'What have I done? What have I done?'

The windshield was destroyed and the impact had sent the glass flying into the interior of the car. In front, the car was smashed. Every window and piece of glass was shattered. The freeway sounds sped by but the world seemed to be upside down to the patron saint of denial. Jimmy, with hands still on the steering wheel, looked in front of him and realized the car was upside down. Every muscle screamed in pain as he reached for his seatbelt. The impact had crushed the release button giving Jimmy no way to escape. He looked to his right but the air bag blocked the view of the passenger seat.

"Johnny."

There was no answer.

"JOHNNY!"

Jimmy tried to push the airbag out of the way but failed due to the restrictions of his seat belt. Frantically, Jimmy shook the seat belt yet it didn't budge. Jimmy ran his hand through his hair.

'This is not happening.'

Jimmy removed his hand and found it covered in blood. It glistened in the headlights of passing cars. Jimmy groaned and clawed at the airbag once more but couldn't do anything but streak it with blood.

The sirens were faint but Jimmy could hear them. Jimmy collapsed into his seat and covered his face with his hands. He began to tremble violently as reality was dawning on him. The airbag mocked him but he did not attempt to penetrate it again.

The sound of wheels skidding across the pavement echoed through his head. Laughter turned into screams and a loud crash filled the air as they collided with the brick wall on the side of the road...

The door flew open. Jimmy opened his eyes and found himself staring into the ones of a firefighter. Without exchanging a word the man reached over a began cutting away the seatbelt with a knife. While he was being freed, Jimmy heard the door to the right open.

"JOHNNY."

No answer.

The firefighter cut the last thread of the safety contraption and placed The wounded man's arm around his own neck but Jimmy pulled away. Wriggling around his savior, he rolled out of the vehicle.
Nothing could have prepared him for what he was about to see.

The car was crushed into a small ball. The only decent part left was the side of the car Jimmy had been trapped in. There were firemen dousing the trunk with water to stop the flames that had been produced. Blood was evident on the shards of glass that were reflecting the light from the flames. But the most gruesome sight was Johnny. His neck was completely scratched and shards of glass dug into his skin, ripping his skin open. Blood dripped down his face from his hairline and nose. Jimmy ran back towards the car but was stopped abruptly as a hand grabbed his wrist with great force. Jimmy turned and found himself facing a police man.

"Hey, you're not going anywhere!"

'Johnny. I need to be with Johnny.'

Jimmy couldn't vocalize his need but continued pulling his wrist away with no success. The medics' yells reached Jimmy ears and turned to see Johnny being pulled free from the wreck. As relived as Jimmy should have felt, the sight of all he had left in the word broke his heart. The boy was still breathing but he was mangled and covered in blood.

Finding new strength, Jimmy yanked himself free. The police ran after him but stopped when he saw Jimmy kneel next to the broken man's body.

Jimmy ran a hand over the boy's forehead. A tear trickled down his face and fell onto the others, rippling the blood as it landed.

"Johnny." Jimmy whispered as he grabbed the hand that rested on Johnny's chest.

There was no response.

Jimmy cried out as the tears began to stream down his face. He looked around. The scene was blurred now by the tears. So many sounds echoed all around: Sirens, screams, car horns, crackling fire. It was too much.

Suddenly Jimmy felt a small squeeze coming from Johnny's hand.

"Johnny!"

The Jesus of suburbia opened his eyes. Jimmy took both hands into his own and leaned forward.

"I'm so sorry. I didn't mean for this to happen. I wish it was me that was dying!"

At his own words, Jimmy stopped. He looked at Johnny and saw a small nod. He couldn't deny it. They both knew Johnny was dying.
"I'm so sorry-"

Johnny reached up and pushed Jimmy's hair out of his eyes. With his thumb, he removed the black tears from Jimmy's cheek. They locked eyes and Johnny smiled.

"Thank you."

Jimmy's ear perked up and more tears came rushing out. He placed his forehead onto Johnny's stomach and sobbed into his blood soaked leather jacket. Johnny played with hair.

"Thank you for everything. You taught me how to live."

Jimmy sat up. "No, Johnny-"

Johnny squeezed his hand. "I love you Jimmy."

A hand rested on Jimmy's shoulder. "We don't have much time."

Several paramedics reached down and grabbed the corners of the stretcher Johnny had been laying on. They began walking him to the ambulance and Jimmy walked beside them, never letting go off the other boy's hand. They began to lift the stretcher into the vehicle when Jimmy was pulled away, his hand escaping from Johnny's.

"Don't think you're getting away so easily." The cop said from behind. Jimmy trashed wildly but didn't have the strength to break through.

"JOHHNY!"

Jimmy could see Johnny trying to sit up to look at him but before they could look into each others eyes once more, the ambulance doors closed.

"NOOOOOOO!"

The cops held onto Jimmy as he kicked and flailed his arms until the tears had reappeared. He collapsed onto the floor, curling up into the smallest ball his body would allow him to make.

'Its all my fault! It's all my fault!'

The sun was shining down onto Jimmy as he stared at the earth before him. There lied the man he loved, dead because the driver thought he was sober. But when was he ever sober Jimmy thought. He dropped the red rose that was enclosed in his grasp onto the mound of earth that separated Jimmy from the Johnny. All the saint wanted to do was blow his brains out and join him. But he knew that was not what Johnny would have wanted. So he murdered himself in his state of mind.

"Johnny..."

Jimmy felt the tears leak out but quickly brushed them away. He wanted to be strong unlike the others who were huddled somewhere in the vicinity.

"I love you too."

The words pained his heart as they escaped his lips. Johnny would never hear that phrase.

'Cause he's dead and it's my fault.'

He couldn't hide the tears in any longer. Kneeling before the grave, Jimmy cried. Out of grief, pain and regret. They freely flowed down his cheek and onto the dirt below him. He could have stayed there forever, crying the hurt away but before he could sob all the tears out, a hand rested on his shoulder.

"It's time to go. The trial starts in fifteen minutes."

Jimmy looked up at the police officer that stood above him. Sighing, he stood up, wiping the lingering tears off his face.

As they walked back to the cop car, Jimmy turned back to look at the earth one more time.

'It should have never ended this way.'

Jimmy continued walking and felt the wind press against his back, almost as if to encourage him to keep walking. He liked to think it was Johnny but he erased that thought before more tears could appear.

As the engine began to roar, Jimmy looked out at the scenery before him. Autumn leaves fell into piles on the grass. In the distance he could see children splashing in them; sending them flying into the air. Jimmy sighed as he slumped back into his seat, refusing to look back as they left they cemetery.

'Wake me up when September ends.'

The End

Please Comment and Review! I would really appreciate it!