History Always Repeats Itself
By Kimbyann
Author's Notes: Here is the first chapter of my first story! All usual disclaimers apply, these characters are not mine, blah blah blah. Feedback and constructive criticism always welcome!
The cemetery was unusually quiet this evening. Buffy strolled through the rows of gravestones, keen to any movement or noise; but none came. Sighing, she sat down on one, absently tapping a stake against her knee. Annoyed, she muttered under her breath, "Come on, there's gotta be one lousy vamp in this place!"
"Evening Slayer," an accented voice called from her left.
Buffy shot an amused look upward, "That's not what I meant."
"What was that pet?" the voice was next to her ear now.
Buffy jumped up, ignoring the feelings his nearness evoked, "Nothing Spike, I was just leaving."
Spike raised an eyebrow at her, and smirked. "I'm wounded Slayer. You'd make a body think you were avoiding them."
She sighed, pushing a strand of hair out of her face. "What do you want Spike. Is this a business call, or are you just trying to obnoxious me to death?"
Reaching in his coat pocket, he removed a pack of cigarettes. Lazily, he struck a match on a gravestone, lit a cigarette and exhaled a stream of smoke in her direction. "Bit dead out tonight."
"So many comebacks to that statement."
He pointedly ignored her, continuing, "Seems a pity to waste such a lovely evening alone in a dreary cemetery."
Guessing his train of thoughts Buffy interjected, "As opposed to the oh-so-charming atmosphere of your crypt?"
Spike sauntered closer to Buffy, reaching a hand out to caress her shoulder, and smirking when she jerked away. "Oh come now Slayer, you can't tell me you don't want this. Lonely little girl, you are. Seeking me out for some rough and tumble. You know I have what you want."
Buffy glared daggers at him, "The only thing you have is a burning desire to meet with Mr. Pointy. I told you it's over. What part of that statement does your peroxide burned mind fail to grasp? What happened between us wasn't right. Slayers don't get involved with vampires," Buffy saw Spike open his mouth and she quickly cut him off, "And before you start in on certain soul-carrying vampire of my past, maybe you should examine how that relationship ended. Face it Spike, me slayer, you vampire, it's just not meant to be." Without waiting for his reaction, Buffy quickly turned and started stalking out of the cemetery.
Spike stared after her for a moment, mouth agape, before quickly moving to intercept her. "Now you just wait a minute Slayer," the words were practically being spit from his mouth, "I have had it with this holier than the world routine you always have going on. I may be in love with you, but that doesn't mean you can yank me around like this!"
Buffy took a quick step back from him, momentarily stunned by the look of danger glinting in his eyes, before recovering. Drawing herself up as tall as her five foot three frame would allow, she twirled her stake in front of her, glaring hard into Spike's eyes. "Yanking you around? I think I made my feelings pretty clear after your little stint as demon egg harvester. There is no 'us'. There can't be an 'us'. I'm sorry that this is painful for you. I know you have…feelings for me-"
"Feelings?" Spike interrupted sharply, "Bit more than 'feelings' luv."
Buffy held her hand up, "Regardless," she continued, ignoring his protests, "whatever we had is over. If you can't accept that…maybe you should leave."
"Oh you'd like that, wouldn't you Slayer. Add me to the list of men you drove away. Can't seem to hold on to one, can you? There's not a part of you capable of feeling anything is there? You're so dead inside, you might as well have never been brought back. Maybe you were better off dead, you certainly aren't making a go at living now."
Buffy recoiled as if he had hit her. Spike's mouth slammed shut as he realized what he'd said. "Cor pet, I didn't mean-"
Buffy brushed past him. "This conversation is over. I don't want you near me, my friends, or my family. I don't want to see you on patrol; I don't want to see you! Stay away from me."
Not turning back to see his reaction, Buffy stalked out of the cemetery. She walked hard and fast, barely aware of what she was passing or how far she had walked. Finally feeling that enough distance had been put between them, that he was not there stalking the shadows, Buffy allowed herself to slump down against a tree. She sat there, perhaps for minutes, perhaps for hours. Time passed and she did not acknowledge the passing. She did not cry. There were no tears left in her. No will to feel grief or sadness of any kind. She simply sat, until the sun had finally rose. Only then did she feel she could return home.
***
As Spike watched Buffy's retreat, he knew it would be pointless to follow her. No sense trying to talk to her now. Spike almost growled as he turned and started stalking back towards his crypt. This was ridiculous. They did nothing now but argue themselves into circles…Spike's thoughts were whirling around in his head. 'If I didn't love that girl so much' he thought as he trampled through the gravestones, returning to his crypt, alone.
***
Buffy opened the door to her home quietly, hoping not to rouse any of the occupants inside. As she shed her jacket, and went to start up the stairs, she heard a softly spoke "Buffy?"
"Willow? What are you still doing up?" Buffy asked, walking into the living room.
"I couldn't sleep, thought I'd wait for you…Thought you might want to indulge in some Ben and Jerry's with me. Didn't know you'd be out so long, I must have dosed on the couch."
"Sorry, patrol was-"
"Overly eventful?"
Buffy sighed, "Bleached blonde with a touch of obnoxious."
"Ah," was her only response. Willow motion for her to follow, and walked into the kitchen. Walking over to the refrigerator, she pulled out two cartons of ice cream and held them up.
"At six in the morning?"
Willow shot her a look, "Is there a bad time for ice cream?"
"Point taken." Buffy grabbed one of the cartons, and got some spoons from the drawer. Sitting at the table she focused all of her attention on the ice cream.
"So…" Willow started.
"Yeah…"
"You want to talk about it?"
Buffy sighed, and look up into Willow's eyes. "I don't even know what to say to him anymore. I mean it's over…It's beyond over, and he can't seem to grasp that."
Willow gave a little shrug as the corners of her mouth turned down, "It can be hard accepting that someone doesn't want you in their life anymore…Especially when you have such strong feelings for them."
Observing the look of sadness that had entered her friend's eyes, Buffy quickly put down her ice cream and grabbed Willow's hand. "Spike and is not Tara. What we had was completely different from your relationship. What Spike and I had…it was just sex…Granted it was really, really good sex-"
Willow's mouth quirked up into a small smile and she raised her eyebrows at Buffy.
"But it was just sex!" Buffy finished a little too quickly to be entirely convincing.
"Just sex?"
"Of course!" Buffy grabbed her ice cream quickly, stabbing her spoon into the sweet concoction and shoving a bite into her mouth. She glanced up into Willow's mischief field eyes. "What?"
"Nothing, I didn't say anything? See? I'm non-speaky girl. No speak, nope, nothing."
"It was! Sex! Nothing more, just hot, sweaty, vampire sex!" A thick moment of silence dropped into the room before both girls burst into laughter.
Through her giggles, Willow choked out, "Do vampires even sweat? I mean, the whole dead thing? Come to think of it, how do they even-"
"Willow!" Buffy exclaimed, lightly smacking her with her spoon.
"What? It's a valid question."
Buffy rolled her eyes at the mischievous glint in the redheads face, "One that I think I'm better off not knowing the answer to. Besides, as I said before, we're over." She sighed, dropping her ice cream on the table, "I just wish he would get that."
Willow looked at her, "Do you want to un-invite him? I mean, I can't do the spell, but I'm sure Tara…"
Looking at the melting ice cream, Buffy frowned, "I don't know."
Realizing the conflict present in her friend, Willow suggested "Well…why don't you go to the Magic Box tomorrow? I'll make a list of what is needed, and you can pick it up." Buffy opened her mouth, and Willow quickly interjected, "I'm not saying we should do the spell, but at least you'll have the option."
A heavy silence sat upon them for a moment. "I guess it couldn't hurt," Buffy conceded.
Willow sent her a small smile, "Right, no harm in being prepared right? Like the boy scouts!" She frowned, "Wait a minute-"
Buffy laughed softly, "All right, I don't know about you, but I'm exhausted, and I have to be at work way too soon."
"Then to bed you must go!" As they gathered the ice cream cartons to return them to the freezer, Willow glanced at Buffy, "This was nice."
"What?"
Willow shrugged, "This…talking again. It was nice. We should do this more."
Buffy smiled at her, "Yeah…I know things have been rough these past few months, but I think they're getting better. Magic addictions and undead ex-boyfriends aside."
Laughing, Willow replied, "That's for sure. Good night Buffy…or good morning."
"Night," turning and exiting the kitchen, Buffy ascended the stairs and went into her room. She stripped her patrol clothes off quickly, and threw on her pajamas. Glancing over at the light beginning to peak its way through the curtains, Buffy crawled under the covers. She closed her eyes, yet despite her weariness, did not find sleep until the sun had climbed much higher in the sky.