ROSE: The Owner's Guide and Maintenance Manual

by AcidicMilk

Congratulations! You are now the proud owner of a ROSE AARDIAL unit! With this handy guide, you can learn the basics of raising and caring for your very own gunslinger!

ROSE AARDIAL: The Owner's Guide and Maintenance Manual

Disclaimer: This authoress does not own Trigun or any of the respective characters that aren't of her own creation. The Owner's Guide and Maintenance Manual series format belongs to Theresa Green.

A/N: I'm a horrible person, I know I am. I haven't at all kept to my updating promise, but I'm in such a writing slump! And then I go and write this... I've just read too many of these, and I wanted to so bad! Even though it's for an original, and a girl... Usually they're for actual cannon, male characters.... Ohhh... -stresses-

CONGRATULATIONS!

You are now the proud owner of a ROSE AARDIAL unit! To unlock the full potential of your very own Gun-woman, please read the following manual with care.

Technical Specifications

Name: Rose Aardial (also known as Rose the Rampage, or other annoying names by the GENESIS AARDIAL unit.)

Age: 24

Place of Manufacture: Xain&Miranda Corp., or Aardial Parental Manufacturers.

Height: 180.34 cm (5' 11'')

Weight: 14- I mean, what?

Your ROSE comes with the following accessories:

One Black Tank-Top

One Buttoning Chest-Vest

One Pair Black Leather Gloves

One Pair Knee-Length Shorts

One Pair Red/Black Cattle Rancher Boots

One Pair Socks

Long-barrel Revolver (x2)

Gun Holster (x2)

Red Hair-Ribbon (x3)

ROSE AARDIAL units do not enjoy dressing in a 'girly' manner. Therefore, if you wish to by dresses for the unit, etc., do not be surprised if you find it burned in a nearby grill.

Removing your ROSE unit from her box

The ROSE AARDIAL is quite intelligent, so to prevent them from escaping out of their boxes before they reach their destinations, all units are packaged with a disassembled, unmodified gun to keep them preoccupied until the box is opened. The problem starts, however, when you want her to come out: if your new ROSE unit has not explored or modified the gun to her satisfaction, she will most likely refuse to come out until she has done so.

If you have a lack of patience, mention the following loudly: "Oh, hey, Genesis! Look at this Playboy I found!" She should immediately burst out of the box, burn the dirty magazine, and promptly beat you to a fairly bloody pulp for 'corrupting her younger brother'.

If this does not work, present your ROSE AARDIAL unit with an even bigger, more interesting gun to tinker with.

Please do not perform the former, for the sake of your health, unless you own, or have a neighbor nearby who owns the VASH THE STAMPEDE unit to calm and/or restrain your ROSE AARDIAL so as not to have fatal injuries.

If neither of these processes work, try to set your ROSE to 'Worry Wart' (see Programming) and claim that a nearby VASH THE STAMPEDE unit has been shot. Again.

If none of these processes work even in the slightest, you have no hope in removing your ROSE unit from her box. Please send the unit back for a refund or a new unit.

Programming

Your ROSE AARDIAL will have been programmed with a number of useful functions and modes, each designed to maximize your own benefit and pleasure:

Body Guard: Your ROSE unit performs as a very useful body guard, being a fairly experience gunslinger. Whether she generally enjoys your company or is simply in it for the money, your ROSE AARDIAL will protect you at any cost and instantly shoot any threat- more than likely in the foot.

Taste Tester: Being a general lover of liquor or alcohol of any kind, you ROSE will gladly taste any bottle for you drinking pleasure. Don't expect there to be any left once the unit is finished, however.

Maid: As an overall busy-body, your unit will more than likely keep you home clean, sink empty with dishes washed, and beds made.

Gunsmith: Your ROSE AARDIAL unit comes equipped with a vast knowledge of guns, and will very happily help you modify any gun in your armory, or measure the value of it if you wish to sell it in the market of your choosing.

Your ROSE AARDIAL will come in the following modes:

Protective {default)

Busy Body (default)

Bored

Lazy

Stubborn

Tearful

Sarcastic (default)

Worry Wart

Frickin' Pissed (locked)

Depressed (locked)

Out of Character (locked)

Protective is easily identifiable by your ROSE AARDIAL repeatedly checking on you, making sure you are safe, alright, etc. Note: Protective is often confused with the Worry Wart mode. However, the two are completely different in intensity and level of worry. Also, do not confuse the Lazy and Bored modes, as the two are rather similar. However, in Bored mode, your unit will continue to chores, albeit very pointless ones that are in no use to your own well being. During the Lazy mode, your unit will cease all maid-like activities and proceed to sleep for the greater part of the day.

To unlock Out of Character mode, simply take away all of her guns and tinkering tools and make your ROSE cut cold turkey- strictly no tinkering of any kind for an entire week!

Relations with Other Units

GENESIS AARDIAL: Younger brother to the ROSE AARDIAL, GENESIS is often the head of many of your ROSE's agitations, whether it is from his well-being or he is angering her.

KAINE AARDIAL: Older brother to the ROSE unit. For all intensive purposes, and for the welfare of both units, please keep any nearby KAIN AARDIAL units away from your ROSE. The two units, whenever within a very close vicinity of each other, there will be violence of some sort or matter.

XIAN and MIRANDA AARDIAL: Parental units of your ROSE. Do not allow your unit to come in contact with one of these rare units, for the mental state of your ROSE AARDIAL may become unstable. This may cause your unit to be permanently damaged, and the corporation shall not pay for any fees, because we warned you.

VASH THE STAMPEDE: Your ROSE AARDIAL unit is very close to the VASH THE STAMPEDE unit. VASH has had a reciprocal relationship with your unit, keeping both of the unit's mental stability intact. ROSE AARDIAL also is very protective of the VASH unit.

NICHOLOUS D, WOLFWOOD: WOLFWOOD, a wandering priest with a very heavy cross (full of mercy), serves mainly as an annoyance to your ROSE AARDIAL unit. Although they are friends, the WOLFWOOD unit tends to aggravate the ROSE unit, oftentimes ending with various objects turning into dangerous projectiles.

LIVIO THE DOUBLE FANG: This unit, when not serving under the MILLIONS KNIVES and LEGATO BLUESUMMERS units, after disbanding from the GUNG HO GUNS value pack, serves as a wonderful training partner to your ROSE AARDIAL unit.

MILLIONS KNIVES: Crazed twin brother to the VASH THE STAMPEDE unit, this unit highly despises any units in accompaniment with the VASH unit. This includes your ROSE unit, which entails that you keep the two units away from each other. Your ROSE unit also hates the KNIVES unit for causing the VASH THE STAMPEDE unit various hardships, as well as for his partnership with the KAINE AARDIAL unit.

MILLY THOMPSON: The pudding loving insurance girl from the BERNADELLI INSURANCE COMBO PACK, the MILLY THOMPSON unit is fairly easy going and gullible, but also a very loveable unit. Carrying a rather large gun (not even we, the manufacturers, know where she keeps it hidden), the MILLY THOMPSON unit is a close friend to your ROSE unit, and is a good unit to speak to if there are current complications in one's life, as she tends to state things bluntly. However, it is a suggestion that you keep your ROSE AARDIAL unit away from MILLY's large gun- as the unit may never get it back.

MERYL STRYFE: This unit is the second addition to the BERNADELLI INSURANCE COMBO PACK, and is rather short on terms to most other units in the TRIGUN set. You're ROSE does not particularly like the MERYL unit, however they get along on a flat basis and will work together if necessary.

Cleaning

Your ROSE AARDIAL unit spends most of her time tinkering with guns or cleaning, so she tends to get dirty fairly quickly. You're ROSE will not hesitate to shower or bathe, however may need reminding if she busies herself too much. However, male (or female) owners may feel that she needs assistance. Oil and grease from tinkering tends to be difficult to get off, and she might need help washing her back...

WARNING: The manufacturers will not be held responsible for any marital/relationship disputes caused by cleaning ROSE AARDIAL.

Feeding

To keep your ROSE AARDIAL in tip-top condition, give her three balanced meals per day, with plenty of 'brain' foods to preserve intelligence.

Rest

ROSE AARDIAL units require a minimum of eight hours of sleep per day to function correctly, but will often insist that they need less, or will lie about the amount of sleep they have had if they have a certain gun that they are working on. In these situations, it is important that you put your foot down and insist that she go to sleep. If this is becoming a problem, please associate with a nearby VASH unit to help persuade your unit to sleep. However, when your ROSE is set to the 'Lazy' setting, 90% of its time will be spent sleeping.

Frequently Asked Questions

Q: My ROSE unit is constantly sitting at the window and staring out at the street, but she isn't in the 'Lazy' setting! I even checked it's programming myself!

A: This is a side effect of the 'Worry Wart' setting. You're ROSE is simply worried about other units from the TRIGUN set. It is recommended that you allow your unit to associate with any nearby TRIGUN units to repair this malfunction of your ROSE.

Q: My ROSE has been set into the 'Lazy' setting, and won't come out of it! No matter what I do, it won't stop sleeping all day and doing nothing! I even manually set it to 'Busy Body' mode, and it won't do anything! The dishes are starting to pile up and I'm not getting any of my work done because she isn't doing the chores I gave her! Is there any way I can get another ROSE to help the first one?

A: Due to the amount of the ROSE AARDIAL units that have been created, only one ROSE unit is allowed per household. But to easily solve the problem, simply purchase or borrow a VASH THE STAMPEDE unit and lock the two units in a room for approximately twenty four hours. By the time you let them out, it will not be long until you have adorable chubby-cheeked little blonds running around and doing chores. However, this solution is fairly loud, and you should not be expecting to get any sleep.

Note: The manufacturers are not responsible for any sleep deprivation or accidents caused by such from this solution.

Q; My ROSE unit has been set to the 'Frickin' Pissed' mode, and won't come out of it. I'm currently very afraid for my physical state. What should I do?

A: If you cannot calm your ROSE unit, then please acquire or borrow a VASH or GENESIS unit to help calm it. If this does not work, repeat the process stated in the above question. However, if you do not wish to have any chubby cheeked blonds running around, please repeat the first process.

Q: My ROSE will not come out of the 'Bored' setting. What should I do?

A: Simply supply your ROSE with a new gun to tinker with, and allow her to finish whatever modifications she wants to do to it. Also allow her to take it apart and put it back together as many times as she wishes. This should temporarily fix the lock of the 'Bored' setting. If this occurs again, repeat the process.

Troubleshooting

Problem: I want cute, chubby-cheeked blonds from my ROSE unit, so I locked the VASH and ROSE units in a room for twenty four hours, but there still haven't been any results.

Solution: This is actually a fairly common problem, but is relatively easy to solve. Allow your ROSE to talk to a MILLY unit to calm down about it's problems, and soon things should be back to normal.

Problem: My ROSE is sulking around and won't do anything.

Solution: You're ROSE is simply worried about either the VASH unit or the GENESIS unit. Simply tell your ROSE unit that both units are alright. If necessary, borrow one or both of these units and associate your ROSE with them.

Problem: I told my ROSE that the new gun she modified was a piece of crap and didn't come to even your low standards.

Solution: Run. Run to the end of the universe, if possible, as fast as you can. After you allow your unit to cool off from its 'Frickin' Pissed' mode (amounts of time differ for every unit), return and hope that she will let you off with only a few injuries.

Problem: I submitted the GENESIS unit to a dirty magazine in front of the ROSE unit accidentally.

Solution: Read the solution for problem three, and copy it.

Final Note

With much love and care, your Gun-woman will grow up to be a gifted young lady. Luckily for you, the ROSE AARDIAL is a Certified Bishojo© and will remain long after you are gone, providing descendants with loving companionship. To prevent custody battles, ensure that your ROSE AARDIAL Is entrusted into the gaurdianship of a responsible family member upon your death.