"Oh, come on, 'Mione, you're like, what, 26 and you don't even have a boyfriend! Don't give me that look, he's really hot!"
"Do I even know him? He might be a Death Eater or something…"
"Uh…"
"YOU'RE SETTING ME UP WITH A DEATH EATER?!"
"Oh, give me a break, people change…"
"I am not going out with a death eater!"
"He had no choice, Voldemort would've killed his family!"
"He's still a murderer."
"Technically, he's not, he never actually killed anyone…"
"…just watched as Voldemort tortured people and gave him information."
"Please?"
"No."
"Come on, you're the Brightest Witch of The Age, even if he does attack you, you'll be fine…"
"I don't believe this…"
"Aha! Look at Snape. He was good, right?"
"Eh…I guess people do change…"
"EXACTLY."
"OKAY! I'll go, happy? You know, you're only one year younger than me, Gin, and you don't have a boyfriend!"
"Actually, I do…for about 6 months now…"
"Sorry, I didn't hear you. What was that?"
"Nothing…anyway, I'm sure you're going to have a great time. Keep reminding yourself that people change, okay?"
"Uh, Gin, I said I would go…"
Though Hermione didn't know yet, Ginny was sure that she was TOAST when Hermione found out who her blind date was.
But remember who we're talking about here.
This is GINNY WEASLEY.
So, clearly, she had a plan.
"I'll be back in a sec." Ginny walked towards the kitchen of the Burrow and found none other than George Weasley chomping away at a Cauldron Cake.
"Hey, George, could you come here for a sec?"
"Sure, what is it?"
"Could you make an unbreakable vow?"
"Wait, Gin, what the hell…?"
"JUST DO IT OR I WILL BAT-BOGEY HEX YOU, YOU GOT IT?!"
"Sure! Anything for my little sis!"
Ginny grabbed him by the hand and pulled him to the living room, where Hermione stood. She let go, but then grabbed onto Hermione's. George placed the tip of his wand on to their linked hands.
"Will you, Hermione, go on this date?"
"What the heck is this…"
"ANSWER ME!"
"I will." Her voice was shaky, obviously confused. She already said she'd go, was an unbreakable vow really necessary?
"Will you NOT, Hermione, kill me?"
"Ginny, of course I-"
"ANSWER PROPERLY!"
"I will not."
"Will you let go of the past, and walk into the future?"
"Is this a real unbreakable vow…?"
"Yes. Now answer me!"
Death? If Hermione didn't follow this, she was going to die?
"I will."
Meanwhile
"Dude, you're like, I don't know. Anyway, you're old. You haven't had a girlfriend since Pansy, which was basically just her flirting with you."
"I'm fine, who knows, she could be…"
"What?"
"You're right, what do I have to lose?"
"Exactly. Anyway, she's smart, pretty, brave…"
"…brave?"
"Uh…yeah…"
"Gryffindor?"
"You know, I always thought that Hogwarts should just get rid of all the houses? Wouldn't you like that? Just, you know, all together. I mean, houses are just like, where you sleep, right? I mean, it doesn't really mat-"
"Blaise. Answer me. Now."
"Yep."
"I DON'T BELIEVE THIS! DO YOU KNOW ANYONE WHO KNOWS ANYONE WHO KNOWS ANYONE WHO KNOWS OF A GRYFFINDOR AND SLYTHERIN RELATIONSHIP? NO. THAT'S BECAUSE THEY DON'T EXIST."
"Actually, me and Gin…"
"What was that?"
"Uh…you're special. Look, if anyone who could make this work, it's you. You're smart, responsible, sexy…"
"…Okay, sounds good when it comes from a girls mouth, but not my best mate."
"Just…give it a try, please."
"But she's a Gryffindor!"
"I thought you changed. Wouldn't you rather be Gryffindor than Slytherin? Everyone hates Slytherin now, because all the Death Eaters came from there. I know it's not your fault, man, they would've killed your family, but still, like, stop believing in all that crap your parents told you, 'cause, like, look where that got them? I mean–your mum's great, she changed. But your dad, he's in Azkaban for life, for Merlin's sake!"
"You're right. All my life, my parents been telling me that Gryffindors suck, and that Slytherin are the best. Now, I think that it's the other way around. I mean, I would hate me if I saw the horrible things I did."
"Yo, I just wanted you to go out with this girl, like, don't go sulking about how you screwed up your life…"
"You're right. I screwed up my life! I COMPLETELY SCREWED UP MY LIFE!"
"Okay, I'll leave you to your sulking. But you're going on the date, right?"
"Yeah. WHAT'S THE WORSE THAT COULD HAPPEN, MY LIFE'S ALREADY BLOODY SCREWED UP!"
"Okay…I'm gonna leave now….kay…..bye….see you…"
An hour later…
"Did you do it?"
"Yep! You?"
"Yeah, an unbreakable vow later…"
"Whoa. I didn't go that far. I just convinced him that his life was screwed up so he wouldn't have anything to lose."
"Jeez, Blaise, that's pretty morbid…"
"But you love it!"
"Haha, very funny, honey. Okay, gotta go, 'Mione's coming, love you."
"Love you too! Hope they don't kill us!"
"Ditto."