It was Sunday night, and everyone Matsuri liked or knew was off from school by now. Her homework was done, three papers and two quizzes due tomorrow. These tasks got her for their busywork and their boredom. She was a brilliant girl with quick wit, but she hated wasting time on things that weren't challenging. It was all worth it, since she got to go to school with the people she loved more than life itself. Nene, Harumi and Yuzu were her family now. However, deep down in her core, she knew she wanted more.
She brushed the pink hair that bristled out from the sides of her head and over her eyes. She sat in front an oval desk mirror, staring longingly. Her mother, who she had barely any connection to, told her that constantly dyeing it would hurt it, but she wouldn't believe her. Pink suited everything about her, from her glossy nails to her long lashes; pink was her identity: a lost girl, a punk.
She thought back, as she always did this time of night, to her old days in Shibuya. She had never had anyone to hang out with at that time in her life, she had spent all her time in the city, making cheap deals and slumming around. In that life she was covered in the filth of her own immorality in that dirty place. She had often toyed with the relationships of others, manipulating them for her own gain. She pilfered grown men like popcorn, sold porn to hustlers. She used the internet on her phone for all her misdeeds. In that life she had doffed a personality which fit her. Abusing people like her father had mentally done to her before.
Her father had used to take her to the gambling dens to count cards, and she would tug on his coat when the number came up. Aces of spades, queen of hearts, she knew them all down the line, like the dice numbers and roulette balls and how they turned in their rows. She was only seven at the time but proclaimed gifted and talented. Her brilliance would eventually isolate her from the rest of her class and school. Eventually her father's sordid tale became too sad when he owed everyone in town. She had then gone to live with her mother, who found another partner who disliked her arrogance.
The last beating she took was when she was exiled from their apartment, and the slash across her cheek from the ring on his index finger stung her a thousand times worse than she could ever imagine. Her father-in-law thought he was a player, but Matsuri told him just how tough he was, robbing his safe before never coming back.
It was at that moment when her mother gave up on her for good.
If she hadn't met Yuzu again after all these years, randomly connecting with her after seeing the contact in her phone, there's no telling what or where she would be. On the streets most likely, in wild desperation in her hatred of the world. A prostitute maybe, selling plagiarized goods at the market. Forgotten and dirty.
The destruction of her parent's marriage had severed her from herself, left her in a state of disarray. Yuzu was like an angel who had guided her away from that life forever. She would never tell anybody, but she worshipped Yuzu. She loved her like a family member.
She brushed in long strokes down to the tips of her curls with her big panda-bear brush and smiled prettily into the mirror. The shower she had just taken had been long and hot, making her body pour beads of sweat. She wore gym shorts and a white t, a street graffiti design on the front. She reminisced over the past year, with her new friends at her new school. She hadn't gotten along well in her old school, and she thought that dealing with women every day wasn't so bad. Nene's impish smile, Yuzu's heartbroken sighs, Harumi's weirdness. She had traded bullies for actual friends, and it felt good to win in life for once.
Hanging out with her friends healed her. She loved them all on a personal level and without them, she would be nothing, she knew it.
She had started out a year ago wanting Yuzu as a lover, lusting after her long blonde curls which would've gone so well with her pink ones. They would've been like a set then, two very cute women. She didn't know why she liked to collect people like she did, like they were dolls, but she liked having a rotary of personalities. She acquired people like things because she needed all she could get her hands on. She had no family and almost no resources. All the things she had ever believed in anywhere else were in a dumpster outside her mother's apartment. It was the child in her that needed love.
Matsuri had an older sister crush going on with Yuzu, wanting her happy sensibility and positive outlook. Yuzu had good family values which Matsuri couldn't reciprocate. Her body was luscious to top it off, taller and curves to poke at
She had a baby-sitter crush on Yuzu after all the times she'd looked after her when she was a child, and Matsuri desperately wanted a chance to be a child again. After the long years she'd suffered, she would find happiness.
When meeting up at school, for lunch, a snack at a burger joint, they'd all say hello and talk catty. They made fun of students and teachers, the weird things they did. Each day was a gift, she loved squeezing Harumi's body as a joke, her breasts, her legs, slapping her, tickling her. She never let on that she had a secret crush on her. Something inside her had transitioned to an all-girls' school seamlessly. Her life had changed, she hadn't counted all that would change with it. She had worked her ass off to make it into this prep school because it was the first thing she ever really wanted. Besides of course the blonde, who she now couldn't have.
When Yuzu showed up at school the day after Mei had left her, she had big dark lines under her eyes and a swollen face from crying. She was like a big, shaggy dog who smelled from being outside for too long. She was like a disgruntled, furry pet who ran off from home, and lived on snacks and bones for many months at a time. You could smell the despair on her.
Even Matsuri, who had felt like she could be in love with Yuzu, had despaired at the change. A devastated Matsuri had opined her status as normal, while Mei in her lofty status ignored Yuzu's affectionate, impulsive love. If the wealthy, like the Aiharas, could simply avoid something so wonderful as love because of their status, what was a girl like Matsuri to them? Loved ones who one could depend on were all that mattered to Matsuri. Divorce had taught her this much. Instead, she was forced to watch Yuzu wilt like a broken flower in the rain. She watched as her friend get torn apart by the pain and anguish of losing her first great love.
Matsuri sometimes imagined herself as a sad old matriarch in some bordello somewhere. That was as much as she could have hoped for two years ago. She would have been in the care of the state if her parents hadn't feared the law. Yuzu changed the calculus of everything. To at last give up something so precious, felt like what her parents had put her through. Himeko had remarked upon the utter cruelty of Mei to Yuzu. The Aiharas were a brand label for treachery, and Mei played her part.
Himeko had been let down by Mei's willing self destruction. She could tell the awful change when it had happened, Mei had, "Broken inside," and barely talked to her anymore. The cuteness and light that had rung there had gone out like black smoke. A porcelain figurine smashed on the ground.
Matsuri brushed longingly, straining to pull out and straighten any nits in her hair before school tomorrow. Yuzu's attitude over the past eight months had made Matsuri feel vulnerable, even destructible. Yuzu was like her sister now, a washed-out sponge who was her sister. All because of money.
The day it had happened, Yuzu had run out of the classroom in tears, Harumi told her later. Matsuri didn't want to bother her after school, not knowing how serious it was. She couldn't step out of her shoes and be lovey-dovey and console her, either. Matsuri didn't have that motherly instinct in her. Yuzu didn't come to class for three days after. When she did return, she had no discernible style or fashion in her hair and stopped wearing makeup. A light had gone out.
The big, frittering blonde went from being a soft puppy dog who one might play with, to a sad, mopey rag. Her curls were all lifeless, hanging down her shoulders in leathery tendrils. She hid the truth from Harumi, but everyone knew something was off.
It was bedtime now, Matsuri shuffled off to the domain of stars and silver. The night would leave only some dark Van Gogh plain mountains and wheat fields. Her Starry Night would rest.
She gasped into the mirror looking at her eyes, they were the devil's. Thinking of Mei had made her angry all over again. She felt alone. School cured her ills, but these days it felt like she had fallen into a hole with Yuzu. She hated coming home to nobody, it wasn't any way to live, this giant, cold place her mother paid for. What was she going to do when Yuzu and Harumi graduated? What would become of her? She loathed to think all her time would be spent with Nene. What would Nene do without Yuzu and Harumi?
"Lame," she booed at the mirror. She got up to go to bed. She hated nights like this, dark, silent and purposeless. Lucky Yuzu got to sleep in a big bed with her sexy, seducing step-sister—somehow without her mom noticing it. Ume was nice, but she could be oblivious at times.
Matsuri lived alone. She put her brush down on her desk and reached for a hair clip. "Ugh," she said, as she searched among the milieu of knickknacks in her desk drawer. She rambled upon the one she wanted. She lurched out of her chair and into bed, pushing her covers aside. She immediately reached for her crotch, instinctually feeling alone and needy. She wanted to feel warmer, not be alone in this place that always felt like it was encroaching upon her. She was tired of this drama that affected her as much it did her friend. "Stupid women, I swear." She didn't know how to fall asleep in this place without getting totally miserable.
"Haru…" she whispered to herself, as she groped at her groin. Harumi was so stupid not to ask what was wrong with Yuzu. Matsuri got tired of having to constantly cheer up the blonde by herself. Without Yuzu's genial attitude in the group, Harumi was lost. Matsuri was tired of that withered look.
Harumi interested Matsuri, she constantly wondered if she was a straight gyaru bitch or a controlling lesbian. She never opened about who she really was, so Matsuri couldn't tell. The taller girl was hard to read, always hiding some part of herself. In the old days, Matsuri could've imagined Harumi showing up at a bordello with sunglasses and a big coat, asking to see one of the girls. It would of course be Matsuri, in pink fuzzy lingerie. "How are you doing, sweetums? What can mama get for you today?" rubbing her butt intermediately, "Wanna' lick my feet?"
That was kind of hot, thought Matsuri, and funny. Matsuri constantly tried to show her interest without drawing the obvious connection to Harumi. Teasing and touching her, trying to open the impenetrable wall of silence. She knew she was hiding something, and Harumi was always annoyed by the stuff Matsuri did to her. Grabbing and squeezing, rubbing and jolting, but Harumi would always just look straight ahead nonplussed, every time. Those dead fisheyes.
Matsuri reached down between her legs, rubbing over her clothes. Not getting close, mostly trying to get to sleep. It was cold out tonight and the covers felt good. She started to get a little wet, but she didn't want to go far tonight, only comfortable and warm. She didn't want to be cold in a place like this, ever.
Why did Harumi have to always act like such a stranger? Like she couldn't be comfortable no matter who she was with. 'Ahhhh, so stupid, so stupid' she thought. It was predictable, the stupid game. Yuzu falls in love and then apart, Harumi won't talk to her about it, and she's all alone with Nene with Harumi on a mental vacation. Speak up, girl!
She didn't want her friend to hurt anymore, she wanted her to be happy. Mei had ruined what fun she could have had with her friend. Yuzu had probably changed Mei like she had changed her, and Mei had dumped ice water onto that. Mei's betrayal was like a betrayal of everything Matsuri had worked to become since her childhood days. She had betrayed the best friend Matsuri ever had, and herself as she was; she had betrayed friendship, love and compassion, the warm glow Matsuri would have given anything for.
She would sleep for tomorrow, and then she'd see Haru and Nene again, and perhaps Yuzu would tag along, in her mopey, sad puppy-dog way.
Matsuri drifted off to sleep with a smile on her face. She had been rubbing herself to feel good and she felt warm. She drifted off to the stratosphere, dreaming of ponies, dragons and a bitch named Mei, who haunted her every night now. The dark-haired one breathed fire and had a severe look in her eyes. Matsuri was a knight in shining armor. She pulled out her sword and slayed the Mei-like dragon. Yuzu was the damsel in distress, wearing a white frilly cotton dress and a strange headpiece headpiece, some medieval outfit she had learned about in Classic Lit class. Yuzu immediately went to hug her knight in shining armor, gave her a kiss on the cheek. They then joined her accomplices Harumi, Nene, and some other students from her class, who were all knights. They three friends lead in front, waltzing to the arcade together, hand in hand.
"Fucking Mei." Matsuri snored and fell to sleep, dreaming of strangling that two-timing bitch.