Welcome to my newest story! Another Revenge of Hans tale, set approximately two and a half years after the Great Thaw. There will be some similarities to Playing Dirty, but Hans will not be redeemed, amongst other things.
Please read and review if you are interested! All opinions are welcome. That way, I know whether I should continue.
Chapter 1:
For the first time since she was eight years old, Elsa was truly at peace.
The young monarch was seated at the desk of her study, plowing through a formidable stack of paperwork. A neat pile of parchment sat under one elbow. It was a plan for expanding Arendelle's system of higher education, which she had been working on for quite a long time, and was rather proud of how it had turned out. Her goal was to boost literacy to one hundred percent. To give every citizen, regardless of socioeconomic status, a chance at attending university. To promote research in the arts and sciences, and create a culture of innovation and intellectual curiosity. Tomorrow she would meet with the council to discuss the finer details of its logistics and implications.
It was late November, and the air was filled with the sweet fragrance of natural snow. A light dusting of fresh powder was continuously drifting down from the sky above. Her eyes filled with pride and affection, as she gazed out the window across the beautiful, blessed land entrusted to her care. Arendelle was a nation full of hearty, resilient, hardworking people whom she was proud to serve.
This was no time for daydreaming. Elsa glanced back down at the enormous pile of documents, and her lips parted in a smile. "I don't have to do this. I get to do this," she reminded herself. Her heart was kind, her judgment shrewd, and her sense of responsibility indefatigable. But taking care of a kingdom required a tremendous amount of hard work and dedication. At least two or three times a month, she would be confined to her study from the break of dawn until past midnight, toiling ceaselessly for more than twenty-four consecutive hours, with hardly any time for meals.
But she wouldn't have it any other way. Every late-night session in her study was time and labor well spent, if she could make Arendelle a better, safer, more comfortable place for all citizens. Taking care of the people and the country she loved. Fulfilling the oath she took to herself, her father, and God.
No matter how difficult and laborious the job could be, she always had Anna there to keep things fun and lighthearted. No day was so terrible, it could not be fixed by ten minutes spent with her dear sister.
It was Anna's kind heart, warm smile, and open arms that helped them both overcome the pain of the past. Sometimes Elsa still had difficulty fathoming how they had ever managed to survive thirteen years without each other. But they did. And now those dark, miserable days were forever relegated to the footnotes of history.
Elsa reached for an ink bottle and slowly unscrewed the lid. From out the corner of one eye, she caught subtle blur of motion. The ink appeared to take on a life of its own. Instinctively, she jumped at the odd apparition. But soon her rational perspective settled back in. It must have been a figment of her imagination. Elsa shrugged and returned to her work, thinking nothing more of it.
Until an enormous black spider came crawling out of the ink bottle.
For a few tense seconds, Elsa sat wide-eyed and utterly petrified with fear. The spider began to crawl. Its thick, black, hairy limbs twisted and wiggled in a most grotesque fashion, as it skittered across the sheets of parchment. Finally, she broke out of her catatonic state.
"AAAAAAHHHHH!" Elsa took a furious swipe at the ink bottle, knocking it straight through the window. She paid no heed to the enormous mess of viscous black liquid and glass fragments that now littered her entire desk area. In a clumsy, precipitate motion, Elsa shot several meters into the air, knocking her chair to the floor with a noisy clatter. Tripping and stumbling, she bolted across the room in a single leap, screaming hysterically. "HELP! HELP! MURDER!" Her terrified shrieks reverberated violently throughout the entire castle, loud enough to bring down the North Mountain.
Two guards burst into the room, eyes narrowed and hands raised defensively. But before they could even begin to size up the situation, Elsa flung herself at the taller man, wrapping both arms tightly around his neck. Her limbs thrashed about as she desperately attempted to climb on top of his head. The guard cringed awkwardly when her breasts collided repeatedly against his face. "Don't just stand there! Do something!"
The second man eyed her strangely. "Your Majesty, I'm afraid I don't understand."
"Kill it!" Elsa screamed. Her face was red and blotchy, and her hair was completely disheveled. "Don't let it get me!"
From down the hall, Anna's voice began singing a derisive tune. "Elsa's scared of a spider, Elsa's scared of a spider!"
Before the guards could voice their confusion, Kai entered the room. The portly red-haired man had worked in the castle since the early years of Adgar's reign, and understood the two royal sisters better than anyone. He quickly took Elsa by the hand and pulled her into his arms, rubbing soothing circles into her back.
Elsa continued to convulse and sob uncontrollably, saturating his jacket with icy tears. Kai's face was red and his body trembled from exertion, as he desperately attempted to quell an explosion of laughter. "It's all right, snowflake. You're safe now. It's only a spider." He planted a gentle kiss on the top of her head.
"Spider?" One of the guards repeated incredulously. "That's what this is all about?"
The other guard nodded. "I thought there was an armed intruder in the castle!"
Finally, they could hold it in no longer. Both men burst into a fit of giggles. Loud, resounding bellows of mirth that exploded from their lungs and echoed through the halls. Embarrassed, the guards bowed awkwardly and dismissed themselves, continuing to laugh frenziedly. Kai tried to maintain a sympathetic demeanor, but he too was unable to hold back his snorts of laughter.
"Stop laughing!" Elsa screamed furiously, through a fit of sniffles and hiccups. "It's not funny! I thought I was going to die!"
As Elsa began to calm down, Anna danced through the doorway. "Elsa's scared of a spider! Elsa's scared of a spider!" Her jocular expression quickly evolved into empathy and concern, when she beheld her sister's distraught state. "Elsa, are you all right? I'm sorry, I didn't mean to take it that far!"
Elsa cracked a grin. "You're the worst sister ever." Then she sighed. "Maybe this prank war wasn't such a great idea…"
Anna laughed. "You're right. It was a terrible idea… for YOU! We all know I'm gonna win this! Then I get all your desserts for a month!"
"Yeah right. I'll kick your ass to the moon and back!"
"How are you gonna prank me back, huh? By doing math problems at me?"
Elsa grabbed a pillow and hurled it at the sniggering redhead, and Anna immediately returned fire. The girls squealed with laughter as they tumbled to the floor, wrestling playfully, bombarding each other with pillows, blankets, and whatever else they could find. But Anna being an outdoorsy tomboy was much stronger than her scholarly, ladylike sister. Before long, the blonde found herself getting beaten senseless by an enormous barrage of pillows. The air was thick with scattered feathers.
Kai cleared his throat. "Girls, enough! This is getting way too violent." But the sisters paid no heed.
A puff of snow exploded harmlessly against Anna's face, causing the princess to recoil. Elsa saw her chance. She quickly wrenched free and jumped out of range. The blonde chuckled to herself. "Frosty always wins!" Elsa climbed onto a teetering bookshelf with five or six pillows in hand, and took a diving leap at her distracted sister. Anna nimbly stepped aside, and Elsa crashed resoundingly into the coffee table.
The loud splintering of wood and a shrill cry of pain instantly brought their little game to a standstill. Elsa lay slumped on the floor, writhing in pain as she clutched at the dark purple bruise that was forming under one eye.
Doctor Brian Helmholtz was sitting hunched over his desk, flipping through a folder of medical records. He was a handsome man in his early thirties, entering his sixth year as Arendelle's royal physician. His youth did little to detract from his tremendous skill and talent. Dr. Helmholtz matriculated in university at the tender age of fifteen, and finished at the top of his class year after year, ultimately graduating with highest honors.
In spite of his achievements, he was a mild-mannered and polite individual. Although he was very taciturn about the deeper and more intimate aspects of his personal life, he never failed to be cordial and compassionate with those he worked with. There was an engaging affability about him, and a surprising lack of arrogance. He possessed none of the haughtiness that was typically associated with intellectuals.
Dr. Helmholtz was jotting down some notes, when the two royal sisters came barreling in the door. He smiled at Anna. "Back so soon, Princess? Did you go biking on the rooftops again?" At least once a week, Anna would visit him with injuries begotten under the most unimaginably ridiculous circumstances. Joking and teasing had become a part of their routine.
Anna grinned broadly and shook her head. "Nope! Actually, it's this stinker who needs medical attention today!" She prodded Elsa forward.
"Congratulations, Princess. You are no longer the only clumsy person around." Dr. Helmholtz immediately set down his paperwork and bowed deeply to the Snow Queen. "Your Majesty, how may I be of service to you?"
Elsa smiled and gestured for him to stand. "Please, just call me Elsa. I'm here today because someone thought it would be funny to body-slam me into a table, and smash my delicate face into a million bloody pieces."
"She's lying!" Anna feigned indignation. "I body-slammed you? Last time I checked, you jumped into the table yourself, because you're too fat and out of shape!"
Elsa rolled her eyes playfully. "Me? Fat and out of shape? Your hips are like ten feet wide!"
"At least I'm not scared of spiders!" Anna blew a raspberry and began to sing. "Itsy bitsy spider, climbed into Elsa's hair! And then Elsa cried, and pissed her underwear! Out came the ice, and froze up all the pee. And the itsy bitsy spider—"
Anna instantly froze and fell silent as she found herself face-to-face with an army of ice-spiders, each the size of a large dog. Elsa grinned and rubbed her hands gleefully. "Get her!" she commanded.
The redhead rolled around the floor, convulsing with laughter and snorting uncontrollably as she desperately tried to bat the spiders back. "Elsa, you cheater! That's so not fair!"
Dr. Helmholtz smiled awkwardly. Who would've thought that Queen Elsa could be so childish? He never would've expected this behavior from her, and thought it best to refrain from commenting, but it was adorable nonetheless.
As the laughter abated and both girls began to calm down, he motioned for Elsa to take a seat on the exam table. Her right cheek was badly bruised and swollen, sporting a hematoma roughly the size of a human fist. Ugly patches of red and burgundy stained her ivory skin, revealing blood clots and ruptured arteries. He asked some questions and performed a series of diagnostics to test her vision, hearing, and jaw movement on the affected side.
"It's only a contusion," he finally concluded, bandaging up the affected area. "Just apply plenty of ice and take care not to aggravate the injury with any more horseplay." The doctor grinned quirkily, his aqua eyes twinkling with mischief. "If anyone asks, you got into a fight with a bear, and the bear learned not to mess with the Snow Queen. Otherwise it'll be your reputation that needs medical attention."
Elsa smiled and thanked the doctor, before bidding him farewell. Anna followed close behind.
"Did you see the way he was looking at you?" Anna gushed, as soon as they were out of earshot. "I think he likes you!"
"Don't be ridiculous," Elsa chuckled. "He was just being nice."
Anna snorted incredulously. "Just being nice? He didn't joke with me to that extent, until at least the tenth time I visited him!"
Elsa sighed. "I will concede one point. He does have an amazing sense of humor, and he really knows how to put people at ease." The girls continued laughing and joking as they made their way into the castle gardens, for a much-needed snowball fight.
Hans swallowed nervously as he was led out of the dungeons and into the light of day, for the first time since his imprisonment nearly two-and-a-half years ago. King Henrik of the Southern Isles, his eldest brother, had requested an audience with him. Hans was utterly bewildered. What could this possibly be about? A plethora of horrifying images flashed through his mind. Henrik was not a merciful person.
His mind continued racing as he ascended one cold, drafty staircase after another. The guards' faces were stern and expressionless as they prodded him sharply in the back. "Move it, scum. We haven't got all day."
Finally, they arrived at the throne room, where his brother sat waiting at the end of a large rectangular table. "The prisoner, Your Majesty." The guards curtly bowed and dismissed themselves.
King Henrik of the Southern Isles was a most imposing man. In his mid-forties, his auburn hair was intermittently streaked with gray. He had the same hazel eyes and facial structure as his youngest brother, except his jaw was slightly thicker and he sported a full beard. Henrik was a few inches taller than Hans and more heavily built. But portraits depicting the two brothers in their childhood and adolescent years were virtually indistinguishable.
Hans finally broke the silence. "You summoned me, brother?" he ventured timorously. His voice was raw and scratchy from lack of use.
"Brother?" Henrik snapped incredulously. "It's Your Majesty to you!" Hans shrank back, feeling like a small child being scolded. The thirteenth prince had always prided himself in being able to maneuver his way out of any sticky situation. But there was an offhanded authority in Henrik's voice and demeanor, which never failed to intimidate him. No matter how confident and swaggering he was around anyone else, Henrik could always reduce him into a quivering wreck.
Henrik glared straight into his soul with those piercing green eyes. "Hans, you had one job. Arendelle was ours for the taking! And you were defeated by a talking snowman and a silly little girl with the brain capacity of a garden snail!"
Those words stung. That stark reminder of his failure felt like an arrow straight to the heart. He had lost his freedom, his dignity, and his status as a Prince. Meanwhile, the witch and her stupid brat of a sister were happily enjoying their lives in a beautiful, prosperous kingdom full of adoring subjects. Hans feebly opened his mouth to defend himself, but not a sound came out.
Henrik continued, "Hans, did you honestly think people would accept your word that Princess Anna was dead, without bothering to go check on her? Did you not know that marriage vows carry no legal validity in the absence of witnesses? Most importantly, could you not be bothered to at least make sure she was dead, before telling everyone that she was? It would've taken less than a minute to smother her with a pillow. If you'd taken these simple precautions, Arendelle would be ours."
Tell me something I don't already know, Hans thought bitterly. You've spent the past two and a half years reminding me what a failure I am.
Henrik produced a dagger and slid its steely edge neatly across the younger man's cheek, unleashing a trickle of blood. Hans grimaced and his eyes watered, but not a sound escaped his lips. "This is your punishment for failing."
Two years in the dungeons isn't punishment? Hans cursed silently. But he dared not speak unless spoken to. Hans had learned at a very young age to refrain from voicing any opinions, and to be as submissive and unassuming as possible in the presence of his eldest brother.
When Henrik inherited the throne twelve years ago, he immediately undertook drastic measures to protect himself from usurpers. To establish himself as a man who would not be trifled with. Shortly into his reign, word had spread that the second and third Princes of the Southern Isles were staging an overthrow. Henrik wasted no time in getting to the bottom of things, taking mere days to deconstruct the plans they had spent months formulating. The two men were promptly castrated and had their thumbs forcibly severed. No one ever dared to plot against him again.
Henrik's malevolent expression softened slightly, as he tossed a small leather pouch full of coins at Hans' feet. "And this is a token of my gratitude. For it turns out that your abject failure did in fact produce some advantageous consequences, however unintentional. Thanks to your idiocy, our eyes have been opened… to the true riches of Arendelle. There is much more than a silly trade alliance to be gained through a takeover."
Hans could only stare at him in confusion. Henrik slammed his fists on the table. "Idiot! Don't you realize what we could become if we were to have the witch under our control? If we could harness her abilities as a weapon of war? Other nations would keel over and surrender without putting up the least bit of resistance! We could have the world at our feet!"
Hans found his voice again. "How do you plan on getting the witch under your control?"
Henrik poured himself a glass of wine. "I am aware that you were once engaged to Princess Anna of Arendelle. Is this true?"
Hans shrugged cavalierly. "What does that have to do with anything?"
Henrik's eyes blazed with fury, as he drew his dagger and thrust it straight at Hans' face, stopping inches short of his chin. "Answer the question!"
Terrified, Hans nodded vigorously. "Yes, yes! I was in fact engaged to her."
"Correction. You are." Henrik grinned wickedly and took another sip of wine. "Now tell me, my dear little brother, how much do you know about marital law? Or more specifically, the logistics of divorce and annulment?"
Thank you for reading! More to come…