Disclaimer: I don't own Love Hina or anything else that is mentioned here.

Random LH Humor

Chapter 2 The Confession(s)

Words that are in Italics are thoughts and descriptions

"Sentences that are surrounded by "" are spoken words."

"Words" that are surrounded by "" are used to imply something

Story Notes: I thought this would be a very funny scenario. You remember the scene in the movie "Meet the Fockers." Well, I forgot all about that movie and when I thought this up. This is basically a joke and I would like to hope that there is no one in this world as screwed up as these people are. Please remember while reading this that Seta is NOT under the influence of truth serum. I am trying to keep this rated T since I like the largest possible audience without dropping the humor from the piece.

The tag line for this piece would be:

Sometimes the truth will set you free or get you killed.

It was the day of the huge party and everyone was going to be there.

Keitaro and Naru had invited their parents and Keitaro's and Naru's sister. They also invited Motoko's elder sister Tsuroko, Su's brother and sister. Haruka, Seta and Sara were going to be there as well as Mutsumi was going to be at the party.

It was supposed to be a simple dinner and an announcement of their desire to be married and a set date for that to occur. Su and Kitsune had other plans.

The dinner was going smoothly when Su started to ask Naru, Motoko, Keitaro, Kitsune, and Mutsumi to come to a location where they wouldn't be seen by anyone and she surprised them all with a shot of "truth serum" since she knew that none of them would willingly take a shot of truth serum unless someone stuck each of them with a needle when they weren't looking and she felt that it was time to make A LOT of confessions.

It was time for the planned announcement.

"It is an honor and privilege to welcome you all to this special day and without further ado I would like to introduce Keitaro, Naru and their friends to the stage." Haruka then handed the microphones to Keitaro and the girls and then took a seat in the front row.

They all walked in and took their places and Keitaro began to speak.

"I would like to welcome you all to this special party that I have set up for you all. I give no thanks to that asshole. Oh, did I just say asshole? I meant bitch since that describes her best. She didn't lift a finger or get off her fat ass to help me with this party. So everyone, lets give a middle finger to that lazy sack of shit. If you don't like it Naru, you can kiss my ass."

"Well, Keitaro thanks for your spirited introduction. I would like everyone to know that I really hate this perverted pile of shit of a man since I have despised this man ever since I knew he existed and only pretended to like him to toy with his emotions and yes I am a bitch so you can all kiss my ass if you don't like that because it is the truth."

"Hello everyone my name is Mutsumi Otohime and I would like to tell everyone that I hate that bitch with a passion. I only like Keitaro as a friend but I pretend to love him because it drove that bitch up a wall and that it is so much fun making her blush and act like an ass in front of me and her friends."

"I, Keitaro Urashima, would also like you to know that I am involved with Motoko who by the way has a keen interest in girl on girl porno videos and magazines and who is actually swings both ways in case anyone was wondering. She has quite a collection that she keeps locked away in her room and spends three hours a night watching them and that is why she refuses to allow anyone to be in her room alone."

"Well Keitaro, I have to tell you that it is four hours a night. You always pass out after three."

"Well everyone this is Kitsune Konno here and I am also involved with Motoko and Keitaro in a threesome sort of relationship and this all started when one night I walked in on the two of them in one of their "sleep overs" and decided it would like to try something different and joined them in their nightly "sleep overs"."

"Well Keitaro, I really don't care that you are screwing Motoko and Kitsune at the same time. It isn't really shocking since I knew this was going on for quite a while so I would like you to know that I am screwing your sister and we are deeply in love."

"Well I have one question about that relationship, who is the "man" and who is the "bitch" of that relationship?"

"Well, I can't tell Keitaro. Kanako looks like a man but acts like a "bitch." Naru acts like a man but is a "bitch" so I don't know." Su tried to answer Keitaro's question.

"Maybe they take turns being the "man"?" Mutsumi claps her hands and smiles after blurting that out to the crowd not understanding what she was saying was unacceptable dinner conversation.

"When we are having some "adult entertainment" we like to be videotaped for future enjoyment."

"Well, Keitaro I like to know how Su sleeps through all of that perverted stuff you pull?"

"Who do you think is video taping us, Naru?"

"Isn't she a little young for that you perverted son of a bitch?"

"Well, it seems that she really is an adult and pretends to be a child so she could play the innocent child act when she did anything or said anything perverted."

"Like when my invention sent you flying into a tree and then you fell down and the tree tore off all of your clothes when you fell through its branches and you walked home without a stitch of clothing on in the middle of the afternoon at the time the all boys schools let out for the day."

Did you really think that was an accident or wasn't intended for you? I wanted to see the expression on your face when you walked home trying to avoid getting spotted by any perverts or getting arrested for indecent exposure since no one would believe any story of a machine doing a thing like that to you." Su explained to Naru and if you were wondering she accidently stuck herself with a needle full of truth serum.

Tsuroko had been silent for the most part but could not stand seeing her sister act like that and she just couldn't stand it anymore.

"You shame me and your family by committing such acts of perversion. I will make sure you lose your title for this!"

"Hey sister, maybe I should tell everyone why you quit? Well everyone this so called angel was caught in bed with another woman by our father and he got really pissed at her and forced her to resign in order to avoid receiving punishment from the council."

"You are a terrible liar, Motoko for I have not done any thing remotely close to what you say you you . . . "

"Can it sister! I have a videotape that shows a whole other side of you that would prove my allegation of you being nothing more than a perverted domineering bitch. In case you were wondering, she swings both ways just like I do.

"I didn't know who she was until Su's brother and sister came over that I recognized the other woman on the tape and I would love for you to tell everyone how you two met each other."

Faced with irrefutable evidence, she sat down and was left speechless not having anything to say which for her was just not something that happened to her. The last thing she wanted was for Motoko to pull out a tv, VCR, and the tape and start playing "that" to the crowd.

Seta stood up and spoke to everyone.

"I would like to confess that I drink large amounts of alcohol before driving."

"Um Seta, we already knew that you drink and drive since I believe there is no way a person could be that stupid enough to crash and flip his vehicle every time he gets behind the wheel."

"True Kitsune, but what you don't know is sometimes I have an accident and sometimes I do it on purpose because I am basically an asshole who can't drive if my life depended on it and I drink and drive to cover up the fact that my driver's license got revoked eight years ago for recklessly endangering people's lives."

Kitsune just stood there in shock because he had just confessed to something even though he had not received a dose of truth serum and that the idea that some of the accidents were on purpose was quite shocking to say the least.

You were probably wondering at this point how the rest of the people responded to this torrent of secrets being let out into the open.

Anyone who had food in their mouths when Keitaro started the announcement spit it out all over the table and most of them left the room in disgust saying that they had no daughter/sister or son/brother as they left the room. Let me just say that they all got disowned in 45 minutes of confession that got a lot of people basically pissed off.

Haruka was smoking a cigarette but it fell out of her mouth when the "announcement" started to come out. She gave that "how in the hell did I miss that" expression on her face as her nephew and the girls spoke with brutal honesty about themselves.

Before anyone could leave, Sara yelled for everyone to stop because she had an important announcement to make.

"I would like to inform you that since I am a bratty, snotty, bitchy demanding child that would be best described as a Naru in the making. I will like to inform you that I added a little "spice" to that soup you just ate. She then showed three empty bottles of Ex-Lax to the crowd."

"I hope you enjoy looking for a bathroom since I turned off the water to the house and hid all the toilet paper so have fun you stupid dorks."

No one believed her at first but everyone started feeling funny and started to run to the bathrooms hoping that she was lying about everything she had said which would have been wishful thinking.

Oh in case you were wondering, Kitsune decided that Sara also needed to make a few confessions of her own to the crowd.

Kitsune woke up from the nightmare sweating furiously.

She got up, wiped off the sweat and walked over to a notepad in her room and scratched off the idea to use truth serum to get Keitaro and Naru to confess their feelings.

"I guess I should try something else to get those two idiots to confess their feelings."

"What a crazy dream! Yeah like that could ever actually happen!" or could it?

Meanwhile . . .

"I had a lot of fun last night Motoko! See you tonight same time, same place." Keitaro said to Motoko and he snuck out of her room and into his own.

There is a saying that the truth will set you free. I know that in this house the truth will get you killed and I think everyone enjoys living.

The End

Story Notes:

This was something that just flowed out of me and when I finished it and read through it I thought it was hysterical. I knew that throughout the whole anime they kept a lot of secrets and I thought hey what if they were forced to admit every embarrassing detail of their lives to a large crowd of family and friends. Personally my favorite was Mutsumi's answer to Keitaro's question. My second favorite would be the confession by Seta about his driving "ability" since he thought everyone was willingly confessing the truth and decided to join them. I tried to make pairings that I haven't seen in a story before. I am not one for writing a girl on girl pairing story but I would like to see if someone could make a story using these pairings without going OOC since that is cheating.

A rundown of the pairings in this story would be the following:

Keitaro and Motoko and Kitsune (Keitaro is one lucky bastard in this one.)

Naru and Kanako (Their personalities are so alike it's scary.)

Tsuroko and Amalla ( hmm... a what if they met and fell in love scenario?)