Burnt Out Hearts
Inspired by Taylor Swift's "That's the way I loved you"
Disclaimer: I only own the plot. Hetalia characters all belong to Himaruya Hidekaz
Word count: 2288 words
Pairing: SpUK (Spain x England)
Summary: In which Scott is always right, Arthur is a (metaphorical)pyromaniac and Francis is sweet.
"You're so lucky to have him! "
"I'd love to have a boyfriend as sweet as him."
"How could you not fall in love with him immediately?"
'Why do all my friends praise Francis so much?' Arthur wondered as the lay under the willow tree in his backyard. Glancing over at his current boyfriend who was drawing, he observed the Frenchman quietly. 'He might be sensible, charming, handsome even, but he's still a frog!' he contemplated. 'I suppose I do like him, however French he is...'
Arthur was shaken out of his thoughts by Francis speaking to him. "Mon lapin? Are you awake?"
" 'Course I am. What do you want wanker?" he grumbled.
"Would you like to go out to dinner tonight? I can get reservations at the new Italian restaurant that opened up in town," Francis asked.
"Fine. What time?"
"Great! I'll come over at 6." Francis smiled brilliantly. He escorted Arthur back to the door. "See you soon, cher," Arthur scoffed at his attempts to be romantic and shut the door to head inside.
"Francy pants? That's who you're dating now?" his eldest brother and legal guardian, Scott, questioned incredulously once Arthur reached the sitting room.
At Arthur's nod, Scott sneered. "What a pussy. You and I both know the other one was better. What was his name again? The Spanish one."
"Antho- Antonio."
"That's the one! Antonio was a good one. Why'd you go and lose him?" Scott barked. "This one's a priss. Like you, huh Bunny?" he scoffed and went back to his beer.
Arthur silently trudged up to his room, not bothering to summon the energy needed to reply to Scott's words. The words didn't leave his mind however, taking up more space in his mind than he wanted them to.
Antonio...
He remembered Antonio all too well. All the harsh words they'd exchanged, all the times they'd poured their hearts out to each other, every single date, Arthur remembered them all. The sun seemed to bend to their will when they were together.
With a bittersweet smile, Arthur reached a realization that came a few months. He was, is and will always be in love with Antonio Carriedo. But it was too late. So he did what he did best.
Arthur lied to himself. He pretended he never had those thoughts. He shoved them aside and went to his room to waste time before his date with Francis.
Francis,that perfect bastard, arrived at exactly six. He was a complete gentleman the entire date. He opened all the doors for him, pulled out Arthur's chair at dinner, and even went so far as to lend him his jacket when he shivered due to the cold wind that blew across the balcony where they were seated.
Arthur had complained that Francis was treating him like a delicate girl but Francis had brushed off all his words with a single sentence, "I must care for the keeper of my heart, lest he drop it out of discomfort, non?" and Arthur didn't have the heart to tell him that he wasn't fit to keep his own heart safe, much less anyone else's.
The date was lovely as always but Arthur couldn't help reminiscing of other dates. Dates that occurred in the dead of the night with a different person.
It was a dark night and the moon was hidden behind clouds, leaving only the streetlamps to light their way. Antonio had convinced him to come to the park at midnight for a date and it had been going splendidly until Arthur noticed the very slight drizzle coming from the sky.
"We should be going home. Its going to rain." Arthur advised Antonio, staring at the sky worriedly.
"We can take our time Arturo, it's only a drizzle after all."
Mere minutes later, the skies seemed to open up and pour icy cold rain onto the two young men.
" 'It's only a drizzle after all!'" Arthur mocked his boyfriend, yelling to be heard over the downpour as they ran for shelter. "Bloody brilliant idea Anthony! Now we're soaked and stand a damn high chance of getting a cold!"
"I get it, Arturo! Shut the fuck up okay!" Antonio yelled back.
"I will not shut the fuc-"
Antonio managed to shut Arthur up by stopping him under a streetlamp and kissing the breath out of him. Arthur didn't bother resisting or complaining, kissing back instantly. When they parted both were panting and staring at the other, neither paying any mind to their drenched selves. Arthur had a dark blush on his pale face which could easily be seen under the light of the streetlamp.
Arthur's palm collided with Antonio's cheek. "Ask first you fucking Spaniard."
Antonio grabbed both of Arthur's wrists. "Why should I ask what's already mine?" Antonio muttered. His eyes had a wicked gleam to them and his smile seemed as dangerous as a knife. "You are mine!" he snarled.
Antonio pulled the Brit back in for a kiss that was almost brutal in its intensity. When Arthur managed to escape his grasp, his mouth tasted of iron. Smacking him again harshly, Arthur ran away in the direction of his home. If he'd looked back, he would've seen Antonio staring after him with a hand on his now stinging cheek and a dark but amused glint in his eyes.
Such memories were useless now, only giving him a bitter sense of nostalgia. However it was these memories that made him wonder if anyone could make him feel emotions that strongly again.
After dinner, he expected Francis to bring him straight home. Therefore Arthur was quite surprised when Francis parked his car by the side of a nearby park.
"Are we going for a stroll?" Arthur queried.
"Non." Francis turned to look at his British boyfriend in the eyes. "You seemed distracted tonight, Arthur. Is there something on your mind? I would not mind you telling me your troubles."
Arthur knew he should come clean. Francis was giving him the perfect opening. He was going to tell Francis that he was still in love with his former lover. He was going to tell Francis that he was better off finding someone else to love. He was finally going to tell Francis that his heart was with Antonio, wherever he was.
"There is nothing on my mind Francis. I'm fine, just a little tired."
But he didn't. Arthur was a selfish person and he didn't want to be alone.
Sighing, Francis didn't push him. He was obviously a little disappointed but he didn't say a word, merely smiled and drove Arthur home.
When they arrived at Arthur's house, his parents just so happened to be visiting. It was extremely awkward for Scott and Arthur whom rarely saw their parents after Scott started to high school. Thankfully their other siblings had left a long time ago.
Frustratingly, Francis was perfect at this as well. He got on with the elder Kirklands like a fangirl did with shipping. They talked until late into the night, Francis even exchanging emails with his father.
"I know I'm going back to France for a bit to visit my maman but I'll call you once I reach there. Okay Arthur?" Francis promised and placed a gentle kiss on his lips before leaving. Never noticing the false smile that Arthur had been wearing the whole night falling instantly.
Arthur sat on the couch for a bit, looking at the telly but not actually watching whatever was on it. At some point, Scott joined him with a beer as usual.
"Bleh." Scott stuck out his tongue, drawing Arthur's attention. He had a disgusted look on his face. Like he'd tasted something sour. "Isn't that Franny boy sugar sweet? Too damn sweet for you at least." Scott commented.
"What does that mean?" Arthur inquired. It wasn't like Scott to take much interest in his life.
"I know you, Bunny. You're not the type that wants to be tamed. I've been here to see all your failed relationships and you're happiest when you've got someone to fight with."
"Since when do you give a fuck about me?" Arthur snapped back, unwilling to accept Scott's words.
"Don't get cocky lad." Scott warned. He ruffled Arthur's blond hair. "I've always cared. Otherwise I would've left you for dead when mum and dad left us." He chuckled when Arthur squirmed away from his hand.
"I know you better than you do Bunny so listen. You're a pyromaniac. You like starting fires with that sharp personality of yours. But without your spark, you can't do that, can you?" Scott spoke gravely. "I want to see my little brother happy."
"How poetic Scottie." Arthur muttered sarcastically before escaping to his room.
"Cheeky bunny." Scott murmured and returned to watching the telly with his beer in hand.
Scott's words had done their job and were stuck in Arthur's head for quite a while. Looking back, he realized that they were quite accurate. The last fire he'd started had gotten out of hand and ended up burning both him and Antonio quite badly.
Groaning loudly as he sat up in bed, Arthur attempted to remember the previous night's events. He noticed that he was unclothed and there were bruises and bites all over his body and neck. When trying to leave the bed to take a shower his lower body protested and he yelped at the soreness in his arse.
Turning his head he saw Antonio laying beside him in a similar state of undress. They had done it. The line between them was dangerously blurred and it downright terrified Arthur. He realized how much he had come to like, maybe even love Antonio, how scared he was that Antonio might leave him. Could Antonio truly be trusted? They had only been together a couple of months.
All of Arthur's insecurities came rushing at him at once. Antonio woke up to Arthur screaming into a pillow in a panic. When he tried to comfort him, he was kicked away. Eventually Arthur calmed down enough to start talking normally.
"Will you please leave Anthony?" Arthur had mumbled in a soft voice.
"No Arturo. You will tell me what is going on right now." Antonio declared firmly. He tried to see Arthur's green eyes but his face was buried in the pillow and the sheets wrapped tightly around him. "Is it something I did?"
"Scared..."
"Scared? Scared of what? Me?" Antonio asked disbelievingly. "Why?" he continued when Arthur nodded.
"How can I trust you?"
"Have I ever given you a reason not to trust me?" he exclaimed exasperatedly. "I love you. I turned down a scholarship in Italy for you! Why can't you trust me?"
"You what?" gasped Arthur. His mind reeled. He was holding Antonio back! "Why would you do that?!"
"Did you hear what I said?" Antonio yelled in frustration. "Te amo Arturo! I fucking love you! Accept it!"
"No! I won't accept it!" Arthur had yelled back. "You can be so much better without me! Go to Italy, you don't need me!"
"Arturo, I want you, not Italy. If you want me to take the scholarship so bad I will, but you must come and see me off at Heathrow, otherwise we are over, comphrendre?
Arthur never did.
The fire had been so heated so much it burnt itself out. And Arthur was sure his heart couldn't take anymore. So of course he started dating soft cool Francis.
Sure his smiles didn't stir embers in his heart. His kisses would never set off fireworks in hiss belly. His love couldn't warm his cooling heart.
'But that was fine' Arthur told himself.
No it wasn't, he knew. Scott was right, Scott was always right.
He missed the way he loved Antonio and the way Antonio loved him.
When Francis broke up with him, he felt nothing anymore.
His flame had burnt out when his spark left him and it was entirely his own fucking fault.
In Italy, a certain Spaniard's smirk gradually melloweduntil it lost its spark and became an empty smile.
Both burnt out hearts keeping the same beats until all feeling fled and their once intense emotions dissolved into nothingness.