He's always behind him. Deku is always behind him. Picking up what he throws down, throwing out what he breaks, following him from room to room with excuses, explanations, his damn will to "sort it out".
He has always talked too much, a real chatterbox when he's at it, you could trust his shy, discrete looks but fuck no, here he goes mumbling and going on and on with stupid explanations, like words could help. He is that annoying presence, sticking like glue, a shadow he has try to push out so many times until worn down he got used to it, had to bear it, accept in his life. A shadow he cannot push back.
Katsuki returns from his mission and finds Deku waiting for him. He set the table and prepared the meal like some cheap housewife. Doesn't he have a life, people to save, other priorities than playing that joke like kids play tea parties? They earn enough to order, hell they even earn enough to eat sushi everyday, so why should he face his joyful air and the expectation of a nice word, of a thank you, of anything? Anyway Deku doesn't even cook well. He tells him while slumping into the chair with a stern look. The fish is almost burned, the rice is too sticky, and it would have been better with teriyaki sauce – he sees Deku's smile shake as he gobbles down his portion and critiques burst out.
It's not like Katsuki couldn't manage food: he's quite the chef actually.
"What did you even do today? You don't have saving the world business to deal with or something?"
Deku thinks he invites him to tell his day, and tries to do some small talk about work, weather and shit, but Katsuki cuts him, suddenly noticing the new lampshade on the ceiling. He frowns. He had told him to wait. The model he bought doesn't match the decoration, that green is too acid, damn it! Did he even thought about cutting the power before installing it? He's got zero practical skills, and Katsuki is sure he did it like an amateur.
He doesn't listen the brunet protests, leaves his meal behind, pulls out the stepladder with a disgusted air.
What do you mean, not the moment? Of course it's not the moment but what choice does he has? He should just have listened! He would have done it quietly instead of being forced to fix his mistakes. Of course, Deku screw up, that good for nothing. That's why HE should be in charge. He is telling him all the time. Wait til I come back. I'll do it. But no. No, Deku has to do it on the sly, preferably without him; supposedly because he's on his back all the time. Him? On his back? He's kidding right? Deku's acting like he wants to prove himself, like he could suddenly become better, deserve his regard (but without him, like he was the one stopping him from succeeding, like he's afraid) but he sucks, you can't trust him, and his relentlessness to prove the contrary and mess up again and again and again and force him to go back over every fucking time just puts him beside himself.
Maybe he's a pro hero that everyone admires, but it's enough to see him at home, outside of his work, to get that he's hopeless. He's slow, he's clumsy... He tells him and puts his hands near the light-bulb to unscrew it and Deku mumbles between his teeth and runs to the entrance to cut the power, but Katsuki's already taking apart the electrical circuit - he IS efficient - and swears when a spark crackles near his precious hands. A warning cry from Deku: the breaker is down. He undoes all the brunet's work, puts everything in order on the last step, every part, and starts it again. Down there, the young man is waiting, containing his frustration while glancing at the meal left on the table, which is getting cold. He prepared the soup following his mother's recipe, he knows it's delicious and even Kacchan can't deny it.
Katsuki, he does the work well, in the right order, precisely, and of course the wires are all lined up, no gape between the light and the ceiling, everything is straight, perfect, functioning. Color isn't great but at least it's pro-work.
He sighs with relief, then lets his sight fall on the dark mess of hair that awaits him down there. Deku is staring at his feet, he looks sullen. What, he dares to sulk? HE's the one who fucked up, he was supposed to wait, he TOLD him, but no he had to get all bossy at home, thinking he's at his hero office, that he can decide everything and that's how in the end nothing goes right! The nerd feels his tension but doesn't move, on the contrary he holds the ladder like an half-drown puppy grabbing a floating piece of wood. Katsuki understands he's stabilizing the stepladder, Katsuki shouts, refuses to come down, what the hell, when did he thought he needed someone to keep a ladder in place for him? Who does he think he is? He's not a shitty lost cat or some old lady his boyfriend keep saving day after day! He won't fall, he should know that, he's more talented than him in everything he's got the best reflexes he doesn't need someone to hold a stupid ladder!
"I DON'T NEED YOU!" explodes Katsuki, literally, and the sound of detonations makes Izuku back off.
Space. So he can climb down the ladder. Alone. Walk to the set table. Lay his hand on the tureen. Lukewarm. He could reheat it, they got induction plates and a microwave. But instead he grabs the dish, and Deku sees it coming and reaches with his hand, like he would protest, prevent it from happening. He moves to the kitchen, empties it on the sink. There. Ruined. Like the fish. Like his evening. And he does not stop there, he walks past the young man and his gaping mouth, gets his plate back, and begins to drop the meal into the trash can.
Deku is behind him and he feels from the tension in his fists he's not happy and he is going to sulk in his room but no, he babbles, "I have prepared the meal, Kacchan... You could at least put the leftovers in the fridge, if you don't want it I'll eat it later."
And he's fed up with him trying not to be annoyed, trying to hide that he's hurt, attempting to keep this tone, reasonable and calm and soft, as if he thinks he's a capricious child, as if he was the only adult in the room.
Can't he say it as it is? Can't he say he's a jerk and let it blow once and for all? He thinks it. Of course he does! So just say it! It's not like he doesn't give him occasions! But no, he wants to talk, just talk, always talk!
Katsuki doesn't want to talk. He wants to unwind. Deku is always behind him, and it's his patience, it's his kindness itself that infuriates him, he just wanted a quiet night, watch the news, play online, maybe have a good fuck. Relax. Not play pretend as a perfect sweet little couple like Deku would. Not having to watch his behaviour, to care about starry-eyed, precious sensitive Deku, the poor little thing. He just wants peace. If he dates guys it's not to get all the trouble, the fuss and whims, it's not to be stuck with some leech suffering from emotional dependency, always whining, one that counts the time they spend together, watches his meals, with his dietetics bullshit and his schedules, his neighbours reunions and this maniac habit of making him reminders for his job (who needs to remember the names of all their partners?). Deku is always, always behind him!
He knows what needs to be done, for him to learn his lesson. He's making a point here. He should have given him space. It's his fault. He should have read the signals. Lock himself in the room like he sometimes does. He just asks for a little break here. He's on edge. Can't take more. He can't breath. He did not ask him to prepare food. He did not ask him to change this light. He should know his place. He must know it, by now.
He turns back.
Hi there, this is a translation of a fanfiction I wrote in French. There will probably be a lot of mistakes and things that does not sound good in English. I would love to learn to write in English and I need some help with that ^^
I finished which was a long One shot last summer. I wrote it on an impulse. It's a bit old now so my passion for it decreased, but rewriting it in English somehow makes me discover it with a new look.
Katsuki is such an unsufferable diva here it would be fun if it wasn't so terrible. I read and rewrite this again and again so I see how ridiculous he is, like seriously WHO is whining and making a fuss here I wonder. I really want to punch him in the face, but it's not happening... well, not right now anyway _
This is a really pessimistic interpretation of the character, I know it does not fit his character development. Things have evolved differently in this AU and the romantic and codependant relationship that developped between Katsuki and Izuku... well, it's not good. I honestly did not put that much thought about justifying it at the time as it's just enhancing Katsuki's weak points, it doesn't seem unnatural to me. But now I am working on another fic in this setting so I have a better idea of what is going on.
I hope you will be interested. Please let me know what you think. I'd love to discuss a bit more with the English speaking community :)