Madi. Every time I see her fight, I see Lexa. I remember how scared I was when I saw her fight Roan. My heart pounding out of my chest every time he punched and disarmed her. Those minutes where just like those watching her leave… I felt like dying with every move Roan made, and in the end, when she finally defeated him, my soul just crawled back inside me. It was then I realized how difficult life was going to be without her.

I wish I didn't have to live it, though. Or at least, not this soon.

At times, I feel Madi is a gift to me from Lexa. I just see her in Madi. Her wisdom and security. I believe it was true when she told she was always going to be with me, just before parting ways at the City of Light. Those memories come back to me, and each time I feel my stomach sick just like it did back then… Why did I held her for so little time? How I wish I could go back in time… Every night before bed, I imagine a world where I never entered that room with Murphy and Titus, so that way Lexa never ran after me.

A few days ago I had a dream she was next to me, asleep, in the Shallow Valley. Bellamy and the others were at the Ark while Octavia and my mother were still in the Bunker, waiting for us to reunite. But we were alone in the surface, with the green trees and grass around us, spending our days building houses for everyone for when they returned, telling Maddie all of our adventures.

We were a family and I was finally happy, after three stressful years with our eyes open day and night, waiting for war. We were finally safe, and together.

I cried more than expected when I woke up alone, in the darkness of the Bunker. I tried not to make a sound, for Octavia could find me any minute... Well, she or Dyioza. Everyone wants me dead so they can take revenge on Maddie.

Sometimes I think I should have removed and destroyed The Flame, but I couldn't. I could never destroy the only thing I have left from Lexa.

-Clarke? – said a quiet voice.
-Bellamy? – I asked, scared.
- We need to go, they are coming. – He said desperately, after he saw me hidden under a table.
- How is Madi doing? – I asked, standing up.
- You know she is fine. That's why they are trying to take away what she cares the most for. You. – He said with a quiet smile on his face that showed sadness at the same time.
- She is just like her – I answered proudly. Lexa was really smart and always new exactly what to do.

Bellamy nodded unwillingly and turned his eyes away for a minute. Then he turned them back and stared directly at me – We have to go now – he said seriously.

We walked through the cafeteria and tried to escape through the Gladiator Arena's access.
-Up – Bellamy ordered, reaching the rope towards me.

I started climbing up with my eyes half closed, feeling the sunlight blinding me, when suddenly it was blocked.
- Found her! – Miller laughed as he started climbing down the same rope.

Bellamy started shooting as I let the rope go. I fell hard and, as always, Bell helped me up again.

-You better stay away from her! – Miller yelled as a bullet pass right by his arm.
- You better back off! – Bellamy replied as he fought the rest of the Wonkru, as I ran to each one of the exit doors, each one with someone willing to kill me.
God know how many steps back I took, but my back slammed against Bellamy's. We were surrounded.

-Why don't you give up, princess? Miller asked with a smirk on his face.
-You will never remove Maddie, and my death is not going to make her quit – I replied coldly.

- It won't? You're probably right, but she will learn not to piss us off! – He said as he pointed his gun at my head.
- Please don't do it – Bellamy begged while tears started to form in the corner of his eyes.
- I'll let you say your goodbyes – Miller said, with the gun still pointing firmly at my head.

-Bellamy…
- No Clarke, I won't say goodbye to you. Miller please… -
-Bellamy… – I interrupted – there is no point in keeping this up.
- Clarke – he started crying as he stared at me – You can't leave me again – his shoulders dropping and his head down as he started sobbing harder – I can take you not being with me, but not you gone forever.

I hugged him and started crying. A while back he confessed he was in love with me, and even though I love him too, I couldn't correspond him in the same way. I never wanted to love again. What I felt, and still feel for Lexa has been so strong, that I have just waited the time in which I can see her on the other side.

-Take care of Maddie for me, will you? – I asked.
-I don't think she needs me – he answered sobbing.
-You will need each other – I said staring directly into his eyes, as I lightly touched his face and kiss his cheek.

- I'm ready – I said as I looked towards Miller, tears in my eyes.

I sat on the floor and closed my eyes, listening to the sound of Bellamy crying in a way I had never heard him. He screamed time and time again for me not to leave him as I felt my heart crushed, for leaving him, Maddie, my mother, and everyone who was once my friend. Miller included. When did we became each other's enemies?

Before I could continue thinking how everything came down to this, I heard a bang, followed by everything turning white, and then, silence.

I felt like floating, and then, I fell asleep.

I woke up in my bed, at the Shallow Valley. I turned around and saw her bare back staring at me, with that tattoo I loved she never fully explained to me. I slowly reached my hand thinking she would vanish or I would wake up any second… but it didn't.

I touched her, and her skin felt so soft as I kissed her shoulder, and she woke up. My heart started pounding out of my chest.

- Good morning, Clarke – Lexa said with a smile – I've missed you.

- I've missed you so much – I answered without believing my eyes. – Are you real? – I asked, afraid of her answer.

- I'm as real as you – she said.

- … But…? –

-Welcome to the other side – she said with a kiss, and this time, without knowing how, I knew nothing was ever going to take her from me again.