Jam Hands
Disclaimer: I own nothing , except my laptop and some revision guides I should be using but have instead written this rambling piece of nonsense, I loved Luke's jam hands rant and so wrote this. Enjoy.
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He didn't like children. It was really that simple and no matter how much Lorelai liked to proclaim it was because he wasn't hugged enough as a child he knew it was because of the bloody jam hands. How did they do it anyway? It was like some kind of perverse superpower and no matter how innocent they seemed when they wiped their dirty mitts down your shirt it was plain to him their was some kind of malicious intent behind that toothy grin.
So when Lorelai came bursting into the diner looking like she was eyeing him up for weaknesses and didn't even ask for coffee he knew he was right to be worried.
"Luke…" she stretched his name inventing extra syllables, damn that tone was scary, "Yeah" he answered noncommittally hoping if he kept fiddling with the coffee machine and avoiding eye contact she couldn't suck him in.
"I was thinking, and while it's usually ill advised I've haven't tried it in a while so this time I may have struck gold." heaven help him the rambling had began "Jess and Rory are going away" she continued "next week and Lane said her and Zack would watch Ayn and that's great and everything but I'm jealous" she finished with a pout.
Seeing all too clearly where this was going but unable to refuse he turned toward her coffee pot in hand. Hopefully she'd be too distracted by the coffee to finish this dangerous line of thought.
"Ooh coffee!" her eyes glinted and he could see victory in his sights, Luke Danes could not be so easily tricked by a Gilmore girl, he knew their weaknesses! "Do you want some Lorelai?" he asked making sure the coffee pot passed close enough to fill her nostrils.
But then just like that it was all over and Lorelai shook her head and refocused her attack, now aware he was trying to trick her, her eyes narrowed,
"Oh very sneaky Mr Coffee Man but your Jedi mind ticks won't work on me! As I was saying before I was cruelly distracted is that Rory and Jess are going off to get all lovey dovey next week and I want to look after Ayn", her tirade finished Lorelai allowed herself to grab a victory Danish from under one of the glass domes.
Getting the very real suspicion he was fighting a losing battle, one he had lost many time before Luke voiced his concern, "I love Ayn, but it's the jam hands Lorelai, that may not have been a legitimate concern when Jess came along but she is three and I've seen the jam on her tiny hands, last week she got it all over the living room wall, she was only alone a minute!"
Chewing on her danish Lorelai only shook her head sadly as Luke finished his speech. "But Luke, she's my granddaughter and she loves you and, and I will not make fun of the flannel for a month!" pouting she delivered her final blow, "please?" she looked up at him with her best impression of Rory and he knew he was defeated, had been from before she even entered the diner, it was probably best to just admit to himself he was putty in Lorelai Gilmore's hands.
He let out a sigh and immediately recognising it as a sign of defeat a grin lit Lorelai's features, "thank you Luke!" she cried and kissed him happily on the lips. Disgruntled at being so effectively manipulated he poured her some coffee telling her to, "Don't gloat, drink".
"I love it when you get butch!" she replied mock seductively and then promptly giggled at her play on his high school nickname.
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Crap not so crap? review please if you feel like it, no pressure.