The Truth of Haruhi Suzumiya 1
North High Week before graduation
Okay let me get this straight how did I survive Haruhi's anger and constant bickering on who is the next club president FYI Haruhi I think no one on the face of the universe will join this godforsaken club of no meaning. Thinking about new presidents and me downgrading Haruhi's club I suddenly realize that I am a senior in High School. Since when did I go through another one of Asahina's time loop thingy or did I go like normal people would.
Just then I seen Haruhi walk in along with my other friends and her so called "Soldiers" "Hey Kyon! we need to set up a end of they year party what you think!" HARUHI said as she slammed her hand on the table knocking over my tea. "Don't worry Kyon I will make more" Mikuru said as she poured another cup of tea for me.
"Haruhi I do not think we will have a end of the year party because I think we need to study for finals." I said as Haruhi flocked her hair and walked off and sat in the Brigade's chair in front of the stolen computer.
"KYON!" Haruhi yelled at me and I flinched and I still let my tea fell on the floor. Damn. "WHAT!" I said to Haruhi "WE SHOULD DO A SHOW IN FRONT OF THE ENTIRE SENIOR CLASS!" She said headlocking me in her arm. "From this point forward we will work on our plan for the show!" HARUHI said accidentally punching me in the face while she was cheering.
We walked from the harsh clubroom while Mikuru held my hand and gave me note. I opened it and it was a letter and a address.
Dear Kyon
Hi! Um can we meet please bring Koizumi and Nagato and Haruhi we will be going on a final club trip into the future! Be there and if you ask me questions I will answer them!-Mikuru XOXO
This has potential I get to finally ask Mikuru all of the questions that have been unanswered for so long. Wait the future then is this a lesson on what we should change or she wants to scare me which can happen in the future.
Later in the evening I pulled Haruhi from her condo in Akibara. It went like this- I knocked on her door and she opened it and she said "What are you doing here?" She said as I said "Um we are going on a final club trip this time the future!" I said as she looked melancholy and shut the door on me! "Wait! we may find out what happened to your parents!" I said she stopped and opened back up the door. "Come in Kyon" She said as I stepped in and she shut the door.
"Kyon hate to say this but you do not want to find my parents in the past and the future" She said turning off "Akame Ga Kill". "Why?" I asked "Kyon this is something I have not told before or none other of the club members. "My Parents died in a alien invasion in Himezawa when I was 11. The aliens took my parents and beat them and one raped my mom butt naked and one raped my dad who was male. They killed them while they left me behind. But a person who I don't want to meet or I want anyone else to meet is "God". God was behind me and he said "Found you" God said as she put his cold old hands over my mouth and dragged me into his cave.
"Sounds like God is the devil or some grim reaper" I said "He is not the devil or the fake god we all believe is real. He is the true Grim Reaper and the true gate to heaven or hell. When we were first came to this earth there lived a alien who visited earth when we began as fish. He seen the fish to eat but when he laied eyes on the fish he decided that he would make a gene in them to grow legs and the basic essentuals we need to survive the oxygen of the earth.
So when cavemen roamed the earth God visited and he shook all of their hands and took a blood sample of them and studied them in the cave I was pulled in to. He made a advanced gene that would make us into the people we are today. But getting back he looked like he had a skull mask on but he had no eyes and he had cold boney hands. With a old stick and a symbol on his forehead. It was the ancient symbol of death in ancient egyptian language. He told me that "Never become happy my child or if you do I will hunt you down and kill you and send you to hell Missy" He said as he pushed me and he vanished without a trace. That is why I am so Melancholy thats why I want everyone else to feel miserable like me because I dealt with it myself." She said as she started to cry and she hugged me and cried like a innocent high school girl who just gotten dumped. "Its okay Haruhi. I know what we have to do" I said "We have to face him ourselves and battle him and hopefully change you and the world" I said
Haruhi looked up at me and said "No you can't he is way too powerful for a mere human to handle! he has adavanced technology then ours!" She said stomping her feet on the ground "We have Nagato and Koizumi" I said "Not even a Esper can defeat him and not even Nagato either. We need some kind of a soul catcher like you see in "Ghostbusters"" She said "You mean we catch him and vanish him forever" I said she nodded
I pulled my phone out and called Mikuru "Yes what is it Kyon?" She said "Change of plans. We are going into the past" I said "What! no you wanted to see the future! And which past are we going to?" She said "Haruhi Suzumiya's timeline meet me at her place in half-n-hour bye" I said as she hung up the phone
"Mikuru who was that and why are you trembling?" Koizumi asked Mikuru "Koizumi we are venturing into Suzumiya's timeline" She said "THATS GREAT! we finally found out who god is!" Koizumi said as she said no "Haruhi is not god someone else is,Its not jesus its someone who is evil and made humans as test subjects. God is up there but we need to kill him from his orgion" She said "Himezawa June 16th 1996" She said
"Let the adventure begin" We all said as we held hands and went into the time vortex
The Truth of Haruhi Suzumiya 2
Hinaezawa 1996
"Ow!" Haruhi said as she hit a rock I helped her up "CRAP!" Mikuru said as she got her dress caught on a branch so I helped her accidentally felt her up. She blushed and ran to Nagato. HARUHI looked scared and she was crying as she seen her parents get killed by the aliens. I started to cry too because the person I was being rude too lost someone dear.
I held her she turned her head as they cut them open and she hid in my chest crying. Then I seen young Haruhi watching as a hand grabbed her mouth. We ran as we hid behind a rock and seen God himself he was like the grim reaper but darker and sinister looking. He said the thing Haruhi said as Koizumi stood up and walked in front of his face "Hi never seen you around before you new here?" He said as Young Haruhi looked at Koizumi and God threw Haruhi and current Haruhi felt a sharp pain in her head. Of course what-ever happens to Younger Haruhi,Current Haruhi feels it too.
God tried to punch Koizumi but he slid past him and punched God in the back making him fly out and hit the tree where Haruhi's parents are at. "Kids these days never learn to respect your elders!" God said as he touched Haruhi's dead parents and they came back alive but as zombies fast zombies. Damn Haruhi will never forget this! Then Nagato joined in and punched Zombie dad in the face. Knocked his head clean off but then it grew a new one. God is better than I thought he does have technology far greater than ours.
"Haruhi face you fear send him to the nether realm!" Koizumi said as Haruhi stood up and said the most awesomest thing she has said "I shall face my fears and save my fiends" She said as she walked into the carnage and stood in God's face and said "You are not real you are a fake reject who chooses Elementary school girls. You slimy pervert!" She said as a white wormhole surrounds God but God grabs Haruhi and they both went into the wormhole and we jumped in with them Mikuru grabbed me and threw me in there.
The air was super fast that I cannot feel my face or my entire body. Little shards of hair was coming off my head. I shouldn't but I looked up and I seen Mikuru's yellow cat panties I was blushing and she kicked me full in the face. "KYON YOU PERV!" She said kicking my neck.
When we were out from the wormhole we were in a closed space of Himezawa. "Closed Space but this is not Haruhi's more like God's" I said as Mikuru held my hand as we walked through the dark town. I seen Koizumi help Nagato up from the ground and I see Haruhi in the air with god kissing her a sight I would never see. HARUHI now had a wedding dress on. God had a tuxedo on and there were flowers everywhere.
This a wedding. Damn
"Shall Haruhi Suzumiya take God sensei as your beloved husband?" The priest said as Koizumi "We must end this" He said as he glowed and was ready to fight.
Koizumi ran to God and punched him in the face making some of his bone fly off his face. He had souls come out from the crack. I grabbed Haruhi and grabbed a gun and pointed it at the priest and I said "My name is Kyon I am Haruhi's friend and your exorcist!" I said as I shot him full in the face. Blood sprayed from his face and splattered on the ground.
Koizumi was fighting God but Koizumi got stabbed by his hand. Koizumi fell back spitting blood everywhere. God still had souls coming from the crack when he turned to Nagato. I totally forgot about Asahina so I searched for her then I found her. But she had someone else with her then it was herself. In the anime world we call it ourself but in scientific terms its our Nega self. Mikuru looked mad as Nega Asahina smirked and Mikuru flew up and did a chant.
A pink magic circle appeared underneath her as she grabbed two talismans. So she's also a magician. Funny. "So Nega-self when did you finally show up?" Mikuru said as she was expecting this. "Oh other me I always had the date imprinted in my mind" Nega-Asahina said as she was in a fighting stance ready to fight.
Mikuru summoned a dragon like you see in Pokemon or something so did Nega-Asahina. But Mikuru's was a blue diamond dragon that you see in greek myths. When I looked back at Nagato she was kicking god's butt like it was nothing. But Haruhi seen me and she ran I followed her and she went into a old castle on a hill.
She ran into the castle as lighting crashed in the sky like some cheesy 50's horror movie. I ran into the castle expecting a haunted castle but it was elegant like you see in England. "Sir please attend Miss Suzumiya's party we would like you to attend" The butler said as he took my North High coat. I walk into the dining room and I see Haruhi at the other end of the table. "Kyon been waiting" Haruhi said as I sat down at the other end.
"Haruhi what the hell is going on!" I said "This is completely your doing you entered my deranged mind that no human should not have entered!" HARUHI said as the butler brung us dinner. Which was Chicken Miso Soup and Rolled Egg Omelets. "HARUHI! come back with us you do not belong here!" I said "I DO belong here because this is where I once was when I was born" Haruhi said as she sipped her Miso Soup. "If you want me to come back you have to find something for me" She said "What is it?" I asked
"Find my portirat in the castle this castle is big but you have three hours. If you do not come back in three hours you will be stuck here" She said "Where is this so called Portrait of yours?" I asked "Top floor but I just got news that it has been moved into the maze in back. So you have to travel through the maze in order to find it. Time starts now!" She said
I ran out from the castle and ran into the back I sense something evil in the maze. I waltz right in there not knowing what lies ahead.
The Truth of Haruhi Suzumiya 3
The maze was rather decent actually there was jumpscares like crazy like some old nintendo game. But there were certain clues around the maze I exmamine them but then I hear a loud growl then I dash grabbed the clue on accident. I tripped on some vines that was live and grabbing my pants so I took them off. Please Mikuru do not come in here with my ugly heart boxers. I ran and ran but I hit a dead end so I grabbed my knife and started to chuck away at the maze wall.
A hole started to form but the monster was around the corner so I kicked the wall and the whole wall fell down and I climbed on the wall. I can see how big the maze is it was…"Small" I jumped over the legdes and found her portirat.
I walked back to the castle slamming the panting on the table breaking the table. "Good job on cheating" Haruhi said as she retrieved her panting and hung it up. "Well Shit" Haruhi said as he hung up the phone "Apperentally we are going through another time loop brace yourself Kyon!" HARUHI said as the castle twirled and pieces of wall started to come off. I seen a vortex in the middle of the castle and we fly up into the vortex.
We landed on some field and I seen Mikuru falling right above me so I catch her and she hugged me. NAGATO just floated in the air. "HARUHI! where in the hell are we anyway!?" I said as she turned to me "Bosnia. When the Serbs attacked Bosnian Muslems" Haruhi said flocking her hair back.
"So we are right in the middle of the most baddest genocide there is!" I said "Prehaps it was Mikuru's little stunt that we are here in the first place" Haruhi said flicking Mikurus nose "Ochie!" Mikuru said in the cutest voice ever. I heard screams and gunshots we hid under the table. We seen the serbs rape a woman right in the lawn. "The Serbs are animals" I said as I turned to Mikuru with anger "So Asahina how in the hell do we get out of here before You Nagato and Haruhi be the serbs slaves?" I said
"Um we have to find the tallest thing in this area and jump off" Mikuru said "Just like in Men in Black 3!" Koizumi said "WHEN DID YOU GET HERE!?" We all yelled.