A/N: So I know most of you won't have a clue why this is funny, but I started writing it a couple of months ago for my friend Micheala. She tweeted our original Australian Elphaba, Amanda Harrison, asking something about the note Elphie receives saying that "we've seen his face for the last time," and Amanda replied saying she couldn't remember exactly what the note said, but that there was one time when the crew guys put a porno in the Grimmerie... So this is just a REALLY short, random little spin-off of that story!
PS. Check out the multi-chapter story I'm currently working on: 'I Love You, I Really Do.' It's a Glee-based story about Puck and Shelby.
"Put him up on that pole until he tells us where the witch went!"
They were going to torture him, put him up on a pole, until he told them where I went. Eventually, they would end up killing him. Because I knew that my brave Yero would not cave, he would protect me as best he could, regardless of if he died doing it.
Selfish. So selfish!
"No, don't hurt him! Please, don't hurt him! No! Fiyeroooo!"
What could Glinda do? Nothing. She was hardly magical, and she was a blonde bimbo who was afraid of getting her hands (and her clothes) dirty. She was worthless in a dire situation! Completely useless!
"FIYEROOOOOOOOO!"
"Elphaba," I thought to myself. "Don't panic. Think about it, what can you do to help?"
Of course! The Grimmerie!
I threw the book down on the floor and knelt down, flicking through the pages until I found the spell I was looking for. I reached the page and was preparing to start chanting when I did a double take.
"Gahh!" I gasped, looking down at the open page. Stuck directly over the spell I desperately needed was the front cover of a magazine, featuring a skinny girl with dark hair bending over, squeezing her huge tits together and pouting her lips like a fish. What a whore. Worse, the girl was coloured in green. I knew Fiyero would appreciate the humour, but of course, he'd make some comment about how it would be better if it was actually me posing like that. Then he would try and make me pose for him like some common, stupid slut. That was Glinda's job.
Wow, okay, that was uncalled for. I was just really stressed. Honestly, I suppose Glinda isn't that bad. After all, she is supposed to be my best friend...
Damn Chistery! He and his friends were the most perverted monkeys I'd ever met. They were going to pay for this afterwards!
"Focus, Elphaba! Stop thinking about Glinda and Chistery. Kick their asses after you save your lover's life!"
Half amused and half disgusted, I peeled the page off, trying to prevent the words underneath from being ripped off. I finally found the spell I needed and praying that it wasn't too late, finally began to chant.