~*~Anxiety~*~
by Hatter of Madness
Don't die.
That was the only advice Neville Longbottom offered Luna Lovegood. But honestly, what else could he say to Luna? Stop being depressed? Stop thinking no one cares about you even though nobody acts like they really don't? Stop having a panic attack and calm down?
He couldn't say anything of the sort to her.
"Just talk to me if you ever need it," was the other advice.
And boy, did she need it.
It wasn't even an hour later that she had the mental breakdown. Maybe it was the Carrows doing it. She was, after all, sick of hearing about the Dark Arts, or having the enemy's ways shoved down her throat. But somehow, she had lost all of the qualities that had made Luna...Luna.
She had sneaked out of Ravenclaw tower, imagining the caretaker's voice yelling, "Students! Out of bed!" Despite it all, she couldn't bring herself to laugh at the images of Argus Filch and the batty old feline Mrs. Norris. It was just too soon.
She threw open the door to Myrtle's bathroom, which was surprisingly empty, even for that bathroom. Not even the infamous wailing ghost was there. She crumpled on the floor, sobbing uncontrollably and shaking. If a teacher walked by, she'd receive a detention or another punishment for sure. But even that didn't matter, not when so much was so wrong in her little world of insanity, of nargles and plimpies.
It had started simple enough. A fight with someone close to her, one of only three people close to her, of course, but albeit a fight. It was a petty argument, and Luna was trying her best to get back on track.
But then she realized the anniversary of her mother's death had past, and that crushed her like a weight on her chest. The memories were slipping too fast through her shaking fingers. She had hardly anything left other than the dirigible plum earrings that had once belonged to her. Her mother.
The laugh, the long light hair, the mystical eyes, her simple fascination with anything living.
And she had been ripped from the world like a page from a book.
Luna cowered on the floor, tears overcoming her. Anyone. She would talk to anyone in that moment just to make the pain subside, to stop her from doing something she knew she would end up regretting more and more each day.
But she couldn't move. She sat almost glued to the floor, but she knew she wasn't since she was still shaking.
Neville. She could ask Neville.
If only she could get off the floor. Or know the password to the Gryffindor common room. If he was even there, which he probably was; it was after dark, after all, and students were supposed to be in bed.
She stood up on shaky feet and decided she couldn't risk it, walking back to the Ravenclaw common room. She wondered how'd she get in; she could hardly think straight, let alone answer a riddle.
And she ran right into him. Of course, he had to serve a detention that night with one of the Carrows. The look of pain in his eyes said it all. He was shocked to see her, especially in the state that she was in, but not unwelcome or uncaring. "Luna, what's wrong?" he asked in a gentle, sweet voice.
She wiped her nose on the back of her hand. She mouthed the words 'in private' and he nodded, and they quietly crept back into Myrtle's bathroom. She collapsed on the floor in a crying fit again. Neville crouched down next to her. "I know we've only talked a handful of times," she said, "but I really need help right now. I'm ready to break down and I want to do scary things to myself that I normally wouldn't dream of in a million years."
"Oh, Merlin, of course," Neville said. "It's no problem at all. What's up?" He pulled the blonde hair from her eyes.
She explained the fight quickly, glossing over the details. That part didn't matter. She explained her mother's death with more detail, then ended with, "I just feel like an awful person and no one will listen to me at the moment."
"You're not a horrible person at all."
Two hours later, they left the bathroom quietly, Luna on shaky legs and Neville quickly taking her back to Ravenclaw tower before they were caught.
"Thank you so much," she breathed, holding onto him for support.
"It's no problem at all," Neville repeated.
The bronze eagle-shaped doorknocker said, "I am one every night without light, but during the day, I make two. What am I?"
"A shadow," Luna said, and the door swung open. To show her thanks, she kissed him gently on the cheek.
That was the day that Luna and Neville became friends.
I know this is a really weird fic and AU and OOC. And I know they talked more often than I said and that they were already technically friends. Also you can take this as a Neville/Luna pairing if you want but it as a more friendship like thing. But this is actually my story from last night, it's like my cry for help. Only I was Luna and Neville was a boy I was venting to on Tumblr (part of what they said was our actual conversation). I'd really appreciate it if I could talk to someone on here about it, I'll even PM you my Tumblr link if you'd rather talk there. Please review.
- Hatter of Madness