Solitude

Pairing: hints at S/C

Warnings: Character death

Disclaimer: Not mine. CBS runs that ship...

A/N: Written from several points of view... all mistakes are totally mine.

All she wanted was a simple answer, Why? Why did he have to be taken, why were the circumstances of that day so obvious? Why couldn't she see the signs that pointed to this horrific moment. The moment where she stood at the foot of his grave, weeping for him. Her heart ached to feel his touch once more, to see his beautiful spirit. There was nothing left, nothing but turmoil, grief, and solitude. He had left her alone, alone with the memories of what could've been. Of what should've been. Sitting in the shadows of his love, she bowed her head against the coolness of the stone, her desire to join him becoming great. But she knew that it wasn't to be, not just yet.

He couldn't rest. His eyes flickered open at the sound of what sounded like gunshots, it ringing in his ears. Even a year later, he still couldn't let the sound go. His desire was to be able to push the images out of his mind, the sound of him losing his breath as he fought like mad to remain, and the loosening grip that proceeded him as freedom from pain took him away. He wanted to forget the bond that had been forged between them, mentor to protege' , friend to friend. Slowly as he got up to greet the sun, he felt the heaviness creep up once more. There would be no forgetting.

She turned at the phantom sound as she walked into her domain. Today was the hardest day she had to face. He was no longer there. Sadness crept up her spine as she breathed in deeply, remembering the shattering of her being as he laid in front of her. Just as quickly , a feeling of serenity passed over her and she smiled lightly as she opened the door. She had trust that he was somewhere better now, somewhere where he could no longer feel pain, or worry. Somewhere safe. Her boy was home, waiting for them to join one day.

The drive was one of reflection, he trying to focus on the good times, instead of the one that faced him. The times that they had shared as coworkers and as friends, being diminished with the news of his passing. It was a senseless act, and he felt distraught over not protecting him. He should've been the one to step up, to make sure. Isn't that what friends were for? But instead, he took for granted that it was being taken care of, and now, as he sat in the heat of the day, the revenge he wanted to take out for his demise, was dwindling. He had no one to go after, he realized. Random choices made, set the events in motion, and now he stood alone without his partner, his friend.

He watched them as they went about their days, feeling the intense sorrow for leaving them. They were his family, his center. If he could take it back, he could, but it was not to be. Destiny's design had another job for him, one that required solitude and tranquility. He would watch over them forever, that was what was given him, a gift and a curse. Eternity.