A/N: another random oneshot. :v

Summary: "Aominecchi… Momocchi… I…" Kise gulped. "I think I'm in love with Kurokocchi…" Aomine stared at Kise incredulously. "Wait, you actually didn't realize for twelve years?" Momoi just hides her laughter behind a hand, trying not to look like she was having a violent seizure of sorts.

It's not as if it's love at first sight or a friendship-turned-love sort of situation. It's completely stupid and ridiculous, because he doesn't even know of his own feelings for the other. He didn't even know it was love.

Apparently, instead of confusing respect with love like many do, Kise does the opposite. He confuses love for respect, because he can't comprehend that he is in love with a guy. Well, the person he is in love with is attractive, both in personality and looks (though some may snort at this when they realize who Kise is referring to), but he always thought he was as straight as a ruler.

Or maybe he was just a bendy ruler, who knew.

Love is mysterious and strange, some say.

Well, love for Kise is confusing as heck.

.

.

It starts out like this:

Kise goes for a dinner with his old friends. It was one of those monthly things where all of what used to be the Generation of Miracles back in the past, plus their manager, gathered together to just stay in contact and talk.

It, like usual, escalated too quickly to alcohol. Unholy amounts of alcohol and chips.

Always the fucking chips.

"Ya know-" Akashi slurred drunkenly and who knew that the usually calm and composed number one shogi player could be like an adult's first sip of beer. Many speculated that Akashi had a high alcohol tolerance, but he was much more incoherent than a babbling two year old after two shots. "I hate those frickin' jerks at the sho… hic… gi… association meeting… hic... They," he hiccupped, before continuing. "Are wrinkly motherfuckers with metal sticks up their ol' asses. Prissy… hic… lil' shits."

"Well, guess what, Akashi?!" Momoi hiccuped and she had this terrifying look on her face. It was as if she was the first day of her period, but ten times worse. A drunk Momoi is always worse than everything else. If there was a drunk Momoi or a rampant dinosaur terrorizing the streets of Tokyo, you ran from drunk Momoi. "My bosses ain't even know what they doin'! They suck, they're stupid and well… hic… they… hic… suck!"

Thankfully, Midorima was a quiet person when drunk, because well, he slept when he took too many shots. Either that, or he avoided drinking all together because he was a doctor – which meant prioritize health and he hated alcohol, the prick – and someone needed to drive the rest of them home if they were too drunk. This time, he was sitting by the corner, avoiding the chaos that was caused by alcohol and chips.

The tallest out of all them, Murasakibara, silently ate the chips and watched the bickering pair. He was tired and hungry, but at least his alcohol tolerance was better than everyone else's. Which is a very good thing, in case no one noticed, even if he was much easier to irritate than usual, because a really drunk Murasakibara might as well be a walking destruction.

Aomine is nowhere to be seen. Kise thinks he's probably finding the waitress who he remarked as hot earlier to flirt and exchange numbers with.

Kise sips his shot slowly. He was a pilot and that meant a strict no excessive alcohol rule. Even if he was off-duty for two months and therefore was supposed to relax.

The blond turns to his left, looking at his longtime friend and ex-mentor. Kuroko was leaning on his shoulder, on the verge of sleep, but he held onto his cup tightly and tried to blink away his exhaustion. It wasn't working, but Kuroko was still doing it anyways.

"Kurokocchi, if you want, you can sleep on my shoulder." Kise offers as he puts his cup away. He doesn't really like alcohol anyways. "I'll wake you up when we need to leave."

"Mmm…" Kuroko slowly nods, though whether it is in agreement or from sleepiness, is unknown. Kise finds it kind of adorable, like watching a tiny bunny curling up with its nose twitching slightly. "Nnn… Kise-kun…"

"Yes, Kurokocchi?" he asks, slowly pulling Kuroko's fingers off the cup and took away said cup to put onto the table. He took advantage of the situation by stroking Kuroko's head, because Kuroko's hair is soft and nice to touch. Kuroko doesn't fuss and leans into the touch too, because being drunk makes Kuroko less cautious of skin touching or any kind of body contact.

Also, Kuroko being tired was a bonus. He created more of a ruckus when drunk and active.

"Hair… petting… feels good…" mumbled Kuroko. "Continue…"

Kise laughs. "Alright, Kurokocchi." He cards through the blue locks with his fingers, making Kuroko hum in pleasure. Had it been any normal day, Kuroko might as well be hissing at Kise, like a defensive snake you'd find in the wild after disturbing its nest or resting spot.

"Ah, Kise-kun…"

"Yes, Kurokocchi?"

This time, Kuroko turns away from Kise's hand, and is face-to-face with Kise.

"Kurokocchi-"

Then, he kisses Kise.

This is what he was referring to earlier – an awake, drunk Kuroko was much more destructive (?) and harder to handle, because a drunk Kuroko lost all of his prudish self and became more… well, touchy. He invaded people's space, leaning on them, hugging them and sometimes, kissing them.

The worst part? Kuroko was a very good kisser for a guy who didn't like to do anything intimate.

But Kise won't lie – he enjoyed it very much.

Which is why he kissed back.

.

.

When Kise wakes up, he finds that he isn't in his barely-used apartment but in another's. He doesn't recognize the interior, which consisted of cream walls, a single black sofa, strewn clothing all over the floor and the worst kitchen sink he has ever laid his eyes upon – there were plates and utensils stacked inside and oh dear lord, was that mold? – and he blinks, finally awake enough to wonder where he is. He doubts this place belongs to anyone he knows -

"Oh, you're awake."

Someone remarks and Kise finds the voice very familiar and kind of annoying. It turns out to be Aomine, in his pajama set full of hearts that Momoi gave him last year, thus leading to Kise comprehending that he was in Aomine's apartment. Which means, that he has been sleeping in a pigsty, infested with dirty clothes, mold, questionable substances and possibly STDs.

Oh dear god.

"Oi, what the hell are you thinking?" said Aomine as he kicked Kise to the side, to retrieve what seemed to be a black, lacy thong. Kise had been sleeping on a woman's undergarment and a used one at that. He can't help it if he feels like barfing and checking whether the back of his shirt has been in contact with germs.

"That your apartment is the worst place ever." Kise mummers, feeling sick. He doesn't know if it's from the state of a place where someone is supposed to live in, not use as their garbage dump or the fact that he may have a hangover from last night.

(The taste of vodka and salt-)

Last night -

(Licking and biting the other's lips-)

Oh.

(On top of-)

Oh.

(His hand in his hair-)

Oh.

(Hungry blue eyes staring back at him-)

Fuck.

"Shit, Aominecchi!" Kise shoots up from his previous pathetic position, causing Aomine to stumble slightly.

Aomine starts to look like a grumpy grizzly bear and snarls. "What the hell, Kise-"

"I- Kurokocchi- kiss-" Kise chokes up, his words mangled and tangled and stuck in his throat. He feels as if he doesn't have a tongue anymore. Maybe it dissolved from Kuroko's kissing because it was goddamn good- Okay. He'll stop thinking about it. Try to, at least. "Aominecchi, I did something terrible yesterday!"

His longtime friend sneers. "Calm the fuck down, Kise." Aomine kicks Kise again, effectively shutting the pilot up. "Don't know what you're sayin' if you talk like a retard."

"… Aominecchi, that's rude."

Aomine sighs.

"Look Kise, we can talk about this after I take a fucking shower and whatnot. Hygiene and all that jazz. Just calm down, get the fuck out of my apartment and meet me at Maji Burger for lunch, two o'clock. By the way, it's eleven thirty now."

Kise tries to voice his protest, but Aomine still has the grumpy grizzly bear look that scares Kise.

"Shoo, Kise. I'll listen to your teenage love troubles later."

Kise splutters indignantly.

.

.

"So, you're saying that Tetsu kissed you and you don't know what it means?" Aomine summarizes Kise's dilemma aptly, delivering it in a blank voice. Hey, he can't help it if he's bored and tired, the former due to the blond and the latter due to having a late night. "So?"

Kise looks as if he wants to rip his hair out. Aomine, being the jerk he is, kind of wants to see it happen. It would definitely bring a few laughs when Kise goes back to work with a new haircut and at least Kise is the pilot, not the flight attendant. Aomine knows that vanity was important to flight attendants, as it was part of their line of work to be pleasing to their customers, or some shit. He may be a jerk, but he wouldn't go as far as to let his friend ruin himself and get sacked from his job. Geez.

"But Aominecchi!" the pilot cries pathetically. "I- I just feel guilty, okay! I mean, Kurokocchi doesn't even look at me that way and I don't look at him that way either-"

Wait. Hold up.

"Huh? What are you saying, Kise?" Aomine looks at Kise as if he was insane, like a patient that escaped from the loony bin. Then, suddenly the tanned man sighs in frustration and closes his eyes, probably to shield them from stupidity, otherwise he might be blinded. "Aren't you two…?"

"Wait, Ki-chan and Tetsu-kun aren't dating?" Momoi exclaims in shock and Aomine doesn't know what she's doing here. Well, then again, he did text her that he was busy, getting free lunch from Kise and all. He guessed that she came for some company since she did want to get lunch with him, or maybe a free lunch, if she was particularly evil today. Women were troublesome like that. "I gave up on Tetsu-kun because I thought the two of you are madly in love with each other."

The person in question was perplexed as hell.

"What are Aominecchi and Momocchi talking about?" asked Kise, who definitely had confusion etched all over his handsome face. He was glad to have two of his friends with him to discuss it – although Momoi was a surprise, but not unwelcomed – but now they were just screwing around with him. "Kurokocchi and I aren't romantically involved."

"Don't fuck with me, Kise, I don't care if the two of you are gay-" when faced with Kise's expression of pure, honest confusion, Aomine stops talking midway. Fucking hell. "No way, you and Tetsu aren't fucking? What the fuck."

Apparently, cursing was going to be very common today.

"Aomine-kun!" Momoi admonishes her childhood friend like a mother would to their unruly son. She looks scandalized by his way of phrasing things, especially when it involved two people that she cared about very much. "Don't say it that way! Say 'dating', Ahomine!"

"You know it's true, Satsuki." said idiot sighs again, grabbing his soda and sipping the straw. "But Kise, there's nothing wrong if you two kiss, right? It'll move your relationship further, yadda yadda, stuff like that."

"Move our relationship further? What?" Aomine has successfully caused Kise to become dumbfounded. In any case, it wasn't hard, considering that Kise was kind of an idiot as well. "I don't get it. Our relationship is fine the way it is."

Now Momoi just looks at ex-model with pitiful eyes, the kind of look that is given to abandoned puppies and lost kittens. This time, she's the one who sighs, closes her eyes to remember something and starts talking.

"Oh, Ki-chan, remember that time when Tetsu-kun smiled when we were at the riverbank?" said the pink haired woman. Kise had no idea what his female friend was trying to do. "Or when he looked so happy after succeeding in getting a prize from the shooting game? The time when he cried during the end of Winter Cup in our first year of high school? Or the time when Tetsu-kun wore the cat ears for his school festival?"

"Yeah…?" he answered hesitantly.

"Well, what do you think?" Momoi queried curiously, but her eyes had the same sort of evil glint when she collected information on opposing teams back when she was the team manager.

"Uh… uhm… Kurokocchi was cute?" he shrugged, giving a hesitant smile. Momoi gestured for him to continue, which he did. "He was cute and huggable… and when he smiled or looked happy, I couldn't breathe and take my eyes off him…"

Kise stops himself there, feeling shocked and confused because what the hell was he rambling on about? His friend wasn't a cute puppy!

"Now do you understand, Ki-chan?" Momoi looked expectant. Somehow, Kise didn't want to let her down, but what was he going to let her down on? Was it because she read his mind? "What you just said and what you feel about Tetsu-kun."

Aomine rolled his eyes. "Come on, I'm sure you're not that dense-"

Kise was like a deer caught in headlights when the realization hit him.

"Aominecchi… Momocchi… I…" Kise gulped. "I think I'm in love with Kurokocchi…"

Aomine stared at Kise incredulously.

"Wait, you actually didn't realize for twelve years?"

Momoi just hides her laughter behind a hand, trying not to look like she was having a violent seizure of sorts.

"Screw paying lunch for today, you're paying for the rest of the month, you idiot."

Aomine and Momoi knew that Kise was absolutely smitten, just from the way he talked about Kuroko.

[EXTRA – Phone call 1]

Kise was definitely not in love with his friend. His friend wasn't gay, he wasn't gay and they weren't into each other. Sure, Kise was sort of touchy feely with Kuroko, but that was just friendliness on his part. He wasn't doing it because he had some school girl crush on Kuroko. Who said hugs had to be intimate anyways? They could totally be platonic and be between friends.

Surely, he wasn't the only one who thought that he himself didn't have any feelings for Kuroko beyond friendship, right?

"Hello, Kasamatsu-senpai?" he had dialed his ex-upperclassman/ex-captain and even though they didn't see each other on a daily basis like they did back in high school, they still kept in contact. Well, Kasamatsu consented to it as long as Kise didn't annoy him with frequent text messages about the stupidest of things.

"Huh, Kise? Aren't you busy with your job?" replied the voice over the phone. He sounded disgruntled. "Never mind that; what did you call me for? This better be important."

"I'm on a short vacation now." he said. Then he stuttered. "Uh… can I ask you something?"

"You're already asking one, you nitwit." he hears the other's irritation very clearly. Well, it's not like Kasamatsu was ever going to change when it came to dealing with Kise. "What is it?"

"Uhm, you remember Kurokocchi, right?" hearing the other's hum of agreement, Kise carries on. "Do you think Kurokocchi and I are dating?"

When the laughter reached Kise's left ear, he felt pleased. See, even his ex-captain knew that they weren't dating and wasn't it just as clear as a sunny day-

"No way, Kise." Kasamatsu couldn't stop laughing, but he tries his best to stifle it. In actuality, Kise liked laughter, so long as it wasn't out of rudeness or awkwardness. But his ex-captain was starting to sound extremely obnoxious with the way he was laughing and then trying to hide his laughter.

"I mean, you don't even have the guts to confess to the person you like."

Okay.

What.

"Oi, Kise? Don't hang up on me, that's rude." said Kasamatsu when Kise became completely silent. "Anyways, don't tell me you're trying to ask me for confession advice-"

"Argh, I can't believe it!" the blond exclaims in disbelief. "Not you too, Kasamatsu-senpai!"

"What the hell, Kise? What do you mean?"

"That I like Kurokocchi! Even you believe it and-"

Kasamatsu snorts in amusement. "You're in denial? That's rich."

This was just surreal. There was no way. No fucking way at all.

"After so long of liking Kuroko, you suddenly deny that like some snot-nosed brat who's afraid of cooties – "

Oh, for fuck's sake.

"I didn't even know I liked Kurokocchi until today!" The blond felt mortified of having to say it out loud. Why didn't anyone understand?

"What? Oh god, you're an idiot, Kise. I thought you were smarter than that. Guess not, huh?"

"You'll have to sort this out yourself –"

For the first time, Kise hung up on Kasamatsu because right until the end of the call, Kasamatsu kept laughing.

[Extra – Phone call 2]

"-and so Ki-chan finally realizes that he's in love with Tetsu-kun!" Momoi exclaims loudly over the phone. "But I'm so frustrated that Ki-chan is so dense!"

"When it comes to the matters of the heart, especially his own, Ryouta can be blind." The voice on the other side sighs. It was Akashi. "Well, I'm glad, even if it's a little late."

"Oh?" says Momoi curiously. "Why?"

"If Ryouta was still living in ignorance, I would've drugged the both of them and leave them in a hotel." Akashi replies. "I was worried that he was never going to realize his own feelings."

"E-eh?" there was nothing else Momoi could respond with. She was thankful it didn't come down to that.

"You see, Tetsuya complains a lot when we go out drinking…"