Title: These Exiled Years
Author: Ryo314
Rating: T
Spoilers: None
Disclaimer: I do not own the characters nor the concept of Scrubs.
Summary: After the unexpected death of a patient and some drunken confessions, JD starts out on a strange new relationship. That is until the patient's bereaved son takes everything that makes JD who is he is from him.
Note: This is my first Scrubs story so comments and constructive criticism are not only welcome, but greatly appreciated. The title is taken from a Flogging Molly song because not only am I a Flogging Molly fan, but the song kind of fit. Italicized words that do not have quotation marks are JD's thoughts. Italicized words with quotation marks are the thoughts of whoever it says.
Warning: This is a slash story: JD/Perry. If you do not like these stories, please stop reading because all flames based on the fact this is a slash story will be cruelly mocked along with their flamer in the next chapter.
These Exiled Years
Chapter I
"People say that life is the greatest gift God has given us. I believe that death is, for without the possibility of death, what would life be worth?" Oliver Roberts
Dr. Cox has been telling me since I started not to get attached to my patients, but sometimes it's just so hard not to: enter Darla Williams. She was a sixty-three year old woman who didn't seem to have any family but quickly got into the heart of every doctor and nurse who worked with her, including mine. The problem was, we couldn't figure out what was wrong with her. She'd come into the emergency room complaining of chest pains and passed out while she was being examined. For the the week, we'd run every test we could think of, but nothing had worked.
Last night, after my shift was over, I'd gone in and visited her for a little while, and before I left, I promised her we would find out what was wrong. She'd smiled, took my hand, and said "I trust you."
That was the last time I got to talk to her. I'd had a boatload of patients that morning, and it wasn't until my pager went off that I got back to Miss Williams room; she was coding. It didn't matter how hard I tried or how bad I wanted it, I couldn't bring her back. I know Dr. Cox says not get so attached to patients, but I'd promised her we would figure out what was wrong, and I lied. I was angry, but I didn't know who to be angry at. I'd lost patients before, and I'd been close to patients before, but this one just felt different.
JD sat outside the hospital, staring down at his hands; his shift had been over for twenty minutes, but he just couldn't bring himself to leave yet. About another ten minutes went by before the real world actually penetrated his thoughts. Several people had walked past him and stared, but none of them had bothered to say anything to him, until now.
"Hey there, Diane. As good as an idea as it is for you to sit here and attract customers to the hospital with your horrible case of drama queen-itis, but you might want to get off your ass and actually do something now that your shift is over. How about getting out of my sight?"
JD sighed; he really wasn't in the mood for one of Dr. Cox's rants right now. "Can you please just leave me alone? I'm not in the mood."
"Oh, Katie, was Gilmore Girls canceled?"
Don't even joke about that. "Please, just leave me alone Dr. Cox. I'm not in the mood for one of your oh-so enlightening rants about how I need to stop being a girl, so please...just leave me alone." I suddenly wondered why I'd chosen this particular moment, when I was a mere foot away from a man who could kill me, to as, Dr. Cox always so eloquently put it, "Grow a Pair."
Upon realizing what he'd just said, JD tried to decide between bracing himself for a blow or running away frantically in the other direction. He thought about each option. The first one ended with him unconscious in a hospital bed and the second ended with him in Cuba dressed as a woman. JD decided the first option was better.
JD, very manly like, put his hands over his head and cowered while waiting for Dr. Cox to hit him. It never happened. After a few moments, JD looked up and saw Dr. Cox merely staring at him; the expression on his face was difficult to read. It was a cross between pure anger and amusement. "Okay, Cinderella. I know I'm gonna regret asking this, but what is wrong?"
Disney Princesses. That's new. For a moment, JD waited for him to add something along the lines of "Your boyfriend break up with you?" but it never came. JD swallowed. "You know my patient Miss Williams?"
"Yes, Newbie. I gave you her case. What about her?"
"She coded today."
For a moment, Dr. Cox was actually speechless, but of course that didn't last long. "Nancy, I hate to tell you, but this is a hospital and as hard as we try to prevent it, people die. It's a concept you should have gotten you used to in the nearly two years you've worked here."
JD rubbed his tired eyes. "I told her I would figure out what was wrong; she told me she trusted me. She was just fine last night, and she died."
There was a long bit of silence. "Newbie, as heartbreaking as this all is, get over it. You couldn't have stopped it, and as much as it pa-hains me to say this, you're a good doctor. I'm sure you did everything you could."
"It doesn't feel like it." JD's tone was bitter.
"You see, Lacy, this is why I tell you not to get attached to your patients."
This is why I tell you not to get attached to your patients. Stupid doctor-head...Why am I so much braver in my mind? "I really am not in the mood, Dr. Cox."
There was another moment of silence before Dr. Cox spoke again. "Get up, Newbie. We're going."
"Where are we going?"
"If you're going to sulk in your own self-pity you're going to do it right. Now, get up!"
JD decided it was better not to question the now very angry man towering over him. "Okay," said JD, slowly getting off the ground. I just hope we take a very public route so in case I don't show up to work tomorrow there may some witnesses as to where Dr. Cox has hidden my body. Damn...good looking doctor...Oh God...gotta bury those thoughts! Bury those thoughts! Deeper! And...Better.
XVIIIIV
"Newbie drunk is a cross somewhere between hilarious and...pathetic...at least I think it usually would be. Right now, it's just pretty damn pathetic. Don't get me wrong, I'm glad that the kid actually cares for his patients, but there has to be some distance between him and the people he cares for or else it's gonna be like this with every patient he gets close to that he just can't save, and that is the beginning of a slippery slope that a doctor just can't climb back up. Part of me doesn't want him to lose his caring side, not even at all. It seems like even in a year a doctor can lose his ability to care and the fact that the kid still can is pretty amazing."
"Jeez. The kid's not even drinking his usual: Appletini's (I heard Dr. Gandhi talking about it one day with Carla at the nurse's station). He actually was brave enough to order a whiskey, but after that fiasco and a Hell of a lot of coughing, he settled for just plain beer. He's on his seventh bottle. The kid is a lightweight, so I'm not envying the way he's gonna feel tomorrow...even if it is kind of funny. God...the kid looks pretty damn down...I'm almost tempted to give him that hug he's always asking for...almost. Crap, he started rambling on about something. Gotta act like I was listening."
"What did you say, Josephine, I wasn't listening?" Dr. Cox said, taking a swig of his own beer. "Okay, too hard to act like I cared."
"There had to be s-s-something I mis-missed," said JD sadly. "I know it-t."
"Newbie, I told you. This is why you need to keep your distance from patients; if you get too close you start to second guess yourself."
"But-but I care about pe-people. I can't hel-help it; I do." JD took another drink.
"Well, that's why I care about you, Newbie, a lot. Oh God...banish those thoughts...think about something else...um...sports...Dr. Barbie's whining...JORDAN! Ahh...yes...nothing gets rid of pleasant thoughts faster than the thought of Satan's spawn...well at least the spawn of Satan and Bob Kelso. Ah...two slams in one." Dr. Cox took another drink of his beer and saw that JD was talking again; he also noticed that during his rant of thoughts he'd ordered another beer. "Crap, is that his eighth or ninth one?"
"Sorry, Lila, I kind of spaced out on you again. What did you say again?"
"Dr. Cox, I said-d that I-I care for you-you."
"I know, Newbie, you've made that sickening clear over the last year or so."
"No, I mean really care for you. Like a lot." As if the confession had taken everything from him, he downed the beer he'd just bought.
Dr. Cox couldn't actually say he was surprised. A kid doesn't follow you around like a lost puppy, taking every bit of verbal abuse he could throw without caring a lot for someone. "Damn, I knew this was coming, drunken confessions. I should have taken him bowling; no one's ever heard of bowling confessions. Man, I thought I could break him of this. Did he think girl's names were terms of endearment? Well, okay maybe...crap, he's saying more."
"I really-really...don't feel so well-ell." JD suddenly got off of the barstool; Dr. Cox expected him to go running to the bathroom, but instead he went rushing outside.
"Damn it, Newbie!" Dr. Cox quickly emptied the beer in front of him and then took off after JD.
Outside the bar, the fall wind was blowing which made the search for JD even more unpleasant. "Where'd that little nitwit go?" Dr. Cox muttered, looking up and down the street. "Newbie?!" No response. "JD?!"
He didn't actually get a response, per se, instead he heard the distinct sounds of someone emptying their lunch onto the ground. "Dammit, Newbie."
Dr. Cox hurried to the alley and found JD with one arm holding him up against the wall while the other clutched his stomach painfully tight. He was now dry heaving so he must have emptied the contents of his stomach already.
"Alight, Claire, I think it's time we got you home," said Dr. Cox, making his was over to JD. "Apparently, the after prom was just too much for you." He tentatively set a hand on JD's shoulder. "Umm...are you okay?"
"I thin-think I drank-drank too much." JD was attacked by another set of dry heaves.
Dr. Cox shook his head as he waited for the fit to pass. "Yah think...No wait...that's okay to say aloud. Say it!" Dr. Cox helped him stand up straight. "Yah think?" He took a deep breath as he tried to help JD walk. "Who's at your apartment? I don't want you going comatose and no one knowing."
JD shook his head. "No one. Carla and Turk are bo-both work-k-king tonight." JD tripped over his own feet and almost fell flat on his face except Dr. Cox grabbed hold of him.
"Good God, Dora! Can't you hold your liquor?" Despite his annoyed tone, Dr. Cox slipped JD's arm around his shoulders and helped him back over to the Porsche. He deposited JD in the passenger's seat and quickly hooked him in. "Something tells me I am so going to regret this tomorrow," muttered Dr. Cox as he went around to the driver's side. After getting in, Dr. Cox looked at JD and saw he his head lolling to the side; it was only a few seconds later before he fell asleep. "Dammit, Cox! Why couldn't you have just let him mope in peace?!"
The drive to his apartment was awkward at best. Dr. Cox kept glancing nervously at JD, hoping that he wouldn't wake up during the drive. "God, why did Carla and Turtle-head have to be working tonight?"
Dr. Cox breathed a huge sigh of relief when he finally reached his apartment. He parked his car and went around to pull JD from the passenger's seat. Dr. Cox's grip on him woke him up a bit, and he stumbled along next the older doctor as they made their way up to the apartment. It took a lot of maneuvering, but Dr. Cox managed to unlock the door and get inside without dropping the half-conscious JD on the floor. Once inside, Dr. Cox deposited JD on the couch and then hurried to his cleaning closet and grabbed a bucket. He set it next to the couch, where JD had already laid down, and shook his head at JD. He was about to go to his own room when JD's voice stopped him.
"Dr-Dr. C-Cox?"
"What now, Gina?"
"I-I car-care about-about you. I real-really do-do."
Dr. Cox gritted his teeth. He didn't want to deal with this; he really didn't. "I heard, Newbie. Get some rest." JD stared at him for a moment with huge eyes. Dr. Cox knew he was trying to stay awake, but he quickly lost the battle. JD's eyes drooped shut, and he fell asleep on the couch. Dr. Cox started toward his own bedroom when the guilt, and some other feeling he couldn't identify, he usually tried so hard to bury deep where not even Jordan's claws could dig it out suddenly started eating at him.
"Dammit, Newbie!" Dr. Cox turned back around and planted himself in the armchair next to the couch. "Should have gone bowling."
XVIIIIV
The first thing JD noticed when he woke up was the terrible throbbing in his head. The second thing he noticed was the horrible nausea taking hold of him. The third was the feel of someone's hands grabbing hold of his shoulders and a bucket being shoved under his face.
"Stacy, if you so much as get a drop of vomit on my floor you will not live through your hangover."
That's Dr. Cox's voice...Did I die or something? Maybe I'm in a parallel universe...Oh God! My Stomach!
JD threw up again into the bucket and then leaned back against the couch. "Um...Dr. Cox...how did I end up here?"
"Well, Newbie, you decided that instead of excepting that Miss William's death was out of your control, you wanted to try and drink some sense into yourself. It didn't really work."
JD groaned. "My head hurts."
"Drinking does that, especially to young girls when they know they can't hold their liquor."
Girl jokes, and I've only been conscious for two minutes. JD sat up all the way. "What did I do?"
"Drank, blubbered, drank some more. Then you puked. You see normally I only get to see you act stupid, but seeing you act stupid and drunk...well that was a real treat."
Dr. Cox left the living room for a moment and came back carrying what looked like the top to mouth wash. "I suggest you swish this, Newbie, especially if you're worried about morning breath."
JD took the cup and swished the liquid around in his mouth. He spit it out in the bucket and handed the cup back to Dr. Cox, glad that the puke taste was out of his mouth. "What time is it?" asked JD, leaning his head back again.
"Two in the morning."
"Sorry about all this."
"Well, if only sorry could get me last night back."
JD felt guilty and looked down at his hands. Dr. Cox immediately regretted his words even if he didn't show it on the outside. "Look, Newbie...you...uh...said some things tonight."
Crap! What did I say?! I hope I didn't say what I think I said. Maybe I told him I still watch Disney movies. No...wait! I think he already knows that. Crap! What did I say?!
"Um...Dr. Cox...what did I say?" Dr. Cox stared. Crap!
XVIIIIV
"Crap! What do I tell Newbie? How exactly do I phase "You told me that you cared for me a lot, and I kind of feel the same" without sounding like a complete girl. Think, Perry, think!"
Without warning, Dr. Cox crossed the living and captured JD's lips with his own. The kiss somehow managed to be quick, deep, and meaningful all at the same time. Dr. Cox pulled back slowly and looked down at JD. "Um...does that tell you, Newbie?"
JD nodded although Dr. Cox's hand was still on the side of his face. "It also kind of explains the mouthwash."
Dr. Cox laughed and then quickly stood back up as if realizing what he'd just done. He felt like he should be panicking, but instead he felt good...really good. While he was on his own cloud nine, he noticed that JD didn't look so good. His face had turned very pale and his eyes were watery.
"Jamie, you alright?"
"Um...please don't think this had anything to do with the kiss, but I think I'm gonna throw up."
Dr. Cox rushed forward, grabbing the bucket, and stuck it under JD's face. He grabbed hold of the kid's shoulder with one hand while holding the bucket with the other. JD managed to throw up even more, despite the puking from earlier, and eventually leaned back on the couch.
"You want some more mouthwash?" asked Dr. Cox, setting the bucket far away from both of them; JD nodded weakly. Dr. Cox went and got another cap full of mouthwash and handed it to JD. This time after swishing it, JD just swallowed it. "Bad Newbie! You know you shouldn't swallow that! Here I thought you were a doctor."
JD shook his head. "Don't really care." He closed his eyes and took a deep breath.
Dr. Cox sighed. "Come on, Newbie." He bent down and slid his arms around JD's chest; with quite a bit of effort considering JD was almost dead weight, Dr. Cox lifted him off the couch and stumbled along with him to the bedroom. With an abnormal amount of care, Dr. Cox laid JD on the bed. He took off JD's shoes and studied his charge for a moment. With a shrug of his shoulders, Dr. Cox kicked off his own shoes and crawled into the bed next to JD.
XVIIIIV
JD woke up confused. Well, more than confused. For one thing, he was not in his own bed; he could tell by the sheets he was laying on. He tried to recall what had happened, but his head was throbbing, and he was having trouble figuring out how he got into some strange bed. It was then that he noticed he was not alone in the bed he was in.
Slowly, as to not aggravate his throbbing head, JD sat up and looked around. He was shocked to see Dr. Cox laying next to him, and suddenly everything came back to him: the bar, his hangover, and the fact that Dr. Cox had kissed him.
Dr. Cox kissed me! He kissed me! That's great! Wait, we're in bed; what did we do? JD looked at Dr. Cox and saw he was still fully dressed and then noticed he was too. Okay, fully dressed. Couldn't have done much. Suddenly, JD noticed that Dr. Cox was slowly waking up; he suddenly wanted to be very far away from the apartment in case Dr. Cox wasn't as happy about last night as he was. He's waking up! Crap! I need to go!
JD was about to spring from the bed, but an arm on his shoulder stopped him. "Where are you going, Newbie?" asked Dr. Cox's quiet voice.
"Um...Dr. Cox...about last night...you see-"
Before JD could finish, Dr. Cox had managed to push him back on the bed and capture his lips with his own again. JD's mind screamed at him for a moment to stop, but he quickly silenced it by sliding his arms around Dr. Cox's waist. He was a little surprised when Dr. Cox slipped his tongue into his mouth, but he quickly gave in. Dr. Cox's own hands had moved from the gentle hold on his face to slip beneath his shirt. JD moaned and arched up into the touch. The kissing continued for another few minutes, but Dr. Cox finally pulled back.
"That explain some things, Newbie?"
JD nodded, but then shook his head. "What about Jordan? I mean everyone knows that you and her get back together every other week."
"Newbie-"
"I don't really want to be just some toy while you're waiting for her to come back."
"Newbie-"
"I mean...I know that I don't exactly have a great track record with my own relationships, but that doesn't mean I don't want them to work out."
"Susan!?"
"I really don't want you just to mess with me, Dr.-"
JD was cut off when Dr. Cox kissed him again, but this one was gentle and lasted for at least twenty seconds. "Newbie, you're starting to sound like your whiny psychotic friend complaining about her relationships, and trust me, I don't want to think about Dr. Barbie right now; her ass is nowhere as nice as yours."
"But-" He thinks I have a nice ass! "Wait, you think I have a nice ass?"
XVIIIIV
"Shit! I said that aloud! Man, I am not gonna get through this conversation if I'm thinking about Newbie's ass. Shit! I did it again! I thought I got rid of those thoughts months ago!"
"Newbie-"
"Dr. Cox, I really don't want this to be some weird fling for you."
Dr. Cox sighed. "Newbie, while you were...unconscious...I did some thinking. I can't promise I can make this work, you know that, but I can try. I'm not gonna be this great man, but I really do...like you, Newbie." Dr. Cox couldn't help but think he sounded like a girl. "I'm willing to give this a try."
JD was quiet for a minute. "How long?"
"How long what?"
"How long have you felt this for me?"
"God, Missy, you are a girl. Awhile, okay?"
"How long's awhile?"
"The past few months or so...you were just so damn persistent on not leaving me alone that...you just kind of grew on me, and-I don't know-before I knew it I just kind of...liked you."
"You sure got a way with words."
"Newbie..."
"Can I call you Perry?"
Dr. Cox sighed. "Outside the hospital."
"Will you call me JD?"
"When I'm feeling generous."
"Will you eat in the cafeteria with me?"
"What is this? High school?"
"Can I tell my friends?"
"Jeez, Newbie, let's try and make it through today first..." He saw the somewhat hurt look on JD's face. "Eventually, but not yet."
There was a long silence. "Are you sure about this...P-Perry?"
The way JD used his name so tentatively made Dr. Cox smile. "Newbie, the fact I haven't strangled you for being just plain annoying and throwing up in my living room should be sign enough that I'm pretty sure about this."
JD smiled. "Okay." Hesitantly, JD leaned up and gave Dr. Cox a light kiss.
"Girl," murmured Dr. Cox with a smile. He looked up at the clock beside the bed and saw it was six in the morning; his shift started at two pm that day. He needed to get some more sleep if he was going to survive a day of interns and the start of a relationship of the most annoying yet somehow irresistible person he'd ever met.
"Get some sleep. You've got a shift today, too."
JD nodded, and Dr. Cox slowly got back to his own side of the bed. For a moment, Dr. Cox laid there, but then slowly rolled over and slid an arm around JD's waist. "Um...you okay...JD?" It was weird to say it, but it also felt good.
"Yeah." The younger doctor nodded. "I'm okay." JD moved more into the embrace and quickly fell asleep.
TBC