To Deserve You
Lewis/Hathaway
Chapter 1
…
James Hathaway was sitting at one of the tables in the corner by the window, taking a large gulp of his second beer when his Chief Super walked in with a group of her friends. When she spotted James, she could see he looked sad somehow. She excused herself before walking over to where James sat, completely unaware of the people around him.
"James…"
He looked up to see Jean looking down at him, concern showing on her face.
"Evening Ma'am."
"What are you doing here?" She asked surprised.
"I'm having a drink Ma'am."
"Don't get cocky with me Sergeant, I can see that. What I meant was that I was under the impression you and Lewis were having dinner together tonight."
"Yes well…it didn't exactly go to plan."
Jean took a seat beside him, feeling James tensing as she brushed his arm. She set his beer to the side and faced him, focusing all her attention on him.
"Alright…talk to me."
"Ma'am?"
"Come on James….what's happened."
"It's nothing."
"You're sitting in a crowded pub; drowning your sorrows instead of being with the man you love having dinner together…it's not nothing. Surely we've known one another long enough and I would hope trust one another to share personal issues, god knows I have."
"How are things with Andrew?" He asked, seeing sadness filling her eyes.
"We're going ahead with the divorce, it's for the best and I'm dealing with it."
"Are you…really fine with it?"
"Alright, in all honesty…no. Actually I feel like crying my eyes out, which is why my lovely girlfriends have dragged me out to take my mind of things. Now don't change the subject, I demand to know what's happened between you and Robbie, I'm not leaving until you do so…."
"I asked him to marry me tonight." He blurted out, trying to avoid eye contact.
Jean sat for a few moments just staring at him before she finally found her voice again.
"I see…and I take it that it didn't exactly go as planned?"
"You could say that."
"Did he say no?"
"He didn't say no as such but…"
"What then."
"He said I was being crazy, the idea of us getting married was insane…that was the word he used…insane."
"James I…"
"Don't defend him here, don't."
"I wasn't going to but have you ever thought that perhaps he's scared."
"Scared, of what?"
"Making the commitment to you, he was with Val for over twenty years. Her death was hard on him and I don't think he ever thought he'd ever fall in love again, let alone get married…especially to a man, to you."
"Yeah I know it's been hard on him but surely he can see how much I love him and want to be with him."
"He does, of course he does but he's obviously scared."
"Yes but what of?"
"Well that's something you have to ask him isn't it, you're not doing any good sitting in here. James go home and talk to him, don't let him push you away…you need to be the strong one here for a change."
James nodded his head in agreement as he stood up with Jean; she walked him outside as the rain began to fall.
"Thanks for listening Ma'am."
"You're welcome, good luck. I hope to hear some good news come Monday morning."
"I hope so to Ma'am, thanks."
James leaned in and kissed her cheek before he walked away, Jean turned around when she heard the door to the pub opening to see her friend Stephanie behind her.
"Come on boss lady; are you joining us tonight or what?"
"Sorry, I'm all yours."
Jean allowed Stephanie to pull her close to her as they walked back in to the pub to enjoy the rest of the evening.
…
James came to a stand still outside Robbie's flat, well more their flat now. James has been living with Robbie happily for just over a year, their relationship going from strength to strength or at least that's what James had thought until now. Putting the keys in the door to unlock it, he pushed it open and walked in, the warmth hitting him immediately. He took off his jacket and put it on the hook before walking slowing along the hallway to find Robbie sitting on the couch, the only light coming from the TV.
"Robbie…"
Robbie wanted to turn around, acknowledge James but he couldn't do it, instead focusing on the movie that was on.
"What are you watching?" James asked.
"Some comedy, not that funny really."
James came up and turned on the light that was on the side table beside Robbie before walking over and turning off the TV.
"Hey I was watching that."
"No you weren't." James said taking a seat on the coffee table so that he was facing Robbie, legs touching slightly.
Robbie looked at the way James was watching him, feeling nervous for the first time in a long time.
"I'm sorry lad, I ruined our evening."
"No…well yeah but…look it doesn't matter, it was my fault."
"No, it was my fault I…"
James leaned forward and took Robbie's hands in his as he pulled him closer to him and pressed a soft kiss to his lips before pulling back.
"Look, it wasn't my intention to scare you earlier or to rush you."
"It was just…a surprise."
"Robbie, I know this has been hard for us. Discovering our feelings for one another, coming out to everyone and I know that we've had a lot to deal with, comments from our co workers, the jokes, the gossip behind our back."
"James lad I…."
"But as long as I have you it's worth it, I almost never even notice now because I get to come home to you every night and I always will. It's to do with Val…the hesitation, doesn't it?"
"No lad, this isn't about Val…all she'd ever want is for me to be happy."
"Then what is it."
Robbie went quiet for a few minutes before looking back up to see James blue eyes boring in to him.
"I just…don't want you to regret this."
"Regret this…what, us."
"Yeah, remember I'm much older than you James. I don't want you to look back ten years from now and…."
"Stop, just stop. You know me, all of me." James knelt down in front of Robbie…bringing his lips crashing in to his.
"When I asked you to marry me it was because I love you so damn much and I don't want to spend the rest of my life with anyone but you…til death do us part."
The complete seriousness and determination in James tone proved to Robbie just how much the young man loved him.
"James lad, I'm so sorry for bein' a bloddy idiot."
"Yes but you're my idiot. Now, let's try this again shall we. Robbie Lewis…will you do me the honour of becoming my husband."
Lewis came to kneel down beside James on the floor, placing his hands on either side of James face before kissing him. "Yes lad, yes I'll marry you."
"About bloody time…Sir."
…
-Fin