Major Dark Mage and Full Circle spoilers ahead!
Pairing: Adriane/Kara
Contains: Mild kissing in the first chapter, heavier stuff in the third chapter, but nothing explicit.
Hi everybody. I'm here with what I think is the first femslash pairing fic posted in the Avalon fandom. Correct me if I'm wrong.
This is the first of three chapters of a little Adriane/Kara fic. The second chapter was originally written around New Years as a post-Dark Mage story, but it's been revised for Full Circle. The Lorren/Zach hints in this story will be revealed and elaborated upon in a companion fic that I'll post after this one.
I revised the first chapter in mid-September 2010 and again in October, to add more buildup and realistic reasoning/motivations. I hope it's an improvement.
o-o-o-o-o-o-o
"Why do we hate each other so much?" Kara said.
Adriane looked up, startled. She and Kara had been sitting in armchairs in the manor library, sullen and silent, for the past ten minutes. The warm golden ceilings and shelves were dulled by dim grey light from the rainy skies outside, dampening any efforts to speak before that. Such had been their mood in the four days since they had returned to Earth, defeated and disgusted with themselves.
"That's not going to help us convince Emily to come back," Adriane mumbled, diverting her eyes to the rain-specked windows. "Besides, I don't hate you."
"Really?" Kara's voice rose. "Really, because you don't act it. You've never liked me and after all the stuff I've done I'd hate me too."
"Well do you hate me?"
"No," Kara slumped deeper into her seat. It's all so hopeless."I'm just angry. I'm angry at you and me and Emily and the Farimentals, the Sorceress, life maybe—I don't know. We're all screwed and we can't be angry because we'll be even morescrewed. We're nothing without Emily—without any one of us! There are always three mages. And she's our friend."
"She's freaking traumatized! She killed Ozzieand we let it happen! How can she trust us to keep her from slipping back to the dark mage and killing even more animals—or even us?"
"We have to convince her that we'll work together this time. That our friendship is stronger than the Sorceress and we won't let it get to her again."
Adriane stood up and straightened out. She walked towards Kara so quickly and with purpose that for a moment, Kara was afraid that she was going to punch her—but she didn't. Adriane sat down next to her, on the arm of her chair.
"So, Dr. Phil," Adriane's dark eyes stared into hers, her face grave by not angry. "How do we manage the one thing that we've never been able to do."
"Which is?"
"Agree. Get along."
"God, I don't know, Xena." Kara stared into space for a few seconds that felt like hours. "You don't trust me."
"Yes I do! I mean, I didn't, but now that you're not the dark mage…"
"Prove it, then. Actions, not words. How am I supposed to know that you won't be breathing down my neck the like Magical Ethics Police?"
"Hey, what about you? You hung up on me; you didn't tell me anything about your plan with Drake and the power crystal—"
"Okay, okay, so I didn't trust you either." Kara glanced at Adriane, but the other girl was turned towards the window, black hair obscuring her face. Emily's always been there, the peacemaker between us. We need her, but now she won't help…. "I guess it's both of us…. We put so much pressure on Em. She's always trying to keep us from ripping each other's throats out. She must always be worried that we'll turn on each other or screw up royally because we're too busy fighting."
"Yeah, like how we just did exactly that," Adriane laughed bitterly.
"Twice. Remember the benefit concert?"
"I—" Adriane stopped short. "Wait. Barbie, that was the last time our magic really worked together, without Emily!"
"You mean the only time, when you ripped off that locket and broke the spell—"
"—And for a second, I could see everything." Adriane turned back to her, her eyes lit up with what looked like a brilliant idea. "Everything in your head."
"What did you see?"
"Relief, 'thank you,' 'I'm sorry.'" Adriane smiled sadly. "What was I thinking?"
"Something like 'You're fighting it; it's hurting you. I have to help you.'" Kara felt tears beginning behind her eyes, but she forced them back. There's nothing more humiliating than crying in front of Adriane.
"And that's the root of mage magic—trust, friendship—that's what let our magic merge back then. Do you remember on Aldenmor, when Emily was missing and we were trying to portal-jump after her? The rope unraveled because we were fighting—our magic wouldn't stay together."
"So if we really trust each other, we can mix our magic again. And if we do that, we can see for ourselves that it's real." The pink and orange in Kara's jewel glowed brighter.
"If Emily knows that we can stand together to help her fight off the dark magic, then maybe she'll come back. Maybe she'll trust us again."
"We won't let anger and suspicion break up Team Magic anymore!" Or what's left of Team Magic, anyway. Kara buried the thought and beamed at Adriane, whose gloomy face was starting to brighten. "So…how are we going to blend magic?"
"Something really simple; no unnecessary complications."
"How about another rope?"
"Sure."
"All right!" Kara spun a pearly thread of magic from her jewel. It glowed in the fading light of the overcast sunset.
A matching golden strand appeared next to hers. Perched on the arm of Kara's chair, Adriane smiled nervously. "We'll keep these strands attached to our jewels and twist them together until they merge—start with that bit of our magic and work from there. And if it doesn't work—"
"It has to work. It will," Kara said, locking eyes with Adriane as if forcing the thought into her mind. Adriane looked away. We only get one chance, don't we? If it doesn't work, that's it. She won't buy that I trust her…and I won't buy that she trusts me either. Kara's thread of magic shuddered.
"Nervous, Barbie?"
"Absolutely."
"Me too. Here it goes."
In slow and careful sync, the two strands of magic moved closer and curled around each other. They spiraled into a double-helix, neither attracted nor repelled, and tightened until they just barely touched. So far so good.
Kara glanced at Adriane, but the other girl was fixed on the cane of magic that was now rising toward the ceiling, like a soft chandelier in the dimming library.
Ivory and gold blurred as the threads began to meld together and the definite line between them disappeared. A strange sensation shimmered at the edge of Kara's awareness. She closed her eyes. It was like she was pressing herself against a taught fabric and feeling tinges of warmth from the other side. The more she pressed, the more it gave. Seams ripped and threads broke and the heat thawed her hands that she hadn't realized were frozen. At the same time, she felt lighter than ever before, as if she was dissolving into feathers and floating away. This is it. Our auras are merging—
Everything stopped. Now she was pushing a brick wall. Opening her eyes, Kara saw that the rope was still but almost melded, the two tones barely defined. "It won't go any farther."
"Maybe we need something more. One last thing to seal it," Adriane's face and voice were unreadable as she seemed to stare up not at the rope, but through it.
"What do you mean?"
"Some final thing to prove that we really do trust each other."
"Something like the trust exercises from cheerleading? You let yourself fall back and the other person catches you."
"And then when you're thrown in the air, when it really counts, they drop you," Adriane reminded her. Kara rubbed the wrist that she'd sprained three months ago because of just that.
The strands were slowly re-forming into gold and ivory.
"Okay," Kara said. "Think fast, right now. What would you only ever do with someone you trusted? The first thing you think of."
Adriane's eyes widened and she glanced away. "I…"
"What? What is it? Lend them money? Let them borrow your stuff."
"No. Stuff and money—that doesn't mean anything…"
"Then what?" I'm just panicking and making it worse.
"I'd never kiss anyone I didn't trust."
For a moment, Kara Davies had no words at all. "Are you serious?"
"Yes, I'm serious!" Adriane glared. "That's my answer."
Kara couldn't help it. She laughed. That's ridiculous. She couldn't tell if Adriane was sincere. "You would really kiss me?"
"If that's what I had to do, sure. Why not?"
"Why not? There's a million reasons why not! As in, we don't like each other like that, we're both into other people, and oh yeah—we're both gi—"
Kara cut off as she saw the rope unraveling even faster, barely a blur left between the two strands. If this doesn't work, that's it. It's over.
"Do you have a better idea?" Adriane looked her dead in the eyes.
"No." I wouldn't kiss someone I didn't trust either, but still…. "You'd really kiss another girl?"
"Yeah, and I trust you to never mention that to anyone else," Adriane breathed deeply, as if just saying that taxed her. "Does it gross you out?"
It probably should, but... "No." It just doesn't.
More than anything, she was curious. Will she really go through with this? What else don't I know about her? I've never kissed anyone before either. What does it feel like?
The strands of magic were starting to untwist. "This better work, Xena. I can't believe I'm saying this, but hurry up before I change my mind."
"How about before our magic breaks apart?"
Adriane tentatively reached her hand to Kara's chin, drawing her face up as Adriane leaned down towards her. Her eyes widened nervously, her hand shook. Adriane hesitated; Kara didn't pull away. She felt the rope stop unraveling. This is really working.
They moved together slowly and carefully, as if defusing a bomb. Adriane's hand slid from Kara's chin to the back of her neck, resting the warm and glowing wolf stone against her skin. Kara cautiously laid a hand on Adriane's shoulder. It's just for balance. A feeling like electricity crackled through her, anticipation…and something else. As Kara's lips finally brushed against Adriane's, the foreign sensation sent a shiver through her body. Adriane must have noticed, as she started to pull back.
Kara didn't want to stop. I can't have Adriane think that I'm afraid, that I don't have the guts to go through with it. And the magic… Lightly, she pulled Adriane back and pressed their lips together. Adriane halted only for a moment before kissing her back.
Adriane doesn't hate me; she wouldn't do this if she hated me. She wouldn't kiss someone she didn't trust. Adriane drew herself closer, their thighs and chests touching, as she slid next to Kara on the wide armchair.
She felt the magic blending together again. The threads of the veil between them unraveled with ease as Kara was taken over again by that warm and light feeling.
Without warning, the last threads snapped. Kara felt herself gasp against Adriane's lips as the other girl's grip tightened.
The fire behind the veil surged into Kara's blood with a flood of Adriane's emotions—want, need, desire—that almost pushed Kara away until she realized that they mirrored her own. Her own self was swept away from her and into this other body whose aura melded with hers. The fire burned in a ring through them both: not painful, but purging them clean of all the barriers and boxes and walls that had restrained them before.
It's just the magic, she tried to assure herself. Magic screws with emotions, makes everything so intense. It feels so good while it lasts, but it's not real. It's not real.
Deep down, Kara felt a little victory as the one person who had never liked her—who had never been impressed by her—finally surrendered and gave in to trust her. I hope she doesn't see that.
If only you knew…, Adriane's thoughts wavered across the channel.
What does that me—
The fire suddenly died to a soft glow. Just like at the concert all those months ago, Kara saw Adriane's entire mind illuminated like the stage in a dark theater.
Her thoughts streamed into Kara, uninhibited. You must really trust me. I can't believe you're letting me do this. I always thought you were pretty but I never imagined this would ever happen. You want me too, but don't worry. I won't tell anyone and I know you won't either. You're right. I would've never done this if I didn't trust—
It was too much. Kara felt the magic burst apart as they broke their kiss. Her eyes flew open to see it raining down and fading like light golden embers—shattered but not separated. Their bodies were still pressed together. Adriane was shuddering and breathing heavily against her and Kara realized that she was doing the same. Her head buzzed dizzily.
It worked! She must trust me—I saw that she did, but… Immediately, guilt started churning in her stomach. What did I just do?
"It worked," Adriane whispered, echoing Kara's thoughts that she could no longer see.
Kara didn't want to look her in the eyes, but she forced herself.
"So we trust each other. We…don't hate each other," Kara mumbled. "But I…"
Adriane's face was stonily unreadable. "Magic is so weird. Emotions, it makes them stronger, twists them."
"Confuses people."
"Exactly. What it makes you feel isn't what you really feel. It's like a drug. Just so we're clear."
"Yeah, no wrong ideas about anything." In some deeply-buried place, Kara knew that Adriane was lying for her, to protect her in some roundabout way. They both knew that emotion ruled magic, not the other way around, but Kara chose not to believe it. If dark magic makes a dark mage, then powerful magic can make you have powerful feelings. It's not us; it's the magic. Right?
"And so now, we'll go find Emily and bring her back," Adriane smiled nervously.
Kara almost groaned. "What do we tell her?"
"We'll just say that we know how to work together now. Our magic doesn't clash and we won't let anything stand between us and helping her and the web."
"We won't tell her the details—"
"—Because we trust each other to never tell anyone."
"And we'll never mention it again. Deal?"
"Deal." Adriane broke eye contact.
Both stared awkwardly at the floor, afraid to look at each other or to move away. They knew that even what was left unspoken would never be forgotten.
o-o-o-o-o-o-o
I tried to keep them both as in-character as possible, considering the circumstances. I'd love for you to review, because I'm damn curious as to how well this goes over.