STRIPPER-TASTIC

by Undercooked

Disclaimer: If I owned Blood , Saya would definately be more stripper-tastic. But I don't. Sad.

PROLOUGE

"Why is every man in the vicinity, of, let's say, THE WORLD, attracted to Saya? I mean, I'm GAY for God's sake, and even I'm feeling her gravitational pull." said the man in the purple shirt and the cowboy boots.

"You know, Nathan, you look like a PMS-ing cow on crack dressed you." observed Karl, whose outfit wasn't much better.

"It's because she's stripper-tastic." offered a humorously deep and scary voice from the other end of the room.

"Stripper-tastic?!" asked Nathan. "Even I, being so awesomely OUT OF THE CLOSET, cannot use that word without being slightly ashamed of myself. Where did you get it?"

"I made it up. I have a lot of spare time to do evil things." the deep, evil voice replied.

"Like making up semi-amusing words is evil?" snorted Karl. "You wanna see evil? Watch 'I Love New York.' That bitch is EVIL!" New York appeared in a thought bubble beside his head and bitch-slapped him.

"Talk to my momma, bitch!" she screamed. New York's UGLY old mother appeared beside her.

"Ima name you Rapunzel 'cuz yo hair is so girly." the old woman said, snapping her fingers. The gay man boredly shot the thought bubble into submission.

"Ha. Rapunzel." he snickered, tossing the gun over his shoulder, where it disappeared into the Anime Dead Zone. All the random props that someone sets down and never seems to pick back up, all the clothing mysteriously ripped into shreds and never mourned, all exist in the Anime Dead Zone. But that's not our main focus right now.

"Nothing is funny." said a black man in a uniform, his voice a hideously boring monotone.

"Yes, James." sighed Nathan. "NOTHING is funny because your African-American brothers are being oppressed. We KNOW."

"I agree with Amshel!" Solomon cried passionately. "Saya is stripper-tastic!"

"So we've reached a decision." said the deep, scary voice. "America's Next Top Model is...Nathan."

"Oh, yay! It's always been my dream to become a model!" squealed Nathan, jumping up and down.

"No, no. I was just screwing with you." the evil voice snickered. "That's SO much fun."

"Hey, you know what?" said Solomon. "You're kind of old, Amshel."

"Thanks. I try." said the evil voic dryly.

"You know what we should totally do?" asked Karl suddenly, his eyes wide.

"What?" asked everyone in unison, exept James, who yelled,

"Segregation is still alive!"

"We should totally make our own T.V. show! A reality show! Where everyone competes to be the most...stripper-tastic!" Karl cried. "We have enough money and a RIDICULOUS amount of time! We should soooooo do it!"

"That's a good evil dedication." said Amshel, stepping out from the shadows.

"You know, you are kind of old." mused Nathan.

"Oh, yeah, I know. Totally not as evil as you'd expect him to look." Karl agreed.

"Shut. Up." sighed Amshel.

And so it began.