Author's Notes: Yooooo this fic is pure self-indulgence at this point. Also this takes place sometime after Cars 2 but before Cars 3, so don't worry about any spoilers. Cars are humanized! For that reason, Luigi and Guido have only been together about 20 years because they're around in their early 30's, maybe late 20's in this fic. As always with the two (and Mama Topolino), the dialogue is in Italian.

"I still can't believe you got married so suddenly, Luigi! When your uncle and I received your call this morning—well, we're a little upset you didn't inform us ahead of time, but I know sometimes love can't wait! I'm sure she's a lovely woman, my dear. You always had the best taste."

"Uhm," Luigi replied smartly, for once in his life at a loss for words. Mama Topolino tutted and continued on about wanting him to visit so they could meet his new bride, or at least let them know when he could take some time off work so they could make a trip to Radiator Springs to see the happy couple.

Luigi blinked dumbstruck, as his aunt continued to chatter. He hesitantly raised his left hand and stared at the silver band on his ring finger.

Then he looked to the bed, where the sleeping form of a very naked Guido was nestled underneath a mountain of blankets.

How on earth was he supposed to tell his aunt that she had already met his "bride" several years ago? That his "bride" was the same boy who had always played with Luigi growing up, and worked alongside him in her husband's tire shop?

"Mama—" Luigi began, but was cut off when his aunt insisted she had to get going, and oh, she was so excited to finally meet the woman he would start a family with! He stuttered out a "goodbye" and, with a promise that she would call again, Mama Topolino finally hung up.

Luigi stared blankly at the phone for several seconds before dropping it on the bedside table with a clatter. He crawled into bed next to his sleeping husband, the man he had married last night in pure impulse.

That wasn't necessarily his fault either; he hadn't exactly planned on marrying Guido last night but, well...

"What do you mean you don't know when you're getting married?" Sally asked in surprise, her voice a little louder than necessary considering they were currently at Flo's with only a handful of people present. Luigi glanced at the drink in the young woman's hand and her flushed face. He made a mental note to tell Guido to lock up the bar for the night.

"I mean...I don't know..." the tire shop owner muttered, praying nobody who heard (and trust him, everybody had heard) would approach them on the matter. But no, it seemed that Sally's voice had attracted enough attention that all of the town's residents were making their way towards them in curiosity.

"What's this about getting married? Who is?" asked Sheriff in surprise, having reached them first. Before Luigi could clarify the misconception, Mater butted in excitedly.

"Dad-gum! A weddin'!"

"Actually—no, that's not—"

"A wedding? Did I hear that right?"

"No! No, there isn't—"

"Congratulations, man..."

"Wait, listen to Luigi—"

"A what? What did he say?"

"Nothing—"

"Someone's getting married, Lizzie—"

"Nobody's getting married!" Luigi yelled suddenly, after being drowned out by everybody else's exclamations. Several pairs of eyes turned to him in surprise; Luigi had never really raised his voice at any of them before.

"Don't be silly," Sally dismissed, nonplussed by his sudden outburst. "You and Guido are."

"They are?" came a chorus of voices from the surprised townsfolk, but the only sound Luigi heard was a small gasp from behind him.

He turned around and came face-to-face with a very shocked Guido.

"Amore mio..." Luigi greeted weakly, trying his best to smile despite the fact that he felt like he was having a full-on panic attack on the inside. This-this was not going the way he planned... Hell, he hadn't planned any of this to begin with! He had just made an off-hand comment to Miss Sally about hoping to marry his longtime lover eventually (and the reason the topic came up in the first place was because the young lawyer had confided in him her desire for McQueen to pop the question soon) but he certainly hadn't expected her to make such a huge fuss about it.

"We're getting married?" Guido asked him, his wonderful purple eyes wide as Luigi stared at them, captivated. He could feel that he was the focus of the entire room, and couldn't help but flush under everybody's gaze.

Guido continued to stare at him inquisitively, his question still hanging in the air between them. With a small sigh, Luigi realized that "eventually" was just a question away.

He got down onto one knee, the gesture accompanied by soft gasps and "aww"s around them. Guido's face turned several shades of red before settling for a pinkish hue on his otherwise pale face. It looked like the best damn thing Luigi had ever seen.

"Guido, you see…" Luigi began in Italian, because really only Guido needed to hear this, and while Luigi knew Guido understood English and could speak it quite well if he felt like it, which he almost never did, the tire shop owner wanted this moment to be just about them. He wanted to speak to Guido in the same way he had when they were young boys, playing in his Uncle's shop and almost knocking down stacks of tires in the process. "I love you. I have always loved you, and you know that. I promised you back in Italy that we would marry one day, when I have proven myself to be worthy of you. I am thankful you have stuck by my side since we were children, and I cannot express to you how happy I am that several decades later, you remain mine. I…I don't have a ring for you right now, and I know this isn't exactly how we expected this proposal to go…but regardless, I love you and I want nothing more than for you to become my husband."

Red-faced and eyes prickling slightly, Luigi reached out and took Guido's left hand in his. Pressing a kiss to the base of his lover's ring finger, he looked up and grinned at his best friend's startled expression. "Will you marry me?"

Nobody else understood what Luigi had rambled on about for the past few minutes, but they had an idea, if the look on Guido's face was anything to go by. They all held their breath, looking back and forth between the two Italians at a standstill. Even Luigi was starting to get unnerved, considering Guido had yet to respond. Was he really that shocked? Despite the fact that Luigi had made it very clear beforehand that he was going to propose sooner or later?

Would he say no? Luigi's stomach lurched at the thought. No… impossible. He and Guido had been in love for many, many years! There had never been any indication that they wouldn't remain together forever. Unless…

Before Luigi could assume the worst, and Guido knew he was because his boss was starting to get up looking very, very distraught, Guido rolled his eyes and practically tackled Luigi to the ground with a hug.

"No," he said very quietly, his face solemn. Luigi's eyes went wide in shock and his mouth fell open in a small 'o'. Laughing, Guido smacked his best friend upside the head. "Yes, of course I'll marry you, stupid. I don't know why you even bothered to ask."

Luigi blinked at him, words still processing. He very nearly got a heart-attack when Guido had said "no". He almost passed out from that word, and probably would have had he not seen that mischievous smirk on Guido's face. With a snort, the taller Italian buried his face in the crook of his lover's neck. He could feel Guido shaking in silent laughter. He ought to take back his proposal to get even, but he was much too giddy to follow through with it. Instead he grabbed Guido by the front of his shirt and hauled him down for a quick kiss.

That was soon followed with loud cheers from around them, and Luigi almost started at the sound, having already forgotten that they were the center of attention. He could hear Mater whooping in joy, and Lizzie laughing at the idea that it had taken him this long to ask. Red was crying happily in the background, with Sarge and Fillmore arguing where the best place to conduct the ceremony would be. Sally was of course very pleased with them—or herself, Luigi couldn't tell—and next to her, Lightning was beaming. Sheriff looked like there were tears in his eyes but Luigi knew better than to bring attention to that.

Flo and Ramone suddenly appeared carrying trays of champagne for everybody. While they were passing out the drinks, Luigi got to his feet, pulling Guido up with him. They shared a loving grin before being handed a glass of champagne each.

"To Luigi and Guido!" cried Sally, raising her glass in the air. Squeezing Guido's hand, Luigi couldn't help but tear up at the fact that they were one step closer to forever.

The reason they had all been gathered at Flo's to begin with was to celebrate the fateful day Lightning first arrived in Radiator Springs. How it ended up becoming an engagement party was beyond Luigi, but he was eternally grateful nonetheless.

Of course, nobody could prepare him for what was about to follow.

When asked when the wedding would be, Luigi had shrugged his shoulders. They had just gotten engaged after all, so he wasn't really focusing on anything besides the fact that his lover had just become his fiancé in just a few short minutes.

Unimpressed by his lacking response, Lizzie suggested, "Why not get married now then?"

At first, Luigi assumed the old lady was merely teasing him. She had a habit of doing that on a daily basis, so he just brushed her words off with a laugh. However, Guido grabbed his arm and squeezed, excited at the very prospect of marrying his best friend that same night.

"Luigi, we should."

Luigi spluttered. "You want to? Right now?"

Guido fixed him an even glare, earning him an amused huff from his boss. "I've been waiting for this moment since you suggested it when we were children. I'm not waiting anymore."

A fair point, Luigi couldn't deny. He wasn't planning to at any rate. After all, he had never been one to oppose Guido's desires. Why start now?

"Let's get married then."

They would do it at the court room, it was decided. Sarge and Fillmore agreed on it anyway, which was a first for them. While Red, Ramone, and Sally prepared the court room for the ceremony, Lightning and Mater ushered the two men outside.

"I'll take Luigi, Mater, you and Guido follow us," McQueen called to his best friend, dragging the tire shop owner to his red racecar. Mater saluted the pair of them teasingly before guiding Guido to his rusting tow truck.

"Where are we going?" Luigi asked in confusion as he buckled himself up. Lightning flashed him a million-dollar smile before speeding off towards the freeway.

"You'll see!" he called over the roar of the engine.

At precisely nine o'clock that evening. Luigi found himself pacing back and forth inside the empty showroom of Casa Della Tires. He was wearing a handsome three-piece tuxedo with a yellow vest, his hair slicked back and mustache trimmed and groomed perfectly. Frowning, he stopped in front of the tall mirror in the showroom and gave his reflection a look-over.

This was probably the best he'd looked in years.

Lightning had generously taken the soon-to-be wed couple to a fancy boutique a few cities away, using his ties as the famous Piston Cup champion to get his two friends some tuxedos. While they were at it, he'd also purchased Mater a respectable suit for the occasion, knowing his best friend did not own anything fancier than overalls. Luigi had insisted he pay for the tuxes, but McQueen adamantly refused, handing his credit card to the clerk while simultaneously taking Luigi's.

"Luigi, this is the least I can do for you two," the young racecar driver said solemnly, cutting off Luigi's cries of protest. "I can't even tell you how much you and Guido have done for me. I have the fastest pit stops on record thanks to you guys! You've helped me win all my races since you joined my crew. And well…"

Blushing slightly, Lightning looked away, playing with Luigi's credit card in his hands. Embarrassed, he mumbled, "You two are some of my closest friends and I consider you family."

At those words, Luigi couldn't help but laugh. Guido looked equally as touched, and they wasted no time enveloping McQueen in a group hug. Who knew that the same cocky man who had destroyed their road all those years ago, who had dismissed them initially as yet two more members of "Hillbilly Hell", would become part of their close-knit community here at Radiator Springs?

McQueen flushed harder but made no move to leave their embrace.

"Are you ready?"

At the voice, Luigi practically jumped out of his skin. He was nowhere near calm enough for this. If it wasn't inappropriate to show up to his own wedding slightly drunk, he'd have already downed half a bottle of wine. Turning around with his arms spread wide, he raised an eyebrow at Sarge, who was leaning against one of the many shelves. "Do I look ready?"

"You look ready. Are you?"

"No. Yes. Maybe. I don't know—"

"Do you have the rings?"

"Yes, yes," muttered the tire shop owner, pulling out a small black box from his pocket. He had earlier bought the wedding bands (because like he said, he had always made plans to marry Guido and knew without a doubt that it would happen) during their most recent trip to Italy, when McQueen was invited to race in the World Grand Prix. He had been in charge of leading his friends to Uncle Topolino's home, the very place he grew up in. On the way over, Luigi had seen a jewelry shop with the most beautiful wedding bands on display at the window. The next morning, before anybody had even gotten up, he had returned to the small shop and purchased the bands in glee. He had meant to surprise Guido with them before the trip ended, but the many incidents that occurred during the race, and as well as concern for McQueen's wellbeing, distracted him and the black box remained tucked away in his luggage.

Until today, that was.

Sarge walked over to where Luigi stood looking almost helpless, staring blankly at the shining, matching silver bands. "Do you want someone to present them or…?"

"…I'll do it," Luigi whispered, shutting the black box suddenly. He was a nervous wreck and he knew he had no reason to be. Guido loved him. Guido had loved him since they were small children, sneaking into races so they could watch Ferraris zoom around the track. Guido had accepted his love without any question, and had returned it tenfold. There was no question that he was absolutely crazy for his best friend.

Nothing would go wrong with this wedding, Luigi knew. And they had practically been married this whole time, so he really wasn't concerned with any big changes. The only difference was the fact that after this, he would finally be able to call Guido his husband.

And didn't that have the nicest ring to it?

"Luigi? Are you ready?"

More than anything, Luigi thought with a soft smile, already walking towards the entryway of the showroom. Before shutting the gates, he couldn't help but look back at the tire shop he and Guido worked so hard to build. This business was their child of sorts, and he couldn't be more grateful that it was Guido who had helped him make his dreams a reality.

He would be a married man when he returned back to the shop tonight, and he would be carrying his new husband in his arms when he did.

The courtroom was buzzing with chatter, from what Luigi could hear from outside. He was told to wait for a bit as they made the final touches, so there he stood leaning against the door to the very room where he would be wed. Closing his eyes, he attempted to calm himself down, taking deep, shaky breaths.

"Nervous?"

Luigi's eyes snapped open.

An angel.

There was an angel in front of him.

An angel wearing the same kind of tuxedo as he was, except his vest was a light shade of blue instead. This angel was grinning, his normally unkempt hair, often hidden by an ivy cap, was combed and parted on the left. Luigi wondered what on earth he had done in his past life to deserve having this angel stand in front of him.

"Not anymore," Luigi replied quietly, as Guido moved closer to adjust his tie. There was nothing wrong with it, but he wasn't complaining, if it meant he could admire his beautiful lover from such close proximity. "Guido, you are simply breathtaking."

Flushing happily at the words, the smaller man buried his face in his lover's chest. He personally thought Luigi was the most handsome thing he'd ever seen, and at that moment, Guido sincerely hoped that the wedding and reception would not take very long; every second spent with Luigi looking that gorgeous tore at his self-control, which he did not have much of to begin with. At this point, he would gladly skip the ceremony altogether and just sign the papers so he could get to the honeymoon portion of the evening.

But no. He had been waiting several years for this exact moment. As much as he wanted to marry the idiot, he hadn't wanted to be the one to propose. After all, it was Luigi who kept promising him a grand proposal. Guido wasn't one for huge public gestures, so he'd decided that he'd leave the whole marriage thing in Luigi's very capable hands. Granted, he hadn't realized that the moron would keep putting it off, but he supposed that was the beauty of Luigi. He got so invested in his work and any new projects thrown his way that he barely dedicated any time for himself. Despite that, Guido never felt as though he'd ever been ignored, and not one day did Luigi forget to shower him with affection.

Maybe that was why he hadn't pushed getting married up until today. There hadn't been the need to because he'd never doubted Luigi's love for him. Marriage was just the icing on the cake; they'd been together so long that they already acted like a wedded couple.

This just made it official on paper.

"Ti amo."

The moment the words left Guido's lips, Luigi surged in and captured them with his own. Smiling at the pleasant and familiar sensation, the smaller Italian threw his arms around his lover, running his hands through his slicked back hair. They were about five seconds from ditching their own ceremony and sprinting back to their flat above Casa Della Tires when someone cleared their throat behind them. They pulled apart dazedly, still wrapped up in each other.

Sally seemed torn between laughing at the guilty looks on their faces when they saw her, or scolding them for wrinkling their tuxes and messing up their hair.

Instead, she kept a neutral face as they attempted to quickly fix the damage they'd inflicted on the other. Guido sheepishly reached up to flatten Luigi's hair, which he had disheveled in the midst of their passion. The taller male found this endearing and couldn't resist pecking his lover's lips.

When they were finally presentable, Sally led them through the courtroom doors where all their friends—no, their family—awaited them.

Guido squeezed his hand tightly. "You ready, boss?"

Squeezing back, Luigi winked at his longtime lover as "eventually" became a reality. "More than anything."

The ceremony had gone by pretty quickly. The two Italians had walked up the aisle to stand in the front of the room, exchanged their vows (Luigi might have cried and Guido still had tears in his eyes) before Luigi presented his new groom with the rings. They had been a perfect fit, just like the couple themselves. After that, they had kissed for the first time as husbands. Sheriff handed them a wedding certificate to sign, and later, well…

"Dance with me, Guido!" a very inebriated Luigi yelled over the music, dragging his new spouse to the middle of the makeshift dance floor. Flo had insisted the reception take place at her restaurant, where the two had gotten engaged a few hours ago. The set up was practically the same as the small party earlier, except there was a giant "Congratulations Luigi and Guido!" banner hanging from the ceiling.

Guido knew Luigi had a few glasses of champagne, but now, after watching his husband giggle and spin him around with absolutely no coordination whatsoever, he was starting to suspect that Luigi may have had chugged an entire bottle instead.

What Guido didn't know was about thirty-minutes prior, Luigi had made a life-changing call to his aunt and uncle in Italy.

"I'm nervous."

"Don't be, man, your family will be so happy for you…" Fillmore nodded dazedly, sipping on a concoction of his that made Sarge recoil in disgust when he had tasted it. Luigi bit his lip, wanting nothing more than to leave the phone and return to the reception where everybody was being served cake. He wanted cake. Cake and Guido.

"Maybe I should wait until tomorrow…"

"Noooo, no, Luigi, dude, you have to now or you'll never do it. Here—" Fillmore thrust his beverage in Luigi's face. The shorter man looked at it nervously and raised an eyebrow.

"What is it?"

"It'll calm your nerves. Trust me."

He didn't like the sound of that, but at this point, Luigi knew he wouldn't have gotten to where he was without following along with his friends' antics. With a sigh, he accepted the green drink and made a face.

"To marriage."

"To marriage!"

Luigi honestly had no idea what he had told his aunt and uncle during that phone call. He didn't even take into account that it was barely sunrise in Italy, and that they had just gotten up. Instead, he'd called while the effects of Fillmore's drink were still strong, and well… He'd told them he had gotten married a few minutes ago.

Or at least, that was what Luigi thought he'd told them.

Clearly the call he had just received from Mama Topolino said otherwise.

Groaning, the tire shop owner buried his face on his pillow. He didn't know what to do. Did he even want to tell his aunt the truth? Or should he just play clueless and insist that he had just made a drunk phone call the night before?

He supposed he could just tell the truth…

But then…how would she react? He came from a very small, conservative little town. They might not be as excited to learn that he hadn't married a nice young woman at all, but his best friend…who was a man…

"You're too loud," complained a groggy voice next to him, and Luigi turned his head to stare at the angelic face beside him. Guido slowly opened his eyes and squinted at his lover. "Go back to sleep. It's too early and I'm tired and sore."

"I know. I'm sorry, love, I did not mean to wake you."

Guido raised an eyebrow at Luigi's words. He recognized that tone of voice; Luigi only ever sounded that way when he was hiding something. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing…"

"Luigi," the purple-eyed Italian began warningly, fully sitting up to glare down at his lover. "What happened?"

Knowing it would not take long for Guido to get him to spill the truth, Luigi scrambled to his feet. He headed for the door, stopping only to grab his underwear off the floor and throw it on hastily. "I'll make you breakfast, Guido!"

"Wait—Luigi! Dammit…" Muttering under his breath, Guido rolled out of bed, grabbed his underwear off the television screen (Luigi had been particularly enthusiastic), and marched straight out the door and to the kitchen. Well, half-marched anyway. He soon realized that his body was much too sensitive from the previous night's—er, early morning's—activities, so he decided to walk slowly the rest of the way there. He found Luigi beating some eggs determinedly. Taking a seat on the counter next to his husband, Guido cleared his throat.

Luigi didn't even look up.

"We are barely married maybe ten hours at most, and already you're keeping secrets. What's wrong, my love?" Guido softened his voice towards the end. He knew he very rarely called Luigi any pet names, so he hoped the fact that he did now would be enough for Luigi to realize that he was genuinely concerned about him hiding whatever was causing him so much distress. Sure enough, Luigi finally stopped scrambling eggs and sighed.

Bracing himself on the counter but not yet looking up, he muttered, "I called Mama and Uncle yesterday and they think I am married to a woman."

Guido blinked.

They were quiet for all of five minutes before Guido wordlessly hopped off the counter and walked back into the bedroom. Startled, Luigi stared after him, wondering if he had upset his husband. He heard the sound of Guido fumbling with something, and then, "Ciao, Mama."

Feeling the blood drain from his face, Luigi bolted back into their bedroom in a speed even McQueen would be impressed with. He could only stare dumbfounded as Guido animatedly spoke to Mama Topolino on the phone.

"Mama, did Luigi tell you we got married last night?" Guido asked with a grin, winking at his awestruck lover standing at the doorway.

Luigi heard his aunt reply and held his breath. He watched Guido's face for any sign of worry in case the words were not welcoming, but it seemed that his fear was unnecessary; Guido was laughing.

"Yes, yes, it's just me. I don't know what he told you… Yes, he was the one who proposed. It all happened last night… Yes, me too… Okay, I'll let him know. Goodnight to you, Mama. Tell Uncle we said hello. Goodbye!"

And with that, Guido hung up and flung the phone towards the pile of tuxedos on the floor. Giving Luigi a look that clearly said "you're such an idiot" he hopped back into bed, the bedsprings squeaking beneath him. Seeing his best friend still staring, mouth agape, Guido motioned him over.

"Well?"

"Well what?"

"I don't get a 'thank you' for clearing this misunderstanding up so you didn't have to?"

"Oh…yes, thank y—"

"That's not the kind of thanks I had in mind," Guido laughed, waggling his eyebrows suggestively.

Getting the hint, Luigi bowed slightly before approaching the bed and joining his wonderful husband underneath the sheets. They laid there in comfortable silence, hands interlocked, before Guido cleared his throat.

"So… when are you going to show me your thanks?"

Luigi snorted. "Eventually."

But this time, he didn't waste a second getting to it.