The Morning Hours are Always Crazy by Batman100
The following disclaimer saying I have no ownership rights over X-Men Evolution, Ghost Rider or any songs performed by the Trashmen have unintentionally time-warped back to the 50s era. If possible, I shall use a time machine to go back to the 50s and reclaim said disclaimer.
Until then, enjoy this delightfully funny and crazy story
PS- haven't you heard? Cause' everybody's heard… you get the idea
It was the quarter of dawn at the X-Mansion and everything was peaceful and quiet… well, except for a certain new occupant who has a habit of 'night riding'
"YEEEE-HAWWWW! EAT MY DUST, YOU HARLEY-DAVIDSON HOGS! HAHAHAHAHA!" Ghost Rider cackled maniacally, tearing through the mansion lawn leaving a billowing trail of fire tracks, the ruckus awakening a very dazed and alarmed Scott and Jean
"Not again… I wish he'd at least wait for the rest of us to wake up before he starts that incredibly sexy motorcycle of his." Jean yawned, rubbing her tired eyes before getting up and heading for the restroom
"Well, Jean what else can I say? GR's practically married to that bike of his. Literally." Scott replied
"Very funny." Jean's voice droned in between gargling and the spitting of mouthwash. Scott simply spat into his spittoon, hoisted a ginger ale from his mini-fridge and headed downstairs, only to be greeted by raucous music from the record player. And it'd take a pretty damn smart genius to figure out who was singing
"PYRO! YOU'VE GOT FIVE SECONDS TO SHUT THAT (BLEEP) THING OFF, OR I'M GONNA KICK YOU IN THE (BLEEP) (BLEEP)!" Victor bellowed from the cabin as Scott rapidly lifted the record
"Hey! That was my tune, man! What gives, anyway?" Pyro asked as Scott slowly regained his sanity
"For one thing; it's driving everyone else nuts. Second; somehow you tricked Ghost Rider into buying… whatever the hell that record is. Anyway, that music has got to be under control." Scott stated as Pyro developed his sly grin
"Lemme ask youse somethin'. Have you heard?" Pyro quizzically asked as Scott did a triple take
"What?" Scott gasped in confusion, clearly not aware of his naivete leading him into Pyro's well-planned trap
Well everybody's heard about the bird! And well the bird, bird bird, the bird is the word! The bird is the word! Pyro shrieked, cackling insanely as an irate Jean charged toward him, a shovel raised over her head, an insane look in her eye
"THE ONLY WORD YOU'LLKNOW IS PAIN WHEN I GET DONE WITH YOU!" Jean babbled crazily, throttling Pyro with one arm before Ghost Rider managed to sedate the obviously feral Jean with a tranquilizer dart. Jean then just exhaled, collapsed on the floor and started to snore
"Thanks, GR. That was bloody perfect timin' mate." Pyro heaved, regaining his breath before reaching for the record, only for Ghost Rider to smack his right hand off the record "HEY!"
"So; you think you can simply pull the wool over ol' Flamehead's eyes and get away with it, eh? Well guess what bub! I aint that fooled easy, and lemme tell youse something else: I'm gonna be keeping my eye on you. Any more repetitions of that crazy hoopla music and I'm gonna have to get out my chain and school youse in some modern manners. Have I made myself perfectly clear?" Ghost Rider snarled, leaning his head toward Pyro's face, his eyes burning brightly orange
"mmm… ooh yes, oh yeah, oh, oh yes, yes, ohhh Ghost Rider…" Jean muttered in her sleep before snoring again, as Scott eyed his skeleton companion widely
"Let me ask you somethin': Just what did you inject my wife with?" Scott asked curiously as a heavily somnambulistic Jean started kissing Ghost Rider's biker boots
"Hey, hey. Easy there, Jeanie. These boots aren't made for kissing." Ghost Rider replied sheepishly
"You mean aren't made for walking?" Victor corrected. Ghost Rider just stared at him like it was the silliest response he's ever heard. "Naw, forget it. By the way, why the hell's Red gazing at your weiner." Ghost Rider then grabbed Victor by the collar "Care to repeat that, wise guy?"
"Easy GR, easy." Scott calmly assured before adding "Might wanna warn you, Sabes, GR here has a pretty fiery temper. So I wouldn't try to rile him up. Also, whatever you do, do NOT call him 'bonehead'."
"Why the heck can't I do that? Isn't it obvious what he looks like?" Victor retorted before noticing the carnivorous look in Ghost Rider's eyes
"That's better. Now what's this about that weiner crap?" Ghost Rider hissed as Victor then warily pointed downward as the brimstone biker jumped back in shock as he saw Jean apparently trying to hump him
"WHAT THE? JEAN! WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!" Victor squawked as a giggling Remy was watching the event with a camera
"Haha this'll go great on MeTube… Uh-oh." Remy then gulped, retreating fastly with Victor in hot pursuit
"YOU GET YOUR FILTHY CAJUN ASS BACK HERE! WHEN I GET MY HANDS ON YOU, I'LL TEAR YOU LIMB FROM LIMB!" Victor growled, chasing the fleeing Remy down the hall as Ghost Rider and Scott listened until the shouting finally ceased
"Huh. What the hey's eating him?" Ghost Rider asked, clearly surprised by Victor's animalistic, um "personality methods"
"You'll get used to it. He's um…" Scott paused before leaning in closer and whispering "He's not a very vivid morning person" then checked to see if Victor was listening
"I don't think he has it out on you, kiddo. You're rock solid. C'mon. Let's get Sleeping Beauty up before she starts humping my motorcycle again." Ghost Rider said, as Jean then started to stir
"Gee, talk about a long nap… Ghost Rider? What exactly…*happened* this morning?" Jean curiously asked. Scott and GR took a good look at each other, and knowing very well what will happen if they decide to spill the guts turned and then added "Jeanie, why don't we let that be our 'little' secret, y'hear?"
"Well now I do declare you do look so ever-mighty fine in that outfit. Oh, I think I'm getting the vapors." Jean teased in a very realistic Southern accent, as she caressed GR's jacket lapel as he placed his gauntlet hand around her hair
"Then c'mere and lemme give you some good old-fashioned southern hospitality." Ghost Rider assured, as the two um, acquaintances smooched lovingly as Scott watched with a look of admiration and respect over the hard-forged alliance his wife and his companion have made.