No Prince Charming

Disclaimer: Belongs to Shondaland

Just rewatched "Losing My Religion" and I felt compelled to write this. It could be seen as a companion piece or a prequel of sorts to "Moving in the Right Direction" but not necessarily.

This is the Izzie crying on Denny's bed scene from Alex's POV. I added in an original scene that shows Alex finding out about Denny. I loved this episode so much, I'm considering adding to this story with Cristina, Meredith, George, Callie, and maybe even Olivia's POV of the death scene, but you'll have to let me know whether to continue.

This is crazy. I've wasted three days not being able to get into an operating room. For what? So that Izzie could start planning her wedding. It sucks. Things were going great. For the first time in my life, I actually felt that I was truly getting close to someone. Beyond the sex, beyond the good time. I saw Izzie Stevens in a totally different light than I ever saw any of the other women I've been with. She hates me now, and it is partially my fault, but not entirely. She walked away.

So how come, everywhere I look, I see her, hear her, smell her ... she's inescapable. Even this stupid prom that I'm about to go to is her fault.

Speaking of ...

You look nice.

You look beautiful. Like a princess. ... Like Cinderella. For the first time in weeks, she smiles at me. God, I love that smile.

Thank You. So do you. Hot date?

Seriously? She's going to do that? Pretend like we were nothing?

Nah, this thing is cheesy. I wouldn't waste a decent chick on this.

She just laughed. I missed that girlish giggle. I used to hear it all the time. But that giggle belongs to another man now.

You heading in?

Can we walk in together? It would really do my ego good to have you on my arm. Not that my ego needs a lot of boosting, but still ... I just want to have you close again.

Yeah, just going to see Denny first.

Of course you are. Stab a knife right through my heart even further than you already have.

Oh. Ok.

She has that extra bounce in her step that she hasn't had for a while ... since we were together, if even then. I know I have to move on now, but as I watch her go ... I'm still in love with her.

This thing couldn't get any more lame. And yet, these grown men and women seem to be okay with this. Of course, the Chief's direct orders may have had something to do with it. I'm standing here and I can't help but think back to my prom. Lucie Wilson. Tiny brunette cheerleader with green eyes. She was a sure thing. Easy. I think we were actually at the prom for a total of about 25 minutes before heading to a buddy's lake house. The rest is blurry from there.

Karev.

I look behind me to find Dr. Bailey. Okay, I look behind me and down ... hey, she's short.

What's up?

She has this look on her face that I really cannot read. Not something new, she doesn't let other people read her. But this look ... she's concerned about something.

Denny Duquette.

Yeah, I just rolled my eyes. He's the reason I'm stuck here at the sorry excuse for a prom, he's the reason I lost Izzie. I really don't want to hear about him.

Don't ever roll your eyes at me Karev. ... Alex. He's dead. He died fifteen minutes ago.

What? I should be happy about this. Happy that the bastard is out of my life, but ... Izzie.

I half expected to hear Bailey yelling after me, but she says nothing. I'm taking the stairs two at a time before I realize it. This must be killing Izzie. I'm afraid of the shape she'll be in when I get there. Hopefully Meredith and Cristina and George are already there, taking care of her. Those three are better about that kind of stuff than I am.

I'm not the sensitive guy type. I'm not one of the girls. But Izzie manages to bring out a different side of me. I want to protect her, and I can't protect her from this. Hell, I've been such an ass to her lately, I'll be surprised if she'll even acknowledge me. But I have to get to her. She needs me right now ... whether she knows it or not.

I get to ICU, and see Olivia in the doorway of Denny's room standing next to Callie. Through the window I see George, Cristina and Meredith hovering not much further into the room, like they are afraid to get too close.

I pause at the window, and see Izzie lying on the bed next to Denny's body and suddenly I want nothing more than to take her in my arms and tell her that everything will be all right. I know that's not necessarily true, but ... it's what you say.

I hear O'Malley telling Izzie that they shouldn't be in there. And Meredith says they need to move him. What are they doing. They are talking to her like she is a three-year-old. That's not what she needs to hear right now.

Take him to the morgue.

Hearing her voice kills me. She's is truly devastated. Her world is crashing down, and its heartbreaking to witness.

You can't stay here. I know you want to.

She's not going to move, Cristina. She has no reason to get up. I know her better than that. She can't pick herself up, and the others are doing absoutely nothing to help.

Can you please ... please just get out? I want to be alone with Denny.

I can't take it anymore. She has to know that she can't do this to herself.

Izzie, that's not Denny.

If no one else is going to take care of her ... not just talk to her ... take care of her, then it's up to me. Meredith gives me a grateful look when I walk in behind her.

Shut up.

I'm sure I'm the last person she wants to hear from right now. She probably expects me to flaunt an "I told you so" around for a while. I'm not that bad of a person. Plus the look on her face, the refusal to look at anyone. It's tearing me up. She doesn't deserve to go through this.

Iz, that's not Denny. The minute his heart stopped beating, he stopped being Denny.

I know it's not what she wants to hear, but its the truth, brutal as it may be.

Now I know you love him. But he also loved you.

God, that was hard to say, but as I stand here looking at her, I know that she really did love him, despite my attempts to convince myself otherwise. I don't doubt it for a second. She never looked at me in the way she looked at him. He loved her in a way that I couldn't. For some reason I couldn't. I'll never understand that, but I'll accept it eventually.

But I loved her ... love her ... in so many ways that he couldn't.

And any guy that loves you like that, he doesn't want you to do this to yourself.

Because I love you like that, and I don't want to see you do this to yourself.

Because its not Denny. Not anymore.

He can't ever love you like that again. I'm still here. I need you.

A look of realization crosses her face, and she opens her eyes. Filled with sadness, but I notice the slightest hint of determination in them. That's just who Izzie is. She can't get away from it, no matter how hard she tries.

An hour ago he was proposing ... And now, now he's going to the morgue. Isn't that ridiculous? Isn't that the most ridiculous peice of crap you've ever heard?

The dam breaks open and she finally gives over to her emotions. I've always hated to see women cry. But to see Izzie like this its different. It's almost oddly comforting. She isn't happy, perky, everything's-going-to-be-ok Izzie. She's real and she's vulnerable and for once, she has completely let her guard down. Now we, Meredith and Cristina and George and myself have to be there. She needs us, all of us, now.

She has to let go now, if she is ever going to let go.

Come on.

She slowly moves her hands from Denny's chest and allows me to pick her up and move her away from the hospital bed. She sobs into my jacket, gripping on with every ounce of life she has in her.

I would love to say I was feeling like the knight-in-shining-armor, but I felt her pain. It was hurting her to be separated from him. I don't like for Izzie to be in pain. It could all be a romantic scenario with happily ever afters and all that, but this more nightmare than fairy tale. She may be Cinderella, but I am no Prince Charming.

As I sit in the chair a few feet from the bed, and she continues to weep, I know that I'm still going to have to step back for a while. Give her time to heal. I do love her, but for now, I'll have to love her as a friend. That's what she needs right now ... her friends.

I look up into Meredith, Cristina and George's eyes and I can't read them. They may be shocked at seeing me like this or at what I said, but I think mostly they are at a loss for what comes next for Izzie. They look as confused as I feel.

And when she's ready, whenever that might be, I'll be there for her. I know that for a fact.