The sun seemed almost inviting but she knew that the days were still harsh and heavy with winter; telling her that it was not a good idea to leave the warm but hallow castle. Normally, people felt like home was a filling place, but to Ilya she felt more alone in the castle than in the woods. She did not like the cold marble floor or the white faceless walls that seemed to stare into her heart in an uninviting manner.
Ilya found the tall ceilings and empty halls intimidating, so much that it frightened her to a certain point. Her lips were pursed in a straight line as she ran up and down the halls, playing hide and seek with herself as she waited patiently for her Father's return, when she could go and search for nut buds.
She had started to play with her stuffed animals and she arranged them in a circle so that she could have a small tea party and not feel all alone for once. There was something that was twisting in her chest and causing her to shake a little. And then, after an entire year of not seeing her parents, she finally shed her first tear.
It all happened when she had awoken in the middle of the night to a nightmare about her father choosing to take care of another child rather than her. She was sweating and panting and when it finally settled in that her father was not returning, she screamed and threw off her covers, flying off the bed and knocking over her nightstand. Her room was filled with her sorrowful screams as she threw her first and only fit.
Ilya had pulled the curtains off from the rods, throwing her stuffed animals everywhere-even tearing some apart. Breaking anything sharp and fragile that she had, her entire room was a complete mess when she was done. She had her comforter wrapped around herself tightly and she tried to hide and somehow find comfort within it. She was huddled into a small ball by the corner of her room as she looked over the mess with teary eyes.
Her feet were bloodied because she had stepped on some glass shards and she was in slight pain, but the pain in her heart was much more greater that it made her begin to cry. She wailed out and the tears began to cascade down her cheeks, her wails of pain and sorrow hurt her because there had been so much sadness that she had bottle up for such a long time.
Ilya hugged her knees and felt the emptiness within her. She was just like the castle; alone, dark, cold to the touch and confusing. For an entire year, she had tried to push away the emptiness she felt deep inside of herself, but throughout all the time, she could not do so.
It was the early morning when she awoke, she was curled up on her bed and hugging the covers. Her vision was still quite blurry because of her sleep driven state, but she was conscious enough to know that she had not made it to the bed by herself.
Rubbing her eyes, she slowly sat up and yawned a little bit, taking note that the room was completely clean and tidy. Even though some of the things that she had broken were missing from the stands (the only difference to indicate the previous night's events) the room seems just like it had been the previous morning.
Her heart began to thump a little fast and she hopped off the bed. A pain shot up her legs and she remembered that she had stepped on glass shards, but when she looks down at her feet, she saw that they were bandaged.
Her heart fluttered again and it swelled up in her chest that it almost felt painful. Her foot slowly inched forward and even through the pain, she kept on walking slowly towards the door, with every step she sped up. She opened the big wooden door and slipped through the crack she made.
Ilya stepped into the hallway, her hopes high and her mind heavy with worry. What would happen to her if her premonitions were not correct? She would probably break down again.
The hallways were as dark as they usually were. The days were still cold and it made her wonder when the winter would phase away. The granite floor was freezing to the touch as well, but she did not care much for it as she turned right and walked down a forgotten corridor. It frightened her a little bit, as it was much more darker in the right wing of the palace, but she soldiered on.
Ilya examined her surroundings before walking to a double-doored room. The white doors were decorated with golden linings and the golden knob seemed much more intimidating when she placed her hand on it. For some odd reason, it felt warm and reassuring in a way that made her happy and glad.
The door propped open as she pushed it with all her might and her eyes had to adjust from the dark hallway to the sun filled room. The bright rays of the sun leaked into the room through the curtains and as she slowly walked towards the door, she saw the beauty of a small bump under the bed covers.
Tears weld in her eyes and she jumped on the bed and hugged the sleeping figure, "Kiritsugu?"
The figure groaned a little bit and sat up from the bed, "Ilya dear." She never knew how much she truly missed her father's voice until she heard it and she had not notice that it also had been such a long time that he sounded foreign.
Ilya wrapped her arms around the man tightly and almost cried, but she should have not been crying for she was happy, so she stopped her tears as she buried her face into her father's neck.
She felt the strong hold of her father as he wrapped his arms around her, and she could feel the happiness overflowing within her, "Papa, why did you leave me all alone?"
He did not respond but only held her tighter. There were faint words that sounded sorrowful and remorseful as Ilya felt his chest rumble, "Forgive me, my Ilya."