I have no idea why I started this, it was just a boring day at work and the idea popped into my head during a free period... So here it is. :)

Don't sue - I don't own them and I own a student teacher's salary. Which isn't much! :p

Chapter 1.

Seattle.

It was raining. Which was good in a way. The rain had a way of washing everything away. Memories, feelings, hurt, pain. Everything.

Rain could clear everything up.

"Carlisle?"

Alice's small voice shook him out of his reverie and he looked down at the sad golden eyes next to him. Of course, he was not the only one to lose a mate. Alice had lost Jasper as well. Jasper who had given his life for her.

It ached in Carlisle – the fact that he was unable to do just that for Esme.

"Carlisle, is it ever going to stop… hurting?"

Carlisle sighed, shaking his head slowly.

"I don't know, Alice. I wish I did, but…"

A lot of things had changed over the past few decades. After the fight with the newborns, Edward had decided that changing Bella would be for the best.

It was what he should have done a long time ago.

Carlisle grimaced.

If he had…

The bitterness threatened to overtake him and he shook it off quickly. The memories were fading. He could no longer remember the exact shade of Esme's hair or the sound of her voice.

It had been too long.

Surely Alice felt the same.

"Do you still… do you still remember him?"

Alice understood what he meant and she shook her head slowly.

"Not as well as I would have liked. Carlisle, coming back here… do you think it's a good idea?"

He sighed, taking in the world around him.

"We're not going to Forks, Alice."

"But Seattle… it's close enough."

"I know."

He never wanted to come back, but the job offer was something he needed. Their time in Alaska was coming to a close and when he saw the ad for a Trauma surgeon, he had to apply. Luckily, he had more than enough time to qualify as a surgeon – in various specialties.

He preferred operating as a general practitioner to be honest – it was less risky for someone like him. But he needed something different and perhaps surgery would offer just that.

"Who… is… that?"

Izzie Stevens stared at the blonde man, dressed in a suit and white coat, her blue eyes glazing over with lust. Meredith joined her friend, her eyes moving over him slowly.

"That… is the new attending. In Dr. Hartford's place."

"He… so needs a McName."

Meredith nodded in agreement and both girls turned when they heard Cristina's voice behind them.

"What are you looking at?"

It was Izzie who answered, already turning back towards Carlisle.

"The new Trauma surgeon."

"Why are you… oh wow!"

"I know!"

Cristina leaned forward slightly, her eyes following his every movement.

"I have absolutely no words to describe how gorgeous he is."

Izzie nodded, unable to look away.

"I have to get in on one of his cases. I don't care how boring it is!"

Meredith laughed softly.

"Iz. He's a trauma surgeon. I don't think he's going to have boring cases."

"What's his name?"

Once again it was Meredith who answered.

"Dr. Cullen."

"How do you know everything?"

"I overheard him talking to Dr. Webber. You should hear his voice!"

They sighed together, eyes glued to him as he walked in their direction.

"I'm Doctor Cullen. I believe… one of you should be my intern for the day."

All three girls clutched at the desk instantly – it was all they could do not to sink to the floor. Cristina was the first to regain her self-control, her hand shooting up in the air.

"Cristina Yang, Dr. Cullen. I'll be your intern today."

Carlisle smiled at her politely, nodding.

"Very well. Follow me."

She rushed after him, ignoring the murderous looks from Meredith and Izzie. Carlisle slowed his pace to match hers, his voice soft and calming.

He answered all of her questions about Trauma surgery with a small smile, coming to a sudden stop when a soft sound attracted his attention.

"You don't need to follow me around all day, Dr. Yang. You're free to go and work in the Pit… or wherever you choose. I'll page you when something comes up."
Cristina sighed, nodding at him curtly before she sprinted off. Carlisle breathed a sigh of relief – not any intern would be so easy to get rid of and he could have sworn…

There it was again!

The soft whimper coming from behind the closet door would have been impossible for an ordinary human being to hear, but of course he was no ordinary human being. He stepped forward, opening the closet slowly.

The first thing he saw was a mass of red hair.

Carlisle closed the door behind him, moving towards the trembling body carefully. Addison looked up at the sound of the door closing, wiping over her face embarrassed.

"Sorry. I must look like a mess."

Carlisle shook his head truthfully.

"Not at all. Are you… are you hurt?"

The laugh escaping her lips was everything but humorous and she shook her head.

"Not where you'd see it."

A frown appeared on his forehead and he moved even closer, sitting down next to her.

"What's wrong?"

Fresh sobs escaped from her lips and she shook her head.

"I'm sorry. I just… I wanted someone to ask that. I just… I wanted it to be my husband."

Carlisle nodded slowly.

"And he's not asking it?"

"He doesn't see me! At all. It's like I don't exist. I'm trying… so hard to make this marriage work, when really… all I want to do is run away because I can't stand another day of looking at him and knowing that he hates me."

Carlisle frowned, carefully touching the red hair.

"I'm sure he doesn't hate you."

"He does. And he should. I'm a horrible person."

"Stop that. I'm sure you're not a horrible person."

"I am. First, I cheat on my husband with his best friend and then… I ruin his life by coming to Seattle and ruining his relationship with the girl he's still in love with and now…"

She looked at him, a blush rushing to her cheeks.

"And now I'm crying on a total stranger's shoulder."

Carlisle laughed softly, his eyes shining.

"My shoulder is still tear free. I'm Carlisle Cullen."

She wiped more tears away, holding her hand out to meet his.

"The new Trauma Surgeon? I'm Addison Montgomery-Shepherd."

He closed his hand around hers, flashing her a small smile.

"I'm technically not a stranger anymore now. So if you want to use that shoulder…"

She laughed softly, running a hand through her messy hair.

"You know what… I think I'm okay now."

"Good. So… your husband?"

Addison sighed, looking down at her hands.

"He's in love with someone else. And I don't know whether I should… wait for it to pass or whether I should fight for him. I just… don't know. Are you married?"

His smile disappeared and he shook his head quietly.

"My wife… Esme… died. A few years ago."

"Oh, I'm… I'm sorry."

"You never quite… get used to the silence. Even when you're in a group of people, you feel… alone."

"I kind of… get that I guess."

Carlisle sighed.

"I wish my children did. But they… I don't know, they miss her too. But in a different way."

"How many kids do you have?"

"Five. Esme and I adopted them."

"What are their names?"

He seemed to have peeked her interest now and he couldn't help smiling at that.

"Rosalie, Emmett, Edward, Bella and Alice. They're all… grown ups though. They have lives of their own. Do you have children?"

"No. Derek and I… talked about it, but it never seemed like the right time. I wanted… a baby so badly though."

The longing in her voice reminded him of when Esme talked about having children and he closed his eyes.
"I take it Derek is the husband?"

"Yeah."

"Well I think you…"

He looked down as his pager went off, a small frown appearing on his forehead.

"Addison… if you'll excuse me. Could we talk again? Maybe over lunch? I just… I don't know a lot of people here and the interns…"

She smiled, nodding slowly.

"Lunch sounds good."

He stood, holding his hand out to help her up. Addison gasped as she looked up into his golden eyes, realising the bright colour of it for the first time. Carlisle ignored the reaction, smiling tenderly.

"I'd like to finish the conversation."

"Then we'll do that."