For any of you who might get a little confused, this is sort of like a prologue. After this chapter, I'm going to go back and explain everything that happened up until this point and continue after. I have NO idea how long this will end up... Could be 30 chapters, could be 4. (: It depends on how I feel writing wise and if I get any reviews, so happy reading!

Oh, and just so you know. I didn't mention any names on purpose. Take a guess as to who people are- There's a 50/50 chance. ;)

I found myself shaking uncontrollably, my eyes darting around the room for something- any indication that he was alright… But no matter how much I wished it, the white blank room simply stared back at me, making me realize that only time would tell…

Only time would tell me if he would live.

I couldn't imagine my life without him. It hadn't been anything but that for the past year. For the last 365 days or more, I'd woken up to "Good morning Baby" and a small squeeze on my arm. How would I function without hearing his voice? How would I go to school every day? How would I even be able to face everybody? How would I live?

I rubbed my feet together nervously, listening to the scraping sounds as the soles of my shoes collided with each other. For a second I thought I saw his reflection in the overly-polished floor, but it was nothing but me and my pitiful, guilty face.

I'd been trying to convince myself for the past few hours that this ugly twist of fate wasn't my fault, but it wasn't easy. If only I had woken up five minutes later, or made sure to remind him that I loved him before he left… Maybe if I had done that, he wouldn't be an inch or less from death. The thought kept worming its way back into my head until it had eventually stuck, leaving me to wonder about all of the "What If's?" for countless hours.

I looked up as I heard the obnoxious clicking of his nurse's heels. Why in the world the hospital would hire a nurse that walked around in five inch pumps, I would never know. Hopefully she actually knew what she was doing in this case, or there might be hell to pay.

"Any news?" I croaked, my voice sounding weak from underuse.

She glanced up at me, pursing her lips in way that showed this was the last place she'd like to be, and raised her eyebrows.

"Oh, you're the boyfriend?" she asked, scanning me up and down while putting a hand on her hip.

I rolled my eyes. Was there no kind of training on how to handle the friends and family of patients here?

"Is there any news? How is he?" I asked firmly, my blood pressure starting to rise.

The nurse sighed and straightened back up, chomping loudly on her bubblegum. Was gum even allowed in hospitals, or was it only cigarettes that had been outlawed here?

"The kid's condition's still about the same and his breathing's still a bit iffy. If you ask me, he's lucky to even be alive."

If that last bit had been an attempt at consoling me, it had been a really poor one. "Lucky to be alive" didn't mean that he was going to make it. I nodded and mumbled "Thanks" as she clicked her way over to the front desk, delving into conversation with a few giggling nurses.

I buried my face in my hands, inhaling large amounts of his cologne, which reminded me of that morning that had now felt so long ago. He was laughing at me as we got ready for school together. I was hogging the bathroom, which pissed him off since there was only 20 minutes left until the first bell and his hair was still wet. After a while, I finally opened the door and that's when he started spraying me with his cologne, hoping it would "Scare me out of the bathroom." He was right- It did, but not before I smelled completely like him… Maybe a little too much like him.

Why is it always the little things that mean the most to us in times like these?

I kept asking myself all of these questions as I sat there, tired, hungry, and alone. I wanted so badly to go home, but there was no way I was leaving his side. The chair would have to do for me tonight.

I slouched down in the chair, leaning my head against the wall behind me. It was hard, and like the rest of this place, uninviting, but I just had to deal. Life clearly wasn't sunshine and daisies, after all.

I took a deep breath and stared at the ceiling, one thought among them all leaving me restless:

Why couldn't it have been me?