Author's Note: Again as always, characters and locations and such do not belong to me, they belong to the talented J.K. Rowling. This was written two years ago for my final project for my English class. It's extremely silly and should not at all be taken seriously. Leave some feedback if you want.
Hogwarts: A Musical, Sort of
We find young Harry Potter, awash with sunlight, waking in the early hours of a Monday morning. He sits, up and stretches out his arms, failing to stifle a big yawn. Soon he hears yawns coming form all the other boys in the dorm. He notices a faint musical quality to it, but really only thinks about it in passing. He starts to get dressed stopping only when he realizes he can't find his left sock.
"Anyone seen my other sock?" Harry asked the others.
"Haven't seen it in a few days mate,
But I bet if you would wait;
It will surely reappear,
Or it may very well be near."
Ron sang in response to Harry's question, shrugging his shoulders at the end. Harry raised his eyebrows at his friend but did not ask. He turned to the other three boys. Who all shook their heads but whistled the tune Ron just sang. Harry shook his head and tried to tune out the humming and whistling while continuing the search for his sock.
"Alas! It is almost time for class!
But good news I have for you,
I have an extra two.
That you can borrow
At least until tomorrow!" Neville sang from the other side of the room.
"Erm…thanks. But I think I've found some now." Harry said sticking his bare left foot into his shoe. He hurried down to the great hall in order to avoid any more musical outbursts from his friends. He was not sure of what was going on at Hogwarts and he was not sure he wanted to know. This idea became even more concrete when he entered the entrance hall. Before him he saw Draco Malfoy surrounded by probably half the girls in Hogwarts, including Harry's current crush, Cho Chang.
Harry tried to step past into the great hall but he stopped cold in his tracks when he heard Malfoy start to sing. Yes, Draco Malfoy started to sing.
"All the pretty ladies,
I oughta pick some daisies.
You all make my heart pound,
Even when you do not make a sound.
Though my favorite of all,
Is a certain Ravenclaw."
He sang, in a soothing tenor, to Harry's surprise. Harry groaned as more people gathered around to listen. Apparently everyone was feeling the need to sing today and it was getting on Harry's nerves. He thought that Draco was done, but boy was he wrong.
"That girl with the shiny black hair,
Makes me quiver in my chair.
When she smiles, I know that I could run miles
Just to be with her.
Oh Cho, you are like a doe.
I could battle any foe,
If I could just have you.
I love you Cho Chang, the girl who makes my heart pang."
At this point Draco was down on one knee serenading the girl. Harry gritted his teeth and was about to say something when Cho started to sing.
"Draco, please just let go,
I don't want to know,
About your love for me,
Just let me be.
I'm in love with another man,
Who is sort of tan.
His green eyes you'll truly despise,
When they are staring into mine.
Harry Potter, you are divine."
She sang turning to Harry who looked like a deer in the headlights. The look on Draco's face was very likely to rival that of the Basilisk.
"Erm thanks Cho, let's talk later." Harry said trying not to call anymore attention on the situation.
"Oh Harry, you're as pretty as a canary.
I'll never be pretty like you,
But I'm certainly witty, it's true.." She sang.
"No Cho, you're beautiful!" he said, forgetting for a moment that the hall was full of people.
"Precious Potter always gets what I want,
And he always is willing to flaunt.
But not for long,
Because I'm singing this song,
In hopes of winning the girl,
And I end this all with a twirl."
Draco sang storming out of the room, but not before the promised twirl of his wand. Harry went running for cover in the Great Hall. There he found Hermione with the Daily Prophet in hand.
"Did you already eat Hermione?" Harry asked sitting down hoping to have a quick breakfast before double potions.
"As if I'd eat,
The laborious feast,
Of the overworked house elves!"
Hermione sang rising to her feet. She walked over to a first year Hufflepuff.
"See her freshly laundered robes,
cleaned by the greatly probed elves.
And all for nothing! We have to free the house elves!"
At this, all the students in the great hall jumped to their feet.
"We've gotta free the house elves!
They won't do it themselves!
We have to give them a better life,
Free them from all their strife!
So come on everyone let's free the house elves!"
Harry looked on in horror as everyone did a very well coordinated dance. There were students on the tables, and even the few teachers present had joined in. Harry quickly raced out of the hall not wanting to hear the second verse. As he slowed down he found Ron looking rather glum, sitting on the grand staircase.
"Hey, what's up mate?" Harry asked sitting down next to him.
"It's just we have double potions soon, and well I'm not looking forward to it….
Double potions, always gives me the notion,
That I'm likely to get a detention.
Though I'm sure it has something to do with the fact that I never pay attention!
But the cauldrons really don't thrill me,
And Snape always gives me the willies!
So I was think maybe we should skip to day!"
Ron sang with a fierce attitude, as he sprang to his feet looking to Harry for verse two. Instead though, he got the thunderous voice of Severus Snape.
"Mister Weasley I'll inform you,
That I can hardly even argue,
That you will serve detention,
And you'll do it in my dungeons.
For the misbehaved will surely pay.
So what do you say!
Let's get brewing!"
Harry got up slowly and started to back up the grand staircase. Ron and Snape heard him though and started to follow him up the stairs.
"Let's get brewing, Maybe even singing!" They chanted together as they followed him.
"What in the name of all things magical is going on here!" Harry roared at them. They both stopped singing and moving.
"Harry, you realize this is a musical and you haven't even sung one note yet. Not to mention you are the main character, so sooner or later you are going to have to get over you shyness and belt out that solo of yours!" Ron said in a slightly scolding tone.
"Ron what in the world are you talking about." Harry asked, getting slightly frightened by his friend's erratic behavior.
"Look here mister Potter, we have been instructed that everyone must sing today, or else we will suffer severe consequences." Snape said his voice heavy with anger.
"Says who?" Harry demanded.
"You-know-who, he wants to see how much control he has over certain people. Apparently he has a hostage, we don't know who though so I'd start singing Harry." Ron said, but as Ron said Harry's name there was a resounding noise, much like a gong.
"What the…" the rest of Harry's sentence was drowned out by the heralding of trumpets.
"Alas my friends! We shall all sing together,
a chorus about the weather.
For I'm am the strongest wizard of all!!
Lord Voldemort, he who reigns over this hall!
You will all fall to my feet while I keep up the beat!"
Lord Voldemort continued his song paying no attention to the entrance of Dumbledore, who pointed his wand at the dark wizard's back and sent a silent but deadly curse his way. All music stopped as the snake of a man crumpled into nothing but a corpse on the floor.
That is how the dark lord met his match. Apparently though the theater did lose a gem that day, for Lord Voldemort could have really made it on Broadway. But anyways after that little incident people continued singing the rest of the day, but out of joy, not fear for their own safety. Now many years later, Harry has been working on compiling the songs everyone sang that day in order to make Hogwarts: A Musical. Whether or not it will be a success has yet to be decided. The happiest day of Harry's life though of course ended with the Fat Lady singing her song, because Hermione had to mention it's not over until the Fat Lady sings. Which of course led to some tears, before the Fat Lady sang her rendition of I Feel Pretty from West Side Story.
" I feel pretty…"
The End