A/N: I don't see enough of good Jurassic Park/Harry Potter cross-overs, so I adopted Crossoverpairinglover's 'The Order Visits Isla Nublar.'
Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter or Jurassic Park. If I did, Sirius and Fred would not be dead- Pettigrew would be dead by a wolfhound. For Jurassic Park, I'm not entirely too pleased with the 'betrayal' of Owen's velociraptors.
Albus Dumbledore was called many things.
Headmaster, Supreme Mugwump, Chief Warlock, Grand Sorcerer, Chessmaster, and Obsolete Dingbat depending on where and whom.
At the moment, he was currently described to be 'very annoyed', and his targets were two unruly haired outsiders of the Wizarding world who were not related.
Well, not yet anyway. Sirius did have an odd feeling fellow messy haired Hermione Granger would end up with his godson. Either her, or Ginny anyway.
A nice girl on her own, Ginny would unfortunately come with being unable to escape her overbearing mother.
But, the writer's tolerance of both ships aside.
"I am very disappointed in you both," Dumbledore said after a period of staring at them. "You said too much in your letters."
"Oh yes, because telling my godson that the Ministry is watching him like ambush predators for the slightest thing they can use to destroy him is a crime." Sirius deadpanned.
"And telling him I'm sorry and that the only reason I'm here is because my parents ended up on a call to a dentist convention out of nowhere and only got two tickets is such a crime," Hermione brought up a cold truth.
"Harry mustn't be troubled by such things. He must grow up normally, and concerning himself about such things is unnecessary. Now, why don't you do just do as I say-"
"Dumbledore, don't you recall whose house this is?" Sirius pointed out. "I can kick you out magically, so try to remember that."
"HOW DARE YOU!" Molly's dulcet voice bellowed furiously.
"Molly, stop yelling." the ever graying werewolf pointed out to the short red-haired mother. "Look, while I agree somewhat with the possibility of the Ministry watching Harry too closely, leaving him without contact is not good in the long run. The Ministry can't tap phones, after all."
Hermione looked ready to find the nearest pay phone, and before Dumbledore could say no... Mundungus Fletcher burst into the tense sitting room where the confrontation was taking place.
"Potter's gone!"
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To say that this was taken in a calm and orderly fashion was like saying New Yorkers despised roasted peanuts.
Sirius responded to this by looking ready to hold Fletcher up against the wall and beat out answers.
However, Hermione beat him to it, with strength that was not expected of someone her size.
"WHAT DO YOU MEAN HARRY'S GONE?!"
"What I said! He's gone! I left him alone for a few hours-"
"YOU WHAT!" Hermione managed to be the first person louder than Mrs. Weasley in a simultaneous face off.
"I had.. business to attend to."he stammered weakly.
"So help me if you were doing something illegal, if Harry is hurt because of your greed I will personally commit the act that I was falsely accused of, and imprisoned with!" Sirius snarled.
"And if he fails, you get to accompany me during the next full moon." Remus stated seriously, attempting to restrain his wolf's fury.
"YOU'RE A WERE!" Fletcher jabbed a stubby finger at Remus in disgust.
"The racism aside Mundungus," Dumbledore continued with a serious voice; however, his blue eyes did not twinkle. "Do you have any leads?"
"Well, I found this." Mundungus handed the bearded leader with an envelope, featuring some babble the thief did not understand.
Dumbledore, however, did.
"This, is an airplane ticket for a private airport." the elderly man stated in a neutral tone. "An international flight.. to Costa Rica... on another Continent... in an area that has a very strict dislike of all European governments, and me because I'm part of one." Back in colonial times, deporting muggleborns, squibs, and unwanted children to the New World was fashionable. Not to mention magicals tended to forget the same insults at the speed of mammoths.
The room was as silent as the grave as Dumbledore's face grew murderous.
"Mundungus..."
"Y-Yes?" The grimy man stuttered out in a squeaking kind of voice.
"I'm officially going to retract my promise to keep Moody from searching your house, or arresting you...starting now."
"INCARCEROUS! STUPEFY!"
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After Moody finally got to arrest someone again, all available forces of the Order was gathered around a shower rod portkey, including Snape and the children.
"But sir, Costa Rica is a country with more area than the Netherlands or Denmark. How do we know where to look?" Hermione pointed out.
"Easy, we find where the trouble is." Fred eyed Hermione pointedly. "We just have to find the dragon nests, dark lord fortresses, and the nearest maiden in crisis."
"Or a nude beach." George imputed. "He is a teenage boy after all. What teenage boy would not want to find a tropical nude beach?"
"Nude beach?!" Ron said like a man possessed, before Ginny walloped him across the back of the head.
"Ah Miss Granger, Mess'rs Weasley, do you take me for a fool?" Dumbledore quipped as he took out a magical tool that resembled a GPS, rudimentary but still possessing basic appearances. "This little device allows me to track Harry's whereabouts at any given time."
Tonks gave the device a nervous glance. "Aren't those illegal?"
"..You really want to arrest Dumbledore, go ahead." Moody deadpanned. "It's not like we're in a vigilant organization with an escaped prisoner, werewolf, and now arrested con man? A minor item banned because of use by people like Skeeter or child molesters is certainly less of an offense than anything like that."
Tonks shifted herself to look as deafeated as possible.
"Isla Nublar, eh?" Dumbledore looked over the device's findings. "Well, this should be simple enough. Portus."
"Cloud Island?"
"Yep, nude beach."
"ENOUGH WITH THE NUDE BEACHES!" Molly shrieked angrily. "NO DECENT PERSON WOULD GO TO ONE OF THOSE!"
"I do." Fleur pointed out, as Molly didn't seem surprised until someone else spoke up... and it wasn't Sirius."
"..Me too." Hermione weakly pointed out as they all stared at her.
"My family vacations in France..."
As Molly muttered something about France 'corrupting influence', Fleur smiled at Hermione.
"..Bill, we officially recognize you as our coolest brother." The twins stated simultaneously.
"Nude beach or not," Dumbledore pointed out seriously. "It is simple enough. We go in, grab Harry, take him here, and chastise him for reckless endangerment of himself."
"After all," Snape commented as they all grabbed the shower rod: Arthur, Molly, Bill, Fleur, Fred, George, Ron, Ginny, Hermione, Moody, Shacklebolt, Tonks, Sirius, Remus, Snape, McGonagall, and Dumbledore. "What could possibly be so interesting about Isla Nublar?"
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The full group knew something was up when they clearly found themselves at a portkey and apparition point, a warded area that was the only area in a ward matrix where mass transportation could be done.
It was used as a crowd control feature, and it clearly showed Harry was in a wizarding area.
And Dumbledore didn't like it.
"Be ready for anything," Dumbledore said as he drew the Elder wand. "This could be anything from a slave ring's headquarters to a secret Death Eater base."
"The Dark Lord only has agents in Europe." Snape muttered.
Hermione, however, realized something that quickly became apparent. "Guys, this isn't a wizarding area."
"What do you mean?" Arthur wasn't sure what the intelligent muggleborn was talking about.
"Because wizards don't make paved roads." Moody pointed out at the obvious thing in front of him.
As Dumbledore and Arthur wondered how they missed that, Fred and George hopped on it.
"Huh.. no beach or nudity in sight." Fred sighed in disappointment.
"Just a strange tree trunk." George was looking ahead at a group of tropical looking trees, and this smoother, bent one..
"Will you knock it off, you two!" Ginny snapped at them as George continued to stare at the now moving strange tree.
"Er, Fred.." George whispered.
"Yes?" Fred answered his twin curiously as the other adults were talking, their voices occasionally being heard but ignored.
"I suggest we go with Auror maneuver forty-five." Moody muttered, big blue eye swirling around in agitation. Hermione stared up at the sky with an expression of incredulity.
"No, no.. That's suggesting we're going to be under heavy spell fire." Shacklebolt offered. Curious to what Hermione was looking at, Ron glanced upwards as well, before murmuring an inquiring question.
"So, basically you want me to morph a few times, grab Harry, and get back here while you all just sit here and look for nude beaches?" Tonks prompted with an edge of complaint in her voice. In the background, George skittered closer to Hermione as he asked quietly about what they were supposed to be seeing.
"You have a plan just for Tonks?" Bill was surprised at that. There was a rather loud swear behind them coming from Hermione, but they ignored it as Ginny stared at her incredulously.
Curious, isn't it, how the adults ignore the children so easily.
"We have plans for everything from Death Eaters to red-eyed white rabbits." Behind Moody, Hermione was babbling in-comprehensively. When Ginny asked her a question, she too began to look up before her eyes widened in shock. Fred asked a question that suggested that he might have been insane before. "I wrote them myself." Moody added after a couple moments.
"Why doesn't that surprise me?" McGonagall commented drily. George asked another question to a still babbling Hermione.
"CONSTANT VIGILANCE!" Curious about what the kids were staring at, Sirius commented, "Hey kiddos, whatcha lookin' at- SWEET VEELA NUDE BEACHES!"
"Sirius, what are you-" An odd wolf-like squeaking noise escaped from Remus.
"We could just leave him to die." Snape added sarcastically. Idly, he noticed that the children and remains of the Marauders were trying not to butt in. No-one else noticed, and he rather liked it.
"Severus, ever consider why you don't have a girlfriend?" Bill inserted casually.
"William, don't be rude." Molly admonished swiftly.
"Eet eez true." Fleur agreed with her not-yet-boyfriend.
However, before Molly could speak out a sound not unlike a whale trumpeted through the forest. Dumbledore couldn't tell whether it was a fusion between a whale and a donkey, or a whale and a penguin. This sound, however, got the attention of the adults that were still conversing.
Standing in front of a nearby clump of forest, was a large creature that stood in front of a herd of its own kind.
With long necks that could easily bypass the ceiling of the Great Hall, the earth trembled with each step. A few heads swiveled to look down at them, before dismissing the group of humans and returning to its leafy meal.
"Those are- Those are-" Tonks was a stammering mess.
"..I haven't ever seen these kind of creatures." Dumbledore's bright blue eyes were round in a rare moment of surprise.
"Dinosaurs." came Hermione's voice from behind them.
"Dinosaurs, a genus of ancient reptiles that lived millions of years ago. They are the ancestors of birds today. From 230 to 65 million years ago, they ranged from sizes of chickens to the size of these brilliant brachiosaurs." Harry's voice rang out from seemingly everywhere.
"Harry?!" Ron practically screeched out in surprise. "WHERE ARE YOU?!"
"..I'm using the loudspeaker." Harry deadpanned as the magicals noticed the muggle invention, plus a domed camera around the entry point tied to the top of a nearby tree.
To be fair to the magicals, the muggle-aware were staring at the giant extinct animal herd.
"Sooo... what are you guys doing here anyways? The island isn't supposed to be public until August first. A few hospitals with cancer affected children, some news reporters, a paleontologist group... Not a group of magicals."
"We're here to bring you home. It's not safe here." Dumbledore stated bluntly.
"Even if that was true, you can't leave."
"Who says?" Snape demanded. "Arrogant-"
"Actually, you do, Snape. See, I do realize that there are murderous psychopaths after me, so I did take precautions. The apparition entry point automatically seals up its ward hole if a Dark Mark passed through. By bringing Snape, you're all stuck here for twenty-four hours. Pity for you, the supply ship left yesterday."
"Those locks are illegal, Harry-"
"Well, in Britain anyway," Bill corrected Dumbledore. "and we're in Costa Rica."
"Sooo, seeing as you're stuck here, you're drafted to be Jurassic Park's test monkeys! You can take the tour, and if something goes wrong, we know how to fix it before the opening."
"I will do no such thing, Potter!"
"Snape, you all barged onto private property. Not to mention you're probably still thinking of kidnapping me..."
"Now, I wouldn't call it that-" Dumbledore began in protest.
"But you came here to bring me back to Britain, not taking into account my personal wishes or plans?"
"..I'm sure we can convince you it's for the Greater Good?"
Hermione muttered something about a person named Grindelwald, while she shuffled away from Dumbledore and gave him an expression of extreme paranoia.
"And now you're stuck on my island, and if I leave you guys alone, you'd get eaten or something. Or poisoned, or drowned, or accidentally let a Rex loose in San Diego or something.. so get in the cars before I call security. After all, technically only Hermione, Remus, Sirius and.. unfortunately Snape exist by muggle legal records. So security can do whatever they want to everyone else, and I don't have to tell the insurance company or change the 'Days since last injury or death' count."
The group blinked in surprise as a small fleet of green and red tour vehicles rolled down the nearby road as Ron found Harry's new... humor to be slightly disturbing.
"Cool!" Fred exclaimed.
"I do believe the term is, I CALL SHOTGUUUN!" George gloated, before cackling in a mildly disturbing manner.
"Well I call driving!"
"They are automated actually, but I believe you can honk the horn."
"..That works too." Fred admitted.
"We are not getting in those cars," Molly huffed, eyeing the vehicles mistrustfully.
"...Security?"
"No muggle could-" Snape began condescendingly.
"Who said my guards were human?"
The nearby tall grass rustled menacingly, while a few odd sounding chirps were given out.
"...Let's just get into the car. At the very least, we might be able to talk to Harry in person." Dumbledore tried not to feel a little worried about what was in the grass.
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"Welcome to Jurassic Park, the world's first zoological theme park featuring live dinosaurs and an assortment of other extinct creatures." Harry spoke up on the intercom installed between all five cars. On the first were Fred, George, Hermione, and Ginny. Arthur, Molly, Sirius and Remus were in the second. In the third car, Bill, Fleur, Ron, and Tonks sat. Car four contained Moody, Shacklebolt, McGonagall, and Dumbledore. Severus sat by himself in the fifth car. "And its also the world's first theme park to be aided by a combination of science and a few subtle magics, all located within a hundred or so miles off the coast of the greenest country on Earth, Costa Rica."
"Sounds like a big break of the Statute-" Dumbledore began, but was cut off by Harry.
"I said subtle, didn't I? There are several squibs and muggles who have magical relatives in the management."
"..He's got you there." Kingsley Shacklebolt pointed out.
"How in Merlin did I even get involved in this." Hermione muttered to herself. "How is this even happening at all?"
"Oh, it's a funny story." Harry butted in, having overheard his best female friend. "See, it turns out my dad invested money in a lot of muggle companies before I was born, including a little company called InGen. I sort of found out my part ownership when Gringotts sent me a message about the former CEO, John Hammond, wanting to meet me after first year."
"You shouldn't be-"
"Dumbledore, security is still tailing you all, you know?" Harry deadpanned as Ginny could have sworn she saw something move in the underbrush, following the cars on all sides. "The summer after first year, while Dobby was blocking my mail, I managed to put it out of my mind when he showed me the park as it was being set up. Which was a brilliant place of dreams that he wanted perfect to make for children, or at least rich ones. It was lovely, even when he only had half a dozen species here at the time. And as it turned out, Hammond had a muggleborn magical for a sister. He was quite interested to find out he had a magical help fund his park. In particular, he asked me to help him find DNA."
"Dee Ehn What?" Arthur couldn't help but ask.
"DNA, Mr. Weasley. It's the building block of life. With DNA, you can see what makes a chicken different from a fish. You can even take DNA and make life from it."
Something dawned in Hermione at that particular moment. "The dinosaurs are cloned." The fifteen year old whispered, a hint of reverence in her tone.
"Yes. Originally, Jurassic Park got its DNA from mosquitos and other blood suckers from inside amber, or fossilized tree sap. However, Hammond had a book from his sister called '10,000 Obscure Spells' that had a whole list of weird tricks, including a spell that could, from bones, identify what kind of species it was. It was originally meant to figure out if a person was a werewolf or something post mortem, but as Hammond guessed, and I found out, it actually did so by extracting a pure lump of DNA. Using another obscure spell that could form amber around small objects, I had essentially unlocked the means to bring any extinct species to life."
"..That's.." Tonks was speechless. Spells so obscure that even the greatest charms masters wouldn't even consider worthwhile, did all this?
"Science and magic make quite the pair, do they not? Anyway, after I got acquainted with the Weasleys that summer and went to school, Hammond set up a fossil museum in San Diego with his foundation, where he collected any and all fossils he could. Dinosaurs, Ice Age beasts, even a few imprints from ancient insects, all there and ready for DNA extraction. Summer after second year, I flew over to San Diego and obtained DNA from each and every one of the fossils, causing the potential resources for Jurassic Park to explode. So, after going through third year and all the Dementor drama, I ended up getting the surprise of my life."
"Besides being a wizard?" Inquired Hermione incredulously.
"Well, perhaps the second surprise of my life then. Hammond... was not fun to deal with. He was greedy, self-centered, and was too showy for my tastes. He was that flamboyant. If he had magic in his veins, he would be Malfoy senior's best friend in golf. Wait, does Lucius even golf?"
Arthur let out a weak laugh. "No, no he doesn't.
"Shame. Anyways, I won't lie when his death from a heart attack was met with.. relief from some of the staff. Arnold, Muldoon, Wu.. and me. However, what was annoying was me being railroaded into being in charge of the Jurassic Park project. I ended up spending most of my time before the world cup creating new designs for the park's tour systems, reducing some automation, giving the employees more voice.. Stuff like that. They implemented them during fourth year, and now I'm just overseeing the final preparations, see the opening days.. then find someone else to take on the political shit this place has."
"You shouldn't talk to dead people like-" Molly began to retort.
"You never met him. Don't try to make him look like a saint. He acted like how Snape thinks I do."
"..."
"We're here." Harry announced as all five cars pulled up to the lodge.
The large building was brown and made of stone. It had a thatched roof, and was large enough to hold the Qudditch World Cup stadium inside of it.
And up at the front, Harry was standing there with a sign that had 'Order of the Intruding Flaming Turkeys' scrawled across the front of it in a neon purple color. Hermione had to stifle a laugh; he looked like one of those valets at the airport!
Ron really did wonder where Harry got this new sense of humor.
As the cars stopped, Dumbledore burst out of the car like some kind of Norse god, wand sliding into hand.
"Yeah, no. SECURITY!" Harry hollered over his shoulder. A series of howls, growls, and chirps came from the grasses nearby, unnerving the people that had started climbing out of the cars.
"...Harry?" Hermione tilted her head to the side in concern. Harry flashed the girl a bright smile, making the curly-haired girl have a light blush spread over her face. Dumbledore looked like he wanted to punch Harry.
"My security raptors." The boy in question beamed at the group in a rather disturbingly cheerful manner. "Extremely intelligent and swift super killers who obey my will via parseltongue. Don't you have some?"
"Ehm.. no."
"Well!" Giving Albus a warning look, Harry turned to the rest of the group. "They will be tailing us the entire time. And if they see one wand out, they will attack and maul you. After that, they will drag you screaming into the bushes and devour you alive. Uh, while I don't exactly have the paperwork to draw out your death certificates, the cleaning staff will complain about the stains."
"Not. Funny."Sirius deadpanned, a slightly terrified glint in his eyes.
"I could say the same thing about plotting to kidnap." Harry informed the group solemnly. However, a malicious glint sparked in his eyes. "Cheerio!" He beamed again. "Let's go in."
Approaching the glass door, they slid open on their own smooth, silent volition. Moody's paranoia automatically rocketed up a notch.
The twins glanced over their shoulders and jumped in front of them again. Once more, the sliding glass doors slid open. As they backed away, the doors slid closed.
Sharing a look and a wide grin, they commented, "Neat!"