Prologue

Mathias Køhler sat at the bar, holding his fifth glass of cold Carlsberg beer, smirking proudly. He didn't even work at this boat-place. It was like, some random staff building for people who worked on the cruise boats. It was somewhere to go for the staff when the boat stopped off at a port for a few days.

Mathias knew that the people in this place's bar would most likely be tired and getting ready for the next part of the cruise, so that they would probably not notice him. It was an ingenious plan. Kind of.

"You new here?" asked the English barman suspiciously, wiping a glass with a reasonably clean rag.

"Uh, I've worked here all my life." Mathias lied with ease, despite his strong Danish accent, and that earned him a snigger from the man sitting next to him.

Gilbert Beilschmidt loved beer as much as Mathias did, if not more. And it was this drink of awesomeness that brought them together; they were absolutely brilliant friends.

"You know, I'm sure I've never seen any of you before," the barman raised an eyebrow, "although my memory is fading a bit."

"Pffft, you're senile!" jeered Gilbert, and looked at the man's eyebrows, "you're like, an old man or something. You've even got old man eyebrows!"

Both Gilbert and Mathias roared with laughter, and downed the remainder of their drinks in one go.

The barman clenched his fists. How could any two people be so…so…obnoxious? He was extremely sensitive to remarks about his eyebrows.

"I definitely don't remember any of you." The barman started to breathe deeply, as if trying to contain his rage. Which he most obviously was.

"How can you forget us?" demanded Mathias, indicating his own spiky blond hair, before adding, "That guy's an albino!"

"And we emit awesome. You must pick that up. Plus, our accents are awesome. Danish and Prussian-"

The barman cut the albino off, "For God's sake, Prussia doesn't exist anymore! And now I'm bloody well sure that you have never been here before in your entire lives!"

"What are you trying to say about Prussia?" growled Gilbert, standing up.

Suddenly, the door opened, and in walked a girl wearing some sort of hostess uniform. She was a flight assistant. Except for boats.

"Marie!" the barman said, "what are you doing here?"

"I work here, you gowl!" Marie scowled, pushing a strand of curly red hair out of her face, "what's all this racket? I'm tryin' to read!"

"Speak English; your accent's too strong." Gilbert remarked.

"That's rich." snapped the barman.

"Get back in the kitchen." Mathias joked, looking at Marie. She sure did look familiar…

"YOU!" she hissed, glaring at Mathias, and cracked her disturbingly skinny knuckles.

"Bro, what is this?" Gilbert whispered, and Mathias shrugged.

"Oi, ginger, what's up? Do I know you?" Mathias laughed, standing up.

"Don't act like you don't! You-! You stole all those potatoes! You potato thief!" Marie screeched.

"Potatoes? You didn't share them with me." Gilbert looked at Mathias, disappointed.

"I don't see why it's such a big deal." Mathias shrugged.

"From my grandfather." Marie added darkly, and with that, she knocked him over to the ground, and started punching him straight to the face.

The punches were weak, but they were definitely irritating. By now, everyone in the bar was looking at them, cheering the fight, not really knowing who to cheer for.

Mathias was about to kick her off and up the game, but that's when a door opened.

"What is the meaning of this?"

~ Later ~

"…so, we are awfully sorry about any commotion that occurred." Gilbert's brother, Ludwig, who actually did work at the place, just apologised for everything that had happened. Even though, technically, it was completely Mathias's fault.

"It was incredibly unprofessional," continued the brunet next to him, "and we have a way in which we could make it up to you."

Mathias noticed that this brunet, 'Roderich', was avoiding eye contact with Gilbert. They must know each other in some way. They all know each other in some way. Quite well.

"Yeah, it kinda sucked ass," Mathias agreed, "I didn't know that this was a staff-only thing."

"But I put a sign up right above the door." Ludwig frowned, trying to remember whether he did or not. He most certainly did.

"I'm Danish. My English isn't so good." Mathias stated immediately, looking Ludwig straight in the eyes.

"But I'm Austrian, and my English is perfectly fine." Roderich pointed out, folding his arms in a rather defensive manner.

"Yeah, but you're a pansy piano lover. You spent all your time studying back in high school." Gilbert cackled, and he must've got a kick from his brother underneath the table, because his face hit the table.

"Anyway, we have decided to make an offer to you. Because you were slightly under the influence when Marie attacked you, we have decided to give you a free ticket. For the cruise, from England to Norway." Ludwig said professionally, shuffling some papers around.

"That's awesome, I need to get back to my home anyway!" cheered Mathias, "which…isn't in Norway."

"But wait. That's not all. You will have to stay in the cheapest cabin we have. The only reason we've decided to do this at all is because Gilbert is actually coming with us, and Ludwig doesn't want to be annoyed by him." Roderich explained.

"That hurts, West!" Gilbert clutched at his heart, even though there was a slight bruise on his cheek, and feigned as if he was heartbroken.

"Stop fooling around, Gilbert. You are older than me." Ludwig snapped.

Mathias sat there, bemused. But he certainly did not want to take a gift horse by the mouth. Especially as it was the Aurora Lights cruise. The most famous boat line of the year, rated five stars…! It was damn well lucky that he actually got a ticket at all!

"I'm not fooling around! I'm being honest! Besides, why are you on the pansy's side, anyway? He's a total cheapskate." Gilbert leant back in his chair, and put his feet on the desk.

"So…untidy…" Ludwig and Roderich muttered at roughly the same time.

"Where did my cake go?" Roderich asked, looking at his empty plate.

"Prussia." replied Gilbert, spraying cake crumbs everywhere.

"So I got a free ticket? Sweet! You wanna tell me the details then?" Mathias grinned widely, leaning forward. He drummed his fingers on the desk, feeling the need to fidget without much purpose.

"Ah. But on one condition." Roderich began, looking at Mathias straight in the eye.

Mathias snorted, and waited for them to continue.

"You must not, on any circumstances, get on the bad side of Lukas Bondevik."

So, there we have it. It came out a bit crackier than I expected, sorry! I hope you like it…and yes, Gil and Mathias are great mates, although this is DenNor, and Gil will find the Bad Touch Trio!

I'm also sorry if I've made any grammatical errors. Norway will appear in the next chapter ;D

I just always saw Gilbert and Mathias going on random drinking things, because Prussia and Denmark were quite near each other, right? And then Germany and Austria thrown in because it's some weird neighbourhood thing going on XD

A note about Marie: Marie is some random OC for Ireland. I don't think I'll use her again; she will almost certainly not appear in this story again. On your history! Denmark and Ireland have always been rivals; they've got the same type of land, although Ireland better for growing crops. But Denmark has always been better at sales, and so, they've done much better financially.

Also, Vikings raided Ireland a lot. That's why I put in the "stealing potatoes" bit XD In addition, Ireland always borrows crap loads of money off Denmark…and pays it back even though it can't afford to…yeah.

-DerpAnomaly