My Wutaian Prince

By: Strange and Intoxicating -rsa-

Author Notes: Yes, this is in fact a threesome fic, with a polyamorous relationship. The ship in question? Vincent/Cloud/Yuffie. I've been dying to write one of these for a while, and I finally decided to just out and do it. It's a bit uncomfortable, considering I mostly write yaoi, and I've never really done a fic from Yuffie's perspective, but I think I did a decent job. So, I guess that would be it.

Disclaimer: I, Strange and Intoxicating -rsa-, do not own, think I own, or will ever own Final Fantasy VII or its compilations. If I did, damn it you would have known.

My Wutaian Prince

My father used to say that when I grew up I'd get my Wutaian Prince. He said that this prince would be the face of all of Wutai, and that our marriage would strengthen the bonds of the people to its royalty. I didn't particularly care then about all that crap; my dad said he was going to be absolutely gorgeous to look at and would have all the materia the White Rose of Wutai would ever need, and that was good enough for me. Pretty and materia-savvy. Nothing beats that combo, ever.

But I didn't get my Wutaian Prince. Instead I got two emotionally trashed guys who would have probably jumped off a cliff if it hadn't been for me bringing us all together. Neither of them were Wutaian, either. Go figure. At least they had decent materia, though Shiva knows Cloud would never let me play with his Alexander summons. Something about me touching it would burn because of Alexander's elemental... or something. Vincent doesn't like letting me touch his materia sometimes, so I end up stealing it after a nice night of holding one another and being wrapped in their arms, their legs, their hair-- at least on Vinny's part.

Wutaian prince my butt. I got them instead.

Godo didn't like it one bit; probably the reason it took me almost two years to admit it to him that no, I wasn't going to be coming home to marry Lord Kumara because I was already in love and got my materia, thanks. Kumara wasn't an ugly guy and after the gang helped me take out Sephiroth, that good-for-nothing jerk who tried using my materia (who cares if Cloud won't let me touch it and it's locked away in the attic? What's theirs is mine, that's how relationships go!) to take out half the world, he made himself even more rich by finding some gold-mine of materia in the caves down south, near the beach. But Kumara wasn't my Vinny and Cloudy, that's for sure. He was a little too stuck up and didn't know how to fight, at all.

How was he supposed to help me if he couldn't even fire an effing weapon? Really, not a great idea on my dad's side, was it? I'm a treasure hunter, an explorer, dammit, and I want to go searching for materia on occasion. Vinny and Cloudy let me drag them off whenever Edge gets too boring, even though sometimes we have to tell Reeve to shove it and Rufus that he can wait for his next shipment until I'm satisfied.

I don't get to see them enough. That's probably my biggest peeve with being in this twisted relationship with them. I figured it'd be hard to see them sometimes, since Vincent and Cloud both still had to work (we can't all live off of my thei--er, borrowing skills) and it took them far away, to different parts of the world. Sometimes I'd get so angry I could kill 'em for leaving, but when they're both back, and we're just eating dinner or watching some television (or in our room, exploring each other with lips and tongue and Leviathan, man do I miss them when that's gone) I remember why we decided to be together in the first place.

They can't die, I don't think. That's probably one of the worst things about this entire situation, worse than the fact that I can't have them all to myself whenever I want--I'm not immortal; I'm just a ninja girl who's getting older and they're not even aging. I'll get my gray hairs and then what? They'll still be perfect and stuck in those bodies. I don't think they are looking forward to that, living on while everyone around them is dying, but I think I may have helped, at least a little with their suffering.

You see, I wasn't supposed to find them wallowing in their own personal deary-weary hell. I was supposed to go marry my Wutaian Prince and let them live out their lives by doing nothing but killing and protecting, killing and crying and breaking themselves down so that they weren't even human anymore. I think it would have ended with Vincent putting his gun to his mouth, seeing if maybe he could finish the job Hojo started, or Cloud taking a dive from Zack's spot on that hill. They had no one, not anymore.

Until I came along and dragged their sorry butts back to life. Me, strong Wutaian ninja princess, kicked their asses to kingdom come, and now look at them! I did a good job, I think.

I was tired of watching their faces become more gaunt, the black ringing their eyes and Vincent went out on another mission for Reeve, or Cloud getting into another fight with Tifa and spending another night in the church, and then going on another delivery that would take a little too long for anyone's comfort. I didn't like watching them try to kill themselves and not succeeding. So very, very tired.

I did what I had to do. That makes it all sound a little forboding, but really, it wasn't that bad. Except for having them both tell me I was being a silly little girl, with silly dreams, and silly promises wouldn't be of any use for them.

So I tracked them down and kidnapped them.

Well, sort of.

I probably should have remembered that kidnapping two guys with super serious strength and aiming capabilities (Yeah, thanks Vincent, for nearly shooting me in the face!) wasn't a great idea, and that by doing so I would probably bring down an apocalypse on myself. Well, oops. The first try didn't work so well, but by the second, when the guys were actually on a mission together, I tip-toed into their camp at two in the morning, bada-bing, bada-bam. A little magic here, a kick to the shin there, and I had them all tied up and staring at me, placatingly.

Okay, that's a big ol' lie.

They kinda tied me up.

Now, when I think about it and bring it up, they smile at me. I ask if we can reenact the scene, because sex with a little rope and a few magic spells was really fun, if a little messy. But messy sex is awesome sex, and I really can't recall every place Vincent touched me, or how Cloud moaned when Vincent licked his neck, or how I wrapped my hands in Cloud's hair when he came inside of me, or Vincent inside of him.

We're quite the kinky group, aren't we? But I think that's a good thing--gives us something to do with all of our time. I love them for it, and I know they love me, too. That kind of love can't be faked, not even with awesomely sexy sex in the middle of a forest.

If a girl screams in passion in the middle of a quiet forest, can anyone hear her? Oh, yeah. I think that the world crumbled a little and my dad probably had to cover his ears and yell something like "What in the name of Wutai is that girl doing?"

But, that wasn't the point of me talking to you about this. I wanted to explain it to you, so that you'd understand.

I love them, and I think I helped them see that even surrounded by death there's a little hope in the world. It's been almost four years since you left, and it's been almost two since Vinny and Cloudy have been staying up at night watching television with me and holding my hand, one on each side. Sometimes I think I'm spoiled. How did I get these two crazy, emotionally disturbed, but vastly loving and devoted guys? Even with all of their issues, and let me mention there are a lot of them... I sometimes stay up all night holding them because I know if they didn't have me they'd be all sorts of screwed up.

It's not me being full of myself (like that's even possible, right?) but honest. When we first started this screwed up, but so tender relationship, I think they were on the brink. I helped pull 'em back. I think you would have done the same. They needed a rock, and I became that. I did them good, and they did the same to me. I'm not the same ninja girl you knew, not anymore. Things changed, situations changed, people changed.

I'm older now. Twenty-one in a month, and that due-date for marriage is getting pr-eeetty close. I told my dad no-way, no-how, was I marrying that Wutaian Prince he picked out. It was a brutal battle, one that I'm happy to say I totally kicked ass in. We broke a couple antiques (well, okay, I was the one to throw the damn vase at him, but he was the one whose head was hard enough to break it,) but it was worth it. I won; aren't you proud of me? I think you are. You haven't tried anything yet, so I just have to take that and accept it for what it is.

I've grown up. I even think I've got my first grey hair, though Vincent says that I was being melodramatic when I had him and Cloud go through my hair with a comb, checking places I couldn't see. They did it, though. Smiling, too. I like it when they smile, when they're not serious for ten seconds. Vincent's eyes sparkle when he smiles, and you know Cloud... it's like his entire face lights up. It's one of the best sights ever.

So, I ended up telling dad about my fucked up relationship with two emotastic guys-- a wannabe SOLDIER and a guy who's as old as he is. His face turned an ashy color for a second, and I had to make sure he wasn't dead because he got so very still. But he knows that they're good guys, and so I got off scot-free. Ish. I still had to explain to the Wutaian Prince that I was happily in love with two guys, and that he'd have to find some other girly to marry and have his babies with. This Yuffie is busy with her boys, making sure that they don't jump off cliffs or shoot themselves, even though I know they wouldn't do that anymore.

We had to tell the others, too. I think everyone took it decently well. Cid cracked some joke about a Yuffie sandwich and then gave me some sort of half-pat, half-hug, and said that Shera wanted him to make sure that I knew how to cook so I didn't starve both of my guys. Asshole. I know how to cook, thank-you-very-much!

Barret wasn't exactly happy, because he had to explain to the little shrimp why a girl and two boys were together, but more specifically why Vincent--who was totally a guy-- and Cloud--who was also a guy-- were holding each other's hands under the table. I think that was probably a bit more awkward for Barret than me going "Surprise! I'm in a relationship with these two fellas and we have kinky sex with each other!" Barret didn't seem to think any differently of us, which is a good thing. Our fluffy marshmallow not wanting us around would have killed me. Marlene was fine with it in the end, and demanded that if we all ever got married that she was gunna be the flower girl, no question. She then spent the rest of the night sitting on Vincent's lap, playing with a few marbles that she said were pretend materia. Denzel didn't talk to Cloud for a while, which was a little unnerving, but it all worked out once Tifa... well. Yeah. Tifa. But I'll explain that in a minute. He's okay, now. That's all that matters.

Reeve was there, too, in the bar, drinking with Rufus and the Turks. They looked at us oddly, and Reno mentioned that he should have screwed me when he had the chance (Elena smacked him and Rude grunted something that made Reno choke his liquor all over the table.) Tseng didn't seem to care very much, as he was a little too busy keeping Reno from dying on Tifa's property, and Reeve said that he'd just have to make sure that Vincent got the weekends off to spend with his family, and then goaded Rufus, who was sloshed off his face, to do the same.

Have you ever seen a sloshed Rufus? It's the funniest thing ever, because when he tries to do his little hair flip he poked himself in the eye. Talk about bad hand-eye coordination, right?

Nanaki hadn't been there, sadly, so we had to go traveling over to Cosmo Canyon one week to find him. I think he appreciated knowing that two people who were so very different from other humans would be able to find love. We knew he had given up his search for someone of his own kind when Cloud found Dinne in a lab somewhere near Mideel, and now he finally understood what it felt like to going from alone, the last of your kind, to having someone to spend your life with.

He also offered me his mother's comb. Dinne wanted to keep her family's one, and he thought that I would like it. I'll be honest; I cried like a little baby when he did it. Who'd think to give their family treasures to me? It could have been that he was worried I'd steal it otherwise, but I really don't think so. I think it was because while we were doing our traveling to the Crater for me to kick Sephiroth's butt, that we grew close. I know he wanted to give it to you, because he cared for you so much more. I'll get to that in a second, though.

I was worried the most about Tifa. I knew that she loved Cloud, and that's probably why I told her first, alone. I didn't want Cloud to be there, because I didn't want to make it seem like I was taunting her, sticking my fingers in my ears and wagging my tongue at her. That's not what princesses do, right? So, instead, after our little forest incident (I made sure I hid the rope burn, because that would have been really bad for her to see) I sat her down in the back room and I told her. I was gentle, too. I think you would have been proud of me, not being my usual brash and obnoxious self. She'd handled so damn much that hurting her was the last thing I wanted.

I knew that Cloud had been avoiding her since Sephiroth tried to destroy the planet--yet again. (Could you relay a message and tell him he's got to effing quit it already?) I knew that they tried to have a thing, and that in some weird way Cloud felt a bit obligated to make sure that Tifa was happy and healthy and had someone to love. I think he was guilty for a while when I told her. He refused to go to the bar for a couple weeks after, and when he came home to Vincent's apartment there were red rings around his eyes and a palm-print on his cheek. He probably tried to apologize and Tifa gave him what he deserved.

She said as much to me, later on.

I told her, and at first she became really steely, and I was hoping that she wouldn't kick out the bar stool and lay be down on my ass. That lady can punch like an effing boxer, and it hurts. Her eyes got really bright, and I was already beginning to come up with ways of wincing and preparing for how I'd explain why there's a hole in the floor to anyone who asked, but she didn't do that. I don't think I really got Tifa until then.

She stood up and reached out for me, pulling me off my chair and crushing me into a hug. I felt her heartbeat on my cheek, and there were tears dripping into my hair, and even though I was only about two inches shorter than her she was holding me like a baby and I never think I'll ever feel that way again. It was like my mom holding me, or you. She was sad; I could feel that much, but she held onto me and cried, and I cried a little, and she told me that I needed to take care of them both. That I needed to make sure they were happy, that I made sure they were loved.

I never did get Tifa, but I knew then. Even when her heart was breaking she understood that someone was going to take care of Cloud. She loved him, but was willing to accept that she couldn't do it--that Cloud didn't want her to waste any more of her life waiting for him when he wouldn't be able to come to her.

She must have given Vincent the same talk, because he disappeared for a few days when Cloud and I went to Gongaga to give Zack's parents his dogchains. We found them over in Nibelheim, where we spent some time. It was my suggestion, to go and face all of our old fears, our old loves, our tragedies. We need to move on, right?

He came back before we went to the cave, and we laid some flowers for Lucrecia. I remember how he looked when he said goodbye, even though he didn't open his mouth once. With Vincent you have to understand his heart more than his voice. He asked to be alone with Cloud for a little while, and so I stayed in the tomb, just looking at the lady that still haunted my Vinny's dreams.

She was really pretty. I like to think that's why Sephiroth was so damn good-looking, because there's no way he got it from Hojo... (I began to question whether or not Hojo was really the father when Vincent so tenderly touched the mako crystal, like he was really touching her face... something happened, and I'm not even jealous of her, because I know exactly how that hand feels. Got to accept that their hearts are filled with their own secrets and their own treasured memories, and though they're mine to hold, to treasure now, I can't make them forget about everyone else.)

But I sat there and I looked at Lucrecia and I could almost feel that she was asking me to take care of him, to love him and care for him, like Tifa did.

I found them outside a little later, Cloud's head resting in Vincent's lap, and I wanted to just watch them for a little while, not in a creepy stalker way, though. I just wanted to see them be peaceful, that serene calm that I always associated with tender gooey love.

We came here, next. That was a long time ago, and I know you remember it. Cloud didn't want to cry, and neither did Vincent, but I did all the crying in the world for all three of us. I just sat here and touched the rock and pebbles, then the pretty crystal glass and cried. I think I could have drowned the entire Forgotten City with those tears.

I'm not crying right now, though. It's time to move on from those tears, yeah? I can almost see you swishing around with that pretty pink dress scolding me for being such a wimp. But you'd smile and help me up, wipe away my tears and tell me to go get my boys and give them big ol' kisses. I'd laugh and talk to you about some of the awesome things we've done, and you'd smile and ask how the sex was. It's good, you know. Really, really good.

Oh, yeah. I've left Nanaki's comb here, for you. I think that the Promised Land will get it, and you may want to wear it when you decide to tie the knot with that hunky SOLDIER of yours. If you can get married, but it's the Promised Land--anything goes, right? I'm sure you're happy, and living your eternity with the guy you love.

I kinda wish I can do that with Cloud and Vincent, though. My guys... they'll live forever, won't they? I've been thinking about tossing myself into some mako pool, seeing if I can become immortal so that they won't miss me, but I think that when I'm gone they'll still have each other. They wouldn't have had even that if not for me. Yeah, I know. Gotta stop my head from getting big, but really... Eternity can only last so long, right? Even though I'll be going first, I think that they'll know I'm still there, still with 'em and junk.

My dad told me that I still need to get hitched, so that's why I'm here, really. I wanted to tell you, leave the invitation here with the flowers and the comb. We're going to send out the others in a little while, but we wanted to give it to you first. Vincent wants to go to Lucrecia's cave next, and then we're gunna hit Edge.

What do I do with these? Do I put them in the water or leave them on the edge?

Neh, I never was good at picking, so I'll just put them here, and when you want them you can summon up a big wave of water and stuff. I think it's time I get moving, anyway. Got a wedding to plan and make sure my dad doesn't screw it up all kinds. Princess Yuffie--the White Rose of Wutai has to have the most awesome wedding ever. I keep telling my dad that I don't care about anything but the cake--and damn is it going to be an effing awesome cake-- and I have Tifa and Elena helping me out with all the other stuff. The little squirt gets to be flower-girl, after all. I've been trying to get Denzel, our little munchkin boy, to wear the common Wutaian robes so he can be the ring-bearer, but I don't think he likes the idea of wearing a dress very much.

But yeah...

I came here because it's quiet and peaceful, and I know you'd understand. Plus I'm trying to avoid writing out all those invitations. The guys are outside, in Bone Village writing some of them up. Well, I have Vincent writing them because Cloud's handwriting looks like a chocobo mauled a pen, but I have Cloud licking all of the envelopes. That's good enough for me.

I got my princes, even though none of them are Wutaian. Funny that, right?

Oh, and hey--can you tell my mom to come, too? It'd be nice to feel you two there. Lucrecia, Zack, Cloud's mom and Sephiroth can come too, but only if Sephiroth promises not to screw anything up. I'll totally kick his butt if anything goes wrong, ghost or otherwise.

So, what do you think?

Please Review!