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I.
Rachel watches carefully like it's the most interesting thing in the world, yet she can't digest a any of it. It is all as if she is sitting behind a glass wall, just watching as her life changes so dramatically in a matter of hours. Literally, her life has changed in a matter of hours. Just this morning was she lounging across her bed flicking through sheet music trying to decide what solo she should pawn over for sectional, and just an hour ago a Doctor put that hope to rest.
She doesn't even feel it when the nurse slaps her forearm a few times before stabbing a long and obviously thicker needle through her skin, only leaving a small catheter behind. It's so ugly, the catheter, a small clear tube intervening clear liquid into her veins, messing up her insides more and more by the minute.
Rachel finally relaxes back, ignoring the sympathetic and almost guilty looking stares her fathers are sending in her direction, the room she's in is fairly large. Opposite her side are another five small areas created by two symmetrical curtains on either side, each one with the same equipment and furniture.
A fairly small girl, maybe even a toddler, bares a delicate smile as if she knows exactly what's going on, why on Earth is such a small girl allowed to go through so much pain is the only thing Rachel can think. Not that herself deserved any of this, but in all humane ways, a baby girl was so much more innocent.
Some areas are vacant, only a couple more kids of various ages scatter around the room, most of them boys.
She was here but she wasn't meant to be, well, maybe she was. She had just ignored it for so long. When her Father finally demanded she see a Doctor after noticing his Daughters clothes had begun to hang from her already skinny frame and the fact sick days where becoming more and more frequent that ever herself dared think of the outcome.
She knew it though. She knew the moment her Doctor called way too early in the morning, with a frantic tone accidentally lacing his voice that something was seriously wrong. And the thing that completed it for her was the moment just before they left the house for the hospital, both Leroy and Hiram Berry hugged their daughter like no tomorrow, tears hiding behind the lids so badly it was rather pathetic.
Rachel looks back down at the ugly IV line, something she would have to get used to in the next few months. Afterall, this wasn't going away any time soon. And although Rachel Berry was a fighter, something in her had already begun to build a brick wall around her brain, not allowing her to process what was going on. Not that she really wanted to.
It was only twenty minutes later that she learnt why a nurse notified her of the large paper bowl she had purposely left on the table about two metres away. She also learnt next time she should probably leave it a bit closer by.
Before Rachel could do anything, a continues flow of vomit flew right out of her mouth and projected to the floor beneath her, as well as a steady flow of tears exiting her eyes. Of course, her Daddy jumped from his chair right away and began to clean her up and her Dad held her hair as she vomited some more into a suitable basin he had retrieved.
This obviously wasn't unusual in a place like this, in fact a couple of stray parents had the decency to come over and give tips to her overwhelmed parents like how bicarbonate soda helped get the puke stains out of clothes and having some sort of bucket where ever they went was pretty much a must.
All of which just made Rachel cry even more. She didn't want this, she just wanted to go home and forget it was all happening. She wanted to go to school, be with her friends and enjoy glee. But she couldn't and wouldn't for a very long time.
II.
She ever so desperately wanted to get up and close the small developed gap in the side of the curtain, yet the now familiar puke bowl in her lap had become the barrier for her to do so. Two days of chemotherapy was already taking its toll on her, she now sat in über comfortable sweats in an oversized chair with her basin which had practically become attached to her hands.
There it is again: a splutter, a cough and a whoosh of liquid. She was so helpless.
"You know, watching some one puke without their permission is an invasion of privacy."
That guy was getting annoying, she assumed he would get the message an hour ago when she sent him multiple snobby grimaces before grumbling in annoyance. He didn't though. The boy was fairly handsome, hardly any hair on his head and was also sporting a tube into the back of his hand. He rested in an identical chair, with his shrugged off jacket cushioning around his back and a large knitted blanket across his lap.
Just that smile where enough to catch Rachel's attention. But the boy didn't reply, she leant back as much as she could to get a proper glimpse of the intruder, though he shown no reaction.
"Excuse me, I'm talking to you"
But the boy didn't react, he let out one of those obnoxious male chuckles before feigning slight stun. "What's your name?"
"What's it to you?"
"Don't answer a question with a question"
"Don't watch me throw up then!" Rachel suddenly felt grateful for the fact her Fathers felt safe enough to go have a small coffee break with some other parents, she really couldn't have handled them nagging her about how she should stop stressing out for her health's sake. Seriously though, it couldn't get any worse than what it already is.
"Tell me your name" the boy smirked, before she could react he leapt forward just to swipe the curtain outwards even more, making the gap bigger so he could now see her full chair... and the fluffy pink bed socks that resided comfortably on her feet. "Nice socks"
"I could say the same for you" Rachel replied quickly flicking her eyes down at his rainbow striped footwear.
The boy raised his partially blanket covered legs in the air, wriggling his toes in the process. "Don't skit, my Grandma got me these" he joked. She giggled, probably for the first time since she entered the building, and for some unknown reason the guy knew this. "So, will you tell me your name now? since, you know, we've seen each others socks and all, I think we've skipped a couple of steps"
"Rachel, Rachel Berry. And yourself?"
The boy smile with a slight sense of achievement, "Finn."
"Just Finn?"
"Well I do have a second name, it's deciding whether I should share such personal information with you that's the hard part"
He just watched bemused as the girl gently nudged herself forward to get a glimpse of the wall behind the boy in the next cubicle, "Hudson" she said pointing directly at the white board behind him with had his full name pledged in marker pen.
"Oh" Finn smiled quite innocently, "I forgot that where there"
"You wouldn't have had to harass me if you had known" Rachel said smartly. But instead, the boy shrugged "nope, I probably still would have harassed you Rachel Berry" he smirked. Rachel soon settled back in her chair considering her stomach warned her as somersaults began to take place. The doctors had previously told her about this; first time patients who are as small as Rachel tend to suffer the whole length, and she where literally praying the side affects wore off soon.
"You look a little grey..."
Rachel hummed out as she fluttered her eyes closed and slowly inhaled in and out of her nose, "you're best just letting it all out you know? take it from my experience"
"I've let it all out for two days now" she grumbled more than frustrated at the prospect. "Have you tried eating something?"
Rachel let out a loud cackle instantly, "are you insane? eat something? it would stay down for mere seconds"
"Ah but that's the mistake I made; first week of therapy I didn't eat a thing because I where so sick, finally my Mom forced me into doing so and I felt a lot better. In other words, eat something and the puking will stop"
"I don't trust you" Rachel snapped closing her eyes again.
The boy chuckled, "honestly I probably wouldn't trust me either. One minute" she heard shuffling but dared not move, impatience slowly getting the better of her, Rachel cracked open her right eye just enough to get a subtle glimpse of what Finn was doing, except he weren't he weren't in sight at all. "Rachel, this is Craig" she flashed open her sleepy lids and to her surprise saw another boy probably a few years younger than them both with short hair and a fairly muscular body.
"Hi" the innocent boy smiled waving his right hand politely.
In all honesty Rachel was more surprised at the fact for the first time she had seen a cancer kid get up and walk around the room, usually they just sit in their matching chairs looking gormless and inevitably miserable. "Craig here is just. like. us." Finn said directly at her, punctuating each word for emphasis. She was not in the mood for this, however she already knew there where no way out of it.
"So, do yourself a favour and listen to what we say" the older boy started, "I don't need a lecture!"
Finn scuffled forward past the nervous boy and crouched beside his new 'friend', she turned her head to the right clutching her blanket against her chest for comfort. "We're not going to lecture you Rachel Berry, we're here to help."
III.
"You're totally cheating! I mean, this is my game" Rachel exclaimed pointing to the board on the table between them, "I am the trivia queen"
"Yeah well I'm the trivia king" he winked, Finn quite giddily took his next few moves across the squares only to look and see Rachel practically seething in anger. "Don't look so glum, you beat me at soccer, I hate to imagine what that does to my man pride"
"You don't have any left" Rachel said sticking out her tongue, she totally beat him during the small match they had in the hospital gardens earlier that morning.
It had been three weeks of chemo, puking up her guts everyday and feeling weaker than ever. Just a couple of days ago though, after multiple arguments with her Fathers, she finally gave in and allowed them to plant a feeding tube into her stomach.
And within no time her energy levels went back up aswell as her weight, she even managed to snack on some dry crackers and fruit from time to time, proving Finn was right. "Wanna play something else?"
Finn let out a loud chuckle as he leant back in his chair, "as soon as you realise you're going to lose you give up? just like that."
She shied her head down, feeling her cheeks blush thirty different shades of red. This boy could do that to her without any difficulty. But Rachel Berry was always up for a fight, even if that meant near enough making the impossible possible considering the other teenager where so far ahead on the board. "Fine, but be warned Finn Hudson" she said, pointing her finger at him and narrowing her eyes, "I'm gonna kick your ass"
"Ooh Rachel Berry's bringing her A game" he grinned, honestly proud.
"Consider it brought."
Nearly an hour later her Fathers where more than shocked as they checked on their only daughter in the games room, both her and the boy they only knew as another patient where laughing so hard both imagined Rachel's tube being affected. "Rachel?" Hiram said, grabbing her attention as they both shuffled forward.
"Oh hey Daddy!" that was the first time they could recognise any type of happiness in her voice for as long as they could remember.
"What are you up to Pumpkin?" Leroy questioned stepping beside his husband, closer to the nameless boy.
"I'm playing board games with Finn!" they almost wanted to cry at how far apart the corners of her lips where. "And I'm kicking his butt"
"I'm afraid she is... that's five out of five now" Finn replied pulling out a piece of paper from his pocket and scrolling his eyes down it. He had kept toll on their many games throughout the day as in the end he was planning to rub the sheet in her face and prove how manly he was... now Finn guessed that probably wouldn't happen, or maybe it would, Rachel seemed like the bragging type.
Leroy and Hiram didn't want to disturb the conversation both fell into before their eyes, Rachel's facial expression never changed and if anything this boy looked just as happy. "So what's next?"
"There's twister or a giant chess set in the garden?"
They couldn't believe their ears, did this boy actually get their daughter up and walking around instead of being depressed in her room all day? "wait a minute, did I just hear correctly? have you been outside?"
Rachel giggled "yes Daddy, I hope that's okay, we walked past the parent room and saw you guys talking to some other people and so we didn't want to disturb you"
"N-no, that's fine Pumpkin , did you have fun?" Leroy said emotionally.
Before Rachel could explain her smug smile, Finn interfered "Did you know your daughter if kick ass at soccer?"
"Rachel Berry playing soccer? well I never" Leroy teased pinching at his daughters right cheek. "Dad I'll have you know, I am great at soccer" she said, practically emphasizing each word. Over the past few weeks Rachel had hardly left her new hospital room nevermind the actual hospital, and though her Fathers took great guilt in having to leave her alone for short periods of time, they where slowly realising it was doing more good than harm.
Their daughter had finally ventured out of the bubble that had caught her all those weeks ago, and that was more than they could ask for.
IV.
"Are you Rachel Berry?"
At the sounds of another voice, Rachel's eyes rose up just to peek over the book she now had her nose stuck in. The Scarlet Pimpernel was an all time favourite, the only book she had read way more than once. To Rachel's surprise, stood peaking in the doorway rather timidly where a tall, slim boy around her own age. He wore a grey blazer over a navy jumper and shirt; obviously stylish, and clutched his vintage brown satchel like someone was gonna steal it away. "Y-yes"
Suddenly the unknown boy let out an exasperated sigh; throwing his arms in the air and back down again. "Finally! if I must say so myself, my Brother is awful with directions"
"Your Brother being?"
"Finn. You know? Finn Hudson"
"Is he okay?" Rachel rushed out immediately, it had been nearly five days since she had seen the boy without an explanation. Though her heart assured her he was just resting up at home as his Mother begged him last week (he argued that Rachel needed some company back at the hospital), her brain made up all kinds of scenarios to other worse possibilities.
The boy was obviously comfortable enough and strolled right into the room up beside her, "sure, sure, my Brothers fine. Carole told him if he didn't take some time out that she would lock his bedroom door while he where sleeping" he chuckled.
Rachel did not know of Finn's brother till now, she knew about Carole and about what happened to his Dad, she even met Burt once who was more than friendly and jokingly tried to persuade her to join a soccer team after his step-sons constant bragging. But no Brother.
"I'm sorry, I-"
"He never told you about me, huh?" the boy humphed knowingly.
Rachel winced slightly, really not wanting to offend the boy. "not really"
"Meh, it's okay. I should have expected it really, however, he could have gave me a warning" he smiled. "Anyway, since he isn't allowed to leave the house, he paid me to come and bring you a message"
"You know, he could have just called?" Rachel giggled. Finn wasn't your typical teenage boy; the one she imagined when they first met. Finn had been through shit and knew what was wrong from right, he also knew that wasting time being obnoxious and socially obsessive was pointless, something she really liked about him.
The boy shrugged not even bothering to explain his Brothers weird antics, in no time he pulled out a small Tiffany blue coloured box from his bag and placed it on the little table across Rachel's bed; the one she where sitting behind with her book still planted firmly in her hands. At this gesture, Rachel closed the book before placing it off to the side and looking over the present.
"I'm Kurt by the way" he said, "oh and before you open that, he told me to give you this note."
Rachel took the small folded piece of paper and began to read it carefully:
'Okay so my Mom has trapped me in my house probably forever (if she could) and so I figured you will be alone since I have a strong feeling you won't venture off to find some other friends (please do so if this is the case). Anyway I came to a compromise and persuaded Kurt (more like paid him) to bring you this, I remember you telling me you smashed yours a couple of weeks ago and I asked your Dads for all you favourite... love Finn.'
Favourite what? Rachel thought. She delicately reached out for the rectangular box and used her other hand to take off the lid. "he made me go get it, I hope you like pink" she heard Kurt mumble as he flicked through her magazine to the side.
In the box lay a small iPod nano, she removed it from the bed of tissue paper and ran her fingers along the smooth edges. This boy was crazy. "I love pink" Rachel muttered under her breath.
"Good because I lost the receipt on my way home and didn't tell him"
"He really didn't have to do this..." the comment where more to herself. Kurt snapped the magazine closed and scooted a little closer to the girls bedside, "oh my God, there's the Wicked album!" she tried not to sound so excited, yet it had already came out when she realised this boy was going to think she's the most uncool thing since a fanny pack.
But to her surprise, he gasped "you love Wicked too?! I totally want to see it again on Broadway"
"My Dads took me when I was about eight and I've been addicted ever since" she said still eying each song as she scrolled down the list, "what's your favourite song?" Rachel asked prolonging the conversation.
Kurt didn't waste a second before blurting out a speech as if it had been there all his life just waiting for that question, "well inevitably most people would ideally choose Defying Gravity or For Good because well, because they're completely fricken' awesome. However, I find the über underrated Wizard And I fascinating and would honestly admit to that being my favourite. You?"
"I'm traditional, for me it's always been Defying Gravity"
"I must say, the ending notes are rather hypnotizing"
Kurt met his eyes with the girls and smiled, for the past few weeks she was pretty much all his Brother went on about and he seen something new and concentrated in his eyes every day... hope.
V.
He hated himself, though he subconsciously knew he very well shouldn't. Finn couldn't have done anything, he couldn't control his own demons never minds hers; but more than anything at this time, he wished he could.
Arriving at the hospital after his short break from treatment his heart nearly stopped for a whole other reason, the grave expressions on her Fathers faces when they entered the chemo ward to explain what was going on gave him the urge to rip the catheter out there and then.
Rachel had abruptly caught some sort of infection; one even Finn couldn't understand. Though it started off as something as simple as a headache, within hours the virus had attacked her already gullible immune system and she was now medically unconscious as her body healed. They had quarantined for the first three days and so even her Fathers weren't at her bedside, he hated watching the usually strong men break down into his parents arms as they retold their life story from the earlier days.
"When will she wake up?"
"We don't know Son, all's we can do now is hope for the best" Leroy grumbled rather defeated.
"Can I go see her?" he asked quickly. He wasn't in the mood for his Mother's coddling nor his stepfather's sceptical look, "please?"
Twenty minutes they where guiding him around to the intensive-care unit; his Mother delicately holding his hand as if he where a child again. Though Finn didn't mind, there was a good chance that if they weren't connected, his legs would have already buckled by now.
Hiram went through the process of explaining how grave she looked so it wouldn't surprise him too much, but honestly, nothing could have readied him for the sight he was met with as he entered the private ward. Finn using all his power tried to ignore the first few cubicle holding the sickest children of the hospital, but he kind of regretted it when he saw with Rachel; in fact, she looked worst than the rest.
She didn't move at all, except the constant up and down of her chest area. A thick tube travelled in her mouth and down her throat, taped up to her face as well as other tubes and a cannula. Her usually long and shiny locks where scraped back into a messy bun on her head, while her eyes stayed closed tightly. Her whole body was in a muddle of wires and hospital blankets, making her look so much smaller than she already is.
All's he could do was let out one loud sob, though he quickly tried to turn it into a cough. "It's okay Finny" Carole soothed emotionally, wrapping her arm around his head and pulling it against her shoulder.
Finn stood there for another thirty minutes, going between crying to his Mother and just staring at his helpless friend. He felt as the other three men took turns in giving him a reassuring pat on the back, but nothing helped, he just wanted her to wake up was all.
"Can she hear what we're saying?"
Leroy stepped forward, "the Doctors aren't sure, she might be able to; she might not"
"Where's her iPod?" Finn asked, sternly.
Leroy quickly tried to disguise his confused looks and flustered around, "uhh I think it's in her bag" he said, reaching around to bring out the small pink shoulder bag that she always brought to treatment with her. "Here"
The teenager took the electronic device and switched it on while everyone discreetly eyed him, confused. He soon found exactly what he was looking for and allowed a small smile to form in achievement. Finn took slow steps forward till he reached her bedside, though still incredibly scared to look at her incase she broke even more.
He unravelled the earphones and carefully hung them on the rim of her petite ears so they weren't fully stuck in, Finn still keeping the adults in the dark, went back to the iPod itself and did what he had to do before placing it on the little bedside table between a water bottle and more tubes of something unknown. Though he fought a strong urge to do more, he really did not want to knock something, and so he simply grazed the back of her lifeless hand with his own before swivelling around at an un-Godly speed.
He practically stormed past the three adults remembering to say, "Defying Gravity, her favourite song" on the way before turning the corner and leaving the ward. Yep, this guy really was crazy. But crazy beautiful through their eyes.
VI.
"Just take one more spoonful, for me, please?"
"But it hurts Finn, I can't" her whole body ached similar to the feeling of being hit by a high-speed bus. Even swallowing her own saliva brought tears to her eyes, and being totally honest, she was feeling rather grateful for the fact chemo only made her puke up her guts for a couple of days, this, this was unbearable.
She only awoke a couple of days ago, and if anything she was feeling worse than she did before they knocked her out, though the Doctors explained that was normal. Finn had finally persuaded her Fathers to go home and take a few hours off to shower and sleep in a more comfortable environment when he 'babysit' their teenage daughter. "Come on Rach"
He now held a cup of ice shaving paired with some orange syrup in his hand, so tight it had began to melt around the edges. Rachel couldn't eat solids at all and so they came to a comprimisation with the nurses that she could just start with liquids. Though Rachel had gained enough attitude back to argue that crushed ice wasn't necessarily a liquid.
She slowly opened her chapped lips less than an inch, but left enough room for her friend to gently spoon a small amount in. As she did before, almost routinely, she waited a few seconds for the ice to melt, filling her whole mouth with watered down orange juice, she then allowed the liquid to run its way down the back of her throat and re-hydrate her dry tongue. The breathing tube really did leave its mark.
"Nice one" he praised, as promised putting the cup to the side. A room with Rachel Berry in was never silent, and so this was an out-of-body experience for the teenage boy. He sort of missed her constant yapping about nonsense and wot-not. "Are you comfortable?"
"As can be I suppose..."
"Would you like me to get your nurse? I'm sure she could give you some more pain meds"
"Finn?" she stopped him by placing her shaky hand on his arm as he sat on the edge of the bed.
"Huh?"
"You're rambling. I'm fine, I promise"
He realised she was most likely right and bowed his head slightly, Rachel loved how when in a somewhat awkward situation, a small yet incredibly cheeky grin would play on his lips, making herself smile widely like a complete idiot. Today was the exception though, even her Fathers had begun to notice how uncommonly down she was acting.
"C-can we talk about something other than hospitals?" she rushed, "like, how's Kurt? or did you catch up with all your school work?" He loved how Rachel had immediately grown on his step-brother as well as himself. When Kurt arrived home three hours later than anticipated he had already figured it had gone well, in fact he pretty much knew they would hit it off straight away since they where near enough the same person.
And so when he couldn't for all those days, Finn sent Kurt to the hospital each evening to keep his friend happy. But, he didn't mind. "Kurt's great from what he tells me- and believe me when I say he tells me a lot- he auditioned to get a solo in Glee club"
"That's awesome" Rachel said rather sadly, "what song did he sing? I remember him rambling on about something to do with Moulin Rouge and Brittany Spierce but I wasn't entirely sure what he meant" at one point Rachel had even thought the boy was going to do some show-stopping mash up... though she wasn't too sure that would go down well with who ever was judging.
"Actually" Finn started with a glint in his eye, "he went with Defying Gravity. Something about that über-talented diva back at the Hospital inspired him into doing so" it was true. The moment Burt announced the previously sad news to his biological son, Kurt knew exactly what he had to do, whether Rachel ever found out about it or not.
Rachel facial expression became much harder to read, she looked as if the corners of her mouth where daring each other to stretch although he was waiting for the flood banks to burst from her tear-ducts. "Rach, you okay?" he asked the unusually quiet girl.
Something about those tube inflicted bruises powdering her cheeks made her look so much more pained, "yes" she replied sombre, "did he get it?"
"Yep, he said he kicked those note's ass, whatever that's supposed to mean" Finn shrugged, trying to lighten the mood.
She wanted to be Kurt. She wanted to be in Kurt's shoes so bad that it made her physical pain even worse; not that she wanted Kurt to be in her place. She wouldn't wish these shoes upon her worst enemy. Rachel wanted to sing; she wanted to dance; more than anything she wanted to be able to blink without tears stinging her eyes from the burn. And so she couldn't cry, it was too painful physically and mentally.
"G-good, he deserves it from what he told me"
"Don't believe everything Kurt tells you" Finn laughed loudly expecting it to come off as a joke, Rachel however stayed deadly silent, just his chuckles echoing through the room making it seem more than awkward.
"Finn?" the sweetness drained from her voice.
"Yeah Rach?"
"D-do you mind i-if I just rest my eyes for a little while... alone?" she stuttered.
Finn obviously didn't mind that the girl wanted some private time, but he knew for a fact there was more to it that just that. He could scarily remember how depressed he became during his first bout of treatment like plenty of the other kids on the ward, and honestly, he would do anything to stop from it happening again. But he would do even more to stop Rachel from experiencing it the first time round.
VII.
He had to turn away, then blink a few times before looking back to believe the sight. Completely missing the wheelchair she sat in, he noticed the beauty, smiling, even giggling towards her Fathers under the large canopy in the patients garden. All those weeks ago with great difficulty he agreed to leave Rachel alone for a while and concentrate on getting himself better.
And though it was extremely hard, everything was worth it when it came down to this mere second. Rachel looked radiant, her eyes glistened in the bright spring light, and she looked healthy in the yoga pants and tank top she wore. Her skin wasn't grey or that un-nerving white it wavers in when she's throwing up, her olive tone had returned in full.
Yes, her hair had thinned and became quite patchy, but nothing in the world could make her look even more beautiful than she was now. In a way... he could have already fallen for her.
Finn slowly strolled past a bunch of little kids playing with hula hoops and soccer balls on the lawn, he crossed the little wooden bridge over the small artificial stream, and then followed to the gravel path around to the canopy, coming up from behind the girl. He winked at her Father's when they subtly smiled at his arrival before ducking down and placing his hands on the side of her wheelchair.
"Boo" he whispered beside her ear. The moment all his worries finally dissipated and his mind where put to rest was when she instantly squealed in delight while reaching up to grab his neck. "R-Rach, you're sorter strangling me..."
"I don't care!" she exclaimed. "Where have you been all these months Finn Hudson?! I was so worried about you"
Finn stood back up with a slight chuckle at her empty anger, "just, stuff"
"Stuff huh?" she smiled. "yeah and what kinds of stuff? oh, did Kurt win his competition?! wait, did you hand that paper in on Shakespeare I helped you write? did you get an A?! cos if not then you should have got an A. I mean, my writing skill is truly brilliant if I must say so myself..." yep, Rachel Berry was back.
He just stood there rather pathetically allowing her to ramble on and listening as if it was music to his ears, "...and breathe" he added at the end and chuckled when she just smiled cutely while placing her hands upon her lap.
"Sorry, as you can tell just talking to my two Dads for a whole month is in no way fulfilling"
"Hey!" both men defensively poked at their daughters words.
"What?" Rachel said in full seriousness, "Dad all's you talk about is golfing with Bobby and Daddy, well, you can only talk so much about the real-life rain scene in Singing In The Rain on Broadway before it gets boring"
"Wow, Broadway and boring in the same sentence. You guys have officially broke her"
While they all laughed, Rachel went on "no, no, no, all's I got was 'oh my God Rach, it was Rain! like real life rain! in a building! it was raining indoors!' you would be the same" she said impersonating her Father's voice.
It was nice, you know, having her smile just for the sake of it, in fact, having her smile because Finn was standing right there. Though he had to remind himself her battle was far from over, true to his word, he could think far enough into the future at a point when they weren't together, friends... or more. Finn where convinced Rachel hadn't a clue to what was going on outside of the hospital never mind the teenage boys head, all's he needed was the perfect timing, though he had a feeling that wouldn't be around for a while.
"We should really be getting you back inside Pumpkin, Doctor Rora will be around within the next hour to check up on you" Hiram said gently as he got up from the garden chair he was in.
Immediately Rachel frowned at the idea of being sucked back into the building, outside in the gardens you look around with fond memories seeing child after child (sick or not) playing happily, back inside the Hospital they all look so sad and internally battling. Out here you could be free.
"Please Daddy, I don't want to" she began to whine.
"Mr Berry's, would you mind if I took Rachel on a walk" Finn asked kindly, insinuating he push her around, "we won't be too long and it will give us time to talk some more before my Mom finds me and drags me to the car"
Both men chuckled at the mental image of Carole on a mission, fuming around the hospital leaving tire-tracks on her way. They knew the boy was very mischievous at times, but like most other teenage boys in the world, it was only for his Mother. "Sure Son, just not too long, okay?"
"Promise" he smiled removing the break handle from the right hand side of Rachel's chair and pulling her back slightly. "See you soon" both Men waved as they anxiously left their daughter for what seemed like the first time in a month, Finn couldn't blame them though, when he was going through his toughest time even Kurt refused to go to school so he could stay with him.
Finn decided to take her the long way round towards the right door while her Fathers veered off to the left. Down the longest corridor, up the elevator, around the bend, past the main desk, through the indoor playground, another elevator, a few more twists and bends and he still didn't feel like he had got out everything he had wanted to say.
"Finn?"
"Yah?"
"Did you really kick over a chair for me?" though it was random he knew exactly what she was talking about, "plural, Rach" he humphed. The day he assigned Rachel with her song before angrily storming out of the hospital, inevitably he assaulted multiple chairs along the way. Though all's his parents did was followed behind him and watch.
Rachel giggled like the teenage girl she is, blushing thirty different shades of red, "well thank you"
"Who told you by the way?"
"Your Brother" she said, "he has told me quite a lot about you in fact"
Finn really didn't like the sound of that, "like what?" he sang, feeling tense suddenly.
"You sing" she smiled, "in fact, you too are in Glee club"
"I'm guessing he never told you how I joined?"
"Oh no he told me. Shame on you Hudson" she snarled giving him a quick eye glare. Finn laughed heartily at the thought, he also side-tracked thoughts on how he was going to kill his Brother as soon as he got home. "Don't worry, he told me it wasn't your fault"
"Alas, someone believes me" he replied, "and don't get too comfortable Rachel Berry, your Fathers told me plenty about you too"
"Oh no" Rachel whimpered lowering her head.
Finn looked upwards as if ticking things off from his imaginary check list as they travelled down the last corridor, "lets see: Rachel Berry once decided that clothes where so last season and didn't wear anything but underwear for nearly six days..."
"I was three!" Rachel squealed clamping her hands over her ears in pure embarrassment.
"...Rachel Berry once got her finger stuck in a marker pen lid..."
"Look can you see the difference in size?! I swear the right index finger is smaller than the left" she asked holding her two hands up in the air and wriggling her fingers about.
"...Rachel Berry once took a summer intensive at a pro soccer league" Finn at an un-Godly rate jumped in front of her chair and watched as she froze completely speechless. "Yes, Rachel Berry, you have officially been well and truly busted. How's it feel?" he kneeling before of her legs.
"I-I uh, I... it was still pro Finn, I had to be good to get in there in the first place!"
He loved it when she got all defensive, "I know, I know." he smiled, "but you're a cheater, admit it Rachel Berry! you are a cheater"
"No I am not!" she exclaimed stomping her foot, she knew he was only doing this too piss her off, but she was willing to play along. "I am not a cheater, Kurt told me..."
"Ugh I'm gonna kill Kurt" Finn said jokingly under his breath, "yeah well I'm going to kill my Dads" Rachel smirked.
Silence filled the atmosphere as the two literally stared each other down with Finn still kneeling before her. He was never a good guy at reading signals, like, he was totally fucked when it came to women, Finn Hudson was the biggest noob of all woman kind. But when it came to Rachel, he wasn't nervous, nor desperate. He was just there. Willing to wait, willing to wait forever if he had too.
"We should go, my Dads and possibly your Mom are gonna come steaming around this corner any minute looking for us" she said quickly.
Finn stood back up, stretching out his long legs in the process; before chemo started the Doctor warned him of a possible stunt in growth since he was hitting puberty around that time, yet he proved them well and truly wrong when he hit the six-foot-two mark. Finn inched himself back around the chair and began to smoothly roll Rachel back into her room.
Only now was he really noticing how it had become quite personal: there where posters of some of her favourite shows on the walls, bright coloured flowers in vases along the windowsill and bedside table, her bed had been topped with a large, pink knitted blanket, the one Carole's Mother made specifically for 'that pretty girl my Grand-bubby keeps going on about', which the small diva instantly fell in love with.
Fairy lights and daisy chains were laced around the lift-up barriers on the bed, she had honestly made it very Rachel. Oh and of course he didn't miss the pile of musical box-sets, the ones his Brother keeps replacing for her fairly regularly. He really did love his step-Brother.
"Hey Pumpkin! how was your..."
"Don't Pumpkin me!"
Run Finn. Run.
VIII.
"Ugh, that truly tasted disgusting" Rachel groans hovering over the large paper bowl on her lap, almost scared to move away.
Finn comes closer chuckling heartily as he begins to wipe her mouth, "well it is puke, what do you expect?"
"I'm blaming you for this, you where the one who brought me fries and ice cream for lunch"
"Nutritional"
Ignoring Leroy's comment, Finn gave her a smart look "Well I wasn't expecting you to throw them back up now was I?" his innocence was adorable and even she couldn't help but laugh at that, she allowed him to gently caress around her mouth with a paper towel before throwing it aside into the small trashcan. Rachel was sitting in her chair on the treatment ward, slowly regretting her food choices earlier in the day.
Ever since she took that small break from Chemo after she was ill, her stomach had built back up considerably and so she was able to eat much more, therefore putting a healthy amount of weight back on her naturally slim frame. Rachel however was now experiencing the negatives to it, whatever she ate came back up, most of the time without warning.
She spluttered and let out a gurgled cough before lurching her head into the basin on her lap and spilling out what felt like everything in her belly. "Well a bit of advise for you, before chemo once, all's I ate was strawberries"
"This is no time to be smart Finn Hudson." she quipped allowing her body to delicately sink back into her chair, dearly hoping for the best.
Finn not really caring for the fact it was someone else's vomit, swapped it with another, giving the gross one to a passing nurse, who strangely enough couldn't have been happier taking it off him.
"Pumpkin would you like me to ask the nurse for some of the anti-nausea stuff?" Leroy asked getting up to help make his daughter feel more comfortable. Though he already knew the answer. "No Dad! it makes me feel all funny, I already told you I never wanted to take it again" he ignored the fact Rachel had snapped angrily, being totally honest if he where in her situation he would have himself.
"Okay, okay. I'm gonna go get you some ice-water from downstairs, would you like anything Finn?"
"No thank you Mr Berry" Finn answered not removing his eyes from Rachel's face as he fixed the pillow behind her neck. "alright then, be good"
"No offense Dad but there's not much mischief I could pursue in my current state" he didn't reply to his daughters sarcasm, instead he just shook his head and let out a mild chuckle to himself before walking away.
Finn wasn't at all worried about Rachel slipping back into depression considering her mood, he knew the difference between feeling mentally low and just having one of those days where you're angry at the world like the back of his hand. He reached out for the cool, damp cloth a nurse had not long brought over and began to dab the right side of her face.
"You don't have to stay you know?" Rachel grumbled after a few minutes silence, "I mean, I like you being here and all, but I just feel bad"
"Why?" Finn questioned.
"I don't really know, it's just" she paused in thought, "you're here everyday... and I know that isn't just because you are hiding from school-work" she smiled. "I j-just feel like I'm wasting your time"
"Not at all Rachel Berry" he bounced back immediately with an answer, "my time would be wasted if I were anywhere else, why would you even think like that?"
"Sorry" she said bowing her head slightly, "I just feel helpless sometimes, like I can't do anything for myself. Then I start to over-think things"
"Your conscience troubles you unnecessarily, and you see a deliberate intention in every simple act."
Rachel looked up with disbelief in her eyes; mouth agape; and excitement building in her cheeks. "You read it!" she squealed subconsciously grabbing for one of his hands, "I can't believe you read it! I didn't think you would..."
"Turns out it wasn't too bad" Finn had argued with Rachel for nearly a week when they first met, she was desperately trying to persuade him to read her favourite book The Scarlet Pimpernel yet the teenage boy just went on about how he didn't like romantic movies (the ones his Mom forcibly makes him watch with her on sick days) and so the book would be pointless.
So Carole was rather shocked and realised the boy must have had some sort of serious case of cabin fever to ask for the book one day when he was taking a break from the hospital scene. "I told you it wasn't bad, I'm so glad you read it" Rachel replied, smiling like an idiot. She had completely missed the fact her fingers where now intertwined between Finns as she rambled on about each character and chapter. Finn hadn't though, it was probably the reason he too was smiling like a complete idiot.
IX.
"Come with me"
In all Rachel had been in hospital for months, though only over the past week or two where Doctors allowing her to venture off for short periods of time since her immune system was beginning to re-build. In fact this was all because (to most of the Doctors surprise) Rachel was exceeding limits quicker than a normal patient would. Rachel though, wasn't your average whiney teenage girl, and they all knew that.
"I don't know Finn, I look like a complete mess; my hair is horrible" Rachel felt incredibly fortunate that her hair hadn't altogether just fallen out, but instead it thinned an obvious amount while her scalp became slightly patchy.
"Rachel you look beautiful, I promise" he begged sitting at the end of her bed while she toyed with her hands at the top. "Please come with me! Kurt's told everyone about you and they all want to meet you"
"I don't even go to Mickenly!" she argued.
"So? it's a Glee club Rach, our school really doesn't care who's there and who isn't" ignoring the fact over how dangerous that probably was, Rachel's expression changed to that of contemplating. She was never the type to shy away but all in all over the past few weeks aswell as her body drastically changing, her personality had too. She imagined herself to not be as selfish and loud, the little things where so much bigger and that's the way she hoped for it to stay.
"Okay" Finn very nearly jumped off the bed in excitement, "I'll come with you, but not for too long okay?"
"Promise" Finn smiled in achievement.
You couldn't really tell Finn was that sick anymore, she knew he must have stopped treatment since his hair had begun to grow back, but he hadn't told her why. So as they walked down the halls of Mickenly three days later, she felt like a freak; clutching Finn's arm as if hanging on for life. "Are you okay?"
"Mhmm" she hummed.
Finn pulled her around another corridor and veered them off towards the right side of the hallway, before they even reached the room, Rachel could hear the loud hollers and giggles of who she could only imagine to be Finn's team mates. "Finn!" a blonde girl screamed running up to him breathlessly. She was pretty, prettier than Rachel imagined herself to be.
"Rach?" she heard a familiar voice call as everyone crowded around her friend, turning around she noticed Kurt sitting on one of the chair levels at the back of the room, gesturing for her to join him. "You look great!" he squealed pulling her into a tight hug.
"Thanks, how are you?"
"Good, good. I totally need Summer already" he whined. "So how are you doing? my Brother tells me you've become all badass recently and ventured off the hospital grounds"
Rachel giggled a little as she eyed Finn out of the corner of her eye; he looked so happy, surrounded by all his friends, the topic of talk. "Yup, except my rebellion was short-lived"
"You're here aren't you?" Rachel smiled awkwardly at his reply, true she was here, but not necessarily for herself. "Rachel, honey" Kurt started after clearing his throat and crossing one leg over the other, "you do know Finn is totally head-over-heals for you, don't you?"
"Oh my God! so you a real and not just a figure of our boys imagination" Before Rachel could even blink an eye at Kurt's revelation, a plump black girl swooped in possibly crazed with excitement. "honestly, just when I thought I'd have to admit myself to some insane asylum"
"E-excuse me?"
"Rachel, Mercedes. Mercedes, Rachel." Kurt introduced, gesturing between the two women.
"Do my eyes deceive me?!" Rachel instantly looked over at a boy in a wheelchair, waving his arm in the air with delight. She was finally realising that the crowd of people had descended and they'd began to question the elephant in the room. "Who's the hottie?"
"That's Rachel, Puck."
The boy with the mohawk allowed his jaw to drop before swivelling around to Finn, "Dude, I totally thought you where making her up"
"Seems like that's what everyone else thought too" Finn grumbled walking towards the chair area and sitting beside Rachel. "Guys this is Rachel, Rachel these are the guys"
"And Gals" Kurt added. "Now you should all close your mouths before you start catching flies" he quipped making his Brother laugh.
"Oh my God!" all's Finn could do was roll his eyes and wait for the newly entered Latina to drag him down to the ground with her attitude and nasty comments. "Rachel Berry?! like, wait, so she's real? I totally thought Gigantor was lying" she said highly amused, "so what did you do? catch her with a net or blackmail? I mean, she's small enough to fit in a net so I know which one I'm rooting for"
"Santana" most of the class sighed simultaneously. "That's just her way of being nice" Rachel heard Kurt whisper into her right ear, considering this was incredibly overwhelming to the girl she was quite enjoying the constant banter and bickering between the group as if they where a bunch of old, married couples.
"Hi, I'm Quinn" the pretty blonde girl stepped forward rather confidently, holding out her left hand to be shook. Rachel had not long ago noticed how enticed she seemed by Finn when they first entered the room, something that brought up many curiosities in her mind.
Each person obnoxiously stood forward on their turn, giving a quick hello to the innocent girl. Though this was all completely overwhelming and she was beginning to feel like an anti-social midge, she also felt extremely comfortable in their presence, especially since Finn nor Kurt had left her side.
"Where's Mr Schue?"
"At some school conference in Washington, he wishes well though" Mike explained, obviously much more pleasant compared to the rest.
"Wait, I thought he got kidnapped by Obama?"
"Just because he went to Washington Brittany, it doesn't mean he got kidnapped by the president"
"If anything, wouldn't his body-guards be the ones to kidnap him?" Rachel frowned at the big lipped, blonde boy. She had a strong feeling most of their conversations lacked point and went similar to this. "Who cares? let's hope someone kidnaps him..."
"Santana" Finn sighed, "nice to see you've not changed too much over the past year"
"Glad you noticed flubbers, and although I find you insanely repulsive, it's gonna be good to have you back" she smirked, though it was more evil than genuine. "Top tens for re-mission" she mumbled under her breath turning away.
He froze, just sat there gob open staring towards Santana. He could hardly say he would never have expected her to do something so venomous, but maybe just maybe, this time he hoped it was different. "R-Rachel I-" before he could finish that sentence, the small teenage girl swept up to her feet and stormed out of the room, not looking back for a single second.
"Do you seriously have to be such a bitch?!" was that last thing he heard Kurt yell as he ran after her.
X.
"Rachel?" her Dad paused, "Rachel Pumpkin, you have to eat something... please, just for me?"
He knew that it was pointless; all the begging and bribery, his daughter would just stay with her back to him, snubbing any attention. It was only five days ago that the Doctors deemed Rachel strong enough (and well on the road to recovery) to finally be discharged to go home, and though she was incredibly happy and almost proud, something else was pulling her down other than gravity.
With mass effort, Rachel rolled over and pulled herself up before fixing the bed head that had formed; since coming home the majority of her time had been spent in her queen sizes bed either: napping, flicking channels or playing with the bottomless pit of food that her Fathers keep replacing on her night stand.
"I'm not hungry"
Leroy took it as his cue to scooted forward and sit on the edge of her bed, "we both know Rachel that if you don't, you will have to go back to the hospital"
"Fine! I don't care."
"...You don't mean that" he replied sadly. "I love you Rach and I want you to get better and be healthy, so whether that means having to take you back or begging you on my hands and knees... then I will"
It was not fair at all, what she was doing to her Dads. But Rachel knew that. She was just so angry, so unhappy that she didn't care. "I don't feel good Dad" she whimpered, her voice cracking emotionally as her head bowed down. Her voice was so weak and sad that it almost broke his heart there and then.
"What hurts Sweetie?" just as well his teenage daughter where way too small, he gently pulled her over to sit on his lap comfortably, wrapping one hand around her back holding her waist and the other going between pulling her closer and wiping the tears that where steadily falling.
Rachel sniffled a couple of times, it was only then that Leroy really noticed how red and puffy her eyes looked up close, obviously she had been at it for a couple of days and he was only finding out now. "He never told me Dad"
Of course both knew about the Finn debacle, but if it wasn't for the late night call off Carole explaining what Finn had told her then they wouldn't have had a clue. They hated how secretive Rachel would become when she was sad or down, she just hid in herself, not at all the loud mouthed girl she used to be. And even though that girl was incredibly annoying always, some times they wished she could just be that Rachel again.
"I know Pumpkin... do you want me to go kick his ass?" Rachel let out a helpless giggle at the thought, it was very uncommon for such words to come out of her Fathers mouth, Leroy wouldn't hurt a fly. "I'm not joking, any guy who had the guts to break my daughter's heart, deserves a good ass kicking"
"Yes but..."
He looked over her delicate face; the puffy red lips; her red-hot cheeks "but what darling?"
"But he didn't necessarily break my heart, we weren't together in that way Dad" she said, as if telling herself the truth for the first time. And though it was difficult, Rachel was right. If anything she wouldn't be surprised if he had already made himself comfortable with that blonde girl back in Mickenly by now. "I feel like I shouldn't be so sad, you know? like I don't have a right"
"Yes but you did Rachel" he said turning her on an angle to face him a but more, "who are we kidding Sweetheart, that boy would have done anything for you... and he probably still would"
"He never told me though"
"Rachel, there are some things you need to learn in life and this is one of them. The people who care about you most are the ones who will do anything to protect you from any type of pain and from what Carole had explained to me, that's all he was trying to do. He didn't want you to get upset, there was no devils play in lying honey" Leroy told humbly.
It's not that she was mad at Finn since every time she tried to be the overwhelming idea of him officially free from this disease came to mind and she couldn't help but be happy for the boy. But she where annoyed; annoyed that everyone else knew before her, she in fact felt like a bit of a laughing-stock. That everyone tipped-toed around the sick girl crawling with Cancer cells, like they didn't thing she was strong enough to take the news.
She was Rachel Berry. Finn Hudson had not seen the original in a long time, when Rachel was around him she couldn't help but be a whole other person, add her illness on top of that and she felt like she really was another person... one she didn't know. Now just a small while ago she thought that was a good thing, but now, now she felt as if she was pretending, she missed being who she really was.
XI.
Rachel had counted down the days for this, not only was it very nearly her Christmas break from school it would also be her last chemo session until the new year, and even then (although her Doctor did not want to admit it just incase) there was a high chance it would be coming to a permanent end.
She felt healthy, intelligent and just plain old Rachel again. It had been over six months since she had seen him, Rachel could feel a hole from time to time, like something was missing, but it was easy to throw herself back into catching up with all her schoolwork and regaining her voice strength to forget all about it.
Turns out it wasn't as hard as she imagined to become Rachel Berry again, her Fathers promised her if she put more effort into eating and fixing herself emotionally aswell as physically then they would take her to New York for a couple of days between treatment in the Summer, that was also around the last time she spoke to Kurt; bragging about how even more amazing Wicked was the second time.
"Hi Jocelyn!"
"Well Miss Berry, aren't we happy today" that was one of the things the elder woman loved most about her job, though she knew there where a lot of kids who never made it home during these times, she loved to see how the fortunate ones bloom and go from being sad and lonely to their original selves. That's how she knew they where getting better, no blood tests or scans could ever tell Jocelyn that.
Rachel sitting back in her chair comfortably, smiled brighter than ever "I can't wait to have a couple of weeks off... also it's my birthday in a few days, at one point earlier in the year I never thought I get here" she bragged. "Are you looking forward to Christmas?"
"Very much sweetie, mostly because I'm exhausted" the nurse chuckled, "since a lot of families are coming in for last treatments and monthly check-ups before the holidays, we've been on our feet constantly"
Jocelyn fixed up Rachel's catheter like always before passing her a blanket (no basin though, Finn was right; you do get used to it) and assigning her the mission of snuggling down and watching It's A Wonderful Life on the big TV hanging on the wall in her cubicle. Life was good.
"Rach?" she heard someone sing, "Rae-Rae" there it was again, "Pumpkin wakey-wakey"
"Dad..." she slurred shoving him away with her arm though it hardly reached him in her half-asleep state. "You where never easy to wake up." wait a minute, that wasn't neither of her Father's.
Rachel rubbed her eyes immediately, not entirely sure to how long she had been asleep. The next sight was that of a shocking one, there- the healthiest most radiant she had ever seen him- stood Finn Hudson, smiling like a complete goof.
"We'll be out there Rach" Leroy nodded getting the message quickly. The teenage girl watched as the boy stiffly dropped into a plastic hospital chair; the one her Father had previously occupied just opposite her; she knew that was because of his overprotective nature, now and then during the night she can feel their presence checking up on her, especially on the nights where she wasn't feeling too good.
The boy; which seemed stupid since he looked much more like a man now, became speechless. His lips guppied a couple of times like a fish under water before he looked down to his nervously shaking hands, all in the space of ten seconds. "What are you doing here, Finn?"
"I-I had one of my regular check-ups, I passed the window and Jocelyn said you where here" the woman was an extremist for gossip. "I hope you don't mind"
"I don't know" Rachel replied cold and sombre.
"Please don't hate me Rach, I-I'm so, so sorry" he rushed out suddenly, "it was a stupid thing to do, I just didn't..."
"Want me to hurt?"
Finn allowed the very corners of his lips to rise barely enough to be seen by the naked eye, though Rachel did. "yeah. That."
"I wouldn't have though, you know? I've always been strong enough to handle it all, god the amount of people in school who ask me on a daily basis how I coped with it all so dramatically proves that to me. I came out stronger"
"I know, I know. I don't doubt that at all, you're stronger than me Rach, you're stronger than I'll ever be" he smiled though she was still keeping her guards up, "you're back at school?" he questioned for small talk.
"Yeah I went back in October" she said simply, "how's Kurt?"
"Kurt's good, he misses you... I do"
Just looking into his eyes directly made millions of memories flood back into her brain, even ones she never knew she had. Peculiar: songs, moments, even arguments could be easily imagined as she racked through them all. "Well you could have gotten in touch with me in the past six months" Rachel snapped, ignoring the fact she too could have done so.
"I didn't know what to say Rach"
"And now you do?" she once again snapped.
Finn sat up assertively as if getting ready to come out with all kinds, "in fact, I do." he replied, "I thought about it, you could never imagine how much I've thought about it, every single day in fact" he said, "I even came to my wit's end one days and looked up what I should say on the internet, that was also the day I realised the internet it a complete load of bull crap when it comes to genuinely needing help"
She tried so hard not to smile, "it said something about 'life without you is a broken pencil' like, I got a D in one of my English classes, as if I of all people could figure out what that meant" she knew exactly what that meant, "anyway I realised something... and it was there all along" he sighed.
"Three of the most simple words, I could have said them just once over that whole time and I didn't. Which is honestly one of my biggest regrets." he looked sad, not just favourite football team loosing a big game sad, he looked like Rachel had six months ago. Finn slid to the end of his chair, leaning closer to Rachel who had now shrugged down her blanket to show the top of her black tank-top and catheter owned arm.
"I love you, Rachel Berry." he said, smiling like an idiot though it was familiar, "not like I love my friends, not like I love my parents or Brother. I love you, Rachel and only you"
XII.
This couldn't be happening, it was impossible, well, that's what they thought. Her mind realised what was going to happen; breaking it to all their family, more hospital visits, possible scars. But she was strong. They both where.
"Hey Babe" Finn winked patting his lap from where he sat on the couch. Rachel suspiciously hopped her way over towards him, fiddling with her hands in the process. She knew it was time to tell him, after all, it would affect him just as much as it would affect her.
Rachel fell into his arms and smiled gratefully when he wrapped his left around her back and rested his hand on her hip, pulling his wife so close she felt her breath hitch slightly. She dug the right side of her face into his chest, inhaling his scent and hugging him slightly. "Are you okay? you seem a bit off"
Finn knew it was her Doctors appointment yesterday; the one he begged her to go to so she had a reason for all the throwing up, head aches and near fainting episodes, and he trusted her enough to tell him whatever it was when she was ready. "Umm-" Rachel Berry starting a sentence with 'umm' was never a good thing from experience, like the phone call he once got 'Umm I sorter broke my leg' or at Kurt's wedding, 'Umm your Brother is freaking out and has gone into hiding".
Rachel sat up still on his lap, she took his spare hand into her own and subconsciously began to toy with his fingers, especially his wedding ring one. "I uhh- I"
"Is everything okay Rach? I swear, whatever it is you can tell me"
She had never been so scared in all her life. Though she had no clue to why.
"Y-you know that thing we where talking about the other week? you know, when we where worried cos I kept getting sick" she said quietly. Finn nodded, colour draining from his face. After a moment's silence (though it felt more like forever) she decided ditching any form of physically speech was a must and pulled gently on her Husbands hand, guiding it to lay flat on her abdomen.
"...I'm pregnant Finn."