Author's Note: I do not and never will own Steven Universe. Written for the One Prompt Many Fandoms competition.
It's harder to stay fused than Lapis expected. It's harder still because Jasper won't stop fighting her, won't stop shoving and manipulating for control. They aren't a proper fusion, but what does Lapis know of proper anyway? Maybe this eternal struggle is proper. It isn't what Garnet looks like, but Garnet is a Crystal Gem, Garnet is an other, and she doesn't trust them. None of them. The only one she trusts is Steven, and that's why she's doing this, even if it's hard to remember sometimes.
The ocean is cold.
Malachite huddles in a trench at the bottom. Their eyes adjust to the darkness, and gems don't need to breathe. She still gasps when she breaks free of the depths inside their mind, though. Her shackles are rusting, but she's stronger than Jasper. She has to be. It's the only way to protect Steven, it's the only way she can keep him safe, and she doesn't mind losing her freedom for a cause like this.
He didn't want to leave her.
She doesn't want to remember that, though, the look in his bruised face when he told her that he would come back for her, the desperation in his voice when he screamed, "Lapis, no." She's never had to believe someone's promises before, and the thought horrifies her.
Steven is here.
He's here but he's not here, and she can't take it. The slightest lapse in attention and Jasper will take over, nearly does take over, before she emerges, coughing and sputtering and feeling like her wings will evaporate from the strain. Her soul is already cracking.
"Let me do this for you," she whispers. She doesn't care if he doesn't understand, because she does, and that has to be enough. She'll protect him or die trying (and the second option is becoming a little too appealing).
But he won't go away.
Steven won't go away and he keeps begging her to tell him where they are, as if that's not exactly what she's keeping him protected from. Panic is a fire licking across her veins as she gives into the fusion, in ways she doesn't know are possible. She's not Lapis Lazuli anymore, because it's not safe to be.
She's Malachite, and Jasper is Malachite, and the ocean will tremble, but it doesn't matter.
Because Steven Universe is safe.