Title: protector
Disclaimer: not my characters
Warnings: daemon AU; talk of violence/torture/brainwashing
Pairings: none
Rating: PG
Wordcount: 6500
Point of view: third
Prompt: Author's choice, any, daemon AU
Note: at A03, I can link to what the daemons are. Here, I'll post it at the very end.
Another note: somewhere in the books, Pullman says it's possible for humans to have human-shaped daemons and that this is known. Here, in my fic, there has never been a human daemon (or, at least, it wasn't recorded) and nobody knows it's a possibility. Also, I don't remember if daemons and humans can communicate telepathically, but here, in this 'verse, they can't. Steve and Bucky, though, can both because of Bucky's form and later due to the serum(s).
Final note: For posting purposes here, I've divided the fic into four chapters of 15 six-sentences (well, there's a 16th drabble in the fourth one because otherwise it'd have been by itself.
Steve's daemon is named Buchiel; Steve calls him Bucky.
Steve's health is never very good and they both listen to Ma cry about it, Hesiah crooning to her late at night, trying to help her sleep; the way Steve is always getting in fights doesn't much help matters.
So when Bucky says one day, "Steve, I know how to fix this," Steve just asks, "How?"
Bucky takes a deep breath, his wolf cub body swelling with the air – but he shifts in a way Steve's never seen before and he keeps growing, and it's different in a way than that time he was a giraffe.
"Bucky?" Steve asks, close to panicking. "Bucky, what are you doing? Stop, you'll hurt yourself!"
And then there's a boy standing in Steve's tiny little cubby of a room, with dark hair and pale eyes, and he says, "I can protect you, Steve," and the only thing about him that hasn't changed is his voice.
…
"Oh, boys, what have you done?" Ma asks and Hesiah circles Bucky, sniffing at him, demanding, "What do you think you're doing, Buchiel?"
"I'm gonna protect Steve," Bucky says, glaring down at Hesiah while Steve looks up at Ma and says, "I've never seen a human-shaped daemon before."
"We can't let anyone know," Ma says. "It isn't safe."
"Oh, Buchiel," Hesiah says. "Oh, you foolish boy."
.
James Buchanan Barnes is born when Sarah Rogers calls in a favor at the hospital; he is her old friend's son, sent down because his family could no longer support all of their children.
Steve starts carrying a little tin, and even with Bucky following him everywhere, people realize that Steve Rogers' daemon must've settled into something small and shy – which fits him perfectly, people think, that tiny Rogers boy.
…
Bucky never gets hungry or thirsty. He and Steve spend days seeing how far they can get from each other and it frightens them to realize they can be whole blocks from each other before it starts to hurt.
"Is it because I'm this?" Bucky asks, staring down at his hands in fear.
"It doesn't matter," Steve assures him, reaching out for those human hands. "It doesn't matter, Bucky, it's a good thing. We're special."
Bucky's arms go around him, holding him tight, and it's – in any other shape except maybe a monkey, he couldn't do this, and he knows it's wrong, but like this, he can fight bullies for Steve, he can get work when he's bigger to help support Ma and Steve, and that is everything.
"I need to start carrying a tin, too," he says, and he doesn't need as much as sleep, so he'll start figuring out this human thing while Steve's resting because he can go whole blocks before it starts to hurt.
…
Bucky goes with Steve to school. As they get older, he finds a job. He misses flying, sometimes, but the first time he's able to finish a fight for Steve instead of just chasing off the daemons, it's worth it.
They never tell anyone, of course, that Bucky is his daemon; they both pretend to have something fragile that needs to be kept safe. Ma is scared all the time now, that someone will find out, will want to experiment on them, and Bucky and Steve both grow to fear doctors.
Daemons know, but even the bullies never say anything – they just all steer clear of him, and Bucky's fine with that.
…
Ma and Hesiah catch tuberculosis and –
And –
Bucky takes care of everything, always touching Steve somehow, and then Steve – he needs to run, so he rushes from the cemetery, feeling their bond stretch and stretch –
And then Bucky is at the foot of the stairs, eyes calm, and he says, "You're not alone, Stevie. You'll never be alone. Don't take all the weight yourself."
"I know, Buck," he says, letting his head hang, his shoulders slump.
Bucky's eyes are warm, his hands, too, and Steve – Steve lets himself break at last because Bucky is there to put him back together.
…
The favor Ma called in is so good that Bucky gets drafted into the army.
Steve panics. Bucky breathes deeply, lets the notice fall, and puts his hands on Steve's shoulders. His hands look so big, so strong, and Steve is so fragile in his grip. Bucky is so big as a human and sometimes it still surprises him.
"It'll be okay, Steve," he promises, and pulls him into a hug when Steve begs, "How?"
…
"We can run," Steve suggests one night, after another rejection as Steve Rogers. There are other names – Steve Reynolds, Steve Smith, Steve Williams, each rejected, each not good enough to go with Bucky.
"You'd never forgive yourself," Bucky murmurs from his place behind Steve, legs tucked up against Steve's, arms wrapped around Steve; everywhere they touch echoes in Steve's mind.
"But – we've never been that far from each other," Steve says; his heart stutters beneath Bucky's hand. Bucky's leaving tomorrow for training.
"It'll be fine," Bucky tells him, lips brushing the back of Steve's neck, "I'll be the best damn soldier they've ever seen."
…
In the morning, Steve goes with Bucky to the train station and they shake hands, then hug goodbye. The tin is tucked into Steve's pocket and he squeezes it with shaking fingers as the train pulls away. He has no idea how Bucky – Steve stumbles home and collapses onto the bed, sobbing as the bond stretches and stretches and stretches –
He wakes up to the bond pulsing in his mind and he tries to wrap around it, feeling Bucky warm and alive.
Stevie, he hears faintly, oh, fuck, Stevie, it hurts.
We can do this, Buck, he says, sending all the love and strength he has, I swear, Buck, we'll survive this.
…
On his forms, Bucky writes Samale and cricket. None of his fellow trainees or later his unit ever see her. At night, though, some of them hear him talking to someone he calls Sammy.
On every new enlistment try, Steve writes Buchiel and spider. He keeps the tin in his pocket and squeezes it till his hand hurts every time he's rejected.
They both sigh in relief when the bond lets them know they're getting closer before the message reaches Steve to let him know Bucky's on the way home.
…
Bucky spends three months in Europe before he begins impressing the brass, who send him home to rest while they decide where to send him to cause the most damage. Crossing the ocean nearly killed him and Steve both, but he was able to cling to their bond, feeling Steve do the same, and he knows they're much stronger, now.
If anyone ever finds out –
"You're talented, Barnes," he hears over and over, and the daemons ignore him, every last one of them, because they know.
And then he's back in Brooklyn, arms around Steve, and he breathes in Steve's scent, listens to his heartbeat, tastes his skin as gently as he can, feels his pulse, stares at him from head to toe making sure he hasn't done anything stupid.
"I have two days," he tells Steve when he can bear to pull away.
…
Dr. Erskine says, "Your daemon is not a spider." His otter is shuffling through the file; Steve can't resist looking over at her, but Aviva ignores him.
"Of course he is," Steve lies, fingers around the tin in his pocket.
Kindly, Dr. Erskine lets the conversation move on, and (as best Steve can tell) never mentions it to anyone else.
.
The procedure hurts, of course it hurts, worse than Bucky going across the ocean.
What the fuck are you doing?! he hears so loud and clear – and then warmth shoots through him, erasing the hurt, and he knows they'll survive this.
…
Captain America's daemon is a bald eagle named Fresia. Fresia is actually Frederick, and the daemon of one of the USO girls but Fred and Sophie are both willing to do their part, even though Steve apologizes every time. Sophie pats his shoulder and tells him, "You're a good kid, Steve."
Once, when Steve is walking back to Sophie's room with Fred soaring above him, Steve says, I miss you, jerk, and he hears Bucky's distant laugh.
.
"Shouldn't you be waiting with Steve?" Sophie asks Fred while Angie is shouting about her missing helmet.
Fred snickers and preens her hair.
…
The daemons are herded into different pens. The tin is pulled out of Bucky's hands and thrown into the corner; he shudders and cries out because he knows a human would have. The men are shouting and so are the daemons, and Bucky has never been so scared in his life, not even when he finally settled.
"We'll be fine, kid," Dugan tells him, getting in-between the guards and Bucky; Dugan's Fiona is howling the loudest of all the daemons, blistering the air with filth.
Bucky really doesn't believe anything will be fine at all.
…
Steve's in the middle of a performance when he feels the bolt of pain run up his spine, but he just gets the smallest hint before it's all gone, locked away.
It's not his pain. It's Bucky's. And Bucky doesn't want him to feel it because he still thinks it's his job to protect Steve.
He stumbles but looks at the audience and powers through it.
If Bucky's hurt, that means he's alive.
…
Phillips tells him Bucky's probably dead and Steve knows he isn't. Steve jumps out of plane, breaks into a Hydra factory, frees every prisoner on his way to Bucky.
I'm coming I'm here Bucky I'm here hold on I'm almost there Bucky, he shouts as loud as he can, and there's barely even a mumbling reply because whatever's wrong, it's bad.
And then he's looking at Bucky, bloody and bruised and strapped to a table with a needle array held above it, and Bucky's just looking at him, eyes blank –
"Stevie?" he murmurs, and it echoes inside Steve, and then his hands are on Bucky, and Bucky's stumbling against him, and, "Stevie, what're you doin' here?"
"Oh, god, Bucky," Steve says, shoving everything down because he can't break, not here, not now. "C'mon, we gotta go."