A/N - So I finally caved and started watching Castle. And then this story came to me and over a period of 24 hours, I wrote a large chunk of it. My first dance into the realm of Castle. Should be a fun ride. So as always, read and review. Let me know if I have it right or wrong. Please sadly be advised that I do not own Castle. However, I am firmly on the camp of Castle/Beckett.

Let me know what you think!

Chapter One – Breathe Today

To him, this was one of the best ways to spend a day. Well, second best outside of finding a killer. He had settled himself in a park bench with a large coffee and people watched. His phone had maintained its stubborn silence for almost two days now. He had fought the temptation to simply show up at the precinct and wait for something to happen but he also knew that he had writing to do. So, in a move that felt particularly adult, he had used the silence to his advantage. But he had to admit, he missed it. He sat up a little straighter when he saw a woman that he thought he recognised. It took him a mere split second to realize that he was wrong. The same, long bouncy hair was there but she lacked the confident stride. It wasn't Beckett. It seemed silly to him now. Why would she be wondering around at almost 7am? She would be at her desk, doing paperwork. He would be surprised if she wasn't there before he had even gotten out of the shower that morning. He watched a couple bicker as they walked past him, the dog on the other end of a lead ignoring them and pissing on a collection of bushes. Just when he thought he had reached a level of Zen, he phone chirped. He glanced at the screen before answering with a smile.

"Hello, Boss Lady. Please tell me we have something fun to do today?"

When Castle arrived, his eyes scanned the scene. Not for the victim or the surrounding drama but for Beckett. He had her coffee. He spotted her getting ready to stoop under the yellow tape and sped walked over to her, tilting her a smile.

"Good Morning Beckett."

He handed her a coffee. She accepted with a nod and resumed ducking under the tape. They walked down a narrow alley, at the end of which Lanie was waiting. She glanced at the coffee's that they held in their hands.

"No one asked me about getting a coffee."

Castle offered her his own, yet to be touched and she shook off the offer with smile.

"I'm ok. Been up since five. Anymore coffee in me and it's going to end badly."

Castle would have chuckled but his eyes caught the victim lying on the ground and it died before it had even begun. He knew her. The long, dirty blonde hair, the full cheeks and the cupid bow mouth. He knew the scar that graced her wrist and the one that scraped her narrow chin. He knew the arch of those eyebrows in laughter and the lines that were caused by it. He could feel Beckett studying him.

"Castle?"

One word, a million units of concern. Castle cleared his throat.

"I know her."

"Who is she?"

"Kaylee Dean. She's Kaylee Dean."

The world kind of zoomed into him. He felt hyper aware of Kaylee lying at his feet, Beckett's voice distant. Kaylee. She was dead. He felt the shake and Beckett's hand on his arm, gripping hard. She shook something loses and he clicked back.

"Castle."

He turned to Beckett and she fixed him with that look. The same look he had given her every time something upset her. Castle looked at Lanie.

"How did she die?"

Lanie glanced at Beckett, who apparently gave the all clear because Lanie continued, lifting a section of hair from Kaylee's face.

"Strangled is my first conclusion. It can see not sign of sexual assault, her clothes all seem to be in place. But as always, will know more when I get her into my lab."

He stayed where he was, his throat dry as he watched Kaylee being loaded into the medical examiner van. He then watched as Beckett glanced around the scene, doing her normal collection of details. Her body was tense, aware that he was there, that something was wrong. But the urgency of the scene took precedence. It always did and it had too. He knew that. Not that it mattered. He was still reeling from what he had just seen. When she was done, exchanging a few words with the techs before turning to him, she silently grabbed him arm. She strode him back to their waiting car. Once they were in, she turned to him, her face solemn.

"So, care to tell me what happened?"

Castle sighed.

"I know her."

Beckett frowned.

"As you already mentioned. How?"

"Through my writing. She's a friend. A good one."

Beckett nodded.

"Well let's go back to the precinct. I want to ask you some questions about Kaylee."

Castle nodded and leaned his head against the window as Beckett started the engine. He tried to swallow the dryness from his tongue. Kate Beckett knew him too well. Because for the drive back to the precinct, she said nothing at all. He could feel her eyes on him though, concern coming off her in serious waves. She flanked him as they went from the car into the office. Instead of the interview room, she pulled him into a private room away from prying eyes. He settled himself in a chair and she did the same next to him. She took out a notebook that he had never seen her grab and placed it on the table. She sat back and offered him a twitch of a smile.

"So, from the top. When did you meet Kaylee?"

"Many moons ago, there was a writing exercise called Writer's Exchange. The name is as it implies. It was a great way to get some editing and when you are stuck, to get a different perspective. I reached out to Kaylee when I read one of her manuscripts. It was beautiful and so well written. She has a unique style. Very different from others I have read. We kept in touch. She was one of those people who would move in and out of your life but you always picked up where you left off."

Beckett cleared her throat but Castle bet her too it.

'There was no romantic involvement there. She's been married for years."

"Happily?"

"Deliriously. It was rather sickening."

It hit him again, the wave of what had just happened.

"Kate, she has kids. Jesus, Spencer and the kids. We have to tell them."

Castle made a move to stand but Beckett grabbed his wrist."

"Ric, give Lanie a little more time. We might be able to give Spencer the answer he needs. Trust me, answers are the best thing for them all."

It wasn't her tone or her hand on her skin. It was her saying his first name, a rare event. He sunk back into his seat. He put his hands on the table and realized that they were shaking. And it felt ridiculous. He knew what it was, he knew it was the shock. He had seen a good friend dead on the pavement. He knew the blood hadn't returned to his face and that the dryness in in his mouth now extended to his throat. He tried to clear it again, swallowing heavily. When Beckett stood, turning on her heel, he resisted the urge to grab her and tell her to stay. He watched her go, silently closing the door behind her. He simply stared at the top of the table, examining the intimate grains of wood. The door opened again and a glass of water was placed in front of him. Next to that, a fresh cup of coffee. He looked up as Beckett settled herself back down again.

"Lanie will let us know as soon as she can."

"Until then?"

"We wait. You can tell me more about Kaylee."

Once the Kaylee story started, it was easy. He sipped his water and coffee and Beckett remained silent.

Within the hour, they were in Lanie's domain. Her eyes flicked over Castle before she resumed her normal explanation.

"As I suspected no sign of sexual trauma. She was strangled. Judging by the angle, they caught her from behind and simply pulled until she stopped struggling. She died between 4 and 5am this morning. There is something else."

Beckett raised an eyebrow as Lanie hesitated.

"She was almost three months pregnant."

It was all Castle could do to not stumble and end up on the floor. He felt Beckett take his arm. He almost failed to notice it travel down until her palm was touching his, small fingers locking around his larger ones, trying to offer some sort of comfort. Lanie continued to speak but he was too far from that now. He wondered if Spencer knew that they were on baby number four. He only realized that they were done when he felt a tug at the end of his arm and his legs responded, following Beckett out the door. She hesitated for a few seconds before releasing his hand. The loss of her strength and warmth was almost physical. He didn't like it.

"Castle, I need to know that you can do this."

Castle frowned.

"You mean that you would cut me off from this?"

Beckett searched his face for a moment before she nodded slightly.

"I will if I don't think you can do this. Everything you know about Kaylee and somethings you never did are about to be exposed. You have to be ready for that. You know the routine by now."

Castle nodded, gripped by what he knew drove Kate over and over again. He needed to see this done. He needed to face the person who did this.

"I'll be fine."

Beckett took his word and remained silent as they walked back to their area. Castle's phone chirped and his stomach sunk as he looked at the screen. He showed it to Beckett.

"It's Mother. She was always awfully fond of Kaylee. One of the few women in my life she actually liked."

"You don't have to tell her."

Castle didn't answer, pressing the phone to his ear.

"Hello Mother."

He waited for a few moments as she caught him up on her audition. When she ran out of steam, he spoke."

"Mother, we caught a murder this morning. It was Kaylee Dean."

"No."

He heard a small shuffle and his mother's sigh.

"I know."

"Are you ok?"

"I'm fine."

His voice betrayed him. He could hear it.

"Is Kate with you?"

Castle glanced at the woman in question.

"Yes."

"Pass me to her."

Castle did as he was told, shrugging at Beckett's cocked eyebrow. He didn't even bother to listen to the conversation, Kate's answers all short and giving nothing away. She gave a short farewell before hanging up and handing him back his phone.

"How badly did she embarrass me?"

Beckett smiled.

"She gave me orders, in no uncertain terms, if I feel you are struggling you are to be sent home."

"She forgets sometimes that I am not her little boy anymore."

"Don't be ridiculous. Every child remains that way to a parent. Alexis will always be your little girl, whether she is four or seventy-five."

Castle smiled, knowing that it was definitely true. Then the smile felt wrong and it fell away.

"We had better get going."

Beckett fell into step beside him and they silently headed towards the situation that neither of them wanted to be in.