Callan was dead. Khadgar looked sadly down at the scene; he had never told the other youth how he had felt, now he would never have the chance.
When Khadgar looked at Lothar he saw Callan, or at least what Callan would look like if he was his father's age. The mage's heart ached, the pain still fresh. The yearning and grief pulled him towards the other man.
One night Lothar visited Khadgar to talk about something, Khadgar didn't really care at the time. When the warrior least expected it, Khadgar drew him into a heated kiss, straddling the older man's lap. They exchanged no words, but discarded their clothes and fucked until neither could go any longer.
When Lothar left Khadgar cried himself to sleep. His heart was in so much pain.
It didn't stop him from seducing Lothar into his bed the next night or the night after that. He drove himself to exhaustion, because the physical pleasure would chase the heartache away so he could sleep.
Soon he started feeling bad for using the older Lothar to forget the younger one, but it was an addiction he couldn't let go of. It was a dangerous addiction...
Khadgar was forgetting his love for the younger one and the older man was finding his way into the mage's heart. The carnal desire was transforming into a need to be with him, wanting to seek him out during the day rather than at night when they shared a bed.
"Call me Anduin…" Lothar breathed into his ear as he took the boy slowly, tenderly. He pushed himself up, taking Khadgar's legs into his hand to get a better angle. "Light… so beautiful," the warrior moaned picking up his rhythm. "Don't let me be his replacement, love me."
Khadgar arched off the bed, grabbing the sheets tightly. "Ah… Ah -Anduin...!"
Callan's memory was fading and it frightened him. When Lothar left that morning, Khadgar no longer sought the other man's affections. His heart and body ached for Anduin, so he made the decision, he had to leave. Leave Stormwind, Anduin, everyone… all the heartache behind, best to leave while the feeling was still new and avoid the heartache later.
He was just tieing the last bag up when Lothar burst through the door, one glance told the warrior what Khadgar had planned to do. Before the mage had a chance to speak he found himself pressed between the wall and Lothar. "Please…" Lothar's voice was strained, pleading. "Not you too…don't leave me too."
Khadgar's big brown eyes stared into Lothar's, seeing the swirl of emotions stirring in the ocean that was the other's eyes. He knew he couldn't leave, he wouldn't be the final straw of the man's breaking point. He was in love with Anduin. "I won't."
"Good. I would have dragged you back here if you would have left anyway." Lothar pressed his forehead to Khadgar, closing his eyes. "I love you."
Khadgar could only smile, giving the older man a chaste kiss. He would not say it back, he had only just admitted it to himself; it would be a while before he said the words out loud.
Notes
Thanks Eria for betaing once again, even though you were skeptical of the angst!
It's been a bad week and I'm under a lot of stress so here's the result!