Author's notes: I do not own My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic. That is the property of Hasbro and the loving work of Lauren Faust. I do not own Killing Floor. That is the property of Tripwire Interactive, and the vendoring of the game belongs to Steam and any other companies that allow purchase of Killing Floor for whatever price they demand. I shall not make money off of this story, and only intend to promote the game to increase the sales and to entertain those who wish to read this story. End Author's notes.
Police Sergeant Davin was hiding. All the rest of his team had been picked off as wave after wave of those monsters came and fell. Eventually it was just him and Mr. Foster, a man with a keen interest in steam punk. Poor soul was killed by the Patriarch when the bloody "king" came up from behind him and used the tentacle in his chest as a shish kebab skewer. And now it was just Davin with his empty shotguns, a pistol, and a knife against the Patriarch and his combination minigun and rocket launcher. Fucking hell. Might as well be a turkey on Thanksgiving Da-
"Enough clowning around!" Davin looked to his left and, sure enough, there was the Patriarch spinning up his gun. He bolted and just barely dodged being made into the fleshy equivalent of Swiss cheese. He turned a corner and smiled, for on the ground were two ammo cases. He slammed the door behind him, knowing that the Patriarch would have to stop and open the door, which left him vulnerable for a few moments, which is all Davin needed. He grabbed both ammo cases and reloaded his AA12 and grabbed both grenades that the cases provided. Better than nothing. Now I just wait for him to show up and...
"One in the pipe!"
"Shitshitshitshitshitshit!" Davin ran for cover from the rocket that was coming for him, gaining a new bruise or three from the concussive blast behind him. He saw the hallway where he and his crew had held the line for countless waves of these damn creatures and saw what he thought was his last hope. He ducked into it and slammed the door shut behind him, waiting with his reloaded AA12 aimed at the door at about the level of the Patriarchs' chest and set it to full auto. He waited until the door was open before finally beginning his barrage.
"Eat lead, you bloody monster! Burn in Hell, for all I care!" He squeezed the trigger on his AA12, pumping the Patriarch full of high-powered pellets. He felt time slow as its arm flew off and the gun detached as it fell to the ground, dead. He'd done it. He'd survived and beaten the Patriarch, a feat that none of his battle-forged friends would be able to appreciate now. He headed over to Sergeant Powers' corpse and removed the necklace of fingers from it. Although he didn't like it, he took the biggest finger from the Patriarchs' hand and added it to the necklace. As a show of respect, he wore the necklace and would continue to wear it as long as he was alive.
"This is Police Sergeant Davin requesting pickup. Area has been cleared of Zeds and the Patriarch has been defeated. I repeat, this is Police Sergeant Davin requesting pickup. Area has been cleared of Zeds and the Patriarch has been defeated. Over."
"Copy that, Sergeant. An extraction team is on its way to your location as of five minutes ago. Any information on survivors, Sergeant Davin? Over."
"Been too bloody busy fighting for my life to look. Will search the premises for survivors and report on my findings as I find them. Over."
"Copy that. This is HQ, over and out."
"Over and out."
And with that, Police Sergeant Davin began searching for survivors in the area codenamed "Bedlam." He felt the name fit the place quite well. He searched all the upper floors, then the ground floor and finally the basement. There he found something he wasn't expecting to find: survivors. Actual living survivors. He scrambled for his comm unit and, after a few seconds of butterfingering it, turned it on and radioed HQ.
"This is Police Sergeant Davin. Survivors have been found. I repeat, survivors have been found. Need an ETA on that pickup, HQ. Over."
"Roger that, Sergeant. ETA is three minutes. How many survivors did you find? Over."
"A total of six survivors. They'll need clothes. What they have now won't help them for long. Over."
"Copy that. Details, Sarge? Over."
"They're all approximately 1.8 metres in height, and they're a healthy kind of skinny. No wounds that I can discern, and they are currently unconscious. Over."
"Understood. HQ, over and out."
"Over and out."
He looked to the grouping of survivors and felt slightly jealous of them, seeing as they were all alive and together. Lucky girls, surviving as long as they have. What I'm worried about is them surviving the home base. These monsters just want to eat flesh. The guys at the base, though...
Davin frowned behind his mask, trying not to think of what the men might do to these girls. Suffice to say, he failed. He made it his new personal mission that these girls would not come to harm as long as he was able to prevent it.
Earlier, in another dimension...
Dear Princess Celestia,
I am unsure what to tell you. My sleep has been constantly interrupted by a nightmare with an unknown origin about beings that I haven't seen before. The dream has the same content, but the location is constantly changing. One night, it's a forest seemingly painted in red and the next it's a building of some kind. The content is almost always the same. I am being chased by strange bipedal creatures, some with metallic additions, some without. Sometimes I survive, but most of the time, I am slain and... consumed. I am at a loss as to what I should do. Please respond at your earliest convenience with any information you have that can help me understand and possibly rid myself of these nightmares.
Your faithful student,
Twilight Sparkle
Princess Celestia had read and re-read this same letter over and over again. She had an idea as to what Twilight was experiencing, but she needed to be certain. She didn't want to send her best pupil to someplace she would not be able to return from. She turned to her sister Luna, who was busy working the kinks out of the taxes with her pet abacus.
"Luna? Could you come with me, please? There is something I would like your advice on."
"Certainly, Tia." Luna stopped messing with her abacus and followed her sister out of the library, silently thankful for the distraction and curious as to what it was her sis needed. During the walk to Celestia's room, Luna let her mind wander as to what it was that required her advice. She still hadn't come to a reasonable conclusion by the time they arrived and sat down on the cushions to discuss what was on Celestia's mind.
"Luna, I asked you to join me because I'm not entirely certain about what I should do. I recently received a letter from Twilight Sparkle. You remember her, yes?" Luna nodded. "Well, she states that she has been having nightmares about beings she has never seen before. The dreams she's been having supposedly feature these beings doing something in different settings, and she would like to know why she's having these nightmares and if she can be relieved of them. Here's the letter if you wish to read it." Celestia passed the letter to Luna for her to read. She watched with growing unease as Luna's face somehow managed to pale with each word she read. After a few seconds, she rolled the letter up with her magic and passed it back to Celestia.
"I can see why you decided to include me in this."
"Please, Lulu. I need your help with this. I've seen too many ponies going mad from situations like this over the centuries you've been gone. Please tell me you'll help me with this."
Luna tapped her chin in thought before looking Celestia in the eyes and saying, "Alright. I'll need to see her dreams directly in order to gauge how best to act. I'll visit her tonight and see what I may."
Celestia nearly squealed with joy and practically tackled her younger sister. "Thank you, Lulu. I knew I could count on you to help."
"You want me to do what, now?!" Luna cringed at the tone in the other deity's voice. She wasn't particularly fond of being yelled at, and a thousand years of isolation didn't help that.
"I am asking you for help, Jesus. You're one of the main deities of that world and I need to know what is going on in there so I can send in a team to help solve the problem, whatever it is."
"I... Ugh, alright. One sec, lemme change worldviews really quick. I don't think you'll like what you see, Luna, so brace yourself. Humans aren't like your peaceful little ponies. Not by a long shot."
"I know that much, Jesus. Just show me what I need to see."
Jesus nodded solemnly and changed which world he was looking at, using a motion reminiscent of turning a page in a book. Within seconds, the images that Luna requested to see were brought up, and, had she been able to, she would probably have puked at what she saw.
"World HRZN, better known to the humans I was just watching as the game Killing Floor. This is what your sister's precious student has been peeking in on. I'm somewhat surprised she hasn't gone insane, at least by pony standards. I'm also surprised at how she managed to slip past The Barrier with ease and without being detected. I'll see if I can rope Thor and those confounded Imps of Yahtzee's into helping me look for any holes in it."
"Avengers Thor or traditional Norse Thor?"
"The second one, obviously. Besides, I haven't had a chance to taste Asgaardian brew in millennia. I hope it's still as good as the last time I had some. If you want, I can get you a pint or two. Or have you and Celestia forsaken brew after that little Moonshine incident a few months back?" Jesus smirked at Luna as she glared daggers at him.
"Oh har har har, very funny. At least I'm not so drunk that my blood literally is alcohol."
"Yeah, that is quite tr- Hey! That Last Supper was a one-time thing! And it wasn't even my blood they drank! How many times do I have to tell everyone?"
"If it wasn't your blood, then whose was it?"
"That would be mine, Luna." Luna turned around and saw a bearded old man in an immaculate white robe with a rope for a belt and a gnarled old walking stick in his hand.
"Grandpappy! Aw, I missed you!"
"I missed you too, Lulu. How's Tia doing?"
"She's doing well, albeit a little overworked."
"Grandpappy? Dad, did you have fun behind my back?" Jesus looked to his father, who just shrugged.
"Nah. A bunch of other deities have been calling me variants of grandpa or dad for some odd reason. Even though I'm younger than all of them. It's probably the beard. Lulu, is it the beard?"
"Hmm... Kinda. It's kinda hard not to like you. That, and everybody hates Zeus."
"Speaking of which, how's Kratos doing in Equestria? Didn't Zeus send some of his army there or something?"
"Hmm... Good question, Jesus. One sec, lemme check up with myself." And so God and Jesus waited patiently for Luna as she checked up on the progress of The Ghost of Sparta.
"Um... turns out he just angered an Ursa Major while on his way to Canterlot. He, uh, did manage to clear the army out of Ponyville, though so... That's good, I guess. So, um, Grandpappy? Is it alright if I send a team of mine to this world right here, see if they can help out in any way?" Luna pointed at HRZN and looked at God expectantly, puppy dog eyes ready to be deployed if they needed to be.
"I don't see why not. Your team'll probably need training, though. Who will comprise this group of yours and how were you planning on having them help?"
"You're going where?"
Twilight cringed a little at Spike's volume. She loved the little guy, but sometimes his unneccesarily loud questions just irritated her. But she couldn't stay mad at him for long.
"The girls and I are going on a trip to a new location by orders of the princess. Apparently we're needed there more than we are here." Although it hurt her somewhat to say that, she wasn't entirely hurt to say it to Spike. It was, after all, the truth. Just not the whole truth. And it helped that Celestia had taught her to do what she had just done. "We'll be back after at least a week. Celestia didn't say exactly how long we would be gone. Can you please keep an eye on the library, Fluttershy's friends, and the Cutie Mark Crusaders for us? We'd be really grateful, Spike."
"Alright Twilight. I'll keep an eye on things while you and the girls are gone. But you'd better bring back something good, like a diamond, or a sapphire."
"Will do, Spike. Take care." With that, Twilight left the library with her saddlebags packed with what the princess recommended, which was a first but accepted as a welcome change. She met up with her friends at Carousel Boutique. The only one missing was Rainbow Dash.
"Pinkie, have you seen Rainbow Dash?"
"Yep! She helped me bake these delicious cupcakes earlier today. Do you want one, Twilight?" Pinkie produced a box of very odd-looking cupcakes. The bread was all the colors of the rainbow and the frosting was almost the exact same shade of Rainbow's coat, with sprinkles generously coating the top.
"Um, Pinkie? How come there are only, um, five cupcakes? If you don't mind me asking."
"Dashie already had her cupcake. I had her busy taste-testing all morning, and she's a little under the weather, so she might not make it today."
Twilight sensed something was wrong with this situation and gave the cupcake a close inspection, looking for anything out of the ordinary first with her eyes, then her magic. She gasped in fright and dropped the cupcake, letting it splatter on the ground.
"Twilight? What's the matter, dear?"
"Yeah, Twi. What's wrong?"
"Rain... cup... Pinkie... did..." Twilight stood there, her glance going back and forth between the cupcakes and Pinkie.
"What was that, Twi? Ah couldn't quite hear ya. Would ya kindly repeat that?"
Twilight gulped and spoke as slowly as she could. "Rainbow Dash is in the cupcakes. Pinkie Pie did something to her."
All heads turned to Pinkie, whose mane and tail had gone exceedingly flat, and her head was bent down. She was shaking slightly, and a sound was coming from her the others couldn't quite discern. Applejack stepped forward slowly, the short hairs of her mane standing on end. "Pinkie? Are you okay?" She reached a hoof out and was almost within touching distance when the sound grew louder. It was laughter. Not the light, cheerful laughter they knew, but a more sinister one, one that spoke volumes of ill intent and maliciousness.
Pinkie raised her head, a manic grin spread across her face, her eyes wild and shining with an unnerving light. The other four backed away from the party pony and grouped up, never taking their eyes off of her. For some reason, Pinkie had stopped laughing and never moved beyond her slow breathing and the occasional blink. Fluttershy was hiding behind Applejack, with Rarity and Twilight adding extra cover for her. Through some twisted play of fate, all of them blinked at the exact same moment. One moment, Pinkie was sitting near the door to Rarity's shop, the next, she was standing on her hind hooves, with hoofblades on her forelegs and her teeth sharpened to a dangerous point directly in front of the group, that unsettling grin still plastered on her face.
Fluttershy peeked out from behind her friends and fainted at the sight, Rarity following suit. Twilight screamed in fright and fell to the ground, shaking uncontrollably and covering her eyes, and Applejack was immobile, with a hoofblade almost an inch away from the edge of her snout. She carefully maneuvered away from it, never taking her eyes off her now frightening friend, never blinking. Suddenly, a loud, deep crash of thunder came from directly behind her, causing her to bleat like a goat and fall on her back, dazed.
Rainbow Dash fell off the cloud she was riding, too busy laughing to care. Pinkie joined in with her trademark light laugh, removing the fake teeth from her mouth and the blades from her hooves, obviously not in that order. Twilight, hearing her friends laughing, carefully lifted a hoof to see, then shakily stood up, trying not to lose her balance.
"P-p-p-p-Pinkie... W-why would y-you do t-that? D-do you have a-any idea h-how s-s-s-scary that w-was?" Twilight tried her best to calm down, and her body slowly unwound, allowing her to regulate her breathing somewhat and to wake up Rarity and Fluttershy. Applejack slowly stood up as well, working out the kinks in her body from her rough landing.
"Aw come on, Twilight. It was kinda funny, and I just had to scare you! I didn't really get a chance to on Nightmare Night. Besides, I got a letter from the Princess saying that I should scare you really really really badly before we get going, so I roped Dashie into helping me do it just right and it worked! What did you think, everypony? Did you like it, huh huh huhhuhhuhhuhhuh?" Pinkie bounced around her friends, a light, care-free smile on her face and only her eyes betrayed how nervous she was about their critique. Applejack had just finished working out the various knots and what-have-you after that heart-stopper and was helping Fluttershy steady herself when she heard Pinkie's question.
"Did we like it? Did we like it? You two scare us all half ta death and you ask if we liked it? Pinkie, that was the scariest moment of mah life, and you've probably shaved a few years off my life, not ta mention what y'all did to Fluttershy here. Ah mean, look at her! She's on the verge of fainting again, she's so scared." Indeed, Fluttershy was shaking so violently, one could almost feel the tremors through the earth. Twilight noticed that Fluttershy was muttering to herself, something about crying pegasi and never blinking and something called a... "tardis"? She'd figure it out later, right now, her exceptionally timid friend needed her. Then something clicked in Twilight's mind, something Pinkie had said.
"Pinkie, did you say that the Princess sent you a letter? If so, may I see it?" Pinkie nodded enthusiastically and pulled a scroll from her saddlebags, with the royal lunar seal on it, which surprised Twilight, but she paid it no mind and read the scroll out loud.
Dear Pinkamena Diane Pie, or Pinkie Pie,
I am writing to you and only you to inform you that you and your friends are headed to terrible danger, much more terrible than what you have supposedly faced so far. The trials you have gone through here are admirable, but where you are headed lies a test of unbelievable caliber, and is trying on more levels than you and your friends have so far encountered. The reasoning I have for writing to you is that Laughter will be needed in this new challenge, and with it, Hope. In this new challenge, it is customary to laugh in the face of certain death, for those who do have a chance of surviving are those who have stared death in the eye and laughed in his face. It is something that I have seen with my own eyes and experienced on more occasions than I wanted. Here, your true worth is put to the test, and if you can brighten the lives of your friends in the face of this new danger, then I know you can overcome any obstacle in your path, no matter how trying it is to complete. I'm putting my faith in you, Pinkie. Do not let me down.
With greatest respect,
Princess Luna.
Author's notes: Well hi there, everypony! So, yeah, My Little Pony and Killing Floor. Sounds interesting, ja? And, for those of you who don't know, Killing Floor is a game where you and up to five friends can run around a level with different sets of weapons blasting hundreds of thousands of clone rejects to bits. Seriously, over the course of fully completing the game, you will have shot, stabbed, bludgeoned and gibbed hundreds of thousands of clones, not to mention dying repeatedly to lack of communication or just being stupid and straying away from the group. You get to choose which specialization you have, which gives you specific boosts and discounts on weapons and stuff. It's a really fun game, you should try it out, it's on Steam for under ten US dollars. Now, ten points(that don't matter, like counting grains of sand on a beach) goes to whomever can correctly guess what all I referenced, including here in the author's notes. Ten points per correct guess, no limit on how many points a person can have. You also have to supply evidence that supports your claim, or NO POINTS FOR YOU. Good luck, and may the best brony/pegasister win. Oh, and don't blink. Don't ever blink. Blink and you're dead.