A/N: I remembered I had this incomplete piece of crap saved in my folder, so I finished it. "I am trash and this is trash" is what writer's block is making me think. Sorry if the writing is a bit off; the first few parts were written two months ago and the last bits were written today.

Summary: "Good morning, Kise-kun." Something drops, clattering onto the wooden floor. "You're not real," whispers Kise, looking frantic and scared, his hope and longing hidden by it because this was just one of his delusions, wasn't it? He was crazy, like everyone said. "I thought you wanted it to happen." Kuroko states as he continues to pour tea into a cup.

His mother look outraged and he flinched. Never had he ever in his life made his mother so angry before. He felt so guilty and scared by her expression.

"I can't believe you, Ryouta, why would you –"

Yet, he had to defend himself. He had no choice, when she didn't even support his decision to finally leave for the outside world. Why wouldn't she understand that he was finally getting the independence she always wanted him to have?

Isn't she supposed to be happy for him that he was no longer caging himself to his room? Confining himself to his self-made world of wallowing in helplessness and misery?

"Mom, please –"

She screeched, like a wild animal guarding its territory from outsiders. He felt so hurt by her outburst that his words fell short and his mouth closed into a thin line, blocking everything unnecessary, like the things he was going to say.

"No buts!"

Then, she sobbed.

"I can't believe I raised you," her tears kept spilling like a broken dam and Kise knew he was broken in the inside too, when she said her next words. "I can't believe I have such a useless son."

[He doesn't want to remember.]

The hurtful things she said afterwards.

[He doesn't want to remember.]

"Why can't you –"

[He doesn't want to remember.]

The hurtful things she said about him.

[He doesn't want to remember.]

So what if he loved him, even if he was-

"Well, why can't you understand –"

[He doesn't want to remember.]

The barbs. The coiling wire that was threatening to strangle him until his windpipe was completely constricted and he could no longer breathe.

[He doesn't remember.]

"It's been so long and yet you –"

[He can't remember.]

"Don't you fucking dare –"

[But does it matter, even if he remembers?]

.

.

There is an annoying buzzing sound in the air and a half-awake Kise knows what it is, groaning into his pillow in the process. There are times when Kise just wishes he could dig a hole and crawl into it, so he could get out of his crappy life and forget everything.

His hand slides out from under its cotton covers and slams the alarm clock, finally giving him some relief of silence. Before he gets too comfortable, he kicks off his blankets with as much vigor as he can muster and jumps off the bed to head for the kitchen.

He does not want to wake up, but he needs to anyways, because it's time to get ready for his job and if he won't be able to buy any necessities of life if he doesn't work. His parents no longer send him any money, because they want nothing to do with the "useless son" and his two older sisters are too engrossed in their jobs and husbands to care about him, citing that their little brother is not so little anymore and can take care of himself just fine. Kise is alright with this particular arrangement, so he doesn't feel sad that his family has either essentially ignored or forgotten about him.

What he doesn't like, though, is living and breathing every day, stuck in a system that does no favors for him. He has to work to get food, work to get basic hygiene, work to sleep and work to live. It is a boring, dull and very pathetic life he has to lead, especially when his job is the worst job of all jobs in the world. Obviously, due to his apathy, hatred for his job and basically his life, he does not feel like waking up to another stupid day where he has to do stupid things and cater to stupid people.

Yet, the presence of one makes Kise feel that it's okay to live, just for a little longer. As cliché as it sounds, this person that Kise loves wholeheartedly is the only reason that the blond is still breathing and suffering the system, because if Kise decides to disappear, he would feel regret that he left his lover behind. To Kise, it didn't matter if his family or acquaintances missed him, because Kise didn't care about them. The only person he did care and sincerely love, was him, because Kise's world revolved around one person.

So he smiles at the mirror after he finished brushing his teeth and washing his face, because smiling in the morning was a good way to start the day. For him, Kise was going to make his day at work the best as possible, without complaints and without wanting to murder the pests that were his nosy coworkers and customers.

He changes into his work clothes, which was a green and white shirt with the logo of a convenience store, FAMI and a pair of faded jeans. Then he pins his nametag on, gets his bag, grabs any essentials – keys, wallet, cellphone – and slips into a pair of blue sneakers. His day didn't really start out great, but for him, Kise would endure it and make it great for himself. After all, the blond didn't want to be grumpy when he came back to greet him. That would sour their relationship and Kise didn't like taking out his frustration on his object of affections.

Before heading out, he takes out his cellphone from his pocket and when the screen comes to life, Kise's eyes soften and he gives a genuine smile, full of love and adoration.

"Good morning, Kurokocchi." He greets. "I'm sorry I can't get to you in the early morning, but I'll come back soon, so please wait for me."

Kise traces the screen with a finger. Oh how he wished he could see and touch the real one, tracing the beautiful blue locks, the fullness of his lips, the soft lines of his jaw and the nape of his neck. Imagining doing it right now was tough, but Kise was used to it. He had to be, because if he didn't, he wouldn't feel comfortable going to work at all and no one – or specifically, Kise and him – wanted that, did they?

"See you soon."

He pressed the power button and the screen went lifeless.

Kise sighed. It was time for work, he thought as he exited his apartment.

.

.

The entire time at work, it's been just the same ol' boring routine.

Enter through the back door, greet the coworker whose name he didn't remember, leave his bag in the locker and go out to man the cashier with a fake smile. He even greets his customers and pretends to know the hopeful, naïve ones as a part of it as well.

In actuality, how Kise was at work was a big fat lie. It was just a façade, a safety precaution to avoid any trouble and also to reel in regulars. It was Kise's own white lie and no one else's, because it was to protect himself and gain a few benefits. Nothing more, nothing less.

But sometimes, the routine had its fair share of annoyances and irregularities.

One of the displeasures Kise would have to face is when girls or women fell in love with him at first sight would try to brush their hand against his when he tries to take the items from them to be scanned, sometimes causing the items to fall and sometimes, he would be blamed for it. He also had to deal with being stared at occasionally, especially by giggling school girls who thought he was eye candy that did not get frustrated at their constant attention on him. There were also other times when they tried to appeal to him by showing off, like wearing shorter skirts or attempting to "tease" him by showing him a bit of cleavage or acting like the cutesy and shy type. It was not in the least a bit sexy, because it never failed to make the blond disgusted and they never knew that he hated the cutesy and shy act.

The irregularities were the most infuriating. At random times, he will be called out by approximately two to three girls in a day and they would confess to him. It was irritating, because he already had someone and he was barely interested in some stupid pretty girl whose name he didn't even try to remember, not even out of social niceties. There were a few memorable occasions, like an office worker accusing him of leading her on, a middle school girl that accused him of being gay – not that she was far off the mark, but he had no sexual preference, he only loved one person – and a woman that accused him of being a womanizer.

There were times when he wanted to be the jerk he always was when he was in middle and high school himself. He hated associating with those that he thought were beneath him, not because he was snobbish but due to being picky. There was no point letting those who would drag you down into your life if you could cut them off yourself. But if you entered the working life, you had to be friendly and amiable to everyone, because they had the power to drag you down.

Kise sighed. He hated having this job, but it was the only job that didn't bother him as much as his last. At least thinking about him, made Kise smile and patiently wait for the sun to set, which signified his shift's end.

He took out his cellphone again and stared at the screen, then closed it and got back to work.

When he got home, he would greet his beloved correctly.

.

.

As soon as he came back, he rushed to his room like a frazzled animal running from its predator. He didn't care that he was still wearing his socks or his work clothes. He didn't care about anything else, other than the fact that he was home and could see his beloved, as promised. Promises were meant to be treasured and upheld, otherwise why bother making it in the first place, right? Especially if it concerned his beloved.

After all, there was nothing more important than his beloved.

He prepared his art tools and with a steady hand, began to paint a picture burned into his memory like a brand onto skin. The paleness of his skin, almost translucent, his eyes that were ice cold but warm for him, straight hair that looks silky to the touch and the slight tilt of his lips, the quirk he has when he smiles and lights up the entire room –

Kise didn't care what other people said.

His beloved, Kuroko Tetsuya, was real.

.

.

Time was something useless to Kise, because time meant life and death. The beginning of one's time meant the beginning of life and the end of one's time was one's death. Kise and his beloved would be together forever, even if either one of them was scattered to the four winds or separated by the boundaries set by God. Walls, fortresses, towers – all of them would crumble as long as Kise longs for his beloved.

Therefore, time was irrelevant. Everything else was irrelevant unless it concerned his beloved and in this case, time had no say in their love.

The only reason he bothered to keep track of time was to wake up to see his beloved and for work.

The light that filtered into his room from behind the curtains signified that it was morning. He had been painting all night and the proof of it was his hands, touched by colors. The mess that were his hands made him sigh since he knew he slept right after finishing, which meant two things. He didn't wash his palette and he didn't brush his teeth. The one thing they shared in common was that they were both gross.

Kise slowly got up into a sitting position and stared at himself. He didn't remember taking his blanket with him. But he probably didn't remember doing so and shrugged anyways. At least he wasn't cold, so it was a win-win.

Just as he got up and folded the blanket, he felt hunger. It wasn't unusual, since he did come back without eating dinner. Good thing was that today was a Saturday, which meant no work and he could do his routine at his own pace.

Kise left his bedroom and headed to the kitchen. He had sandwiches and coffee in mind, wondering what kind of sandwiches he should make or what coffee beans he should use, until all of that flew out of the proverbial window when he saw his beloved.

So real that he could probably touch him and feel the warmth and skin –

"Good morning, Kise-kun."

Something drops, clattering onto the wooden floor. Maybe it was his jaw.

"You're not real," whispers Kise, looking frantic and scared, his hope and longing hidden by it because this was just one of his delusions, wasn't it?

He was crazy, like everyone said.

"I thought you wanted it to happen." Kuroko states as he continues to pour tea into a cup. As he finishes, he puts the kettle away and looks at Kise in the eye, frowning like nothing is wrong at all. "You just woke up, didn't you?"

Even though his beloved was right and this was exactly what he wanted – what he dreamed of every day –, he couldn't help but feel the cold feeling settling in his stomach, replacing the hunger with fear.

"Please go brush your teeth."

.

.

"Why do grieve so much over the boy? He's –"

"Mom, don't –"

[He remembers.]

"Since you've entered high school –"

[Everything. All of it.]

"This obsession of yours is driving me crazy! Don't you understand, Ryouta? Your grief is affecting everyone around you!"

"Then don't be around me!"

[Even if he doesn't want to.]

"— he's dead!"

[Even though he tried his best to forget everything but his beloved.]