Nova Scotia's Final Gambit
The sun's rays squeezed through the openings in the curtain, drenching my face with bright daylight. My alarm made me jolt awake. I woke up rather grumpily, as I didn't get much of a good night's sleep. I wearily cancelled the alarm and made my bed, then I went downstairs to the kitchen to make my breakfast.
As my bacon cooked itself in the microwave, I began to realize what today was. Today was the day that Nova Scotia said would be the 'final test'. I assumed he meant the final test of endurance of his torturing. "Oh, no…" I moaned to myself fearfully. "He warned me that he was going to torture the 'living daylights' out of me, didn't he?" I quaked in anxiety as I remembered his angry warning. The microwave beeped four times in succession, and I fetched my bacon and my pieces of toasted bread, and built myself a bacon sandwich.
I carried my sandwich and tea up to my room. I seated myself at my desk and booted up my computer, then loaded up my game. The Benjamins were all in their house, doing whatever me or the game had ordered them to. Manitoba was eating some cereal at the kitchen mini-table. Ontario was preparing for a game he had that day. Quebec was feeding the family's pet fish, Pictou, New Glasgow, Stellarton and Fredericton. New Brunswick was chatting with her new boyfriend, Saskatchewan, on the computer. And Nova Scotia… He was having a warm shower. I clicked on his mug shot at the left side of the screen to focus the in-game camera on him. He relished in the tepid waterfall that was drizzling onto his naked self (with his southern region obviously being blanked out). He was crooning to himself blissfully as he scrubbed his body with a minty shower gel.
Suddenly, he noticed me peeking at him. "Hey! What are you staring at, you little shit?" he swore wrathfully at me. "Ah-ah-ah! Don't look at my private parts!" He told me to look away, making little angry shushing sounds. "Er, sorry…" I snivelled, doing just as he told me to.
Nova Scotia left the shower and spun around quickly to change into his everyday outfit – navy blue tartan gown and kilt tied at the back and to the right of his stomach with a black ribbon, light blue collared shirt and smart red tie underneath, light green knee-length shorts, and black and white shoes and socks. He then went over sullenly to the bedroom. New Brunswick saw him enter. She gasped in anxiety, turned off the computer quickly and hurriedly left the room.
The game automatically ordered Nova Scotia to sit down on Quebec's bed. He did just that, and he stared at me crossly. I was listening. "Look," he said to me, his face slightly angry. "The love between me and New Brunswick was true. Since the day when we were born, we knew we had so many things in common. We were both seaside provinces. We both had vibrant cultures. We both had a passion for fishing. We both had an excellent taste in music. But you had to interfere with our heartfelt affection for each other. You seized control of New Brunswick's mind, didn't you? You indoctrinated her into breaking up with me. The result? We're now unhappily divorced, and it's all because of you. Yes, that's right, YOU. The very person who created us and built us a home and a roof over our head…"
As he spoke, that notorious, sinister orange glow started forming in his eyes again. I cowered in dread. "I thought you were meant to provide the best quality of life for us?" Nova Scotia rasped, his arms folded. "But no. You decide to make it a misery… Especially with me and New Brunswick." He huffed angrily. "So tonight, get ready. Prepare for the most excruciating, agonizing, traumatizing experience of your life. I will torture you. Torture you like mad. Torture the fucking crap out of you. I'll use some of my good old, tried-and-tested torture methods… and a few new ones I'll invent, too. So be afraid, Mrs. Creator Of Us. Be VERY afraid!"
I gasped in such shock and horror that I almost choked on my bacon sandwich. I gulped down my tea really fast and quickly rushed down to the kitchen to wash up my dirty cutlery.
When I returned to my computer, the game had ordered Nova Scotia to go to a restaurant. I presumed it was the same restaurant as yesterday, and that he would order the same huge buffet of food as last time. I was right; the game let me view the inside of the restaurant, and in front of him was the exact same enormous buffet as last time, including the cottage pie, extra-spicy Buffalo wings, sausage casserole, spicy beef tacos and breakfast burritos, a cup of milk, some Brussels sprouts and artichokes, and of course, the optimum, extra-meaty lobster with added juice and flavour, which would come after he'd eaten everything else.
Nova Scotia got on to gorging down his whole buffet. Bits of food zipped everywhere as he chomped and gulped down noisily and sloppily. After he'd scoffed everything down, the whipped cream on top of the trifle arrived – the first-class, extra-meaty, juicy and flavoursome lobster. He cracked it open, pieces of its hard bright red shell flying everywhere, scooped up a handful of its abundant meat with his hand, and began to guzzle it down, the meat squelching and oozing its superfluous juice as he polished it off. All the other people in the restaurant, including the waiters and chefs, gawked at him in revulsion.
When he'd finished everything off, he felt an air of great gratification. "Yummy, tasty lunch," he crooned. The game then ordered him to go to the Riverville Fish Hatchery to catch even more of the finest lobsters for his supper that night. "Ahem, yes… I can see what you're trying to do, game," I remarked sarcastically, as Nova Scotia got onto the bus and travelled to the hatchery.
Nova Scotia used his extensive fishing skills to catch as many of the finest-quality lobsters as he could. He dumped them all into a bucket so that he could easily transport them back home.
The sun was going down, so Nova Scotia went back to the Benjamins' house. He took all the premium lobsters out of his bucket and filled a huge iron pot with water from the tap. Picking up each lobster one by one, he dropped them into the water, where they crawled around, slipping and sliding about. Nova Scotia giggled crazily as he ignited the stove and put the pot to broil. The lobsters began to shrivel and turn red as they were broiled alive. As the temperature of the water reached boiling point, they began to scream shrilly. Nova Scotia guffawed menacingly, his fists in the air, and his eyes shiny and orange.
Once the lobsters were ready, Nova Scotia removed them from the pot using a pair of tongs. He placed them all onto a tray, lined with newspaper. The paper soaked up grease and the surplus juice from the lobsters.
Nova Scotia sat down at the kitchen mini-table hastily. He whipped out a lobster cracker and ruptured all the lobsters up, shards of their firm outer shell flying everywhere. The super-juicy and extra-flavoursome bounties of meat were revealed in all their succulent glory. Nova Scotia scooped up some of the meat and began to chomp down on it messily, with the meat squelching and oozing its abundant juice as he munched on it. Manitoba, Ontario, Quebec and New Brunswick walked in on him, and they all gasped in extreme horror. New Brunswick especially. Her ex-husband was overeating unnecessarily (at least to her and the other Benjamins. I knew why he was doing this). Manitoba, Ontario and Quebec watched helplessly, their faces perturbed.
As Nova Scotia gobbled down the last scoop of the finest super-juicy and flavourful lobster meat, even more satisfaction washed across his face. "Mmm! Delicious!" he warbled. New Brunswick gasped in horror again, and Manitoba, Ontario and Quebec all gave each other worried looks. He fertilized the garden with the lobster shells and rushed back inside the house.
I was getting ready to go to sleep. I brushed my teeth, anxious about what Nova Scotia had planned for me. Leaving the bathroom, I entered my bedroom and turned off the light, pulled back the soft, supple, thick duvet and slid myself in, pulling the duvet over myself. I lay my head down on the smooth, thick, stretchy pillow and fell asleep instantly.
A couple of hours later, I began to breathe heavily and toss around. I began to dream. This time, I was being transported to a very familiar place…
Instead of the Benjamins' house, I was in a storage room in the South Riverville Leisure Centre. I was hiding underneath the hollow of an old office desk, curled up and lying on my side on the floor. I had my pink swimming costume on. I was lying in waiting. Nothing could be heard but absolute silence.
A few minutes later, I heard footsteps outside the room. They sounded infamously familiar; angry and sharp. "Oh, no," I moaned to myself softly, "Is it a certain ginger-haired person?" I then heard the lock being undone and the door open quietly. I shivered anxiously as the footsteps drew nearer. An irritable huff could be heard, which made me shudder even more.
My legs had seized up from being squeezed into the small space for so long, so I decided to shift them. Unfortunately, this made my feet knock against the wooden structure of the desk. Nova Scotia heard the noise, and that menacing orange blaze returned in his eyes once more. He rushed up to behind the desk and spotted me curled up on the floor. My cover had been blown once again. "Oh, fuck…" I swore, as he grasped me by the nape of my neck, grinning sneakily.
Nova Scotia lay me down on the floor, stomach down. He slackened his black ribbon and straightened it out. "Oh, God…" I groaned unhappily, knowing what was coming up.
Nova Scotia prepared himself for the first shot by tossing himself back. Hollering boisterously and heatedly, he lashed my arms, making them turn red and bleed small streams of blood. I sucked in air through clenched teeth, and my eyes began to produce tears. He then flogged my legs, making more thin, bleeding cuts on them. My tears flowed over, and I began to cry. "Ah-hah-hah-hah," I sobbed, trying to bear the stinging pain.
Nova Scotia then proceeded to whip my back, which hurt like having acid poured onto a sensitive wound. "Nuh-uh-uh-uh," I blubbered, tears driving down my face. Nova Scotia turned me onto my back and lashed my stomach, which added even more excruciating pain. "Nee-hee-hee-hee," I sobbed despondently. I covered my eyes with the palms of my hands, my tears running into them.
Once he'd given me a few good whippings, he coiled the ribbon on the floor. "Get up, you quisling!" he bellowed shrilly, his bad breath blustering onto me. "Nee-hah…" I moaned, reluctantly standing up and taking a few steps forwards. But it was so dark, I couldn't see anything. Nova Scotia made the most of this fact to his own benefit. He snared my feet with the ribbon, and I tripped up, crashing to the earth.
Nova Scotia retrieved his ribbon from the ground and draped it over his shoulders. He threw me down again and stood with his back to me. "Oh, no…" I moaned faintly, knowing what was coming.
Suddenly, Nova Scotia let a great one rip all over me, a brown cloud of sulphur gas gusting from his backside. All the food he'd eaten that day was released in one big, reeking fart. "No!" I cried in misery, more tears streaming down my face. Nova Scotia smiled sadistically. "Let me guess… he's been eating that 'premium' lobster with extra meat, juice and flavour?" I thought. He licked his lips with delight. "Superior lobster, with extra meat, juice and flavour… Mmm! Simply divine!" he crooned, cutting the cheese all over me again, another cloud of brown sulphur gas blustering onto me. I wriggled about in agony, the awful stench trailing into my nose. I'd guessed right once more! Nova Scotia smiled cruelly again, and released another stinking fart onto my face.
Nova Scotia embedded his rear onto my face. He re-draped the ribbon over his shoulders and broke wind at a bass-like pitch, a cloud of 'cocoa powder' emanating from his derriere. "Eww!" I whined loudly, writhing about in anguish. Nova Scotia only smiled callously, and ripped another huge fart on my face again. "Ah, what a relief," he sighed. "I held that one in for such a long time…" "Ugh…" I moaned, trying to cope with the terrible smell. Nova Scotia relaxed himself, and let loose yet another malodourous wind blast.
Nova Scotia stood up and pulled down his knee-length shorts to his ankles, revealing his white panties. He sat back down on my face and released a steamy, juicy gas detonation, a cloud of 'chocolate dust' blustering from his backside. The back of his panties blew out. "Yuck, what the fuck is THAT?" I wondered angrily. Nova Scotia cut another rancid wind eruption into my face, the back of his panties gusting out again.
My face all of a sudden turned a pale green. I was going to come down with nausea once again! "Oh, fucking hell…" I swore. Nova Scotia broke wind noisily, another cloud of 'chocolate powder' emanating from his behind, chuckling joyfully. "Aw, you loving this, my dearie?" he cooed in a falsely sweet voice, letting another one rip onto me. "No, no, and NO!" I screamed, getting louder every time. "Oh, really? No? Eh?" he chirped, looking disillusioned. "Well, if you say so. But I'll persist, anyway." I moaned loudly as he farted into my face once more, smiling viciously, another brown cloud of sulphur gas gusting from his rear, the back of his panties blowing out once again. "Wow, he must've eaten so much 'premium' lobster today," I thought sarcastically, as he released another putrid outburst of gas onto me, the back of his panties gusting out once more.
Nova Scotia stood up again, keeping his knee-length shorts down at his ankles. I took in some fresh air, but then he bent down slightly, showing his white panties clearly. "Oh, no, the big one's coming, isn't it?" I anticipated, shuddering in dread.
Nova Scotia let rip a 'Halifax Explosion' – a fart so huge, so stinky, and so deep-pitched, it browned the air in the entire room, and made it reek like a filthy toilet. The back of his panties blew out a lot, and I could see one of his glutei. "PHEW-WHEE!" I complained out loud, trying to stand the awful reek. Nova Scotia chuckled wholeheartedly, and he released a high-pitched trumpet toot, a disgusting mud-brown cloud of 'cocoa powder' emanating from his rump. And as an extra 'treat', he cut another 'Halifax Explosion', the back of his panties blowing out so much I could see one of his southern cheeks again. The room filled with dirty chocolate-brown air, and the door protruded with the pressure. I tried to bear the horrifying stink, which had been turned up even more.
Eventually, the room became so pressurized from Nova Scotia's 'Halifax Explosions' that it exploded itself, and brown stains splattered everywhere – including the walls. The door broke into numerous wooden chips. Nova Scotia smiled sadistically, and let a very high-pitched fart rip, an almost black cloud of sulphur gas blustering from his backside, the back of his panties gusting out again. He pulled his knee-length shorts back up, fastening the button. I couldn't bear to smell the horrible stench any longer, so I rushed out of the storage room (or what was left of it, anyway), flapped my wings really fast and began to soar around the leisure centre. I flew around in many different directions so Nova Scotia wouldn't be able to find me that easily.
I landed in the upstairs café and ran behind the counter quickly. I found a box of freshly-cooked chicken nuggets and fries beside the microwave. "Mmm," I crooned. I grabbed the box and added two sachets of salt to my taste, then began to munch on my 'late-night lunch' happily, despite being nauseous.
However, I then heard some footsteps outside the café doors. They were disturbingly familiar. Angry and sharp. I let a handful of fries drop back into the box. "Oh no," I moaned. I quickly finished off my snack and recycled the box hastily, then hid beneath the counter anxiously. Nova Scotia burst through the doors of the café and looked around for me, breathing heavily.
His eyes turned to the counter – where I was hiding. He rushed over and found me straightaway! "Gotcha!" he exclaimed blissfully, dragging me out from under the counter. "Oh, please…" I begged, my hands clasped together.
Nova Scotia grabbed me by the shoulders. "You want some bacon for breakfast, my precious?" he warbled. "Some lovely, mouth-watering fried bacon?" "But it's a bit too early in the morning for breakfast…" I replied, perplexed. He didn't listen to me, obviously, and dragged me over to the stove.
"Let me fetch the utensils," he chirruped. He fetched a frying pan from the cupboard beneath the stove and shut the doors. "Now, let me fetch the bacon." He walked up to me, carrying the frying pan. Without warning, he whacked me across the face with the pan, blood flying everywhere. "Ow!" I yelped in pain, rubbing the injured area. Nova Scotia chuckled evilly. "Hah! Take that, you stupid bitch!" he cursed. He then slapped me on the arms, making even more blood zip all over. "Ah-ow!" I cried, rubbing the hurt part. "Bitch!" Nova Scotia swore wrathfully. He smacked my legs with the pan, making even more blood soar all over the entire kitchen. I screamed and rubbed them to minimize the soreness.
Nova Scotia tossed me onto the floor. He crouched down and propped me up. He hit me on the crown of my head with the pan, making blood fly all over the place. "You shitty twat," he cursed. "You piece of piss." My head had gone pink and slightly pulpy. He beat it with the pan over and over, making blood zip everywhere, turning it red and mushy. "You little fuck. You crappy crap-face!" he cursed crossly. "You idiotic whore!"
My head transformed into a red lake of blood and pieces of broken skin, caking my hair and crusting it. Nova Scotia prepared to deliver the final shock. "YOU SON OF A FUCKING SHAME TO THE BENJAMIN FAMILY!" he roared furiously, cracking my crown open using the pan, with blood splashing all over the walls, and everything in the kitchen. A small portion of my brain was exposed through the deep crack he made in my head. It shed waterfalls of blood. "Yah-ah-OWWWWWWW!" I howled in such agony that I began to cry again. I caressed my poor head to soothe the thunderous pain, my hands getting covered in blood.
Nova Scotia grabbed me by the shoulders again and blasted a gale of halitosis onto my face. "Eww. You got any mints to hand?" I asked sardonically. "Mints? Hah! What good will they do to me? Nothing! Absolutely nothing! And for that, I prefer my breath stinky!" He gusted even more foul breath onto me. And to make it even more disgusting, he forced my mouth open and blustered a hurricane of halitosis into it. I writhed around in great desolation, but he kept me locked in his grip with his meaty hands. The food inside my stomach squelched, and my face turned as green as the inside of a lime.
I rushed out of the café and began to flap my wings rapidly again. I rose into the air and began to soar all over the leisure centre once more. Like last time, I flew around in various directions, so that it would be harder for Nova Scotia to find me.
I landed in the main pool area, just beside the big pool. I dived in and swam over to the Jacuzzi, which was located in the middle of the two pools. There was a raised platform under the water to sit down, so I went ahead to seat myself there. The water was lovely and warm.
But the peace and quiet was broken by Nova Scotia, who suddenly burst through the doors, grinning maliciously, his orange eyes and white teeth gleaming dazzlingly. He spotted me in the Jacuzzi, and I gasped in horror. I tried to hide underwater, but he still knew I was there.
Nova Scotia went over to a box where the switch to turn on the Jacuzzi bubbles was situated. Smirking menacingly, he pulled the lever down to the 'On' position, and the bubbles began to run, which made me jump up to the water's surface. He spun around rapidly to change into his swimming shorts with a special kilt made from Spandex fabric and a light turquoise ribbon tied at the back, then he jumped into the water and swam up to me, grinning deviously.
Nova Scotia grabbed me by the shoulders and thrust me underwater. I tried to swim back up to the surface, but he kept me in the water by pressing down on my head. Nova Scotia turned around so his backside was on my face. He let one rip, gassy bubbles emanating from his behind. Anything I tried to say came out as a garbled pile of bubbly gibberish. He farted in my face again, more gas bubbles being ejected from his rear. I was beginning to drown, so I tried to swim back above water. However, Nova Scotia kept me locked in, and broke wind once more, with even more gas bubbles being released from his derriere. The slipperiness of the water made him unintentionally free me from his grip, so that I could swim up to the water's surface and catch some fresh air. I breathed heavily to fill my lungs with some much-needed oxygen.
However, Nova Scotia soon rose up to the surface too. He sat down beside me, lifted himself up slightly and passed gas, with some fizzy bubbles being ejected from his backside and rising up to the surface, blending in with the Jacuzzi bubbles. "Ugh," I complained, flinching. Nova Scotia then stood up and turned his back on me, ripping a smelly fart, a light brown cloud of sulphur gas emanating from his rear. I tried to wave away the malodourous air. Nova Scotia giggled sassily, and pulled his shorts down slightly, so that I could see a small bit of his southern stripe. He let loose a high-pitched, stinky trumpet toot, a pale brown cloud of sulphur gas gusting from his rump. "Eww! Disgusting!" I whined, trying to fan away the unpleasant smell. Nova Scotia only smiled nastily, and he cut another squeaky, whiffy fart, another pale brown cloud of sulphur gas blustering from his behind.
I swam as fast as I could and climbed out of the pool hastily. I flapped my arms speedily again and soared into the air once more, flying all around the leisure centre for the third time. Like the previous two times, I flew around in varying directions so that it would be trickier for Nova Scotia to search for me.
I landed in the children's play area, which was located at the very back of the second floor of the leisure centre. At the very top, I saw a rocket with round windows on the sides. Perfect. I rushed all the way up to the rocket and lay down under the window so Nova Scotia wouldn't see me from the outside.
I lay in waiting for a long time. I thought that I'd finally lost Nova Scotia for once. I smiled joyfully. He wouldn't be able to find me up here.
Or so I thought… I heard angry and sharp footsteps approaching from behind. I was looking straight up, so I couldn't see him coming. My heart thumped with anxiety, and I breathed through my mouth.
Nova Scotia slowly skimmed above me, his orange eyes and white teeth almost blinding me, grinning spitefully. He had changed back into his ordinary clothes – collared shirt, red tie, gown, kilt, double-tied black ribbon, knee-length shorts, and shoes and socks. His face hovered above me. I finally noticed, and I screamed in horror, my heart jumping in panic and shock.
I cowered into the back of the rocket, shivering with terror. Nova Scotia whipped out his fiddle and bow, and began to play it so loudly that the whole play area quaked with the reverberating sound waves. "Argh!" I complained, blocking my ears. But he kept on fiddling noisily, which made me unblock my ears so that the horrible noise could reach my eardrums.
Nova Scotia came closer to me, and noisily fiddled extremely close to my ears. My eardrums began to make deep, booming sounds, like an elephant stampeding. "Noisy Nova Scotia, huh?!" I yelled sarcastically, trying to stand up to the terrible din.
He fiddled shrilly on the openings to my ears, making them hurt slightly. "Ow, please, you're giving me earache," I moaned. "I don't care," huffed Nova Scotia indignantly, and he played his fiddle so loudly that my ears leaked a clear fluid.
He put his fiddle and bow away, and loosened his black ribbon. He draped it over his shoulders, turned his back on me and let a huge one rip, a cloud of 'cocoa powder' emanating from his backside. "Eeh…" I groaned. Nova Scotia farted quite loudly, another cloud of 'chocolate dust' gusting from his behind. He chuckled heartily. "Oh, I'm just so gassy tonight, aren't I, my lovely?" he cooed, letting loose another windy blast, with a slightly darker brown cloud of sulphur gas blustering from his rear. "Hah, yeah," I replied sardonically, trying to cope with the awful stink. Nova Scotia giggled sweetly. "Hee-hee. I'm glad you agree," he smiled sadistically, releasing another gaseous eruption onto me, a dark brown cloud of 'chocolate powder' emanating from his derriere. "Hmm, I know, right," I replied sarcastically, the stinking gas entering my nose. My face was now the same shade of green as fresh spring grass.
Nova Scotia grabbed my shoulders and stuffed me up the front of his kilt. "Oh, dear God, no!" I shrieked. He kept me under there using his hand. I could smell wind-breaking, and I could see minutiae on his knee-length shorts, like crotch lines. I flinched in disgust at the stink. Nova Scotia smiled nastily, and then proceeded to stuff me up the back of his kilt, holding me in place with his hand again. The smell of farting was even worse on that side, and I could see the contour of his backside. I flinched even more. "It smells really windy down there, doesn't it, sweetie?" he cooed.
Just as I was about to agree with him, Nova Scotia let a huge one rip in my face, a cloud of 'chocolate dust' gusting from his behind. And how convenient was it that I was right down there at that very moment? "UGH!" I complained loudly, my vision browning, and my face turning summer green. The crotch region of Nova Scotia's shorts warmed up with the hot wind. I choked with the appalling stench, and I began to cry for the third time that night. One mistake – one very silly mistake - led to all this madness? Huh. New Brunswick and Nova Scotia did truly love each other after all, and this was his way of punishing me for breaking up two made-for-each-other soulmates.
Nova Scotia pulled his knee-length shorts down to his ankles, revealing his white panties once more. The delineation of his derriere was even clearer. Nova Scotia cut another windy blast, a disgusting chocolate-brown cloud of sulphur gas being ejected from his rump. The back of his panties blew out. "No!" I wailed sadly, the horrible stench making its way into my nostrils. "Please, no!" Nova Scotia just giggled melodiously, and he let loose another gassy detonation, an even filthier mud-brown cloud of sulphur gas blustering from his rear. The back of his panties blustered out again. I began to suffocate, and tears rained down my face. Nova Scotia cut the cheese once more, with an even darker brown cloud of sulphur gas gusting from his backside, and the back of his panties puffing out one more time. The crotch area of his shorts was now as hot as a freshly-boiled kettle, and it stank like a sewer and landfill crossed with each other.
I wriggled out from the back of Nova Scotia's kilt and inhaled some fresh air while I could, because then he draped the ribbon over his shoulders and bent down slightly again, his white panties showing. "Oh, shit…" I swore in anticipation. I knew what was coming.
Nova Scotia let rip another 'Halifax Explosion', the back of his panties blowing out greatly. The whole play area filled up with 'cocoa powder', and began to stink greatly. The plastic began to bulge and crack under the pressure. "Phew…" I moaned, trying to bear the reek. He released another 'Halifax Explosion', the back of his panties gusting a lot out again, the air turning an even darker shade of brown, and stinking even more. The plastic began to melt with the hot gas and crack and bulge more intensively. "Ugh…" I groaned even louder, holding my nose.
Nova Scotia draped his ribbon over his shoulders again, holding on to it tightly. He ripped a 'Halifax Explosion' that was so huge, so stinky and so deep-pitched that the plastic melted down completely and bulged and cracked to the maximum capacity. The back of his panties puffed out a lot once more. I was still holding my nose, tears spilling down my face, but I had to let go, making the terrible stink enter my nostrils again.
Nova Scotia exhaled a massive sigh of relief, pulling his knee-length shorts back up and re-fastening the button. "Oh, it felt so good releasing all those big farts, didn't it, my beloved?" he crooned, beating his stomach. His pot gave a rumble of agreement, and Nova Scotia cut a high-pitched, stinky wind blast onto my face, an almost-black cloud of sulphur gas being ejected from his behind. "Mmm…" I moaned, trying to cope with the awful stench.
The plastic melted, bulged and cracked to the maximum pressure, and the entire play area exploded in an enormous chocolate-brown boom, brown stains splashing everywhere. I flapped my arms rapidly and soared around the leisure centre for the fourth time that night. I flew around in knotting directions so it would be more difficult for Nova Scotia to spot me.
Eventually, I landed in a bathroom. I washed my bloodied head in one of the sinks, the water turning pink from all the blood. Walking over to the hand-dryers, I pressed the button and dried my hair off under the warm current of air, stroking it to let the heat touch all the areas.
But then Nova Scotia stomped in, with shiny orange eyes and white teeth, and spotted me drying my hair off. Seeing that my hands were still wet, he rushed up to me and forced my hand up the hand-dryer nozzle, making a surge of electricity roast me alive. "AAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!" I howled as the extreme jolt zapped me with the power of ten thousand thunderbolts. "Heh heh," Nova Scotia smirked evilly, not caring at all.
I tugged my hand out from the nozzle, black smoke puffing from me. "That was a great shock!" I screamed humourlessly. Nova Scotia cackled maliciously, and dragged me into one of the stalls. He opened the toilet seat and dunked my head in. My hair got drenched again from the toilet water. "Yuck," I complained.
Nova Scotia reached the handle and flushed the toilet. My hair twisted many times with the gushing torrent of the water. "Arrrrrrrggghhhhh!" I screamed as my hair was plaited by the twirling water. Nova Scotia giggled sweetly, and let a high-pitched gassy blast rip, a cloud of 'chocolate dust' emanating from his derriere. He lurched me out of the toilet and dragged me out of the stall.
I freed myself from his grip and dashed to the room immediately before the main pools. I took cover in one of the shower cubicles, but Nova Scotia knew the path I had taken, because the bathroom was just to the east of the changing cubicles. He rushed up the shower which I was hiding in and thrust the door open, revealing my hiding place. "There you are, you little shit-face. NOW YOU SHALL FEEL MY WRATH! AH HA HA HA!" he guffawed nastily, his orange eyes and white teeth whitening my vision and making me see colourful floaters. "Oh, God, please, no!" I wailed miserably.
Nova Scotia crept up to me, slamming the door shut, and made me cower into the corner. He turned on the hot water tap, grinning devilishly. Steam began to billow, making the glass fog up. The water continued to heat up until it reached the point that even just a little drizzle would scald me.
Nova Scotia re-draped his ribbon over his shoulders, turned his back on me and broke wind, a cloud of 'chocolate powder' emanating from his behind, misting up the glass more. The air began to smell. "Eww," I complained. Nova Scotia smiled sadistically. He let another huge one rip, a slightly darker brown cloud of sulphur gas gusting from his rear, fogging up the glass even more. "Oops!" he cooed in a fake kind voice. "Yuck," I moaned again, the air starting to stink like a sewer. Nova Scotia giggled beautifully, and he cut the cheese again, an even darker brown cloud of sulphur gas blustering from his backside, misting up the glass completely. Now the air reeked of two sewers. "Ugh!" I whinged even louder.
Nova Scotia grabbed me by the shoulders and forced me under the boiling-hot water. "YAHHHHHHHHHHH!" I bawled in anguish, the water searing my skin, turning it as red as a maple leaf in autumn. Nova Scotia chuckled heartily. He let loose a squeaky, smelly fart, a small cloud of 'chocolate dust' blowing from his rump, misting up the glass behind him. "Nee-hah-hah!" I wheezed, trying to catch some air. He kept me tightly under the downpour of broiling water, spanking me all over, giggling melodiously, adding even more agony. Nova Scotia blocked my nose and mouth and ripped a bass-like, stinky wind blast, a darker brown cloud of sulphur gas gusting from his derriere. "Ah-hoo-hoo!" I gasped breathlessly. The glass fogged up so much that nothing outside could be clearly visible. My skin developed first-degree burns from the scalding.
I rushed out of the shower and into the main pool area. I flapped my arms and soared up to the yellow beams that were suspended from the ceiling, keeping my balance. Nova Scotia burst in, his menacing orange glowing eyes and gleaming white teeth staring up at me. "Ha ha! You can't get me, boy!" I taunted him repeatedly, doing a blissful dance. "You can't get me, boy!"
Then Nova Scotia had a brilliant idea. He retrieved a glass and filled it with water from the pool (ugh), then he fetched a growth tablet and dropped it into the water. The tablet fizzed as it reacted with the chemicals in the water, much like the Jacuzzi from earlier. Nova Scotia gulped down the solution hastily. I watched in horror as he gradually grew to the height of one of the masts of the Angus L. MacDonald Bridge. He grinned impishly at me, his hands on his hips. "Oh, crap…" I swore, staring at the titanic (d'oh!) Nova Scotia.
Nova Scotia laughed out loud, his guffawing booming, making the whole leisure centre quake. He stomped up to me and took me roughly between his thumb and index finger, giggling sweetly. Compared to him, I was just the height of the Peggy's Cove Lighthouse. "Oh, fuck," I cursed again, his gleaming orange eyes staring into my brown irises, his glittering white teeth reflecting me. With a huge, hollering roar, he tossed me across the pool. I landed with a massive SPLAT! on the wall, blood splashing all around my body. Nova Scotia chortled rowdily, making the whole leisure centre tremble again.
He peeled me off the wall like a sticker, leaving a body-shaped silhouette behind on the blood splash, and threw me down into the big pool. I flailed around underwater for a few seconds, then rose to the surface again, gasping for air. He was standing right at the edge of the pool, hands on hips, and I could see the crotch region of his knee-length shorts.
Nova Scotia hoisted me up and stomped over to the control room. He smashed the soundproof glass that sealed it off and hammered down a big red button, and a klaxon began to wail raucously. All the coloured duos of lights on the scoreboard – red, amber, green and blue - began to flash along to the klaxon's howling. The klaxon always wails and a pair of lights always flicker whenever a swimming session is over. It was so noisy that my ears began to leak even more clear fluid. (They were still affected by Nova Scotia's loud fiddling from before.) I howled in misery, trying to bear the cacophony of light and sound.
After a short moment, the klaxon stopped wailing and the lights stopped flaring. Nova Scotia placed me on his head. I lay down and compared the shade of my skin to his ginger hair. It almost matched exactly. My skin was so burnt from the electrocution and scalding, it was as auburn as his hair colour. I clambered onto a lock of his red hair, feeling its softness and thickness. Nova Scotia tossed himself back and whipped me off his hair, making me crash-land on the glass of the ceiling, blood spilling everywhere. Nova Scotia cackled noisily, and the whole leisure centre shuddered with the echoing sound waves.
I made a 'blood angel' on the ceiling, smearing the red liquid of life all over the glass. Nova Scotia grabbed me coarsely again and placed me on the palm of his hand. He built up a huge gob of saliva in his mouth and bombed it down on me, covering me in the unhygienic stuff. Some of it seeped into my eyes, blurring my vision slightly. "Eww!" I babbled through the gooey slime. Nova Scotia huffed angrily, the speed of the exhalation powerful enough to send me flying into the big pool again. I took this as an opportunity to clean off his saliva.
Nova Scotia picked me up by a strand of my hair. "Ouch," I moaned in pain. He placed me on the palm of his hand once again, and hovered me a few centimetres away from his backside, re-draping his ribbon over his shoulders and holding onto it with his other hand. "Oh, God, what now?" I groaned miserably.
Nova Scotia let a huge one rip, a massive brown cloud of 'cocoa powder' emanating from his behind. The speed was so great that it made me soar out of the main pool area and into the changing rooms. The wind-breaking made Nova Scotia shrink back down to his normal size. Whilst he was dwindling back down, I took the chance to get away quickly by flapping my arms speedily and soaring around the leisure centre for the fifth time that night, flying around in twisting directions so that Nova Scotia would have a hard time trying to find me.
I arrived in a room with a washing machine-like implement built into the wall at the back. I assumed this was where the leisure centre staff sterilized all the swimming pool equipment, like the hoops and floating aids, to rid them of any harmful bacteria. I decided to hide inside the sterilizing machine, shutting the door.
I was lying in waiting for quite some time. I thought that meant Nova Scotia had finally lost me, and that he had probably given up on finding me again. "Oh, thank goodness," I thought to myself joyfully. "He'd never come into this room, anyway – only the leisure centre staff ever go in here." I sighed blissfully and continued to lay in hiding.
But then my ideals were shattered, because then Nova Scotia burst into the room, his orange eyes and white teeth glimmering intensely. "Oh ho ho," he guffawed, seeing me inside the machine. "You little piece of crap. You fucking fuck-head." "Oh, God, no!" I moaned despondently. He approached the machine and pounded down the 'On' button, grinning menacingly.
Clean, cool water began to fill up the machine. I felt it wash over my body. Nova Scotia adjusted the temperature, and the water began to heat up. Wet warmth began to heat up my body, and I felt balmy.
The water began to heat up a little more; it was now the temperature of a warm bath – warm enough to make interior blood rise up to the dermis, turning it a lovely rosy colour. Nova Scotia stared at me evilly, his orange eyes and white teeth making my vision bleach. The water continued to rise in temperature, and I was becoming more and more uncomfortable by the second.
Nova Scotia turned up the temperature all the way up. Suddenly, the water began to boil. The strength of the water splashing against my body created a huge, deep cut in the nape of my neck, and it began to bleed. The water turned pink with the blood. My skin began to brown from the awful heat. I had already gotten first-degree burns; did I really need second-degree ones? Nova Scotia continued to stare at me maliciously.
The water was now at scalding point. "AHHHHHHHHHHH!" I howled in agony, feeling the broiling water sear my skin and make it develop second-degree burns. Just as I feared. "NAH-AH-OWWWWWWWW!" I gargled, brushing and slipping up against the door, leaving bloody smears on it. Now the water was as red as a 'stop' traffic light. Nova Scotia threw himself back and guffawed menacingly, gaining so much pleasure from seeing me in so much anguish.
I smashed the door open, with all the boiling-hot, blood-red water splashing out all over the floor. Nova Scotia made sure to stand well back. I rushed out of the room, flapped my arms fast and began to soar around the leisure centre for the sixth time that night. Like the previous five times, I flew around in many different directions, like twisting up spaghetti strands, so that I could make Nova Scotia trying to find me a lot, lot harder.
Finally, I landed in a small warehouse, with cardboard boxes everywhere. I took cover under a pile of the things and lay in waiting, my knees brought up to my chin, and my arms surrounding them.
Unfortunately, only a few minutes later, I heard enormous, booming footsteps outside the room. "Uh oh," I moaned to myself softly. "Did he take one of those growth tablets again?" Suddenly, a huge foot broke through the walls. Then another. They both had black and white shoes and socks on them. Whose feet were those? Why, Nova Scotia's, of course.
Nova Scotia broke into the warehouse, and the walls crumbled down, leaving massive piles of rubble in their wake. I gasped in extreme shock and horror. I was right – he had taken another one of those growth tablets. This time, however, he was a lot bigger. He was absolutely GIGANTIC! He reached all the way up to the dark night sky. Nova Scotia stared down at me devilishly, his polished orange eyes and gleaming white teeth blanching my vision, making me see kaleidoscopic floaters. He had his hands on his hips, as if to display his dominance over me. I could see the crotch region of his knee-length shorts even more clearly, and I could see even more details, like crotch lines, the fabric grain, two bulges at the back of the crotch region (presumably concealing his southern pearls), and another protuberance at the front – covering his manhood. "Ugh," I flinched in disgust, seeing all the intimate minutiae of his knee-length shorts.
Nova Scotia slackened his black ribbon and draped it over his shoulders, turning his back on me. He let one rip. And a HUGE one at that. I think that puts it under the classification of a 'Halifax Explosion', don't you think? A massive cloud of 'cocoa powder' blustered over me and the pile of boxes. "Eww!" I complained. A tiny spark leaped onto one of the boxes and caused it to ignite. Soon, a blazing inferno swallowed up the whole pile of boxes. "Aaaarrrrgggghhhh!" I screamed, and rushed out of the fire as quick as I could to avoid developing third-degree burns. "Heh heh. That's only the beginning, my dear," Nova Scotia cooed. "Here. Let me serve your appetizer. Smoked salmon with mashed potato and parsley." He released a very stinky gas blast, creating another cloud of 'chocolate dust', which caused another pile of boxes to ignite and burn fiercely. The fire spread to another pile of boxes, then another, and another, and another… until the whole warehouse was ablaze. "AAAAAARRRRRGGGGGHHHHH!" I yelled even louder, beginning to sweat from the intense heat. Nova Scotia let loose a steamy, juicy wind detonation, with another cloud of 'chocolate powder' fanning the flames. The fire spread to the corridor immediately outside the warehouse (or what was left of it, anyway) and continued to rush down fiercely, swallowing up everything in its path with fervent, powerful ardour.
I dashed down the blazing corridor, but both the fire and Nova Scotia caught up with me quickly. Nova Scotia turned his back on me just as I arrived in the atrium of the leisure centre. He broke wind very loudly, making a cloud of 'cocoa powder' gust all over the atrium and causing the glass to smash into a million pieces. It rained down on me, making copious cuts in my skin. "Ouch! Ow! Yow!" I cried, bleeding all over. Nova Scotia smiled sadistically. "Now, here's your main course," he crooned. "The finest-quality lobster, blessed with extra juice, meat and flavour." He bent down slightly and let a 'Halifax Explosion' rip, creating another cloud of 'chocolate dust' and setting the desks, chairs and even electrical appliances on fire. Well, as a matter of fact, at the size he was at right now, every one of his farts was a 'Halifax Explosion' to me. The fire alarms began to ring shrilly, and flashes of electricity illuminated the burning atrium, with sparks flying everywhere. One of the sparks fell on me, giving me a short, sharp buzz. "Ow!" I wailed in pain. I brushed past the turnstiles, which by now were melting down because of the intense heat, and dashed through to the changing rooms.
Nova Scotia smashed the roof down using his giant foot. "More first-class, super-juicy, meaty and flavoursome lobster, my sweet?" he tweeted beautifully, turning his back on me and bending down slightly once again, re-draping his ribbon over his shoulders. He released another 'Halifax Explosion', a huge cloud of 'chocolate dust' emanating from his backside and turning the entire changing room into a gas chamber (oops!). I began to thrash around from the awful stench. The showers and changing cubicles bulged and cracked from the strong pressure, and eventually exploded into brown messes. The wooden benches in the middle of the room distorted and ignited themselves from the warm wind, and the plastic baby changing tables also deformed and melted down. The benches were burning hotly, and the fire spread to the rubble left behind by the broken cubicles and showers, making them catch fire too. The whole changing room was ablaze, making me sweat even more.
I ran down to the main pool area, and Nova Scotia stomped along, breaking the glass ceiling down. He stood right above me and broke wind extremely noisily, another cloud of 'chocolate powder' blasting from his behind. The water in the pools and on the slide rippled and created small waves from the deep resonance. I ran on the edge of the big pool, but because it was so slippery, I tripped up and fell in. I flailed around underwater as the waves became bigger and bigger. It was as if the wave machine had been activated – but Nova Scotia's farting had triggered it instead of the leisure centre staff. I rode one of the waves, which now reached up to the height of Nova Scotia's legs.
Nova Scotia stomped over to the spectators' area and café, and cut the cheese loudly and deeply all over them, creating another cloud of 'chocolate dust'. The chairs and tables all flew around and ignited, and the café window shattered into a trillion pieces. There was some oil left over in the frying pans inside the kitchen, so it caused a huge inferno, making oil spit everywhere. The blaze spread to the gym underneath, smashing the glass windows and setting everything ablaze – including the tennis nets and exercise equipment.
By now, the waves were tsunami-standard – about several thousand metres high. I screamed in panic as the wave I was riding crashed down into the already-broken control room. It hammered the big red button down, causing the klaxon and lights to trigger again. Nova Scotia turned his back on the main pool area and bent down a lot so his chin was at his southern region, re-draping the ribbon over his shoulders. "Now, here's your dessert…" he chirruped sweetly. "Chocolate custard topped with whipped cream and cocoa powder!" Nova Scotia let rip a 'Halifax Explosion', a huge cloud of 'chocolate dust' blustering all over the room, igniting the water slide, steel railings, children's inflatables and stereo speakers, setting them all on fire. And because this was a dream, the impossible was possible. The blaze dashed through the main pool area, ignoring nature's laws of water extinguishing fire and initiating the fire alarms.
Now, almost the entire leisure centre had been burned through, and the blaze was still raging. Since there were no roofs now, I could see the fire rushing zealously through the second-floor corridor up to the already-damaged play area. The plastic debris began to melt down, and sparks flew onto it, igniting the plastic and setting it ablaze. You know what plastic burning smells like, right? It smells HORRIBLE. Absolutely HORRIBLE – like a car's tyre burning. The awful reek, coupled with Nova Scotia's hot farting, made my eyes water, and my face was now a dark green.
Now the whole of the South Riverville Leisure Centre was aflame. It was like being in hell. A huge heatwave was making the entire place waver, and I was sweating waterfalls of perspiration. Proving that Nova Scotia's farts really were weapons of GAS destruction. Nova Scotia gazed evilly at the hellish scene, his orange eyes and white teeth glimmering from the blaze, guffawing so boisterously that some wreckage collapsed and caused the conflagration to burn even sultrier. I accidentally tripped up on the slippery floor of the main pool area and fell into the blaze. The pain and anguish was so powerful that my second-degree burns were upgraded to third-degree burns – the most severe. My skin crackled like pork belly, and it was left raw, scorched and bloody. I wailed noisily, and tears poured down my face.
I managed to get out of the fire quick as a flash, but Nova Scotia spotted me and grasped me by a skein of my hair. "Ow!" I yelped in pain. He opened up the front of his knee-length shorts and dropped me inside. I landed in front of his white panties, and I could see the figure of his southern conduit. It was completely black, and it smelled a lot of wind-breaking. "Phew-whee," I complained. Nova Scotia smiled down at me callously, and cut a stinky wind blast, a cloud of 'chocolate dust' blustering all over the fiery leisure centre, making the fire burn even more. The back of his panties blew out a lot. My vision went a light brown. "Ugh!" I grumbled louder, trying to wave away the foul-smelling air. Nova Scotia only chuckled heartily, and he retrieved me from the front of his shorts.
Nova Scotia forced open the back of his knee-length shorts and dropped me down there. I landed in front of the back of his white panties. It was completely pitch-dark again, and the smell of farting was even inferior. I could see the contour of his derriere. "Yuck!" I griped. Nova Scotia turned to look at his posterior, and smiled sadistically again. Nothing could prepare me for what happened next. Nova Scotia ripped a 'Halifax Explosion', a massive cloud of 'cocoa powder' blustering all over me and the blazing leisure centre, making the fire burn extremely passionately to the temperature of the magma inside in a volcano. My vision went a very bright brown, and some viscous brown mess splattered all over me, squelching disgustingly. I blinked my eyes rapidly for a few moments, completely covered in the treacly brown gunk, some of it dripping off me.
Suddenly, I jolted wide awake from my dream, sweating intensively and breathing heavily. I stared out for a few seconds, then I gazed into space for a few minutes, continuing to sweat and breathe greatly. It had been such a horrific nightmare! I scanned around my room. It was a bit light, because it was five in the morning and the sun was just beginning to rise, but it was still significantly dark. Then I looked down at myself. I breathed a sigh of relief. "Oh, thank goodness," I smiled blissfully. "It was only a terrible nightmare." I lay my head down on my soft, thick, comfy pillow and slept until my alarm woke me up again.
I made my breakfast, then I carried them up to my room, placing them beside my computer. I booted up my computer and loaded my game up, munching on a morsel of my bacon sandwich and sipping some of my tea.
This time, the game was in the Benjamins' living room. New Brunswick was eating some pancakes with mixed berries and maple syrup. Manitoba was writing a book on the computer. Ontario was feeding Pictou, New Glasgow, Stellarton and Fredericton. And Quebec was cleaning the kitchen. But Nova Scotia… where was he?
My question was soon answered in a matter of seconds. Nova Scotia dashed over to the sofa, fresh from having a quick, hot shower. He had already changed into his ordinary outfit - gown, kilt, double-tied ribbon, knee-length shorts, collared shirt, smart red tie, and black and white shoes and socks. He pounced onto the sofa playfully, beaming brightly. New Brunswick gasped in horror at her ex-husband. She was about to scuttle off to the bedroom, but Nova Scotia held her in place joyfully. "Here. Let me talk to you." New Brunswick shivered in trepidation, fearing what Nova Scotia was going to do to her.
Nova Scotia kneeled on the sofa beside New Brunswick. "Listen, New Brunswick," he said in a reassuring voice, grasping her hands. "I know we're divorced now. You seem to be scared of me, New Brunswick. You think that every time I enter the room, I'm going to shout at you. Don't you, New Brunswick?" New Brunswick shuddered in agreement, hanging her head to the side, looking timid. "And I heard. You've found someone else. Someone new. And I heard that you married that someone. So all hopes of us getting back together have evaporated into thin air, it seems." New Brunswick gazed sorrowfully at her ex-husband, still quaking nervously.
Nova Scotia thought for a few moments. He looked up at the ceiling, still clasping New Brunswick's hands. "So, New Brunswick…" he finally said, looking back at his ex-wife. New Brunswick gave a look of bemusement. "We may never marry again. I might not be your husband… But I'll be your friend," Nova Scotia smiled, embracing her sweetly. New Brunswick smiled and embraced him too. It was a friendly compromise between the two sea provinces. They may not have been 'the Maritime Soulmates' or 'Nova Brunswick' anymore, but it was a beneficial pact that would aid with mending their broken relations a little further.
Nova Scotia and New Brunswick continued to embrace each other amiably. Just at that moment, Nova Scotia let one rip, a cloud of 'chocolate dust' emanating from his backside. New Brunswick recoiled with repugnance, trying to fan away the stinky air. "Whoops," Nova Scotia chirped, looking at his rear. "Sorry about that." He smiled apologetically, and New Brunswick smiled too, accepting his apology. They continued to embrace each other affably. I gazed at the two provinces of Canada with delight. "Aw, they're agreeing to a peace treaty," I cooed sweetly. "How kind of him." I munched on another scrap of my bacon sandwich and sipped some more of my tea.
Nova Scotia released his grip on New Brunswick. "So, we're friends, right?" he asked, putting his hand out. "Yes," agreed New Brunswick, linking her hand with Nova Scotia's and shaking them in accord. New Brunswick went over to the bookshelf to pick up a book for a morning of reading, and Nova Scotia went out into the Benjamins' back yard to practise some songs on his guitar. I couldn't help but smile. Finally, New Brunswick and Nova Scotia were making a covenant with each other to be friends. But maybe not a married couple again.
A few weeks have passed since then. Manitoba has found a potential romance with British Columbia from Sunset City. Ontario has married his father, Canada, and he seems to be cool with it. Quebec has found someone to love from his workplace at the Riverville Genetic Research Laboratories. New Brunswick is dating Saskatchewan, and the two are getting on very well. And Nova Scotia… Well, he's still trying.
THE END!