Hello everyone!
So, as a small introduction to this:
I have recently started to watch the series Reign and was quite taken with Kenna and Bash as a couple.
I haven't written anything in some time and I had some time this afternoon, so I started to write this little piece, just because I felt like writing and publishing.=)
I hope you like it!
Feel free to review!
She had to choose.
There was a life she had always wanted to have.
She had always wanted to rise in station. She had wanted to have wealth and prestige.
When the King had noticed her she had felt blessed at first. There was someone who wanted her; who found her beautiful; who bowed to her wishes.
It was something that was new, thrilling and exciting and also gave her many pleasures.
Suddenly she had power and it had felt great. She thought she would rise and become someone without any worries and fears, someone one could be proud of, someone who was respected and always invited to every festive there was.
But suddenly her whole world had collapsed.
The King had gone mad and fallen apart.
The next thing she knew, she was married to the King's bastard son.
A man who would never inherit any titles or wealth.
Someone who had been bestowed with the mock title of 'Master of Horse and Hunt'!
Laughable!
The Kind had made him and her as well a laughingstock!
Kenna had felt so ashamed and embarrassed.
All of her dreams had shattered.
The nights had become dark and long, though not lonely, since she had to share the room with her new husband.
What she could not have foreseen then, was how much her life would change with Sebastian de Poitiers at her side.
He had been sweet and caring. Instead of claiming what she was bound to give him as his wife, he had let her come to him. Instead of pushing he had been patient and kind.
And suddenly, he had sneaked under her armour and somehow wound his way into her heart.
She had come to care for him and even learned to love him.
She would never forget their moment on the balcony, when Bash had professed his love for her and when Kenna had felt certain. His words hit her in her stomach back then. They had crept deep under her skin and let her shiver, though her insides had warmed at the same time. It had been an unfamiliar breathtaking feeling and everything had felt right then.
"I love you too."
The words had silently left her lips before she even knew it and she had been rewarded with a gentle smile that she still often cherished in her dreams.
Bash's smile had been so sweet while his hands had build a warm protective lair around hers. Everything had felt real and right.
"What a miracle." He had told her.
And it was.
He had never thought that he could ever love a woman like Kenna and respectively Kenna had thought the same.
For a moment everything was perfect.
But their good days had not lasted.
What had started as a disaster and turned into a miracle had soon become a disaster once again. Kenna had felt afraid of the King who had stalked her in the castle when Bash was not around.
She had found herself more often alone in her chambers while Bash was out hunting the Darkness. And when it had not been the Darkness he had other errands to run for Francis.
When the King had died and Bash had become Chief Deputy, Kenna had been thrilled at first. Her hopes for a title and money had blossomed anew.
But just as soon they had also withered again.
She knew that Bash was not interested in comfortable mansions and high society, but still she had hoped, in vain as it turned out.
The more she was left to her own, the more she felt neglected and lonely and suddenly she had started to doubt Bash. She had started to doubt their marriage.
And then Antoine came along and almost popped out of nothing, like a saviour to the starving.
He had given her his attention.
He had been charming, handsome and rich.
And he had promised to make her a Queen.
And Kenna saw her dreams again in front of her eyes:
The girl with the wealth and station that she had wanted to be.
In comparison to the lonely nights that she spent in her chambers, the opportunity seemed splendid and wonderful and she wanted to say yes!
She wanted to have it all!
A different life.
Something Bash could never give her.
But then, a couple of hours afterwards, she had felt ashamed.
Ashamed, because Bash had apologized and asked her to dance which he had never been fond of much, but he had asked her, because he knew she liked it. He had invited her to Paris, because he knew she liked it.
And all Kenna had wanted to do was cry.
Bash was so caring when he wanted to be.
He was protective and handsome and he was her husband.
He was still her Bash when he wanted to be.
The one she had fallen in love with.
If Antoine only was Bash!
Kenna shook her head and drew the curtain in front of the window.
No! She corrected herself.
Sebastian de Poitiers would never be like Antoine, King of Navarre, because he would always be Bash.
Just Bash.
No more and no less.
She had told him that he was enough.
And she had meant it!
She really had, because even now her heart told her that he indeed was enough.
She loved him.
She still did!
It was just her head that betrayed her, her head and her silent yearning that she had had for years now and which was not easy to let go.
She knew that she had to choose in the end between heart and head.
Why was life so difficult?
Why could it not be easy?
But she had the silent notion that she could only have one thing in life.
Love or Station.
Her thoughts wandered to her friend Greer who was in love with the kitchen boy Leith.
Maybe she should talk to her about it.
Kenna groaned frustrated and went to back to the window.
It was dark outside and the torches were the only light source there was.
She felt restless and uneasy.
With quick steps she left the room and marched down the barely lit corridors.
She knocked at the door and Greer opened after only a short moment.
"Kenna! What happened? You look awful!"
"Greer, I think I have been so stupid!"
Greer quickly ushered her friend into her room and let her to the window sill to sit down.
"Tell me what happened."
So Kenna told her all that had happened.
Her secret hopes and dreams, the fact that Antoine had proposed to her, Bash's attempts to make good and their fight.
"And now I have no idea where he is!" Kenna cried but Greer patted her shoulder soothingly.
"I am sure that he is okay."
"But, what if he won't come back!? What if I ruined everything!?"
"Does that mean you want him to come back?" Greer asked.
Kenna's lips puckered. "Yes!"
"Even though he cannot give you any titles?"
"I…"
"Kenna, I think, you have to ask yourself what you could live without. Titles or love. Imagine you marry Antoine and he makes you a Queen, but what if he doesn't care for you the way Bash does? Could you be happy then? Is that what you want? Or what if Bash and Antoine were the same. What if they both had titles and money and they both wanted to marry you. Can you tell who you would choose?"
Greer looked into her friend's eyes and Kenna stared back at her a little taken aback.
She sniffed and blinked.
Suddenly she looked surprised.
Shivers ran down her spine like ice water.
"Bash." She whispered and fresh burning tears filled her tired eyes. "I would choose Bash…" Her voice broke and new sobs shook her shoulders.
Greer put her arms around her and stroked her back.
"He loves you Kenna. He will come back!"
But Kenna's sobs grew only louder.
The cruel truth was that she wanted Bash and it had probably cost her her marriage to realize just that; that he was what she could not live without.
That he was enough as long as he kept treating her just like she was the only one.
Bash was a man who would always put his family before anything else.
And Kenna recognized that she had actually always been a Queen.
A Queen of hearts; of his heart.
But a Queen never the less.