all of his robots and jump through the other window.
Robotnik, not knowing what else to do, orders the few remaining robots to repair what they can as he slunked back to his room, sobbing quietly as he went.
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"And that's a wrap! I'll meet you back at the editing studio for the final cut! And as for you," the director says, relived that they had to do only 6 takes for the forgetful echedna to get it right, " Rouge, I couldn't ask for a better actor. I'd tell you to watch your back, but you already know that. Knuckles, I've got to say, you could've been worse. Thanks for finally getting it right."
He begins to leave when..."AHEM!!"
"What do you want?" the director asks impaitiently.
"Our pay," Demands the bat forcefully.
Grumbling, he throws a couple of sacks of money as they leave.
"Finally, money I can keep!" Rouge dreamily exclaims.
"Now I have enough money to buy the security system the Master Emerald desperately needs," the hothead says contentedly as the fastest thing alive speed right on through.
"What in blue blazes?" the duo exclaims as, in one fell swoop Sonic scatters the money from the sacks all over the island, smashes the master emerald for the upteenth time, and demolishes the camera equipment as he dashes around the islands edge, knocking everyone over, and breaks into the Egg Carrier, leaving everything in total dissaray!
In unison, Knuckles, Rouge and the Supertastic camera crew yelled vengefully at the top of their lungs, "SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOONNNNNNNNIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIC!" Then they place the pieces of scrap/money in a heap and stampede after the cool, blue menace.
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Back on the Egg Carrier 3, Eggman is back on the bridge, and so is another army of robots. Apperently, he has a backup army at all times.
"Well men, I as-sume th-that you know the evade sig-gn-nal," he stutters, still traumatized by sonic's latest record for destroying a robot army. "W-well, (breaths in and out once) AT ARMS!"
On cue, the hedgehog jumps through the already broken window. But this time, Eggman snaps his fingers and the army sidesteps out of the blue blur's way, but a few still get smashed before he makes his leave. The remaining robots stepback into their original positions.
"Well, it was inevitable," Robotnik sighs. " Well, now we can continue the attack uninterrup..."
Unfourtunatly, the doctor never finishs that sentence, for at that exact moment, the treasure hunting duo and the Supertastic camera crew jump into the ship, demolish ALL of the remaining robots, and jump out of the ship, leaving once again to hunt down the destructive blue hedgehog.
Eggman, in a calm moment of clarity, realized that the mission was impossible as long as Sonic was around and vice versa. Then, his personality did a 360.
"SONIC THE HEDGEHOG!!! Send the lawyers to Antartica and burn the contract! I'M HAVING HEDGEHOG TONIGHT!"
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A few minutes later,Sonic, comepletely oblivious to what he had done, decided to stop trying to figure out what to do. It was begining to make his brain hurt. Then, for the first time since he saw the date on the calander, he noticed something.
"Huh?" said the blue blur as he looked behind himself and saw Knuckles, Rouge, the Supertastic camera crew, and Eggman in the Eggmobile with...is that a machine gun? 'Uh-oh, I better kick things up a notch,' Sonic thought as he sped up to avoid the angry mob, only to have the mob speed up with him. What all of them comepletely missed was that they were heading straight for a cliff overlooking a set of train tracks. And, unfourtunately for him, the train was on time. Before anyone could even fathom stopping, they ran straight off the cliff. If somebody didn't do something quickly, either the fall or the train would be the end of them.
Just at the last moment, in a rare act of heroism and self-preservation, Eggman used the machine gun to blow off the rooftops of each of the cabins and used the tractor beam to speed up the train so that it was directly under them. Luckly, the train's shipment was pillows and matresses, so they all landed softly in each of the cabins. Except for Sonic and Eggman, who landed face first on the floor of the only empty cabin on the train.
A figure in the coner snorts. "Shnn-ork snork, huh? What in blue blazes?"
Sonic, unlike Eggman, had retained consciousness. He looked up and saw nobody other than his biggest rival, Shadow the Hedgehog.
"Huh? Shadow? What are you doing here?" asks the dazed blue hedgehog.
Shadow normally would blow him off, but he probably needed some competition.
"Hitchin' a ride. Apparently, there's a competition where you need to have some serious strength, smarts, and speed. The grand prize is a lifetime supply of chili-dogs and one item of your choice from Ebay for free. Want to join?" says the dark hedgehog.
Sonic just stood there, unable to comprehend that Shadow could be so friendly or so talkative.
"I have my moments," says Shadow, seeming to know what Sonic was thinking.
"In that case, okay!"
So, Sonic joins Shadow on the trek to the competition (which is a completely different story). Afterwards, he spends the rest of the week paying off the damages he caused to everybody, including Eggman. Rouge, Knuckles, and the Supertastic crew spend another day redoing the commercial, and Eggman battles his way out of a lawsuit for a breach of contract and attempting to pull of a terrorist act (both of which he miraculosly got off scot free due to lack of reliable evidence.).
"And so, that's the story of Sonic's first day off. I'd like to say... What in blue blazes?"
Camera gets knocked over and the last image we see is Sonic running off into the distance.
The author walks into the theater-like room.
"I hope you enjoyed my story. It's my first fanfic, so if you have any suggestions on how to make a better story, you are more than welcome to do so now. Since that's all I have to say, I shall leave.
Later!