A/N: This story is Goku/Vegeta, incase you missed that detail. This story is centered around them, and it is all about them. So if you don't like it, then don't read it. Also, this is a one-shot. I won't be continuing it, but I do hope you'll enjoy this story. I am also writing a story titled The Accident, so if you'd check that out afterwards that'd be great. I hope you like this story, I've been working on it all day. Please be sure to review. :)
Also, the inspiration for parts of this was from a song by Taylor Swift called Sad Beautiful Tragic, hence the name of the story. But as with most of my one-shots, the total inspiration did not come from the song. Those parts were just added in after I was done writing. Anyways, I hope you enjoy :)
It was a cold December night. The coldest night of the year so far. The ground was covered in ice, making every step you took crunch noisily. It was the time of year where scarves were no longer a fashion statement but to keep your neck and nose warm.
But even with all of this, Son Goku could not keep himself still. He found himself in front of the fireplace fidgeting constantly. There was a navy blue blanket with orange trimming wrapped around him. It had been knitted with obvious care and affection and with him in mind. He was freezing. There was a mug filled with hot chocolate in his hands. The sweet scent rose up, and each time it smelled better than the last time. However, he couldn't bring himself to drink the sweet hot drink. No matter how cold he was, or how good it smelled.
Goku didn't feel like moving, not an inch. Everything in his life had fallen apart, piece by piece. He thought, maybe if it all happened at once, he could've dealt with it better. At least then, he would've known to just move on, to start anew. Then he could've had a chance of moving on. But no, it all fell apart, piece by miserable piece. And it was all because of him. It was all because of Vegeta.
It all started long ago. When Cell came into the picture, almost right after the androids. Vegeta and Trunks had just gotten out of the Hyperbolic Time Chamber. They were going to go and fight the androids, but he had wanted to tell Goku something first. The younger saiyan wasn't sure what it was at the time. He thought for sure Vegeta would tell him something encouraging, demeaning, or even a little bit of both.
But Vegeta surprised him, the man did nothing of the sort. Vegeta had told Goku he had feelings for him. At the time, the saiyan prince wasn't sure what it all meant. He didn't understand what he was telling Goku, but Goku knew perfectly well what he was describing. He was telling him he felt weird in his stomach, and his heart rate would speed up whenever Goku touched him or looked at him for too long. Vegeta had told him that was why he was cold and distant with him, more so than anyone.
Since Goku knew what these feelings were, he had asked Vegeta if he felt any of those things for Bulma. Trunks had been born a few months ago. Goku figured Vegeta had to feel something for his friend if they had sex before. But they saiyan prince looked confused that Goku had asked this at all, he asked him why would he have the same feelings for his enemy as he did someone he slept with.
To Vegeta, it seemed to him that maybe the feelings were coming from his hatred of Goku. He knew Goku wasn't exactly the type of person to hate someone, but he wanted to know if Goku or maybe someone he knew felt that way about someone they hated. Vegeta never heard of anyone describing those type of feelings for someone they hated, but that was the only emotion he had for Goku.
When Vegeta asked him this, Goku had told him he didn't know anyone who hated someone with those kind of feelings. Goku wasn't sure what to say when the saiyan prince got quiet. He was staring down at the floor in anger. Goku wasn't sure what he felt for Vegeta, but he wanted to help the man understand the feelings, no less.
He slowly walked closer to Vegeta. Vegeta looked up at him in confusion, even so he was still scowling. Angry, at Goku, as if this was all his fault. Goku didn't mind though. In fact, he thought it was kind of funny that the prince would blame him, when he should be blaming his own heart. Once Goku got close enough, he wrapped his arms around Vegeta's waist pulling him closer.
Vegeta was just about to push him away and beat him into a bloody pulp, when Goku asked him how he felt now. Vegeta let the younger saiyan hold him as he began to think about, to focus more on his body. His heart was beating very quickly, his cheeks had heated up, and he had this insane urge to wrap his arms back around Goku.
When Vegeta told him this, minus the part about wanting to return the gesture, Goku told him it was okay to wrap his arms around him as well. Vegeta didn't want to do it, but his body was quick to react to the invitation. Goku chuckled. He looked down at Vegeta and planted a kiss on the man's forehead. Then a peck on his lips. Vegeta seemed completely shocked unable to move at all. And then his arms tightened around Goku more, and he told the younger saiyan, he felt warm inside, for the first time in years.
Goku kissed his forehead once more before pulling away. Vegeta asked him once again, what it all meant. Goku only smiled and told the saiyan prince he'd have to figure it out for himself. After that, he went into the time chamber with Gohan to train, after waving good luck and goodbye to Vegeta as he took off to try and defeat Cell and the androids.
Vegeta and Goku hadn't mentioned the older saiyan's feelings at all after that. Not when Goku and Gohan got out of the time chamber, not when there was a week of peace, and most certainly not when the Cell Games were going on. And then Goku died, and there wasn't anymore time to talk about any of it. Vegeta didn't know what those feelings were at the time, but he knew what they were when Goku said he wasn't coming back anymore. Because he felt it, loss. He felt the hole in his heart where his dead race of people would always be, now had company. There was another hole now, a hole for Goku. The man he loved.
When news arrived that Goku would be coming back for a day, Vegeta got off his ass and started training again. Before he had felt empty inside, not knowing why he should do anything else but lay in bed all day and watch TV. But when the news came about Goku, it was like he had been awoken from a deep slumber.
Suddenly, he had the drive to live again, to train again, to socialize with his family again. He felt alive, just a little bit. He knew Goku would have to leave after 24 hours, but he didn't want to think about that. So he didn't. He focused on nothing, but the thought of Goku coming back. He wouldn't even let the thought of him leaving so soon afterwards enter his mind. If he did, he knew he'd go right back to that bed, and he didn't want to.
He wanted to beat Goku when he finally came back, and then he wanted to kiss him. Because he wanted to feel his lips, and he wished he would've cherished the kiss more. Had he known they had no time, that it would've been the last time. He would've cherished the moment and the kiss. But he hadn't, in fact the entire time afterwards he'd been trying to forget the moment entirely. Then Goku died, and he was trying to memorize everything about the memory. But by then, it had mostly faded away, because he had tried so hard to push it away.
He remembered how much he had cried that night, when Goku died. He kept having to act as if he didn't care, but everyone saw right through him, like glass. They treated him like that too, like glass. As if he were fragile, and the slightest thing could break him. But he couldn't be angry at them, no matter how much he acted like he was, because he felt that way too.
When Goku finally did come back, everything was a disaster. He almost didn't even get his fight with Goku, until he went Majin. Goku seemed so angry but mostly disappointed. They fought a long time that day, and then when Vegeta had used the ki rings to pin Goku against the wall, the saiyan prince did the last thing Goku had expected. He kissed him.
Vegeta had kissed him! Goku eyes were wide, but he eventually closed them and relaxed into the kiss. Afterwards Vegeta started to cry, he wasn't sobbing not by a long shot. In fact, only one tear had even managed to escape. But his eyes stayed full of tears as he told Goku how much he had missed, and how he just wanted to kiss him over and over, and he couldn't understand why. He couldn't understand why he loved him. He couldn't understand when the hate turned into something else.
Goku only smiled and kissed the saiyan prince again. He let his Super Saiyan transformation go as he did so. He hair turned back to black, sticking out in every direction as it normally did. Vegeta eventually let his go too. He ripped the ki rings off of Goku, and the larger saiyan tackled him to the ground kissing his neck and making his way down. Vegeta promised himself, he'd remember this moment, and he'd cherish it.
Afterwards, Vegeta used his ki to warm the now nude Goku laying next to him. The earthling raised Saiyan didn't realize it at the time, but the warmth from the ki and the soothing rubbing motion of Vegeta's hand on his back, weren't for his comfort. They were so he'd fall asleep, and he had. Then Vegeta left. He went to face Majin Buu all on his own. And he died.
It was up to Goten and Trunks then. They were tasked with stopping Majin Buu. After teaching Piccolo the fusion technique, so the Namekian could teach it to them Goku had to leave again. He said goodbye to everyone, some of them crying as he waved.
Then Goku got to meet up with Vegeta again. Nothing happened this time, no kisses, they didn't even talk about what happened. Vegeta counted himself lucky that Goku would even speak to him after all the saiyan prince had done. He wasn't going to push it by demanding affection.
After everything was done, Goku got to stay, and everyone who died was revived. It all turned out fine, until Vegeta and Goku decided to go and train a year later. The training had ended in them having an affair once again, and this time they didn't rush off anywhere else. This time they had to talk about it. Vegeta had asked Goku to be with him, and that was when the first piece of Goku's life had fell.
Goku had readily agreed, but he had misunderstood, what Vegeta meant. He said goodbye to his family, telling his children they could come visit whenever, and that he'd visit them too. But Vegeta had done none of the sort, in fact he hadn't told his family anything. So when Goku arrived with his bags asking if Vegeta was ready to go, and Vegeta explained that he wasn't leaving. Goku got really angry. They had a huge fight, and it was all over before it really even began. And that was when the second piece of Goku's life fell.
When Goku's friends had found out about everything most of them had stopped coming around, and they stopped calling. They felt he was wrong to just up and leave his family for someone as cold as Vegeta. They didn't see how he could even want to trade his beautiful family for the cold-hearted warrior, who to them, had obviously done nothing but use him.
Krillin even went so far as to say, "And look, he didn't even try do the same for you. Did you ever think, that maybe since he couldn't beat you physically, that he decided to beat you emotionally? That's your problem Goku. You're too trusting." Goku yelled at him to leave after that, and then he cried all night in fear that the short bald man was right, about everything. That was the third and final piece of his life that fell, it was all broken now. Sometimes he couldn't help but wish he'd just stayed dead.
Goku had been staying with Piccolo, the only friend he had who didn't leave him. Piccolo didn't really care all that much about anyone but Gohan, so as long as Goku never abandoned his own son, which he never would, he knew Piccolo would always be a friend.
Piccolo just lived on an old spaceship, but it was a lot better than living in the forest. That's where he was now, in the spaceship, in front of a fireplace that had been built inside of it. Since it was no longer being used for space travel, it was a nice idea to put a fireplace inside.
It was no doubt probably added since Gohan loved to read in front of them. There were also bookshelves all over filled with books. In his pantry there were cans of chef boyardee and other foods Gohan loved that wouldn't spoil if not eaten within a week. It was amazing all the things the Namekian had in his home just for Gohan.
"If you don't drink it, it's going to get cold, Goku." Piccolo reminded him. Goku only stared at the hot drink not even trying to sip it. Piccolo sighed, going into his bedroom, not wanting to watch the once proud man, crumble.
Goku put the hot chocolate on the ground. He removed the blanket from his shoulders, his wife had knitted it for him on his birthday, around the time when Gohan was just 3 years old. He walked over to the door, throwing it open. Cold air rushed inside making him shiver even more. He quickly closed the door behind him as he stepped outside.
"I knew I felt something." Goku said quietly. He was looking out over the landscape of short grass and tall trees. From behind one of the trees, stepped out Vegeta. He frowned down at the man from on top of the retractable stairs of the spaceship. "What do you want Vegeta?" He asked the saiyan prince.
"You. I've always wanted you, you know that. You knew that, before even I did, and I'm- I'm sorry Kakarot." Vegeta explained. He was looking down, at the frozen grass beneath his feet. Goku could tell how sorry he was, and how much he meant it. He could tell he wanted to fix it all, and how hard he'd be willing to work to do so. But Goku felt nothing by his words, maybe contempt, but that was about it. He chuckled humorlessly. Vegeta looked confused at first, but his confusion quickly turned into anger. "What's so funny?" He asked, his fists already clenching. Same old Vegeta, Goku thought.
"Words." Goku said vaguely.
"What?" Vegeta questioned clearly irritated. He hadn't expected this to be very hard. He thought he would just come here, and Goku would jump into his arms. The younger saiyan didn't have anyone else really, so why wouldn't he take what he could get? Vegeta couldn't help but wonder why they were even still out in the cold and not inside fucking each other's brains out.
"How little they mean, when they're a little too late." Goku explained.
"I don't-"
"Vegeta I came to your door, and I asked you to come with me. That was 6 months ago. 6 months ago, that you rejected me, even after I gave up everything for you." Goku said angrily, his own fists clenched. His brows knitted and glaring daggers at Vegeta. Because this was, all his fault. If it weren't Vegeta, he'd have his family. If it weren't for Vegeta, he'd be in his own home right now. If it weren't for Vegeta, he wouldn't have all these feelings. And most of all, if it weren't for Vegeta, they could've been together. "I waited for you to come back, to admit you made a mistake. I waited for a such a long time, and I hoped and prayed you'd come back to me. I was so stupid." He laughed again. That humorless laugh, that cut Vegeta deep. He'd never seen Goku so bitter and hurt. And he'd done this. He wondered if he could even fix all the damage he'd done to the once happy and proud man standing above him on the top of the stairs. "You came to me first. You came to me with all these feelings. So I just didn't understand…" Goku's eyes welled up with tears. Vegeta took a step forward, wanting to go and comfort him, but Goku put his hand up stopping him. "How you could not feel the same way I did?" Goku questioned hurt.
Vegeta found himself speechless. He didn't know what to say. When he came here, he hadn't expected things to go the way they had. He thought he'd come here, and Goku would jump into his arms. He thought the younger saiyan would kiss him all over the face saying how much he missed him, and how glad he was he came. He wasn't prepared for any of this, and it showed.
"Nothing to say, huh?" Goku asked. Vegeta opened his mouth, then closed it again. Goku smiled sadly at the saiyan prince. "That's alright. I understand. I'm going to go inside now. I'm going to pack my things, and I'm going to beg Chi-Chi to take me back." His smile faded away, and it was replaced with a soft frown. He looked defeated. He looked down, away from the prince, in favor of looking at a single white flower in the grass. "I was stupid to leave her for you. I was stupid to think this was going to go anywhere. I was stupid to think, that you'd ever give up your comfortable life for roughing it out here with me. And I was so stupid, so very stupid to think that you could've ever loved me." He shook his head. The sad smile returning. Looking at that sad defeated smile, it felt like broke something inside the saiyan prince. He wasn't sure what, but he doubted it could ever be fixed. "But it's over now, Vegeta. You win. You defeated me in the best way possible. Good on you, you used the stupid third class saiyan's idiotic feelings against him. Good on you." A tear left his eyes as he turned away from him. He opened the door about to do exactly as he had told Vegeta.
"Kakarot wait," Vegeta flew up onto the stairs to stand behind him. He grabbed his wrist. "Please don't go. I'm sorry." Vegeta said. He gently brought Goku closer to him. Vegeta wrapped his arms around him from behind. Letting his head rest on Goku's back, he could feel tears sliding down his own cheeks. "Please don't leave me." He asked of him, lifting his head to kiss the back of Goku's neck.
"We had a beautiful tragic love affair. And as amazing as it was, I think it's time we leave it here." Goku said. He didn't sound angry, just tired. Tired of all of it. Tired of fighting for someone he just couldn't have. He gently started to pry off Vegeta's arms. "Kakarot don't-" but he already had. Goku stepped away from the prince. And went inside, softly closing the door behind him.
Vegeta slid down onto the floor, his back against the door. "I'm sorry, Kakarot. I didn't mean to break you, to break everything. It's just- everything I touch seems to end up that way." Vegeta whispered. But Goku wasn't listening anymore. He had poured out the now cold hot chocolate, and he was in his room, packing his things.
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