AN: So this is my absolute first story so be gentle. English is not my first language but I do hope my English is OK. Feel free to point out all the errors I've made so I can learn from it.

Disclaimer: So, I don't own anything GA-related. I wish I owned it because then I would have Arizona and Callie spend all their off time in bed, at least for a while. But alas, I own nothing except my Soda Streamer which I absolutely cannot live without. Also, if this story is somewhat OK I will continue and then the plot would actually be mine. Hurray!

Now on to the story...

"May I speak?"

Dr Torres was staring out of the window in Dr Ways office. Her face always betrayed her feelings so she had taken to stare out of the window every time they met. It wasn't that she cared what they thought, she just felt she could center herself without having to face them.

"Of course. That's what we're here for." Dr Ways had tried to get Callie to speak about her feelings on every appointment but she had just closed off. Not saying a word she had just stood there, staring.

Callie slowly turned around.

"I love you." It came as a shock to everyone in the room.

"When I look at you I see the most amazing woman I've ever laid my eyes on. Your beauty is beyond everything that I know. I have a blind love for you. No matter what has happened to us it always comes back to the fact that I'm so desperately in love with you."

"Callie, I…"

"My love for you is completely blind because I honestly thought that you loved me just as much as I love you. Had I not had this blind spot I would've seen it earlier." Callie looked intently at Arizona. Soft tears were trickling down her cheeks.

"I stood by you through every hurtful word, every hateful word you said to me. Even when you downright told me that you hated me, I stood by you because I simply couldn't understand the fact that you didn't love me.

"Please Callie. I do…" Arizona tried but Callie just continued.

"I watch you. At work. Sometimes I sneaked, still do, up just to catch an unguarded glimpse of you. To see the light in your eyes. That for a moment you forget about the world. At home with me I never saw that light. No other woman holds a candle to you. You are the love of my life." She didn't know if she were making any sense she just had to get it off her chest.

"Had I just not had this incredibly love for you I would've seen it sooner. I will never regret saving you. Even if I had known you would stop loving me I still would've saved you. Arizona, my love for you is, and always has been, unconditional. I thought I would be enough. I never expected you to cheat on me. Everything else but never that. Not after every hurdle we've been through."

Callie turned towards the window again. She didn't really feel like she had expressed all she wanted but it was a start. A start of what she wasn't sure of. She didn't think she had any fight left in her. Was there really anything left to fight for?

"Do you still love me? Are we here fighting for us? Do you see a future with me or not? Are you going to work on your problems, your issues? Are we going to work on our issues? Are you still in love with me? Arizona, tell me, why are we here? Seeing Dr Ways?"

Arizona stared at Callie. During all of the previous appointments she had been the only one to speak. Not once had Callie said anything and now she just laid it on. She could see this taking its toll on the Latina. She had obviously lost weight and she wasn't her happy self anymore. That was her fault. She had been the one to hurt Callie. She had cheated. But it had felt so invigorating. So much alive. Now the walls were closing in on her.

"Callie." She blinked.

"Please turn around." She didn't know what possessed her to say that but she wanted Callie to really hear her. When Callie had turned again she started.

"Callie, I know you won't believe me but please, please try to understand. I do love you. So, so much. I know I've been a monster this year. And I have tried to work past it. You've been here for all of the sessions so you've heard it all. But…" Arizona took a deep breath.

"But, if it hadn't been for Lauren I'd never be where I am today. Yes, I cheated and I hate it but that's what made me, you and everyone else realize the fact that I am not over losing my leg. I haven't grieved for losing it or for losing Lexie and Mark." She paused. Callie was actually listening.

"We haven't grieved! I have issues. You have issues and we together have issues and without Laura we would still not see or acknowledge our issues. But, Calliope, I do love you. I am in love with you I just haven't been able to see past my anger. Please. I have… "She hadn't really said it before because she wasn't weak. She was a good man in a storm.

"I have PTSD. It's no excuse but…"

Callie stared at Arizona and actually laughed. "You think that because you now figured out you're not fine makes it OK to sleep with someone else?" She couldn't really contain her anger. She had been holding it in for too long. "That's bullshit! You knew what you were doing. Or did you just forget you had a wife and a daughter?"

"Dr Torres. Please, Arizona is just honest. Calm down." Dr Ways decided that she had to try and calm the Latina down. She had been extremely calm during all the previous sessions but right now Callie was boiling with anger.

"No, Dr Ways. I have sat her listening to Arizona and if there's any chance in hell that we 're going to fight for an us I need to yell and she needs to hear me. Everything's not always about her."

As the emotions were running high Arizona wished she wasn't there. She knew she was at fault here but she couldn't take all the blame and she was trying. She really was. As a pager beeped she let out a deep breath. It was such a relief to cut the session short.

"Shit, it's the ER. Let's go!"

"Dr Torres, it's Addison again." Callie was tired and this surgery was not going well. A kid had come in to the ER after being in a car accident. She really didn't have much to work with. Amputation really was the kid's best choice but that was not something she considered right now. And, she could absolutely not understand why Lauren was in her OR. She thought she had made herself clear with the Chief. Under no circumstances was Lauren to ever set foot in her OR.

Arizona was standing in the viewing room watching her rock star work. She was going to do everything she could to save her marriage.

"Fine. Put her on speaker. "Callie gave a short nod to the nurse and then she heard Addison's voice.

"Callie. I've been trying to reach to you for over an hour. Where are you?"

"In the OR. Where else? So what's so important that you couldn't wait? We do talk every night you know." Callie laughed. Addison had been a blessing in all of this. Her shoulder to cry on.

"Yeah but I couldn't wait." Addison was actually laughing. I checked with the Avery's. They cannot buy you out but the other doctors and the it" she said the last word with disgust, "can. They just need to find the money. If they don't have it you are free to sell to whomever. Since you put in the same amount as the rest you have an equal share as the others. I also …" Addison began.

Arizona gasped. She understood that Addison hated her but why would Callie want to sell? The entire OR was focused on the call from Addison. Everybody was curious. It was deathly silent and they all seemed to work in perfect sync. Why on earth didn't anybody remind Callie she that she was in the OR.

"Addie. Don't say it about her." Callie had completely forgotten about the surgery and the rest of the OR. She was working with her part, the legs, the rest didn't really matter right now to her.

"I know you mean well but I love her. Still. And you cannot just say that about her."

Addison heard the desperation in Callie's voice but she just couldn't stay silent.

"Callie. SHE cheated on you. I'm your best friend. I had the talk with her. Which I'm sure Mark had as well. She promised Cal. She promised that she would never hurt you, not intentionally. But she did, on purpose. She knows your history and I'm sorry but she just doesn't deserve you. You didn't even grieve Mark. He was your best friend and you couldn't even cry for him. She is nothing but a waste of space."

"Addie please don't say that." Callie wasn't crying but her voice was broken.

Arizona however was crying. She didn't realize how hurtful she had been. She was just now starting to remember the past year. Everything was still basically a blur. How much had she actually hurt her wife? She zoned out the rest of the phone conversation. It wasn't till she heard a familiar name that she snapped back into focus.

"Anyway, I talked to my chief. I know you didn't mention this but I think it'd be good for you. If you want, the head of Ortho is yours at the end of next month. Just say the word and I will arrange for you and Sofia to come here.

AN: So it this something I should continue or am I a really bad writer?