"This isn't a good idea."
"Sure it is, Riles, it's a great idea."
Voices floated toward him as Josh opened the front door to the Matthews apartment. As the door swung open they fell quiet, and he saw Riley and Maya glancing at him uneasily.
"Hi." He said, curiosity piqued by their in no way subtle behavior. "What are you girls up to?" Riley blinked.
"Nothing." She said, unconvincingly. Maya looked at her friend with a kind of fond exasperation.
"None of your business, Uncle Boing." She gave him a sweet, sarcastic smile. It had been three years since she'd first called him that, but while her crush on him seemed to have subsided, the nickname had stuck. He raised an eyebrow.
"Fine. Is Auggie around?" It was Friday night, and for once he didn't have any plans. When Cory had called and asked him to stay over for the weekend so he and Topanga could go to a conference, Josh couldn't refuse. Going to school near his family had it's perks, but there were drawbacks too, and babysitting was one of them.
"In his room." Maya waved toward it. Josh nodded, reluctantly making his way away from the girls and down the hall. He didn't hear much from them for the rest of the night, aside from them claiming to go to bed just before ten. Their obvious plan to sneak out clarified the conversation he'd walked in on earlier, but he was babysitting Auggie, not Riley. Besides, he doubted he could stop Maya from going even if he tried.
He fell asleep on the couch, somewhere in between The Late and The Late Late Show, waking to the familiar sound of his phone ringing. Riley's face flashed across his screen, and as his gaze fell over the time just above it, his stomach dropped.
"Riley? Where are you?" It was after two, and he knew she wouldn't be calling unless she was in trouble.
"I'm at St. John's park. Me and Maya snuck out, and we went to this party, and this guy wouldn't leave me alone, and-"
"Are you alright?" He asked, slightly panicked.
"Um, yeah. We just need-"
"I'll be there in ten minutes." Josh answered, before she could even finish asking. He hung up the phone and dialed a new number. "Jenna?" He asked, as an incoherent noise came across the line. He was relieved that she'd even bothered picking up the phone so late. "Are you home?"
"Yeah, Josh." Her voice was thick with sleep. "I'm sleeping. Like normal people do in the middle of the night."
"I know, I'm sorry. Look, I kind of have an emergency. Would you be able to come upstairs and watch my nephew for an hour?" He had never fully appreciated the value of having a friend live in the same building as his brother. Now, though, he considered it a blessing. There was hardly a beat between his question and her response.
"Yeah, okay. I'll be right up."
She was true to her word, showing up in pajamas, not even bothering to discard the blanket wrapped around her shoulders as she knocked on the door. He let her in and she shuffled over to the couch, dropping into the seat he'd vacated in front of the TV.
"Thank you." He touched her lightly on the shoulder, and she just smiled.
"Hey, don't worry about it. Is everything okay?" She asked, clearly picking up on the tension radiating from him. He shook his head.
"I don't really know. I've gotta go. Thank you again." He said, already edging his way out the door. "I should be back in an hour." She waved him off, and he shut the door behind him, breaking out into a full sprint. The park was close, but the car his father had gotten him as a graduation present revved loudly as he pressed his foot down on the gas. He slid into the parking lot, barely making it into a stall before throwing the door open and running toward the two female silhouettes sitting near the entrance.
The girls sat on a stone wall, facing away from him. Riley turned at the sound of his footsteps, moonlight glinting off the tear tracks staining her face.
"Riley." He grabbed his niece by the shoulders, eyes darting over her in an assessment. "Are you okay? What happened?" She sniffled, leaning in, and he wrapped her in a tight hug.
"I'm fine, Uncle Josh."
He pulled away.
"I thought you said-"
"The guy that was bothering me, Maya told him off. And he left me alone but he, he-" She let out a little hiccup, looking startled, and Josh felt a weight drop like concrete into his stomach.
"Maya?" He asked Riley. She gave another wet sniff, lip quivering.
"I think she's okay. You know, sort of." She said quietly. Josh did not find that reassuring. Releasing his niece, he stepped slowly toward the mess of blonde hair and denim still perched on the wall.
"Maya?" He asked again, this time addressing her directly. She stiffened, but turned. Josh stilled as he caught sight of her, breath catching in his throat.
Her lip was swollen and bleeding, a matching slash of red decorating an already purple bruise on her right cheekbone. Her shirt was torn, the thin strap hanging unattached on one side. But the worst part was her eyes. They were still blue, and beautiful, but the expressive light that had elicited a stutter and a smile from Josh the first time he'd seen her in years was gone. They were dull and glassy, and the way they stared right through him had him turning back to Riley in fear.
"What did he-what did they…" He didn't even know what to ask. The brunette hiccupped again, shuffling closer to her uncle.
"They just grabbed her, kind of pushed her around a bit. Then one guy hit her, and I tried to pull him off but his friend held me back, so I- I screamed. They let us go. And we came here." She gestured around the park.
"Okay." Josh said, even though it wasn't, and she wasn't, but he didn't really know what else to say. He reached out to put his hand on Maya's shoulder, but Riley's hand snaked out and swatted his out of the air.
"Don't. I already tried that. She…doesn't like it." Riley murmured, her eyes big and brown and sad. Her first nature was to love and touch. Josh could see that it was killing her to not be able to hold her friend.
"Okay." He said again, softly. He turned back to Maya.
"Maya. I think we should take you to the hospital."
For the first time since he'd found them, Josh saw a spark in Maya's eyes.
"No." She mumbled. Even the one word tumbled awkwardly over her fat lip, and Josh felt a wave of rage rise like bile in his throat. He's always known there were men like this, but Maya was simultaneously fierce and tiny and the idea that anyone would do this was eating at his stomach like acid.
"Maya-" He wasn't sure he had ever said her name this many times.
"No." She said again, this time a little louder. Her eyes blazed, and it was beautiful to see, but he hated that she was so stubborn, even now. He knew her though, and knew on this, at least, her word was law. So he sighed. He just wanted to get her home. Once they were there he could decide whether or not to fight her on this.
"Fine. No hospital. Let's just go home." When he said home, he meant his brother's place, because he needed to tell Katy, and he knew that, but he also needed to see for himself that she was alright. He was pretty sure Katy and Shawn were out of town, anyways, and he needed to check on Auggie.
Maya eyed the ground warily. It took Josh a minute to realize that she was in more pain than she let on and the drop was big enough for her to find daunting. Fearless Maya, he thought, a little a heartbroken. Afraid to jump two feet. He slipped an arm around her waist, quick enough that she had no time to protest, and lowered her gently to the ground. She winced anyways, and he felt a little nauseous.
The ride home was short, but the silence in the car was heavy with unanswered questions. Maya sat next to Josh and stared out the window and Josh fought the urge to forget about the road and stare at her. By the time they reached the walk-up Riley was more collected and Maya seemed to have retreated even further to that dark place inside herself and Josh didn't really know what to do with either of them. He followed them up the stairs, only looking away to slide the key into the door and usher them inside. Jenny was asleep on the couch, and both Riley and Maya stopped abruptly to stare at her.
"Who's-" Riley began, but Josh just shook his head.
"Later." He muttered. He walked over to the couch, gently shaking Jenny awake.
"Hey." She mumbled sleepily, blinking up at him. "Everything okay now?"
He jerked his shoulders in something resembling a shrug and she began to smile, her mouth dropping open in shock as her gaze fell on Maya behind him.
"Do-do you want me to stay?" She asked. Josh didn't know how that would help, and it looked like neither did Jenny, but he was touched that she would offer and hoped his thank you would convey at least some of that.
"No." He sighed. "Thank you, though. And thank you for watching Auggie. I owe you."
Jenny yawned.
"We're even. I haven't forgotten about the time you told Professor Amhurst that I had pneumonia and got him to give me a second chance to take that exam." She said, patting him softly on the arm. He forced a smile and she stood, making her way past the girls toward the door. "Just… call me if you need anything else." Her eyes drifted to the bruises that seemed like magnets in the room. He nodded, and then she was gone.
A now familiar quiet set in, stifling and loaded.
"I don't know what to do now." Josh said, because it was honest and also because he needed Maya to say something, anything. She looked at him, and her eyes weren't quite so glassy and that was something, at least, so Josh shuffled the girls onto the couch and sat down between them. Maya kept her distance. Riley slid close enough that their knees bumped together.
"I need to know what happened." He finally told them. He knew they didn't want to tell this story, could feel the discomfort radiating from Maya, but he was still half-ready to throw Maya over his shoulder and drag her into the emergency room. So he needed some answers. He wasn't surprised when it was his niece who broke the silence.
"We snuck out to go to Taylor's party. His parents are out of town. When we got there people had already started to leave, and some of them were going to this college party and we had already snuck out so…"
"You went." Josh finished for her. He gestured for her to keep going, but his eyes were on Maya. She let out a violent shiver, and he unzipped his hoodie, draping it over her shoulders. She didn't say anything, but slipped her arms into the sleeves and clutched it so tightly against her chest he was surprised her fingers didn't tear right through the fabric.
"Yeah." Riley continued. "It was at some guy's townhouse, and everyone was pretty drunk. A guy came up to me and offered me a drink, and I said no, actually Maya said no. Well, actually Maya said 'what do you think we are, stupid?', but anyways we told him we didn't want the drink and he said 'come on' and I said 'no thank you' and he said-"
"I think I get the idea." Josh interrupted her.
"Right. But then he asked me to go upstairs with him-"
"What?" Josh choked. "Didn't he know-"
"He knew." Maya spoke softly from beside him. "I told him she was seventeen. He didn't care."
Josh stared at her.
"Riley said no, he grabbed her arm-"
"Then Maya pushed him and called him a perv-"
"He freaked out and, um he…."
"He pulled Maya's hair. And then he… did that." Riley finished, gesturing at Maya.
"There was some other guy too, he grabbed Riles when she tried to help." Maya snaked her hand across Josh's lap, and Riley took it in hers.
"It was all my fault." Riley said. "You did this for me."
"It's not your fault." Maya argued vehemently. "I'm the one who wanted to sneak out, I'm the one who talked you into going to that townhouse. I put you in danger."
"It's nobody's fault." Josh said, slightly incredulous. "I mean, it's his fault. Some guy assaulted you, Maya. He tried to attack Riley. It's his fault. Only his." His eyes searched Maya's and was surprised to see them filling with tears. He wanted to throw both arms around her, to stroke her hair and let her cry on his chest. But she didn't need him right now. He extricated himself from the two of them, standing up. Riley slid across the space, opening her arms so Maya could lean in.
"I'm going to check on Auggie." Josh said softly. Riley nodded into Maya's hair. "If you two aren't here when I get back-"
"We will be." Riley promised.
Every step away from them was difficult, like he was tethered to the couch by an elastic band, the tension increasing with the distance between them. He paused outside Auggie's door, pushing it open slowly. His nephew lay sprawled across the bed, curls pressed into his pillow. Relieved that at least one of his responsibilities was safe, he shut the door and grabbed a cloth, some hydrogen peroxide and a bowl of warm water from the kitchen.
When he returned to the living room the girls were both huddled on one side of the couch. He cleared his throat.
"We should look at, uh, that." He pointed to the bruising on Maya's face. "I'm still not totally convinced we shouldn't go to the hospital."
Maya frowned.
"It's fine, Josh. I'm fine."
It was a blatant lie. He ignored it.
"Okay, well I want to see that for myself."
She hesitated, but nodded. Josh sat on the coffee table, facing her. She leaned forward, and he brushed the hair out of her face. The purple on her cheek had deepened, and the blood was beginning to dry.
"Riley." He turned to his niece. "I forgot to get band-aids. And acetaminophen." She glanced at Maya, but nodded and disappeared down the hall.
"Why are you being so nice to me?" Maya asked, once Riley was out of earshot. Josh stopped dabbing at the cut on her cheek and stared at her.
"What?"
"I know what you said, but…you're Riley's uncle. You should be mad at me." Her words were distorted as they passed over her swollen lip, and everything about the night felt wrong and unfamiliar. She didn't sound like her. Not with that lisp, not with that quiet sadness in her voice. It bothered Josh more than he understood.
"Why would I be mad at you? Riley's not my kid, Maya. So you guys snuck out to go to a party. It's not like I didn't know what you were doing."
He pressed the wet cloth gently against her cheek and she winced. He felt it, like a punch to the stomach. The initial shock of seeing Maya like this had worn off, and somehow the more he looked at her the worse it felt.
"You knew?"
"You went to bed at ten. On a Friday. I kind of assumed."
"Why didn't you say anything?" She muttered, leaning forward. She was still short enough that it meant looking up through her lashes at him, and he fought the sudden urge to cup his whole hand to her cheek. He pressed the cloth against it instead.
"You guys are three years younger than me. I'm here to babysit Auggie, not you."
She snorted.
"Three years used to mean a lot to you."
He set the cloth down. Her eyes were serious, but a little more present. He sighed.
"Maya-"
Riley chose that moment to come rushing back into the living room.
"I couldn't find the big band-aids, just the little ones. So I've got gauze, tape, small band-aids, Tylonel-"
"Thanks, Riles." Maya cut Riley off, patting the couch beside her. Riley sat down, passing the handful of supplies to Josh. He sifted through it.
"How bad is the pain?" He asked Maya, even though he had an idea.
"It's fine." She said. The fact that it was through gritted teeth lent little credit to her story.
"Mhm." He frowned disbelievingly at her. She sighed.
"Okay. It feels like some 6 and a half foot meathead beat the shit out of me." She offered. Josh rubbed his face tiredly, pressing his fingers against his eyelids until he saw spots.
"Well." He managed. "I don't think you have a concussion. So you're probably alright to take some of these." He rattled the bottle at her. Riley jumped back up, returning with a glass of water. Maya took two of the pills as Josh handed them to her, and he finished cleaning up the parts of her that were bleeding. In the end there was a patch of gauze taped over her cheek, much to her chagrin.
"This looks ridiculous." She mumbled. He just shook his head.
"Yeah, well we wouldn't want to scar that gorgeous face." He murmured. Riley coughed. "Uh, you two should try and get some sleep. Maya, where are your mom and Shawn?"
She stared at him in alarm.
"Portland, why?"
"I mean, I have to tell them what happened. Cory and Topanga too." At his words, both girls glanced at each other, fear in their eyes.
"No, Uncle Josh-"
"Don't even." He said, cutting Riley off before she could get started. "They're your parents, and they need to know."
"Ugh." Maya made a noise of disgust. "Do you hear yourself?" He winced.
"Yeah. Apparently I'm turning into my brother. Whatever. We can argue about it in the morning." He waved his hand as though to dismiss them. Riley stood, helping Maya do the same, and Josh watched them until they disappeared into her bedroom. Once they were gone he collapsed onto the empty couch with a groan. A quick glance at the green numbers on the stove told him it was almost half past three. While he was no stranger to late nights, they usually involved either a party or a paper, and somehow this had been more draining than either.
A couple minutes later he was standing in the bathroom in his boxers brushing his teeth. He jumped a little at the sound of the door tapping the wall as it swung open.
"Oh." Maya took in his bare chest with a noise of surprise before averting her eyes. "Sorry." She reached for the door.
"It's fine." He handed her the green toothbrush, the one he knew was hers. They'd both spent enough time here that he knew all sorts of things like that. She took it and reached for the toothpaste. He shuffled over to make room.
The bathroom was quiet for a minute or so, only the scratching of bristles on teeth breaking up the silence. Josh rinsed out his mouth, then moved over to let Maya do the same. He didn't realize he was staring until she reached up to touch her face.
"Is it that bad?" She brushed her fingers self-consciously across her lips. Josh found it distracting in a way that had nothing to do with the bruise.
"Uh, no." He shook his head. "Just…I'm sorry. That this happened to you." His heart constricted a little as he spoke, the sentiment something he hadn't been fully aware of until he'd said it. She looked sad, too, but also indignant enough to restore some sense of normalcy to the night.
"That's stupid. It wasn't your fault." She told him, dropping her toothbrush next to his in the cup. He rolled his eyes.
"It's a saying Maya. It means I wish bad things wouldn't happen to you. That I care about you." He searched her face for something, pain maybe. She just looked tired. And a little surprised.
"Why?"
"What?" He asked, confused.
"Why do you care about me? I'm no one to you. I'm just a friend of your niece's. A girl who used to have a ridiculous crush on you. We're not friends, we're not…anything." She crossed her arms over her chest. For some reason hearing her use past tense when talking about her feelings for him hurt almost as much as her saying they weren't friends. He rubbed the back of his neck uncomfortably.
"Okay, well first of all, you're not just a friend of Riley's. You're Maya. You've seen Shawn and Cory, you know how friendship works in this family. And I thought we were friends. I guess I was wrong." He shrugged. She frowned defensively.
"So, what? You're like my uncle too? I'm just one of the Matthews?"
He knew she didn't mean it like that, but the thought of her with his last name sent a jolt through his stomach.
"I wouldn't…I wouldn't put it like that." He muttered. She raised an eyebrow at him. They stared at each for a few moments, a stalemate. Suddenly, she dropped her arms, sighing tiredly.
"People get tired of me. I know that. I'm surprised Cory and Topanga haven't banned me from this place yet. But you…I liked that you didn't pretend with me. You never said you cared, you told me you didn't like me, you were honest. You don't have to say things you don't mean just because I got hurt."
He took a minute to process that, to let it sink it exactly how little Maya thought of herself. A flash of anger flared in his stomach, and he stepped forward, pinning her against the bathroom wall.
"Your dad left you because he was a bad guy. A coward. And Cory loves you, he talks about you all the time, and yes, he does consider you one of the Matthews. Topanga loves you too, she says you remind her of herself." They both knew what a compliment that was. Maya blinked at him, and he took a breath to steady himself. "And just to be clear, I never said I didn't like you. I said I was too old for you, because I was. Yes, you got hurt tonight. Yes, it kills me. Yes, I would say anything to make it better for you. But I haven't said anything I don't mean. People don't get tired of you, Maya. If they leave, maybe it's because you're special, maybe it's because they're afraid that they're not good for you."
He was breathing a little bit heavier by the time he broke off, and Maya looked wary. Her eyes were big, the kind of endless blue he often got lost in, and her lip wobbled slightly.
"I don't believe you." She said, and it broke his heart because he could see exactly how much she meant that.
"I know." He sighed. "I know I've messed this up, I tried to keep a safe distance and now you think it's because I don't care. I didn't want that, Maya. I care."
She so wanted to believe him he could feel it. Very slowly, he reached out, brushing his thumb across her bruised jaw.
"Why do you care?" She whispered. "I'm not like Riley, or Topanga. I'm not good."
He shook his head.
"You don't have to be like them to be good. You're one of the best people I've ever met. You took on a guy twice your size to protect your best friend. And look-" He ran his fingers lightly over her bruises, over her bandage. "You got hurt, and she doesn't have a scratch. You took care of her. You didn't have to do that, but you did."
Her eyes filled, lip really trembling now, and then she launched herself at him, burying her face in his chest. He just held her as the sobs wracked her body, arms nearly crushing her against him. It didn't last long. After barely a minute, she pulled away, wiping her eyes. She hissed with pain when the salt hit her cut, fisting her hands.
She looked different, new, her eyes full of vulnerability. But he recognized her all the same, this was his Maya.
"Am I okay?" She asked quietly, and he knew it was up to him to convince her.
"Yeah." He tucked a stray hair behind her ear. "Yeah Maya, you're okay."
She nodded, and he could see her trying to pull herself together.
"Riley's probably waiting for me."
He didn't want her to go, but it was three in the morning, and they're both exhausted, and he wasn't entirely sure where they could go from here anyways. So he agreed.
"Yeah. You guys should get some sleep." He let his hand drop from her face. "We can talk tomorrow."
She searched his face for what exactly that meant, he knew she was wondering if this moment was it, if it would all be over tomorrow. He smiled.
"I like you." His voice was low, remembering. She remembered too, he could tell, both their minds on the first time she ever said that to him.
She returned the smile, hesitantly, then turned toward the door. Halfway into the hallway, she stopped.
"It's been three years. Why now?" The words came out in a rush, like they had escaped without her consent.
"I've always liked you, Maya. It never really went away." It wasn't as hard to admit as he'd imagined it would be. She frowned.
"So then-"
"I don't know." He admitted, shrugging. "It's complicated. But you're graduating in a month and maybe…that will be less complicated." He threw his hands in the air, aware of exactly how predatory that sounded. There was no better way to say it, really. But he had tried to keep his distance, hoped Maya would move on, tried to tell himself it was inappropriate. But she was here, and she was looking at him with eyes that were wildly old beyond her years, and he didn't know that it was so wrong anymore.
"I turned eighteen months ago." She pointed out, seeming to know exactly what he was thinking. He groaned.
"It wasn't just about that. You were supposed to go to college, and do amazing things, and forget all about the crush you had on me."
She bristled.
"It wasn't a crush."
He grinned, couldn't help it. Some things may change, but others never do.
"And what about now?" He asked, watching her carefully. Normally so confident, so sure, Maya fidgets with the hem of her shirt.
"It's not a crush now either." She confessed. She suddenly leaned forward again, and before he could react, kissed him. It was soft, patient. He raised his hand to cup her cheek, careful of her bruises. Her lips parted under his, a sigh of contentment. He wanted her, sure, but this was a beginning, it was like saying hello for the first time. But her hands curled into fists against his chest, and patience turned to lust. His arm wrapped around her waist, tugging, and she stumbled forward until there was no space between them. His mouth turned needy, coaxing hers open until he could taste her. Her hand slid down his chest, palm open.
"Maya." He groaned her name into her mouth, and she bit down on his lip. "Wait." He pulled away, instantly missing her touch. She blinked up at him, eyes dark, sending a flash of heat through his stomach.
"You don't…do you not want…" She trailed off, sounding small, the want on her face slowly being replaced by humiliation. He ran his hand up her arm, squeezing it lightly.
"Of course I want to. But it's been a really long day." He pressed a kiss to her forehead. "Get some sleep. I'm not going anywhere, okay?"
She nodded, leaning into him one more time, an embrace that felt like home to both of them.
"Okay. Night, Beautiful." She teased, resembling her old self a little more. He laughed.
"Night, Gorgeous. I'll see you in the morning."
She hummed at that, the smile on her face turning soft.
"I like the sound of that. I'll see you in the morning."
And then she was gone.
She was skittish for a while, angry. But he helped her through it, Riley helped her through it. Soon the only marks on her neck were lovebites, something neither Maya nor Cory appreciated.
"You know I'm pretending not to know about this." Cory reminded him a few months later, after noticing a particularly bad hickey peeking out from Maya's collar. He blushed, Maya smirked.
"You're going to have to acknowledge it at some point." She grinned at Cory. "I got into Parsons. Josh and I are moving in together."
Cory stared at her.
"Parsons? Design school? Maya that's amazing!" He pulled her into a tight hug, and for the first time, Maya realized that Josh was right. Cory loved her. She was a Matthews to him.
When he pulled away, beaming, Maya nodded.
"I got into the Fine Arts program. It's supposed to be pretty good. And it's only ten minutes from NYU." She turned to bat her eyelashes at Josh. He laughed, throwing an arm around her. Cory glanced between the two of them suspiciously.
"Shawn's not going to like that. He's still pretending you're not together and Maya has never kissed a boy." He reminded them. Josh had the good sense to look nervous.
"It will be fine." Maya assured both of them. "Him and Mom need some privacy anyways, that place is way too small for all three of us."
Cory didn't look convinced. Josh tried not to think about it.
"I guess it's your choice." Cory finally said, throwing his hands in the air. Josh smiled.
"You know, you should start getting used to it. Maya could end up being your Sister-in-Law." Josh mused.
Cory and Maya simultaneously choked on their tongues.
Josh patted his girlfriend on the back, chuckling. Cory seemed frozen in horror.
But four years later, when the wedding rolled around, he was thrilled to welcome Maya into the family. She finally got to be a Matthews.