The sound of stomping hooves could be heard as Ser Jaime Lannister rode his tired horse to near exhaustion. He had killed the Mad King, though like a coward he had run away before anyone could punish him for his vile act, or even worse, reward him. He had sworn an oath, and he was gonna lie to his sworn brother's that he had actually kept it.
He would tell them of how he had tried to protect the infant children of Prince Rhaegar. Of how he had failed only when Ser Gregor and Ser Amory Lorch surrounded him and knocked him out, but not before being able to severely wound Lorch. Of how he had awakened to find the royal family dead. Of how he ran off to join the rest of his brothers, not wanting to serve the Usurper like a puppet.
The true events however, were less honorable, less gallant. He had killed King Aerys, the mad King, driving a sword through his heart and leaving him sputtering blood at the steps of the Iron Throne. Before that, he had killed the Hand of the King, driving a sword through his stomach and leaving him to suffer in pain. Jaime could still remember staring at the Mad King as his eyes left him, before suddenly remembering the young Prince and Princess.
He ran into Maegor's Holdfast soon after in a desperate attempt to save Aegon and Rhaenys, only to find a crazed Ser Amory Lorch standing over Rhaenys. In a fit of anger, he killed the vicious knight, and ran to the next room, only to find the Mountain bashing Elia Martell's face next to her babies.
He had nearly vomited at the sight, but instead he ran away and stole a horse from the stables. Racing through the city to reach his father, he decided midway to instead turn around and seek his remaining brother's, remembering that Viserys Targaryen was still safe in Dragonstone.
He had gone to Storm's End, seeking his brothers among the Tyrell's, but they were nowhere to be found. He briefly met with Lord Mace Tyrell, who still wanted to declare for Viserys, before hearing news of Lord Stark's arrival. He found out from a guard that Lord Eddard Stark's party had arrived to stop the siege, and he rode ahead before the lord could catch him. He journeyed to Starfall where he had asked Lady Ashara of the whereabouts of her brother. Jaime was directed to the Tower of Joy, which lay North of Starfall. He was also told that this was where Lady Lyanna lay, the woman who started the war.
As he rode hard through the winding path leading to the Tower of Joy, he speculated on what may have happened if he wasn't such a fool. On what would have happened if he hadn't followed Cersei. On what would have happened if he didn't follow her every whim and command.
He would probably be married to Lysa Tully, a terrible fate but it would be better than having the deaths of your King and nearly his entire family on your conscience. It was better than having to bear with the dishonor of having broken your vows.
It was funny, he realized, on how it was only after everything had gone to hell that he had finally decided to start making his own decisions. It was only after he had lost his honor did he stop following his father. It was only after he had broken his vows, did he stop following Cersei.
He remembered Tyrion's mischievous smile, and he knew that he would be a better lord than he could ever hope to be. Tyrion was always the one who was independent. He was always the one who was brave, never Jaime. His father was a fool to not see it. At least he could be happy knowing that Casterly Rock was in good hands, or would be, at least.
Tywin Lannister. His father. Never before has he been more disgusted with a man than he is with his own father. He remembered looking up to the legendary lord, the one who had wiped out the Reyne's of Castamere. Now, he could only hold the man that had ordered the sack—no the massacre of King's Landing, in contempt.
He knew that some part of all this was cause by him, but he was too much of a coward to admit it. He would flee from the blame that he knew lay with him, for he was honourless. Jaime felt better blaming his father and his sister for his failures.
His thoughts were interrupted, as he finally came upon the Tower of Joy. With the familiar sight of the white armored Kingsguard greeted him as he stopped his horse. Guilt gnawed at him as he recalled how true these knights were compared to him.
"Brothers, the King and most of the royal is dead." Jaime greeted bitterly, his voice ringing loudly under the Dornish sun.
"We received news of it, Jaime." Ser Arthur spoke with sadness. Jaime could still recall the bond that Arthur shared with his fellow Dornish, Elia Martell. "But where were you when this happened? Why didn't you attempt to rescue them?"
"I tried to save them, the King was intent on burning King's Landing to the ground, and so I instead ran to the Prince and Princess. They were busy packing their things when Ser Gregor Clegane and Ser Amory Lorch, individuals who do not deserve the title of knight, bashed through the door."
"I attempted to defend the Prince and Princess, but I failed. I only survived due to my status as my father's son, and I escaped as soon as I could to join you."
"And are you, your father's son?" The commanding voice of Ser Gerold Hightower rang.
"For all we know you could be feeding us lies, and planning to stab us in the back for your gold shitting father." Ser Oswell gave a pointed glare. "After all, Lions aren't known for keeping their oaths."
"I am not my father. I live to serve, but it seems I have only one person to be of service to." Ser Jaime answered. "I have information from the Tyrells, right before they surrendered, that Stannis Baratheon surrounds Dragonstone, I came here to ask you to help me rally Dorne to Viserys Targaryen's cause."
"And if we do rally Dorne's banners, for Viserys how can we be certain that Tywin Lannister doesn't lay in wait for us by the Prince's Pass? Ready to slaughter us the moment we march into the Reach?" Oswell said bitterly, his face filled with disgust.
"Control your emotions, Oswell." Gerold then turned to Ser Arthur. "Arthur, do you think we can trust him?"
Jaime turned to the man he looked up to, the man he had idolized, the Sword of Morning, but instead of the smiling man that knighted him after that battle in the Kingswood all those years ago, all he could see was the face of a disappointed mentor.
It was as plain as the sun shining on Dorne, that Ser Arthur could tell that Jaime was lying. Lying about how he had tried to protect the children, lying about how he was a coward who had broken his oath and instead of facing everyone else, ran away and instead tried to hide behind a lie. Ser Arthur could always tell when a man lied, Jaime supposed that it was because of how honorable he was, he seemed to be impregnable from it.
"We can trust him." Ser Arthur gave a small smile. "Our King isn't in Dragonstone, Ser Jaime. He is up the stairs behind us."
Jaime opens his mouth, flabbergasted at what had just occurred. His other Kingsguard brother's take it as him being shocked that Rhaegar had fathered a son with Lyanna Stark, but he was surprised at what he was given, discretely nodding to Ser Arthur in thanks.
"I.. I will protect him with my life." Ser Jaime declared, gratefully thanking whatever god was listening for helping him get his second chance at honor.
His three brother's seemed to approve of his actions, or in the case of Oswell, slightly approved. Ser Gerold turned around and opened the thick oak door, and turned to loon at Jaime.
"Ser Jaime, let me introduce you to our King." Ser Gerold led him up the stairs, with a still suspicious Ser Oswell walking behind him. At the top of the stairs lay a door, and The White Bull pushed it open gently. Inside Jaime could see a cacophony of roses, along with traces of Prince Rhaegar.
He could see the Prince's harp in the corner, as well as his many books. The room was beautiful, barring the metallic smell that had entered his nose as he entered. In the center, Lyanna lay breathing heavily, clutched at her breast was her healthy baby boy, though the same could not be said for her. She was as pale as the snowy ground she had lived on, and her eyes were bloodshot, similar to the Targaryen's red.
She didn't even take note of him, as she was too busy whispering to his King for her to take notice of him. The Sword of Morning looked on in sadness, as did his other brothers, and Jaime realized that she was probably the only company they had besides each other here, and that they probably were fairly close.
Ser Jaime turned to look at the window as the sound of multiple riders came. He saw one rider bearing the banner of house Stark, and he gripped his sword to prepare for a fight.
His grip slackened when Ser Arthur grabbed his hand and whispered into his ear. "Take the babe and go through the cellar at the ground floor. There is a tunnel there that will lead you to the road to Starfall. Wait there for us. If we do not arrive by tomorrow night, take a ship from Starfall and make for the free cities."
Arthur made a move to turn around but abruptly stopped, before pulling Ser Jaime close again.
"There is a small town nearby, go there and buy a horse." Ser Arthur gave him a purse filled with gold. "Use that horse to get to Starfall."
Arthur nodded to the others before walking over to Lyanna. He began whispering in her ears and it seemed the delirious woman had understood at least some parts of what he said for she was able to nod weakly. Arthur then grabbed his milky colored blade Dawn, and marched out with his sworn brothers.
Lyanna turned to Jaime and gave him a small smile, before handing her baby to him. He held the babe gently to his chest and rocked it a bit, and he found strong grey eyes staring back at him, with the beginnings of what seemed to be Rhaegar's face.
Jaime used to laugh at people that could "tell" who the newborn babe looked like more among his or her parents. However at present he was simply at awe at how much the babe looked like Rhaegar, despite his Stark coloring.
"His name is Jon. Keep him safe." Lyanna said weakly, before touching her son for what would probably be the last time. She suddenly gained strength and pulled Jaime close to her "Please don't force him to become a King. Please. Let him live like a normal child."
"I'm afraid he isn't a normal child, my lady." Ser Jaime said weakly, before standing up. "But I will guard him with my life, you can rest well Lyanna Stark, for your son will be great."
A few tears left his eyes as he hurried down the stairs, ignoring the weak wails of his King's mother. He tried to rationalize what he had just did. He had to fulfil his duty, he had to raise his King. He had to, so that he could live in peace.
He opened the heavy cellar door, grabbing a torch left on the floor. The beginnings of a fight could be heard as he worked his way down the wooden. He held the torch in his hands and lit it as he began moving through the tunnel, praying to the gods that had forsaken him during the sack, to save his brothers, and to forgive him for failing to leave Lyanna in peace.
A/N: So after a long time of lurking, I finally decided to write my own fic. I am still not sure as to what pairings will appear in this story, but I do know that there will be no slash aside from canon slash (Loras/Renly). Next chapter will feature Ser Jaime again as he reaches Starfall and how his contemplations about his life. It will have some Jaime Jon bonding and I look forward to updating this fic. For all of the Jaime is a coward parts, in this fic the stated qualities of different characters will be according to the POV, so by how own standards, Jaime see's himself as a coward