Delta has re-done this chapter!!!! Yay!!!!

This is to be the Queen of all AUs, hopefully inspiring others to write something better. Do it. I write so you people will write.

Anyway... Au. Just about every world you can imagine; samurai, vampires, insane asylums, businessmen, SeeD, married a wife of a brother, incest, and then some. And those are just the situations.

This is all Seifer/Zell. And there's other pairings, too, I just have no will to write them down right now.

I apologize, I cant seem to get quotations to work, so it is hectic and means updates will most likely be nonexistent. This is why all conjunctions have no apostrophe. Japanese keyboards plus fanfiction net is really... not a user-friendly combination.

Let us begin.

Life One

Chapter One

There was nothing more beautiful than these mountains, Zell decided as he touched his jyuzu lightly, when the air blew through the trees. A wave of rippling green flowed through them, like a song sung in perfect unison. The monk took these moments much more seriously now, since Deiling-sama had come to power. Since his reign, war had been brewing, and everyone knew it. And the Balamb Monks, and the SeeD temple, they were to be peacekeepers. He was carrying what the monks had given him for this journey: the kitousyo, the jyuzu, the pack of the best quality tea powder ever, and the memories.

There were lots of memories, but it was best to think on the beauty before him, untouched by man's hands, untouched by anything but nature itself. The monk stopped by a stream to drink, taking off his traveling hat, moving his jyuzu so they wouldn't get wet, and drank. As he placed his hands down, he could clearly see his face. Blue eyes, blonde hair- a child of a foreigner, that's what he was. He'd never get a special position in life, doomed to be the child out of wedlock- so that's why his parents had...

Father had...

It was an ugly tattoo. A marking, a statement after he'd tried to run away from the Yakuza boss. The tattoo on his back wasn't enough, no, the evil man had fixed his face, and it suited the boy. But Zell had hated the meaning, and he turned away from his reflection.

The monks, they had saved him. They rescued a slave boy and taught the out-of-wedlock-child to read and write, to fight, to meditate. He was lucky, and he'd known it. Most children like him were drowned the instant they were born. The monks had given him more than a rice famer's life could have given him, more than a poor samurai could have given him. In their compassion Zell was reborn, remade into his monk self.

Perhaps this was why Zell didn't like the outside world, away from the monks. He didn't understand people, rigid societies, classes. And he had a deep, undying hate for the Yakuza, his only flaw the monks could not take away. Timber Town made its way to his eyes and Zell watched as the sun seemed to set on it, making him sure it was where he would sleep. They weren't expecting him tonight- he was making very good time, two days early. Onwards he went, into the quiet little village and passed several people. His first thought was how unenlightened they were; but that soon stopped, as he himself was unenlightened. Freshly made a monk, freshly given a journey. Perhaps he could find his enlightenment here.

A dog barked at him, wanting to play. Zell smiled and continued walking, trying to find the temple. It was big, but it was-

"You lost?" came a voice, and the monk turned to see a ronin, watching his move like a hawk. But this ronin was unlike most; he too, had blonde hair and green eyes. He waited, giving a cold smile, and Zell huffed and moved past him, right into a scene of two... well, Zell turned back the other way, a little paler. The ronin laughed. "That's what I thought. You scream greenhorn, monk."

"I don't need patronizing, Ronin," Zell told him curtly. There was a whack and the man had slapped him, but Zell caught his feet and had forced the ronin fall into the mud, dirtying his kimono and well, making a jolly good laughingstock out of the man.

"Monk!" The ronin roared, going for his katana. "You've crossed the line!" Zell braced himself, dodging the sword swiftly, trying to keep his things out of harms way.

"Don't underestimate me, you masterless scourge!" Zell yelled back, and the battle continued, the ronin swinging, Zell dodging until Zell realized the samurai had lost interest in hitting him. He moved away, and the ronin gave a cold smile, sheathing his sword.

"Impressive, for a baby bird," he remarked, glaring at the two people that had made the boy turn pale. They shrieked and ran off, clothing loose and confidence shattered. "Little fledgling, where is your temple?" Zell gripped his jyuzu tightly, trying not to loose his anger. He had already been foolish today, no need to loose his temper. Seifer continued. "Or maybe you are returning to your tattoo's roots, huh?"

The monk snapped. He flew at the ronin, who was forced into the dirt yet again. Zell kept his hands at the samurai's throat until the two heard a clapping sound. Zell turned, to his horror, to see Watts-sensei, leader of the Seed temple of Timber. "Ah, so brilliant, Zell-kun! Your technique is flawless!"

Zell stood, bowing, not trying to say anything because it was rather pointless with this man, and that shame ate its way around him. Watts-sensei continued as the ronin got up and turned away. "You are making such good time on your journey, too! Bring your bodyguard, please, come!"

The ronin froze, hands slightly shaking. Zell stared at him, too, the same thing going through their minds. "Bodyguard?" The ronin turned around, staring straight at the mad-man and tried hard not to kill them both. Watts-sensei grinned. "Yes! It is dangerous walking around by yourself nowadays." He turned for them to follow. "And it keeps your training skills sharp! It almost looked like a real fight!"

The two followed in silence for quite some distance. Zell wondered why the ronin was joining him, not fleeing, while the ronin was thinking about how many free meals he could get if he played this out. Watts-sensei lead them through meandering streets until they reached the torii and then they all entered a mountainous path. The ronin seemed to falter a bit, but the monks were used to it, like mountain yaks and goats.

"Why are your temples up so high?" the ronin whined, almost out of breath.

"Too tough for you, wandering dishonored?" Zell asked, and Watts-sensei stopped.

"Zell-kun," came his voice. "This man has the honor of guarding you." His voice held anger at Zells own outburst, and Zell bowed an apology. The ronin gave a grin- until Watts-sensei turned on him. "You should be silent, guard."

As they reached the temple, Zell could see its fame was well-placed. Beautiful trees grew around it, in it, part of a meditation or a storybook, he wasn't sure. It was beyond beautiful, even if he'd been misplaced with the Ronin.

"Forgive us on the short preparations, the head monk told them. "Please, feel free to enter the baths, you must be weary. Sleep early, or join us at dinner…" Watts sighed as he passed a wilting sapling. "Have you encountered rain?"

"Not since Balamb," Seifer stated quickly.

"A bad omen," Watts-sensei agreed. "Rain should be coming nonstop in this season, but…" he trailed off, thinking of other matters. "Oh, well. Zell, you should know our design; it's just like your Balamb temple. One of our monks-in-training will assist you- we must wash those clothes, of course." He clapped his hands and four younger monks appeared, suddenly undressing Seifer and leading the sputtering ronin away.

Zell smirked at the ronin's obvious uncomfortable appearance. It was made so by the fact of the blonde hair of a bastard- He stopped on that note. Wasn't he a bastard child himself?

"I wish to see the garden," he stated, wanting these thoughts to be gone. Watts-sensei nodded and they entered into a small area, filled with sand and rocks. No one was using it, yet it was so peaceful.

"Please, go ahead," came Watts-sensei's voice. Zell sat down, trying to clear his thoughts, but the words came anyway.

…………

The ronin didn't complain at the food, a free meal was a free meal, no matter how weird the food was. It was rather awkward in this temple, especially since Zell hadn't come in. Rain had finally begun to fall hours ago and still no monk. At least he was eating with the younger, not-yet monks, which was good. They appreciated good gossip, and told him many things, such as Zell's mission to meet Deling-sama. Why it was Zell, no one knew. But all agreed it was a suicide mission, and Zell was progressing much faster down the trail than most- perhaps to finally find enlightenment before death.

Zell was the name of the monk, Seifer learned. Half-Japanese, half-Dutch, a bastard child monks adopted- no one was sure about the tattoo, however. "Foreigners always have a tattoo at birth," said one boy, coming in. One look at Seifer, however, and the particular child excused himself and went to serve out some horrid punishment.

Seifer was taken to his room, the bath taken before dinner, and the door slid behind him. Automatically, Seifer rolled his eyes. Two futons, right next to each other lay before him. This temple was horrible. Even his yukata was itchy. He needed someone to bitch to, wear was the stupid baby monk?

This ended up in a search throughout the temple. There were giggles in the shared quarters (Monks weren't really all that holy, Seifer decided), silence in the great halls, the toilet was empty. The monk couldn't have been outside, so he moved to the last place- the baths. He managed to spot Zell inside one, way after hours and by now the water must have been freezing. Baby monk was taking off his things, and so Seifer watched shamelessly, licking his lips like the lecher he was. The assistant took his things and bowed, moving away, but Seifer's eyes never left Zell. Oh, Seifer had never seen anything like him. Beautiful muscles rippled as Zell washed himself, then entered the bath. He flinched as the cold water met his waist, but alone. Baby monk wasn't really a baby, oh no.

What was the most interesting, however, was the tattoo along his back, so detailed and stunning. It seemed somewhat warped, and on further inspection, Seifer realized what it meant. Baby monk had been a sex-boy for a very powerful Yakuza boss before the monks had found him. For the monks to accept him, Zell must have done something. Seifer didn't think that even monks would accept him after that shame. Sure, kids were sent to monasteries all the time, but many were refused because they could not deal with such a strict life. Baby monk must not have really had a choice.

The assistant returned, somehow relieved to see Seifer. "Please, give these clothes to him," he asked, running off. The samurai growled. Now he was the monk's maid.

He entered the room, setting the clothes somewhere dry. The monk hadn't noticed, and so Seifer took off his shoes and placed on the ones for the bathroom, walking in. "Shame on you," Seifer told him. Rather than jump, Zell moved to face Seifer, but Seifer knew the movement too well. The monk was hiding his back.

"Why are you here, you mas- ronin," Zell corrected himself. "A free meal or two?"

"It's a job," Seifer told him, shrugging. "An adventure. Follow you around and see what'll happen- really, this has been my first time inside a temple." He waved a hand dismissively. "I've already seen the tattoo. Impressive god."

Zell glared, but his shoulders relaxed. "I've never seen it. I'm told it's a dragon."

"And a dog," Seifer replied. "A dog with three heads."

Zell gave a short laugh, completely un-humorous. Seifer shrugged. "It's not easy being a bastard son," he stated, knowing Zell's feelings exactly. "I'm not a true samurai because of it." The monk bit his lip, unsure of what to say. Seifer gave a slight smile. "I have respect for you, monk. I'll guard your ass on this journey because it sounds interesting."

"I'm Zell. Call me Zell."

"Sure thing, monk. I'm Seifer."

"Ronin," Zell muttered angrily, standing up. He said other things, too, but Seifer was trying too hard not to look to pay attention, and turned and left. The hall was suddenly filled with silence and Seifer could feel the slightest pangs of empathy for the monk, and quickly tried to kill them. He crawled into his futon, waiting for the monk.

Zell appeared, right on cue. The white yukata fit him, and Zell shut the door, moving the pillow onto the floor and blew out the candle.

"Can't sleep on the floor, monk?" the ronin asked curiously. "Training, or-"

Suddenly Zell was on top of him, knees on either side of his hips, chest on his, breath over his mouth. Seifer was risen in an instand, this like a dream. Oh, yes, you naughty little monk, Seifer's willing… Zell pressed his fingers into Seifer's neck, grinning as the ronin passed out. That would keep him quiet. He made to move off the ronin, but for a moment he felt something that scared him, forcing him to jump onto the floor. He checked the ronin again.

Nothing, he realized. The ronin was only slightly hard, due to the pressure point he'd pressed. But still…

Not more of that, no more, he wanted to be a monk so he would never have that experience again. Shakily, Zell got up, walking toward the door. He needed meditation.

…………

Seifer awoke with a slight headache. Darkness was all around him, and the monk had gone.

The monk. Seifer growled as he remembered the passing out, but shuddered pleasantly at the memory. Oh, that would haunt him. Best to find the monk now, before he did something stupid like picture them together in the baths.

Seifer winced. It was his job now. Willing himself to calm, he opened the door and searched the temple again and nothing. The monk couldn't have been stupid enough to go out in the rain, could he? Hurriedly he moved to where the shoes were kept and noted Zell's missing from the pile. He put on his own sandals and took a step, seeing Zell's white yukata in the distance.

As he approached, Zell turned to look at him with big, empty eyes. "Stupid idiot!" Seifer shouted. "You'll catch cold out here! It's freezing!"

'I'm fine," Zell told him, "We monks can keep our body temperatures up."

"You've been crying," Seifer stated suddenly, putting the pieces together. The shock softened his voice, and took Zell off-guard. The monk stood, not wanting to explain himself.

They walked back in silence. As they neared the door, Seifer heard something uttered behind his back. "Everyone uses me."

The ronin laughed curtly. "Everyone uses someone. The emperor uses his underlings, they use their samurai, who use their samurai, who use their farmers, who use…" Seifer stopped. "We're always being used, Zell. Humans in themselves are tools."

It didn't restore the light to Zell's eyes, so Seifer sighed, undoing his obi as the shoes are replaced. Zell jumped back, but Seifer gripped his shoulders firmly. "Your yukata is wet and cold," he informed. "As your new bodyguard, I have to keep you safe for my free meals." He started working on undressing Zell, and then helping the blonde into a bigger yukata, though they were almost the same. Seifer wasn't sure, but Zell seemed bright red, or maybe it was the light. Candlelight did make everything red, Seifer remembered.

"Master Zell?" came a sleepy voice. "What disturbs you?"

"Late-night meditation," Seifer responded for him. "His clothes are wet; I've given him mine." The monk-in-training nodded and ran off to put them away. Seifer led Zell to their room, watched to make sure Zell was in the futon and shut the door.

"Wait… where are you-"

"Toilet," came the Ronin's response, and Zell fell quiet, either asleep or trying to meditate more, Seifer couldn't tell. He quickly made his way down the hall. He had no shame in wearing so little. Oftentimes he had done worse things for attention, never inside the Japanese mind, yet Japanese.

He opened the door to the toilet stalls, and who should be standing before him but Watts-sensei. In Seifer's opinion he was the creepiest man on the planet so far. "Ah, Seifer-san. What a night, eh?"

"Eh," Seifer hoped to respond and leave it at that.

Watts-sensei continued, however. "Take care of Zell-kun, please," came his quiet reply. "The boy knows we pity him, though we never tell him. The boy wants to find his enlightenment desperately, yet knows he keeps himself from it. Please, aid him." With that, Watts-sensei left Seifer to take the most uncomfortable piss in his life.

When Seifer arrived back into the room, the baby monk had managed to now use two futons to sleep on, rather than one. He was breathing softly and gave a moan as Seifer sighing, pushed him off a little, able to get into the covers. Zell instantly grabbed his side and held the ronin fast, curling up to him. Seifer didn't fight it, he only placed blankets on top of Zell as well. Cautiously, he traced the tattoo on the blonde as he marveled at the monk. So perfectly innocent, he decided. Something he himself could never be.

...end chapter one...

Jyuzu- prayer beards

kitoushyo- buddhist scripture book

tattoo- in the old days, only those associated with the yakuza (Japanese mafia) had tattoos. Zell is blonde and thats not found in Japanese society. Yay for making up backstory.

ronin- a masterless samurai, usually for hire, usually not highly thought of.

Scourge- really, just an excuse to write it.

torii- gateway to a shrine.

yak- yeah, really, just another excuse to write it.

yukata- cotton kimono. It should really be nemuki, but I think I've given enough Japanese for one fic.