I don't own Harry Potter.
I am going to kill Harry Potter. He has been put on this earth to make my life miserable. I can't stand it any more. So now, I have to kill him.
Wow, I just read over that and that makes me sound like You-Know-Who. Well I'm not. I'm Ron Weasley, Harry's ex-best friend. He's my ex-friend because he just humiliated me at a Prefects meeting and he wasn't even there!
I should back up and explain what happened. Today is the first day of our Sixth Year and the Head Boy called for a meeting. Before the meeting, I saw Harry eating some Muggle candy called Jolly Ranchers. It looked good so I asked for a piece. I popped it in my and headed to the meeting. That's no the bad part.
I bit into the candy and I suddenly couldn't open my mouth. The stupid piece of candy cemented my teeth together! And that's not the worst part. I was already outside the room we were meeting in and people saw me so I couldn't run.
I tried to pry my mouth apart but it worse than Hagrid's treacle tarts. I couldn't open my mouth at all. I started to lick at the candy hoping that it would melt quickly.
It wasn't meant to happen. Twenty minutes into the meeting and the Head Boy was asking questions. When he asked me something, I tried to answer but my mouth wasn't moving. I made some sounds and everyone just looked at me.
The candy was finally loose enough and I managed to tell them my mouth was stuck. When they saw the candy, they all laughed. Even Hermione laughed at me before she tried every spell she could think of to pry the candy loose.
Nothing worked.
So now I'm looking for Harry to kill him. Well I'm also hiding from Hermione because she trying to stop me. But it won't work because I have a fool proof plan. Hah. Do you really think I'd write it down? No, you'll just go and tell Harry that I am going to kill him.
I see him now so I have to go. If I succeed, tell Hermione that she's weird.
A/N. This really did happen to me. So this is my way of warning everyone of the dangers of Jolly Ranchers. Please review.