Cliff diving.

The thought about it had been running through my mind all day. What would it feel like? Would it hurt hitting the water? That was a stupid question. Jacob had told me he would jump with me. he would probably absorb the shock of hitting the water. I probably wouldn't even feel a thing. And to think I was actually going to jump off a cliff 100 feet up in the air in just a few days. How stupid of me. well I had been acting really stupid lately. I had been doing better about Ed-him. I could actually think about his name and not come to tears…sometimes. It still hurt though, but Jacob was helping me just as I had expected. I had opened myself up to Jacob and we were…exploring our feelings for each other. I had decided that Edward was never coming back but that Jacob would never leave me and I was comforted in that thought. Besides, with Jacob, things were some what even. At least in the fact, that he wasn't too far out of my league. I had realized Edward had been my celebrity crush so to speak. A crush that I had loved with all of my heart, but there was no way he could love some one so far down on the social scale compared to him that it was downright stupid of me to believe he ever could. Things with Jacob were fairer. We had the same background mostly, the same morals and values, and even though he happened to be a werewolf he was still down to earth. Unlike…him. So here I was now, about to jump off a cliff with a werewolf. Somewhere in the back of my mind I recalled that had he been here I would have never exhibited such reckless behavior. But he wasn't here so what was stopping me? I had come to realize lately how very overbearing he had been the whole time he had been in my life. I had made me love him no less, but it reminded me that while he was here I had had no other life but him. Now that he was gone I had a better relationship with Angela, and I found that Lauryn wasn't so bad all the time. Not all the time just every once in a while.

Jacob and I were on a dating basis, if anyone asked that's what I told them, but with him we were more just the friends we had always been, with a slight deference being that sometimes his hands lingered longer than necessary on the lower half of my back, or he would steal a kiss every now and then. Then again every once in a while I would steal one back, so he wasn't alone in his crimes. He was so solid, I had found out. There wasn't a single part of his anatomy that made me seriously wonder whether or not he took steroids. Of course he wouldn't need it being the wolf that he is. He's just naturally really buff, with a six pack to die for.

We were still best friends though. If I ever needed to talk to anyone he was the first person I would go to. then again most girls did that with they're boyfriends. And that's what Jacob was, my boyfriend. After all Edward had been gone for 8 months now. Apparently he wasn't coming back so why should I wait for him when I had Jacob here. And Jacob loved me. Jacob wouldn't leave me taking every memory of him I had away from me and saying that it would be as if he never existed. Jacob would never leave me alone to cry myself to sleep every night, if I slept at all. Jacob obviously loved me more than Edward had. Not that I blamed Edward, after all I had always known that I could never compare to the sheer beauty of vampires.

But what had hurt me the worst about his leaving was the fact the rest of the family had left too. Every one of them left without a single backward glance, or even a goodbye. Apparently they also hadn't loved me as much as they had claimed.

But at least I had Jacob.

Speaking of Jacob I stood up from my place on the couch as I heard the familiar roar of his motorcycle as he pulled up into the driveway for our "date" at Emily and Sam's house. It was kind of a weekly affair nowadays. We would all go over there and watch a movie. The couples that always showed were me and Jacob, Sam and Emily, Jared and Kim, Embry and his new girlfriend Katy and Quil. Quil didn't have a girlfriend but he came to our movie night every Saturday and just hang with us. We all prayed silently that Quil would find a girl to bring to one of our date nights one of these days. But of course that was impossible with him spending so much time with Claire. Although it was adorable the way he loved and treated her, he needed to find someone his own age to occupy his time with now. Claire would understand later in life when they were a happy couple.

Jacob bounded up the steps to the front porch and politely rang the bell. Normally if Charlie wasn't there he would just bust through the front door without warning scaring the life out of me. But when Chief Swan was home he was a very polite gentleman.

I slowly walked to the door and opened it. I was immediately snatched through the doorway and encircled in burning arms a awarded a searing kiss that was only broken by Charlie's loud coughing in the background from where he stood in the living room looking at us with a smile on his face. My face was on fire, but Charlie seemed not to notice.

"sorry Chief, couldn't resist." He said smiling back at Charlie.

"ok, well anyway, time to go. Bye dad." I said over my shoulder as I attempted to drag Jacob out the door.

Charlie said goodbye back and then mumbled something about not doing what he wouldn't. That certain remark got a laugh out of Jacob.

I waited for Jacob to get on first, then I climbed on behind of him. At first I had been a bit antsy about ridding the back of one of these things where I couldn't control it if we decided to crash, but Jacob had soon calmed my fears with how excellent a driver he was. after our bike incidents, we had decided that I was spending too much time in the hospital and I should probably stop before I killed myself. Besides there was really no reason for me to want to anymore, my hallucinations were practically gone. I only heard his voice once when he warned me not to do something, then he would go quiet. So I had given the bike up. Jacob hadn't though, he loved it. So I just got on behind him and put my arms around his waist and my head on his shoulder. Normal.

The motorcycle started with a roar and then settled down into an idle. This wasn't one of those rinky dink ones you'd probably find at a garage sale. Nope this was a big Harley. I had been happy when Jacob had given up on the rabbit for a while, and instead of it he had opted for this. A big, scary, potentially harmfully motorcycle; way to go Jake, try to kill me why don't you, don't I try that often enough? I don't need your help.

With Jacob behind the "wheel" we were in La Push in less that 10 minutes. Usually it took me 15 but this thing could actually go over 60 miles per hour, and not be pushing it to its limits.

Jacob turned down the side roads that lead to Emily's and we were less than five minutes away. I playfully nibbled on Jacob's ear. His soft chuckle could not only be heard it shook through his body. I laughed with him. I kissed him once on the back of the neck by his ear then I rested my head back down on the side of his shoulder.

We found everyone in their usual spots. We were a few minutes late but it was still only previews. Jacob went over to the couch and sat in our normal seats and I had no more sat down that he pulled me to him and kissed me. I laughed and kissed him back briefly, then we settled in for the movie, not that we ever really paid attention. Usually Jacob was too preoccupied with my hands, or mouth, whichever he could reach first. Jacob wasn't one to fidget, but he never stopped playing with my fingers, he would intertwine them and when he would do that he would stroke the back of my thumb with his own; then he would take them both and cross them over my chest. He never let me get too far away from him, he had too much fun making me mad because he wouldn't stop messing with my hands. he would fake agitation when I got far enough out of his grasping range that he couldn't pull me to him at anytime. Which was why I decided it was time for popcorn.

I stood and though I could tell he wasn't happy about it he let me go. I walked towards the kitchen. Emily stood and followed me. that would keep any of the guys from deciding to "help", because if Emily and I were in the same room alone then we were usually talking about girl things. And the guys tended to stay as far away as possible from us when we were talking about those things. Somehow it made them uncomfortable, though I never could guess why.

The bright light in the kitchen caught me by surprise and I had to cover my eyes for a moment while they adjusted. I hadn't noticed how dark it had been in the other room until had walked into this normal lighting and was blinded.

When I could see again I walked over to the pantry very carefully so as to not bump into anything. I didn't see the popcorn at first, but after digging a bit I found it hidden behind a box of Cheesy Mac. I pulled out two bags, tore open the plastic and popped them into the microwave pressing the Popcorn button twice to it would cook them at the same time. Then I settled into one of the cushioned chairs and talked to Emily until I heard the beeping of the microwave. I stood, and went and got the popcorn. I shook it a bit to make sure all of it had popped all the way, then Emily and I made our way back into the living room. Jacob immediately pulled me onto his lap, but I still had to rise back up and hand the other bag to Quil. It was so sad, he never brought anyone, yet he came every week as if it were the most natural thing in the world.

The rest of the night passed uneventfully and the movie ended on a happy note. We even discussed the jump we would be doing in a few days since this would be the last time I would see anybody until then. They didn't really have any advice other than to hold onto Jacob and let him absorb the shock of the fall when we hit the water. I assured that even if they hadn't suggested that I would have been clinging very tightly to Jacob anyhow. It made everyone laugh even though they knew how serious I was. I really would be clinging onto Jacob for dear life.

Jacob and I said our goodbyes and climbed onto the motorcycle. We headed home but before we got there Jacob turned onto a side road I had never noticed before. Apparently no one else had ever noticed It either, because there was absolutely no traffic to or from the back road. Jacob pulled over and helped me off after he had slid off himself. He pulled me onto the grass and sat down leaning against a tree. He beconed me over, so I went and sat down in between his legs and let my head rest against his broad chest. His muscle mass never ceased to amaze me. and the sad part was he was only 16! He wasn't even done growing yet, even for a wolf!

He sighed and pulled my arms around me intertwining our fingers.

"Bella,"

"Hmm?" I said softly back. If I wasn't careful I could fall asleep in his arms, just like I used to do with Ed- him­ almost every night.

"what are you really thinking about? I mean about saturday. Are you just pretending to not be scared? Its not like you Bella. I was expecting you chicken out at least once." None of this was said in humor so I treated it as such.

"but I'm not scared Jake. How can I be scared with such a huge werewolf protecting me?" he nodded his head in agreement.

He was silent for a while longer before standing and saying we should get back before Charlie became worried. I agreed quickly and jumped back onto the mororcycle thinking about how sensitive my special werewolf was.