Author's notes

My first Resident evil story in awhile. Basically this story is about all the villains deciding to take a vacation on a cruise, and coincidently, the hero's go on the same Cruise at the same time, and hilarity ensues! Will they kill each other? become friends? Get ship wrecked? Find Atlantis? Who knows! Also, I'm doing something where there's gonna be certain parts where you can listen to music. At certain parts there's gonna be a link to a song, in order to get to the page, type in the address bar youtube right after it says http:/ then just copy and paste the link after that. I recommend you do it for comedic effect. And yes, I know I stole this idea from RainFox88, but I don't care! I'm just evil like that.

NOTE: The current date is July 7th, several months after I originally wrote this chapter. I just want to say, that this chapter sucks. Just plain sucks. Please do not judge the rest of the story based on this chapter, as the story gets much better. The only reason you should even read this chapter it to introduce you to an original character that I created. Other then that, there's no reason to read this sucky chapter.

Tap tap tap tap tap tap tap. Wesker paced back and forth angrily. Ada sat on a nearby chair casually giving herself a manicure, William Birkin smiled madly as he mixed various chemicals, Krauser was taking a nap, and HUNK was standing upright, doing absolutely nothing.

"Why? Why! Why can't I beat Chris!" Wesker practically yelled. Ada sighed as she rolled he eyes, and continued her manicure.

"My plan was perfect! Absolutely perfect!" He yelled.

"Yeah, it was prefect all right." Ada said sarcastically.

Flashback time

"I got it!" Wesker suddenly yelled, causing everyone in the room to jump, save for HUNK.

"I know how to beat Chris! I just came up with a full proof plan!" Wesker yelled.

"And what would that be?" Ada asked.

"I'm going to create a virus that turns everyone into worm monsters! I will release it into the atmosphere, and force the next stage in human evolution!" Wesker yelled.

"By turning everyone into worm monsters?" Ada asked.

"Precisely!" Wesker said proudly.

"I will call it... Uroboros! William, get right on that!" Wesker called. Meanwhile, William Birkin, was in his lab, with a giant smile that went all the way across his face.

"Ahaha! I've done it!" Birkin yelled.

"I've created a cure for cancer!" William yelled proudly.

"William, I said make me a virus that turns people into worm monsters!" Wesker yelled again.

"Huh? O-oh yeah right." Birkin said as he threw the cancer cure vial on the ground.

A little while later

"There, all I have to do is mix these two chemicals and your virus will be complete!" William said proudly. He poured the contents of one vial into another, and the stuff started bubbling.

"Uhh, William." Wesker said.

"Willia-"

"Shhh!" Birkin interrupted.

"Not while I'm pouring." He whispered. Slowly the bubbles started to over flow the vial, and the whole thing exploded in Birkins face.

"Cough cough, William what have you done!" Wesker yelled as a thick black smoke started to cover the whole room.

"I'VE DONE IT!" Birkin practically screamed.

"Your insane!" Wesker yelled.

"I'M A GENIUS!" Birkin continued.

"Your retarded!" Krauser yelled. Birkin then started to laughing maniacally. Eventually the smoke faded away, and everyone could breath again.

"Oh my me!" Wesker yelled.

"Don't you mean oh my god?" Krauser asked.

"No." Wesker replied.

"I nearly suffocated!" Ada yelled.

"That was mildly unpleasant." HUNK said calmly. Birkin was still running around laughing like an idiot, and Wesker eventually got his breath back.

"William! Where is the virus!" Wesker said very madly.

"Huh? Y-yes, I'll do that right now." William stuttered.

Another little while later

"It's done!" William yelled. He handed the vial to Wesker, who immediately turned to a nearby guard.

"You, whats your name?" Wesker asked.

"Random guard." Random guard replied.

"Here, drink this." Wesker said.

"Well, uhh, what is it?" Random guard asked.

"It's cranberry juice now just drink it!" Wesker yelled. Random guard quickly chugged the vial, and turned into a disgusting worm monster.

"And why are you going to infect everyone with that?" Ada asked.

"Because it reminds me of tentacle rape, now get out! All of you! Now that I have Uroboros, I don't need any of you fools!" Wesker yelled.

"Yes sir." HUNK said as he jumped out a window.

"B-but sir!" Krauser panicked.

"I said leave!" Wesker screamed.

"Don't worry Krauser, I'm sure his plan will fail, and he'll be begging us to come back." Ada said as she walked out, with a very sad Krauser behind her.

Present time

"Yes, well, in hindsight that probably wasn't a very good idea." Wesker said.

"IT'S ALIIIIVE!" Birkin screamed.

"What's alive?" Wesker asked. He looked over to find a very very large grey monster standing next to Birkin. It looked much like Mr. X, minus the trench coat and the hight difference.

"I shall name you... Mr. B!" Birkin yelled. Mr. B then bitch slapped Birkin across the room, and started to destroy the lab.

"William, what have you done!" Wesker yelled.

"I've created life! I am incredible!" William said on the brink of death.

"Don't worry boss! I'll take care of i-EEK!" Krauser screeched as Mr. B bitch slapped him across the room as well. He landed right on Birkin, crushing the life out of him.

"Gah! HUNK, do something!" Wesker yelled.

"And get him some clothes to!" Ada yelled while covering her eyes. HUNK then grabbed his walkie-talkie from its holster, and started talking.

"Calling the Tyrant squad, I need back up now!" he yelled.

.com/watch?v=X9bOsdHckhg

As soon as he said that, there was a loud stomp coming from outside the door. Then another one, and another, until the sound was right outside the door. Everyone stopped, and waited to see what was out there. The room went silent from anticipation, and finally, the door's bursted open. And In walked Nemesis, Mr. X, and the tyrant T-002 as rock and roll music started playing. They were all wearing sunglasses and had there arms crossed in a 'badass' way. Nemesis, the leader of the group, took off his sunglasses as the camera zoomed in on his face.

"Did someone call us?" He asked. Meanwhile, Mr. B was still trying to destroy the world.

"Birkin you fool!" Wesker said bitterly as he poured some strange liquid on his friends dead body.

"Wha- huh?" Birkin asked as he came back to life.

"Albert, you saved me again! Just like you did after that train blew me up! Thanks!" Birkin said cheerfully.

"How do we stop it!" Wesker yelled while pointing to Mr. B who had just hacked into Wesker's computer, and launched 100 nuclear missiles.

"What the- how the- That doesn't- GAH!" Wesker yelled.

"Great, now he's gonna destroy the world!" Ada yelled.

"Don't worry boss, we'll take care of him." Nemesis said.

"C'mon boys, lets crack some skulls!" Nemesis yelled as the music started up again. Nemesis repeatedly punched Mr. B while Mr. X was hanging of Mr. B's head trying to choke him. Tyrant T-002 was busy hacking into Wesker's computer to stop the missiles. He somehow switched from sunglasses to plain reading glasses in the process.

"Come on, whatcha got whatcha got!" Nemesis chanted.

"Urg, were wearing him down!" Mr. X yelled. Just then Mr. B spontaneously mutated into a creature that was a cross between Mr. X's second form, and William Birkin's third form. With this mutation his strength increased exponentially, and he easily tossed Nemesis and Mr. X across the room.

"What now?" Mr. X asked.

"Look's like it's time to break out the heavy artillery!" Nemesis yelled. He then pulled out his rocket launcher from thin air, because he can do that, and took aim.

"Do it Boss! You're an amazon!" Mr. X yelled.

"I'm a what?" Nemesis asked.

"Ya know, aww never mind. Just do it!" Mr. X said. (stop the music now)

"Gameover." Nemesis said as he fired. A single missile then flew out of the gun, and headed straight for Mr. B, who easily swatted it away.

"CRAP!" Nemesis yelled. He fired again, and this one made contact with a huge explosion.

"OWW!" Mr. B yelled.

"Hey, why'd you do that! Jerk." He whined.

"You were trying to kill us!" Nemesis rebutted.

"So it can talk?" Ada asked.

"Ok, fine! I'm thorry, I wath jutht kidding." Mr. B said.

"So it can talk, AND it has a lisp?" Ada asked.

"Hey guys! I brought pizza!" Nikolai said as he barged in the room with a pizza pie.

"GAH! I can't take you idiots anymore!" Wesker yelled.

"What did you call me?" Ada asked.

"I need a vacation!" Wesker screamed as he ran out.

Author's notes

And there's chapter 1. Ta-da! Now I know some of you might be blown away by it's absolute awesomeness, so just take a minute to catch your breath. Ok I admit it, it was a bit slow on the jokes. But just wait! I already have a bunch of jokes planned for when they actually get on the boat, I guarantee it will be funny. But in the mean time why don't you drop me a review, requests for anything you'd like to see are appreciated. Also I couldn't think of any other song to put in that spot then bad to the bone, if you have a better one you think will work please tell me and I'll change it.