THE QUEEN'S FIRST TIME
Disclaimer: This story is not intended, in any way, for profit or any other sort of remuneration. All creative rights of the characters and the world of Frozen belong to Walt Disney.
Warning: This fanfiction is rated M for a reason (explicit content, vulgar language, etc.), so please take that into consideration when reading.
A/N: A huge thanks to Secretcastle for her endless support and encouragement. This story is unbeta'ed and English is not my native language, so I apologized in advance for any errors there could be. If anyone is interested in beta-reading my Helsa content, please don't hesitate to PM me. Comments are welcome, but please be respectful. Enjoy.
CHAPTER I
Two bodies face to face
Are at times two waves
And the night is an ocean.
Two bodies face to face
Are sometimes two stones
And the night a desert.
Two bodies face to face
Are at times two roots
laced into the night.
Two bodies face to face
Are sometimes two knives
And night strikes sparks.
Two bodies face to face
Are two stars falling
In an empty sky.
—Octavio Paz
I want to do with you what Spring does with the cherry trees.
—Pablo Neruda
"I believe this covers everything for today, gentlemen," said the Queen with her forearms laying on the desk and her hands intertwined. "Thank you."
She and her advisory council had just finished their weekly meeting on state affairs.
"You're welcome, Your Majesty."
"Good evening, Your Highness," were the replies she received from her subjects as they stood up from their chairs. These included Foreign Affairs Minister Lord Hensen, Finance Minister Lord Berg, the overseer of the castle, Mr. Kai Nilsen, and the chief of Arendelle's navy, Admiral Hans Westergard. There was also her nephew, Prince Fredrik, of thirteen years of age and heir to the crown, who attended the meetings as part of his diplomatic training.
"Admiral, could you stay for a second please?" she asked looking at him once as she also stood up.
The Admiral nodded, sitting down again.
Prince Fredrik approached her.
"Aunt, we still have practice later, right?" He had inherited Elsa's powers and she was teaching him, when they both had free time, how to control and use them.
"Yes," she answered him, her eyes softening when she looked at his young face. "But can we move it to six thirty? I need to finish up some paperwork."
"Yes, no problem." The boy smiled. "Six thirty then. See you later." He turned to the Admiral, under whom he was receiving military training on the Queen's flagship, the Alexandra. "Commanding Officer." He adopted a firm stance.
"You're dismissed, Prince," was all the redhead and finely dressed man said.
As soon as his nephew left the room after the other council members, the Queen froze the door's lock from the inside, walking around her desk. She went to where the Admiral was, nudging herself between his knees and sitting on one of his thighs. A small smile grazed her lips as she leaned in to kiss him.
He returned the kiss eagerly, one arm circling her waist, his hand holding her face. They both exhaled contented sighs when they separated.
"Elsa, we shouldn't do this here?"
"I haven't seen you for days," she said as if it was reason enough to kiss him in private.
"And you know why. I've been busy, we both have been."
"I miss being with you," her fingers played with the neck of his shirt, "like we did in the fall."
They were in the middle of February, in full winter season. Months earlier they had been able to meet secretly in different places of the castle's outskirts with the use of horses, hiding themselves in small forests or behind nooks naturally made on the mountains' hillsides. But now, with the cold and snow covering everything that option was discarded, not so much for the Queen, as the cold didn't bother her, but for him.
"We see each other quite often, nonetheless, save for when we have to travel abroad on our own. And Spring is around the corner."
"You know what I mean. Yes, we see each other, but we can't do this." She kissed him again, her fluffy lips lingering on his.
Hans inhaled deeply.
"I understand, believe me, because I want to kiss you as much as you want to kiss me, and I also want to spend time with you. But we should be careful." He put in place one rebel lock of platinum hair.
"I froze the bolt of the door so no one can come in," she said, meaning she was being meticulous.
"And what will the person that tries to open it and sees it is locked think? That we're doing everything except what we should."
Her gaze dropped shyly by the insinuation. "Or that we just don't want to be bothered."
"Really? Where have you seen that a man and a woman lock themselves to work together?" She stayed silent, and so he continued. "We've always worked with open doors, having nothing to hide, and it should remain that way. If not people will start suspecting and we'll just give more credit to the rumors that already exist about us."
She knew he was right and that it was probably the feelings she harbored for him that was making her do those foolish things.
"I understood you wanted to keep secret what we have between us," he said remembering the day they had acknowledged the feelings they had for each other.
"And I do." She wasn't ready to face the reaction of her people, of them knowing she was romantically involved with her Admiral, with whom she didn't intend to marry, something very inappropriate and scandalous in the times they were living in, specially for someone of her position. Besides, she had to think of her kingdom first, and then of herself. She had always known that marrying for love was not an option for her, not when an arranged marriage could benefit her nation politically and economically. And even if the occasion presented itself, she had to be careful who she was giving her hand to, and with more reason if it was the Admiral. She knew he wasn't after the crown anymore, but still… it didn't mean he wouldn't welcome more power into his hands. But most of all, she wasn't ready to face Anna. She had made a promise to her, a promise that explicitly said she wouldn't marry him, him in particular, and for the time being, she didn't intend to break it.
It was undeniable though that what they felt for each other was strong, powerful, intense, and that it kept growing day by day. It sometimes frightened her, and others it made her think, trying to understand why he was acting the way he was. Her mind wandered to the question that had been bothering her, the question she had meant to ask him for weeks, but hadn't found the courage to. From the beginning, from their real first kiss, he had always behaved properly, treated her with respect, and made her feel cherished, important, and loved, very loved, in a way she hadn't been before. Still, that didn't explain his physical passiveness in regards to her when she knew how the title of 'conqueror' preceded him and she had been an indirect witness of it.
"Can I ask you something personal that… has to do with me?" she asked warily.
"You know you can." His fingers were playing with the end of her blonde braid.
"I would like you to be honest..."
"When haven't I been honest with you, Elsa?" It was true. Even when he had landed in Arendelle more than a decade and a half earlier with the intention of seizing the kingdom, deceiving her sister and trying to kill her, even then, he had told her the truth he knew at the time. And now that sincerity, built between them along the years, had already borne its fruits. It was one of the most important reasons of why their relationship had worked so well so far.
"Why... why haven't you tried to bed me yet?" There, she had finally asked it.
The Admiral, surprised for an instant, looked at her, trying to guess what was really behind that question. He relaxed, a small smile appearing on the corners of his mouth.
"Because I want to keep on living," he jested.
"I'm being serious." Her firm stare cautioned him.
"And I'm not joking." He let go of her hair. "I haven't tried because I didn't know I could, that you were open to it. You told me once that I didn't stand a chance with you, that trying to seduce you wouldn't work."
"Haven't you been seducing me all these months?"
Hans smiled as if the question seemed funny.
"I think it's the other way around, you are the one who has been seducing me." The look on his eyes mirrored how well that beguilement had work. "Why do you ask me this? What has prompted it?"
"Nothing really… It's only that I remember how when we crossed the Southern Isles and had to run from the ship of your brother, the Hyacinth, we rested at that woman's house... What was her name…? Viscaria," she remembered, a beautiful dark haired woman with a sun-kissed skin, mother of a small girl, who the Admiral, Captain at that time, had saved from the Nasturtium, a slaver ship. "It didn't take you more than two days to sleep with her." She looked at him a little bit embarrassed. "It makes me wonder, after several months, I don't know… if there's something you don't like about me, if I'm not enough." Her eyes lowered to her fidgety fingers. "I definitely know I'm not becoming any younger."
Hans sighed, mentally kicking himself for not having seen this coming. He tightened his embrace on her, so she would pay attention.
"Would it calm you if I said that I wish I could make love to you right here, right now, to vanish your doubts?" he whispered in her ear.
The Queen reddened intensely, not being able to turn her head to look at him. She shook her head.
"No, it would only make me more nervous." She rested herself against his body, her head on his shoulder.
"Okay, then I won't say it." Elsa smiled like an enamored teenager, because he already had. "But what I will say is that you are a lot more than enough and that I don't mind your age or how good-looking you think you ought to be. I didn't fall in love with you because of your beauty."
"Why then?" Her heart shaped face looked at him.
"You already know." His tone was playful.
"No, I don't," she half lied.
"You just want to hear me say it." She smiled guiltily and that undid him. "I fell in love with you because of the way you are, of the way you think and act, because of your strength, your wit, your self-possession, your compassion, and much more…" Elsa's eyes shone, her heart thundering in her chest, rejoiced by his words. "And that's all in here." He touched her temple. "I'm in love with your head, Elsa, with your mind." He kissed her forehead with fondness.
"I believe I can understand now why you tried to behead me that day so long ago… You just wanted the head of the ice witch…" she humored darkly after a few seconds, a wicked smile gracing her lips.
The Admiral's eyes opened widely, like dishes.
"I can't believe you just made a joke with that," he said aghast, not knowing very well if to laugh or to look repented.
"Me neither," she laughed with mirth seeing his expression. "But since I don't attract you by my looks, what else than to be funny and be able to laugh about our past together."
Hans loosened up. If she could banter about such a delicate subject, it only meant she had healed more than he could have anticipated.
"Don't be silly. You are gorgeous, which only helps me feel more attracted to you. Besides, you do look younger than your age."
"Don't try to fix it now, Admiral," she teased caressing his well shaved jaw. He kissed her palm, his keen jade iris courting her silently.
They stayed looking at each other for some time, the Queen admiring his handsome features. Her fingertips touched the freckles on his cheeks and nose. She could tell the comical moment had passed, and that instead, emotions were filling the air between them. She decided to go on with the conversation she had started.
"Does all this mean that you would spend the night with me if I asked you to?" There was no trace of amusement in her voice this time.
"Well, that depends."
She frowned. "Of what?"
"Of why you want me to. Sleeping with someone is an important step that you shouldn't take lightly."
"It didn't seem that important to you when you slept with Viscaria," she said glancing sideways.
"It's not the same, you can't compare. That was a one-time thing," he tried to explain. "There was attraction, eagerness on both parts, and we both knew very well what we were about to do and that we wouldn't be seeing each other again." He paused, inhaling, looking at her as if she was a very difficult feat to achieve. "With you, however, it's not so simple. It would be your first time and there are real feelings involved here that we should protect. That is without mentioning the fact that I work for you and that we see each other pretty often, if not daily sometimes, and that if you ever decided to marry or anyone found out about it, it would only harm you. The truth is… that I respect you too much to even consider dishonoring you."
Elsa sat up straight. She appreciated that respect, but not that much if it prevented him from pursuing her. Had she been ten years younger, it would have undoubtedly flattered her.
"I wouldn't be the first Queen to arrive impure to marriage," she informed him.
"Certainly" he conceded.
"And we could be discreet about it, like we've been until now. No one would have to discover it," she continued, trying to win her case.
"So you've been really giving it a thought..." He watched her in a new light, realizing for the first time she was honestly being serious about it. He had always imagined that if the time came, he would be the one to take the first step, but the roles were reversed, and she confirmed it with her next words.
"Is that a bad thing? Do you think less of me for wanting to try it with you, for voicing it out loud?" she asked timidly, looking at him out of the corner of her eyes. "I mean, I'm not a twenty-five year old maiden anymore..."
She was curious, she wanted to experiment, and whether he believed it or not, she was choosing him for it.
"I would be honored, Elsa. I don't think less of you, you know I like your directness," he tried to reassure her.
"Then what is the problem?"
"There is no problem. I simply believe you should think better about it."
"And here I thought you would jump at the opportunity of getting in my bed…" she huffed with irony.
He pulled from her braid lightly so she would look at him again.
"Don't misinterpret me, dear, I'm trying to be polite here. I really want to bed you, more than you can even imagine. It is precisely because of that, because of how much I desire you and of how much it would mean to me, that I think both of us must be very sure about it, especially you. We shouldn't rush it. It should be special and you have to feel comfortable with it." There was a ocean of knowledge in the depth of his eyes that she couldn't quite comprehend with her inexperience. She felt as if he was trying to protect her from something, even if she couldn't pinpoint what it was. She paid it no mind.
"Who says I'm not already feeling comfortable?" she refuted, her chin rising up.
The Admiral smiled; she was so strong minded.
"I don't think you're following me," he said sitting straighter on the chair with her still on top of his thigh. "What we've been sharing all these months, the kisses, the hugs, the hand holding, the small caresses, the stolen glances, are just the tip of the iceberg in what relates to sex." Without permission, the hand that was at her waist moved up over the lateral of her torso and held one breast from underneath; the other got lost between the opening of her ice blue dress, his fingers stroking the interior face of one leg, going upwards, past the knee and into her thigh. The Queen stopped breathing, her body perking up by his bold touch. Her startled azure eyes never left his knowing verdant ones, suspended for an instant in a symbolic exchange. After a few seconds, she rapidly placed her own hands on his, stopping him, closing her legs at the same time. Hans removed his extremities and put them again in safe areas, his point clearly stated. "I'm going to be touching you a lot more than that if we sleep together, and not only with my hands. Are you ready for that? Are you ready to let me see you naked, to put yourself in my hands? To work with me the following day and act as if nothing has happened? I already have all my questions answered, but you should devote more time to yours."
"I see…" she voiced weakly assimilating what had just happened, her cheeks flaming red.
"Take your time, we're not in a hurry. I'll accept whatever you decide to do, whether it is to move forward or to remain as we are now."
"You would really stay with me like this without expecting more in the future?" Her tone was incredulous. Maybe she hadn't slept with a man before, but she didn't need to to know what all men expected sooner or later when in the company of a woman.
"Would that be so hard to believe? I have until now," Hans answered very calmly.
"You don't seem to be the kind of man that settles for this."
At this point, the Admiral thought of how little conscious she was of her influence on him. "What kind of man am I then?"
"The kind that gets what he wants." And this she knew for a fact, for his past showed how relentless he was when pursuing his goals.
"Who says I'm not getting what I want already?" he asked confidently, smiling because it was a similar question to the one she had used before.
The Queen squinted at him. "You know what I mean."
Hans chuckled, giving in. "I want more, I don't deny it, but I want you to want it too, that's all."
She pondered his answer for a few seconds, determining it was a valid one for her. "All right."
"I should go."
But you've barely kissed me, she suddenly thought, remembering why she had locked the door in the first place, the disillusion showing fleetingly on her eyes. She stood up and stepped aside, placing her thin and transparent cape out of the way.
They walked together in silence towards the door. She turned to him gracefully, her hands clasped in front of her.
"Well, I hope you have a good evening," she wished him with a forced smile.
The Admiral caught her by the waist, bringing her closer, his other hand holding her face, his thumb tracing her cheek. His green eyes studied her for a moment.
"Don't look so disappointed," he whispered before fitting his lips on her mouth. Elsa exhaled, succumbing, opening up for him, her arms circling him over his uniform jacket. He gave her what she wanted, sinking his avid tongue inside her sweet cocoon. He took his time, exploring her mouth thoroughly, changing the angle to penetrate her better. Elsa allowed him to consume her.
They were breathless when they separated, their bodies ignited by the flame of passion.
"Don't go," she pleaded with a dreamy look. It was not very often that he kissed her that way.
Hans touched her swelled up lips with his thumb, a predatory look on his eyes. Elsa's knees always trembled when she was at the other end of that gaze.
"I have to. I shouldn't be here."
She could tell it was hard for him to leave her, so she tried to make it easier for him.
"Will you stay longer next time?" She embraced him, laying her face on his chest. His chin rested on her hair.
"I promise you I'll find more time for us."
They breathed in unison embracing each other until Elsa distanced herself, only their hands connecting them.
"Go."
Hans kissed her on the cheek, the forehead, the nose and the mouth. It was a little game they played when they had to part ways.
"Have a good evening, darling," he said also kissing the back of her hand.
"You too," she replied affectionately.
Elsa unfroze the lock. The Admiral opened the door and, before crossing the threshold, winked at her. She stayed in her office feeling like her heart would burst from the love that flooded her.
Two weeks later...
"I'm ready, Hans," she said turning to him once they were left alone in his cabin at the Alexandra. They had just finished a meeting with some of the captains under the Admiral's command regarding a possible new trading agreement between the kingdoms of Arendelle and Glowerhaven with the Americas. Both Queen Elsa and Queen Constanza were excited about expanding their businesses beyond the Atlantic ocean. The contracts and documentation were still being studied and the negotiations continued, but if everything went according to plan and there were no surprises, it was pretty certain that the first trip to the new continent was to take place in early Spring and part of the Navy was going to participate to ensure the goods and natural resources arrived there without incidents.
Elsa was on her feet, dressed with a traditional purple gown with Nordic flower patterned braces, like the ones her mother used to wear when she was alive, her platinum braid shining over her shoulder.
"Ready for what?" the Admiral asked busy, picking up some maps and papers. He was clothed in his naval attire: long sleeved shirt, dark colored vest, breeches, boots and cravat. The jacket was hanging on the back of his chair.
The Queen remained silent, waiting for him to raise his head. When he looked at her it dawned on him.
"Oh..." He stopped what he was doing. "Are you sure?"
"Yes." She nodded with a smile, moving a little closer to him. She left enough distance between them in case someone entered the room. She didn't freeze the lock of the door this time, following the advice he had given her. "I'm ready to know everything there is to know about each other," she confessed blushing.
If that wasn't a declaration of intentions, then he didn't know what would be. The Admiral dropped the papers and went to sit on the top front of his desk, one leg bended, his hands on the knee.
"How do you want to do it?"
Elsa raised an eyebrow.
"I thought you were going to be in charge of that," she replied confused.
He gave a hearty laugh.
"No, I meant how do you want to go about it. Where do you want it to happen? When?" He wasn't sure how they were going to accomplish it, at least not inside the castle, as it was completely surrounded by water and it was pretty much impossible to go in or out without being noticed. But he waited, knowing her Ice Queen always had an ace up her sleeve.
"My bedroom," she answered quickly, surprising him. She tried to act calmed, but inside her heart nervously pulsed with anticipation by the proposal. "There is a secret passage that connects the mainland with the castle, going underneath the water. It can get you very close to it. Very few people know about it. I'll tell you how to get there. As for when, how about tonight?"
"Tonight?" he repeated astonished. Suddenly, it seemed harder to swallow.
"Yes, why? You already have something planned?"
"No... It's just that I thought you were going to say in a couple of days or perhaps to leave it until after my travel to Corona," he explained.
The notion that he was leaving soon for more than a fortnight had actually helped her to make up her mind.
"I said I was ready," she insisted.
"All right. Tonight then," he agreed, not objecting.
"I'll have to tell Gerda, so she controls the servants," she informed him, referring to the housekeeper of the castle. "I don't want to take risks. I need someone on my side if I'm going to do this and I trust her."
"That's fine, I understand," the Admiral tranquilized her.
"Do you want me to explain to you how to get to my room?"
"Yes, please."
Both of them sat in front of the refined wooden desk, facing the painting that hung on the wall, a portrait of Admiral Rochport, died in combat more than a year earlier and predecessor of Admiral Westergard. Elsa picked up a blank paper and a steel writing pen. She sank the tip in the ink and started drawing the ground floor outline of the castle and of the fjord, marking the walls and the points of entrance.
"It may take you some time today to get there, but in normal circumstances it is about ten to fifteen minutes to walk from the coast to the underground level of the castle."
"I don't mind how much it takes me, as long as it leads me to you," he said looking at her profile, his elbow resting on the table and the head on his hand. Elsa smiled and continued.
"You'll have to go to this point," she made an 'X' on the shore, far away from the port and the center of town "and cross the east entrance of the wall. Once you're out, keep going straight, following the water, until there is a very large boulder rock. You won't miss it." She kept drawing the path. "Go behind it and enter the forest that is there. Walk until you find the face of the hill. There will be a lot of tall bushes, all covered in snow now. Around ten steps to your left will be the entrance, hidden by thicket. It's easy not to notice it unless you're looking for it."
"Do you think I'll recognize the place during the night?"
"You will. I left this hanging on the trunk of the tree that is right in front of it." Using her powers, she created with her hand a thick fist-sized ice snowflake. She showed it to him. "It'll only melt when you touch it." Hans tried to take it from her hand, but the snowflake instantly started to disappear into the air.
"I'm not going to ask how you're able to do that," he murmured with awe, not because of the snowflake per se, but because of the clever magic behind it.
"I know a lot more of my gift now than I did twenty years ago." Because yes, after many years, she finally saw it as a gift and not a curse.
"That I can see." His eyes were enchanted by her. "When did you leave it there? The snowflake."
"Almost a week ago." The Admiral's red brows went up. The Queen left the pen on the paper and crossed her forearms on the table. "I've been thinking of this for the last two weeks, trying to figure out the most discreet way to do it. I thought at first that we could maybe pay a room somewhere in town, but it's too risky, as someone would probably recognize us. And in reality I don't like that option very much. I prefer it to happen in my bedroom, a place I know and in which I feel comfortable."
"I agree with that."
"Once I remembered the secret passage, I knew that would be our solution."
The Admiral wondered what alternative would they have found if the secret alley didn't exit, but as it wasn't the case he didn't waste time on it.
"You know, there is also a secret passage in the palace of the Southern Isles. When I was a kid I tried to find it a thousand times, but I never did and my brothers never told me. Even today, I still don't know where it is. Not that it matters anymore…"
Elsa took one of his hands in hers, and caressed it with her thumbs, ignoring for a moment that the door of the cabin could open at any time. She knew of the difficult childhood he had lived with his older brothers. It hurt her inside when she thought of it because she knew that that time of his life had shaped him growing up, influenced him to the point of making him the man he was when he attended her coronation. Her own childhood hadn't been easy, no doubt, but at least she had been loved.
"Well, now you're going to know the path to the heart of my castle," she said gently.
"I'm only interested in knowing the path to your heart." Roses bloomed in her cheeks with his words. She wasn't sure he hadn't already found out.
The Admiral squeezed her hand once and released it, not wanting to take chances in being caught. "How do you know the snowflake hasn't melted? It's been sunny these past few days."
"Because I know the strength of my magic and because we are in winter, my favorite season."
"When was this secret passage built? Do you know?"
"I think like two or three centuries ago… My great great great grandfather built it so my family had an escape route in case of an attack or of a fire. But it's barely been used. I think it was like three years ago that I went down there to see in what condition it was in. It is a very resilient passage, you'll see."
"Who knows of it?" the Admiral wanted to know.
"Gerda, Kai and Anna… Probably Kristoff too, as I'm sure she's told him, just in case an emergency occurs."
"Good, the less the better, because this is a very delicate and valuable piece of information. In the wrong hands it can cause us a big problem."
"But it's not in the wrong hands and we've never had a problem," pronounced Elsa with conviction.
The Admiral let it be, though in his mind he was already worried by the existence of such a passage that could let a person walk right into the castle and kill the Queen herself. "Tell me what do I do when I find the entrance."
"First of all, be careful with your head when you go in, the space is small. There'll be a steep stair going down. When you reach the bottom grab the oil lamp I'll tell Gerda to leave there for you and just walk straight into the tunnel. It won't be until you reach a staircase going up that you'll know you're under the castle," she explained to him. "Don't use those, turn to your left and walk until you've left behind two stairs more. The third one is the one you should use. If you go up the wrong one you'll be heading into the dungeons, a place I don't think you want to refresh in your memory," she quipped with a witty look. Oh yes, he had been incarcerated a few days in a cell before being sent to the Southern Isles after his failed attempt of making Arendelle his.
"Keep joking. I'll get my payback tonight," warned the Admiral with a very self-assured stance.
Elsa's smile diminished on her lips, somewhat understanding what he meant and knowing he had the advantage being the experienced one. She told him of the turns and hidden hallways he would have to follow, signaling everything on the paper. "These stairs," she finally said touching a specific point on the drawn instructions, "will lead you directly to the northern corridor of the castle's second floor. The door of my room is just about three rods from where you'll be coming out, to the left."
"All right, I think I'll manage." Hans took the paper in his hands and studied the little map. "At what time do you want me there?"
"Well, I guess the later the better, so everyone is sleeping."
"Around ten?" he suggested.
"Yes, that's fine. Do you need to be up at a certain hour?" she asked, mentally going over the list she had made earlier that morning.
"Yes, I do. At five," the Admiral informed her leaving the paper on the desk.
"So early? Why?"
"Because I'm training all the cadets at six."
A surprised expression came onto her face. "I thought the captains took care of that…"
"And they do, but this is a surprise practice, the recruits are not expecting me. I do it from time to time, to see how they are doing and to verify the reports I get are accurate. Ultimately, they will be Arendelle's future navy, and I need to have them well prepared and trained."
The Queen smiled gratefully to him, but at the same time her shoulders slumped slightly.
"Do you prefer to postpone this to another day?" she offered. "It doesn't have to be tonight."
"Are you kidding? No. I wouldn't miss tonight for anything, especially not for a bunch of beginners" he emphasized. "Besides, the look on their faces when they see me appear is reward enough for having to wake up so early. They get really nervous…"
"I wonder why." Through his nephew, Elsa knew what kind of instructor Hans was. Tough, demanding, firm, but fair and understanding when he needed to be. "I'll tell Gerda then."
"Thank you."
"Should I have something to drink and eat in my bedroom, in case we get hungry?" Another check on the mental list.
"You can, but I only need you there. You'll be the one I'll want to eat and drink tonight," he answered with a grin.
"Hans!" she reprimanded him in a low tone.
"What? It's the truth. Get accustomed to it." Hans saw her shook her head, as if he was hopeless and couldn't be fixed. And she was right, sexually he couldn't. "You are aware there won't be a turning point if we do this, right?" he said a little more serious. "Everything will change, it'll get very personal, more than it already is."
"Yes, I know," she replied.
"It might blur the lines we work under and that could be a risk."
"What do you mean?" Her eyes hardened for a second.
"This will strengthen our bond, or at least I hope it does," he confessed, "but it will be as much for the good as for the bad. We'll have to find a way to keep apart our personal life from our professional one."
"Are you worried we won't be able to?"
"No, but we might need to work on it at some point in the future. After all, we do like to argue." He couldn't count the times they had wrangled in the last two years, whether in public or in private.
Elsa snorted, still perfectly seated on the padded chair. "Be more specific, you are the one who likes to argue with me."
"Someone needs to challenge your ideas from time to time and I just happen to be that person. Besides, you confront me head on every single time, which makes me think you enjoy it."
"Well, I'm not going to let you bully me into your views. I am the one ruling this kingdom, not you." Her stare was unyielding and her chin slightly up.
"I'm well aware of that," he acknowledged without problem. However, the smirk and the look on his face sent her a different message: 'Yes, you may be the one in command but both of us know how much you need me.'
"And for your information, you're a pain in the neck most of the time."
Hans' smile broadened. "I know, but you like that about me."
The Queen tried to hold her serious expression, but didn't succeed, finally grinning to him. The Admiral thought of how much he liked to see her smile that way.
"I think we make a good team and that we'll be able to handle whatever comes our way," she said positively. "We've been through a lot already and here we are."
"That's right," he agreed.
A couple of knocks on the door interrupted their conversation. They both turned to look at Officer Iversen, who appeared behind the door.
"Admiral, Mr. Dahlberg is here to see you," the young man apprised.
"Right. Please tell him that I'll me meet him in a moment."
"Yes, Sir," he answered before disappearing.
Elsa stood up and he imitated her.
"I'll leave, so you can keep working." She reached the door, his figure behind her. "I'll see you tonight then?" she asked in a whisper facing him.
"Yes, I'll be there," he said nodding, "I'll follow the instructions."
"Okay." The need to kiss and to touch was there, powerful, latent, but they both restrained, their eyes doing all the talking.
The Admiral opened the door and the Queen walked swiftly outside.
Later that evening in her bedroom, after changing into her ice blue dress, Elsa called for her housekeeper, a brunette plump woman dressed in prim dark green clothes who had served three generations of her family.
"Your Majesty, you wanted to see me?" the old lady asked once inside.
"Yes, Gerda. Please come in, I have something to tell you" replied the Queen standing up from her tripartite mirror vanity near the windows and the dressing screen, where she had been reviewing her personal correspondence. Silence suddenly invaded the space, as the servant patiently waited.
"Your Majesty?" Gerda called, not understanding her sovereign's fidgety hands and muted attitude.
"I'm sorry. I really don't know how to say this…" Elsa started pacing the floor. "I don't want you to judge me. I know you've known me my whole life."
"Please, Your Majesty, you do not have anything to worry about. I will not judge you. You can speak freely to me."
"All right," she said coming to a stop and looking at the housekeeper with as much determination as she could muster. "Admiral Westergard is going to spend the night here."
A slight look of astoundment crossed the old woman's face, but she recovered quickly nonetheless. It wasn't a secret the Queen and the Admiral had gotten along very well for some time. There had been rumors since after the war against Weselton that implied they had something more than a cordial and healthy friendship, but no one had ever been able to prove it. Gerda remembered there had even been a time when both the Queen's nephew and Kai had tried to catch them in a compromising situation, bumping into her office an unexpected hours, being extra watchful at official events, but they never came up with anything. They were just plain friends.
But now, the housekeeper had real confirmation that there was more than what they let on in public. Even if in a way it seemed reprehensible what they were going to do, she couldn't stop herself from feeling happy for her monarch, who had done so much for Arendelle and her people, sacrificing in many occasions her own personal life. "Very well, Your Majesty," she said with a small inclination of her head, accepting the good news.
"I need of your discretion, so no one finds out. He's going to use the secret passage that connects the mainland with the castle, so please leave a lamp for him at the other end. Have this corridor empty too, so no one bumps into him. I don't even want Anja to attend me tonight or tomorrow morning," ordered the Queen referring to her sixteen-year-old handmaiden, "I don't know if I can trust her with this. Not yet, at least."
"I understand, Your Majesty. I'll take care of this personally."
"Thank you," Elsa said relieved.
"I think Mr. Nilsen should also be informed, as he controls the male part of the staff," Gerda suggested. "He will not reveal a thing."
"You're right, and I know he won't. You both have always exceeded in your work for my family and the kingdom and that's why my parents were so fond of you."
"Thank you very much, Your Majesty," the royal head of the house bowed appreciating the compliment.
"Please do tell him, and also, could you bring later, around nine thirty, something to drink and a bite to eat? Nothing heavy," the Queen asked still touching her hands nervously.
"Of course, my lady. Will you be drinking wine?"
"No. I'll need something stronger." The servant tried to suppress her smile. "Bring the Akevitt from my private collection, I know the Admiral likes it, and some brandy too."
"As you wish, Your Majesty. Anything else?"
"Yes. Please wake us up at five. I know it's very early, but Hans… I mean, the Admiral," the Queen corrected rapidly, "needs to be up at that time."
"Do not worry, five it is then," she said very well mannered.
"Thank you very much, Gerda. I really appreciate you helping me out with this," Elsa spoke sincerely getting closer to her servant.
The housekeeper looked at her fondly. She had seen this strong, intelligent and beautiful woman grow from the withdrawn, scared little girl she had been. King Agdar and Queen Idun came to her mind. They would be so proud of her, of what she had become and achieved.
"It is the least I can do, Your Majesty, you've always been very good to all of us. It is only fair that you have your moment too," she voiced with a small smile, causing Elsa to blush. She was tempted to ask the Queen if she needed any advice for the night ahead, like the explanation given to a newly married before her wedding night. But she refrained, not wanting to make her uncomfortable or to step out of her boundaries. Whether she knew what was coming or not, she was sure the Admiral was competent enough to show and guide her. "If that's all, my lady, I'll return to my duties."
"Yes, of course," Elsa said nodding. "Thank you."
A/N (updated July 2016):
i. This story takes place around the the 1840s. Elsa and Hans are 38 and 40 years old respectively.
ii. 3 rods can be equivalent to around 12-15 meters (in Norway the metric system wasn't introduced until the 1880s).
iii. Akevitt is an alcoholic drink that is mainly produced in the Scandinavian region since several centuries ago.
iv. Neruda's quote is from the Poem XIV of '20 Love Poems and a Song of Despair'. Paz's poem is from his work 'Freedom under Parole'.